deafer than thou

Eyeth said:
Thank you for bringing up a sensitive subject, and a sore one at that. Due to my ASL skillz, I was asked if I had Deaf parents, all the time. Especially by Deaf women trying to 'size me up'. I would always politely answer no, and immediately knew that my prospects for dating this particular woman just went down the toilet.

Yes, it has been highly frustrating and hugely disappointing. I have lost many chances at a decent relationship over this seemingly insurmountable divide. Still, I bear no grudges or harbor resentments. After all, they are missing out on a good thing! ;)

However, more disconcerting and personally disappointing was that I, too, on occasion, have succumbed to sizing up others, based on their ASL skills. Hence, this is a sore subject for me, but frankly, I'd rather discuss it out on the open-- I can have a better handle on this issue and strive to be a better Deaf person, learning from mistakes in my past.
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that's so sad, eyeth... it shows that the deaf community DOES have a hierarchy system- people from strong deaf families/etc are on the top of the pyramid while deafies who don't sign or have any links to deaf culture are on the bottom.
 
SxyPorkie said:
Oh yeah.. I agree with you... I attended to the VSDB when I was 5 yrs old... older kids asking me if my parents were deaf..I said Yes... then other kids were warned that any kid from deaf parents are smarter... I was puzzled.. it was no big deal if my parents were deaf... My father went to same school in which i attended... they knew my father very well... they made it like it is big deal...

Thanks!!
SxyPorkie
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did you graduate from vsdb? i only ask because the majority of my education comes from growing up at vsdb :). small world, eh?
 
Nope no one ever said anything to me about it. If they did then they better feel retared about it.
 
suicidegirl said:
did you graduate from vsdb? i only ask because the majority of my education comes from growing up at vsdb :). small world, eh?
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Yes I did.. the year of 1964.... it's small world LOL so was my father,.. but he did not graduate.. he got expelled for kissing a girl.. thats what he told me.. I suspected it was sex.. LOL LOL
SxyPorkie
 
suicidegirl said:
that's so sad, eyeth... it shows that the deaf community DOES have a hierarchy system- people from strong deaf families/etc are on the top of the pyramid while deafies who don't sign or have any links to deaf culture are on the bottom.
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and that sort of pecking order isnt justified, its doesnt helps to enculturate deaf people, rather it de-culturate. ON the other hand, why's its those 'high literated/high on 'calm' as being a hearie's way of political talk type get the attention and the hype?
its weird and its not 'helping' if you think about it
the 'high-english' deafs dominate the administration position to 'baby-sit' the low-english deafs in the 'deaf-based work-force structure'
this shows 2 things, english is a 'passport' to elitism WITHIN the deaf community, AND it REMINDS that the sign language is STILL a 'handicap' language for the retards, an inferior language

ok so the 'lost' deafs from hearing familys, get caught up in the pecking order, how the hell can you expect them to be 'saved' a culture-identity with this thrashy treatment?

nuff my rant
 
suicidegirl said:
that's so sad, eyeth... it shows that the deaf community DOES have a hierarchy system- people from strong deaf families/etc are on the top of the pyramid while deafies who don't sign or have any links to deaf culture are on the bottom.
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It depends if one cares or not. I personally couldn't care less what these folks think. What is interesting to me is that this is not a phenomenon unique to the deaf community. This is a universal experience that all cultures have in subgroups as people want to know where they "fit" in society. I prefer not being "labeled" and just being myself and not worrying about some hierarchy. There is a lot of flexibility in this... :D
 
Interesting, it doesn't affect me but I noticed that the children of deaf parents are smarter and popular due their body movement and sign language beautifully.

Yes, I'm agree that the children of deaf parents are very pride of their deafness and depend on deaf culture.
 
I'm sure this happens but is it really much different that the "clicks" that form in mainstream hearing schools? When I was in school there were always seperate social groups that were judged in one way or another. All of the sports nuts were labled Jocks and they stayed in their own group. Then there were the Freaks and the Nerds and at one school there were the Stomps. The Freaks were the ones always getting high and the Stomps were the ones that wore cowboy hats and big ole belt buckles. The Nerds... well I think we all know what the Nerds are. While I don't agree with this type of practice, it's something that happens in society. Personally, I believe this is another form of ignorance that hopefully folks will grow out of as they get older and learn to respect people as humans and not include or isolate them just because of how deaf they are, or if they play sports or not. We are all brothers and sisters of one race. The human race.
 
LuciaDisturbed said:
I was often asked if I went to "deaf institute" (school for the deaf)....::shrugs::
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I answered:

"Yeah, I went to deaf institute then had to go to hearing school to receive proper education."
 
Unforetunaly, yes it did happen to me. First of all I grew up in deaf school with all of my "so call family/friend". Until I was in (I think) 4th or 5th grade. My mom noticed my education isnt great. She was comparing mine to my younger brother and my younger brother learned alot more than I do. It wasnt my fault because the deaf school provides STINK education. so naturally respond.. my mom got upset and decided to transferred me to the public school. I was so angry at her because I felt like she robbed my life from deaf school but i didnt understand the education part until I enrolled at public school and was struggled so hard but eventually i made it through. I sure learned ALOT! I of course feel so good about that part. Few years later, I begged my mom to let me come back to deaf schol because my friends are my family. I've grew up with them since I was 4 years. So, my mom had a really hard time to send me back because she really doesnt want me to go back to deaf school because of lack of education. So my mom finally let me go and I was so excited to be back at deaf school and be with my friends again. Turned out that they "disapproved" me because I was mainstream at the public school!!! I was so angry and aruging this issue with them. Eventho I sign ASL.. i mean VERY ASL. They still doesnt care.. its all about WHERE I attend to the school!!! Even worst part is my best friend decided to dissed me too. SHe is from STRONG deaf family and her families do attend to this very deaf school where i came back. I for first time felt so left out and lonely. I refused let them make me feel that low so i kept on going on and be stronger.. finally they realized what they have done to me so they decide to be my friends again but that changed me alot. I decided to go bak to public school!! for education reason. I do see my mom's concerns.. so i told her that shes right and she was so happy to put me back in public school. Yes i did lost some good friends but thats okay because i know whos my true friends.. :) so anyway.. ITS TRUE... they do look at certain people and want to be with certain people just like lawyer to be with certain highly repuation lawyer, drs, policeman, u name it.. not only deafies but with everybody else. really..
 
Oh yes I know that feelings and that makes me :mad: ! I was at deaf school for a short time but I wasn't happy there so I went back to the mainstreaming school and I was more happier there. And the education was great there than the deaf school I wen't to. Who cares about DEAF pride? And that I came from a hearing family.

There's more to life than just focusing on DEAF PRIDE!!
 
LisaMarie said:
Unforetunaly, yes it did happen to me. First of all I grew up in deaf school with all of my "so call family/friend". Until I was in (I think) 4th or 5th grade. My mom noticed my education isnt great. She was comparing mine to my younger brother and my younger brother learned alot more than I do. It wasnt my fault because the deaf school provides STINK education. so naturally respond.. my mom got upset and decided to transferred me to the public school. I was so angry at her because I felt like she robbed my life from deaf school but i didnt understand the education part until I enrolled at public school and was struggled so hard but eventually i made it through. I sure learned ALOT! I of course feel so good about that part. Few years later, I begged my mom to let me come back to deaf schol because my friends are my family. I've grew up with them since I was 4 years. So, my mom had a really hard time to send me back because she really doesnt want me to go back to deaf school because of lack of education. So my mom finally let me go and I was so excited to be back at deaf school and be with my friends again. Turned out that they "disapproved" me because I was mainstream at the public school!!! I was so angry and aruging this issue with them. Eventho I sign ASL.. i mean VERY ASL. They still doesnt care.. its all about WHERE I attend to the school!!! Even worst part is my best friend decided to dissed me too. SHe is from STRONG deaf family and her families do attend to this very deaf school where i came back. I for first time felt so left out and lonely. I refused let them make me feel that low so i kept on going on and be stronger.. finally they realized what they have done to me so they decide to be my friends again but that changed me alot. I decided to go bak to public school!! for education reason. I do see my mom's concerns.. so i told her that shes right and she was so happy to put me back in public school. Yes i did lost some good friends but thats okay because i know whos my true friends.. :) so anyway.. ITS TRUE... they do look at certain people and want to be with certain people just like lawyer to be with certain highly repuation lawyer, drs, policeman, u name it.. not only deafies but with everybody else. really..
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Ahhhh... I understand where you are from.. I graduated from VSDB.. it is great deaf school... most of students went to Gallaudet after graduation.. they passed the test to enter Gally...

SxyPorkie
 
LisaMarie said:
Unforetunaly, yes it did happen to me. First of all I grew up in deaf school with all of my "so call family/friend". Until I was in (I think) 4th or 5th grade. My mom noticed my education isnt great. She was comparing mine to my younger brother and my younger brother learned alot more than I do. It wasnt my fault because the deaf school provides STINK education. so naturally respond.. my mom got upset and decided to transferred me to the public school. I was so angry at her because I felt like she robbed my life from deaf school but i didnt understand the education part until I enrolled at public school and was struggled so hard but eventually i made it through. I sure learned ALOT! I of course feel so good about that part. Few years later, I begged my mom to let me come back to deaf schol because my friends are my family. I've grew up with them since I was 4 years. So, my mom had a really hard time to send me back because she really doesnt want me to go back to deaf school because of lack of education. So my mom finally let me go and I was so excited to be back at deaf school and be with my friends again. Turned out that they "disapproved" me because I was mainstream at the public school!!! I was so angry and aruging this issue with them. Eventho I sign ASL.. i mean VERY ASL. They still doesnt care.. its all about WHERE I attend to the school!!! Even worst part is my best friend decided to dissed me too. SHe is from STRONG deaf family and her families do attend to this very deaf school where i came back. I for first time felt so left out and lonely. I refused let them make me feel that low so i kept on going on and be stronger.. finally they realized what they have done to me so they decide to be my friends again but that changed me alot. I decided to go bak to public school!! for education reason. I do see my mom's concerns.. so i told her that shes right and she was so happy to put me back in public school. Yes i did lost some good friends but thats okay because i know whos my true friends.. :) so anyway.. ITS TRUE... they do look at certain people and want to be with certain people just like lawyer to be with certain highly repuation lawyer, drs, policeman, u name it.. not only deafies but with everybody else. really..
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yep i udy that totally too, i was in a deaf unit, then mainstream, but for a first 3-4 years of that (can't remmy like i was really small wya back then) i KNEW something's wrong the deaf unit was all about painting (fun) and listening/speechtherapy, *frankyl i didn't mind it, 0 to be SOO honest, i enjoyed it becuase i knew i was making it and i believed the myth about becoming a hearing one day so that motivated me) but all the whole, i KNEW deaf unit was givng STINK lessons, like all babyed out, the kids (classmates in the hearing class were going 100 mph learning i was not scared of that, but was scared of being trapped in speech therapy for the rest of my life, so i pleased the teacher and got the hell out quick cuz i i wanna do the 'real school stuff, more brains, more fun but at the SAME time.....i knew the kids int he deaf unit so much better we communicated in signs kind off wasnt even encouraged/taught in class *we made up on our own! or was it trickled down from deaf school via transferred pupils, or they had older siblings - I'd NEVER know, for the rest of my life, that is the mystery. sad

but yeah i thought it was cruel (while i WAS gullible trusted adults so much about the audist views on things, - thought it was perfect because hearing aids DID work - to a point that point i 'd never know how much i can/ can't hear nor how much the hearing kids actually learnt/knew ( not so much all things int he classrooms, but everything outside it too, gossips, dinner table s talks, uncles conversation with your fathers.....- all that was education , just wasnt' 'deemed by the education board and what-not)

sorry my rant, by yeah, Lisa-Marie i KNOW EXACTLY what you are talking about, would be a great thing to have like, 5 or 10 of us iwth EXACT experiernce < id use sociology, you use liguistic, he use psycholology, and another may use espitomenology, and hell a GREAT deal of copys of a fantastically, stunningly accurate book could be spewwing out the major publishing houses...dammit
 
suicidegirl said:
that's so sad, eyeth... it shows that the deaf community DOES have a hierarchy system- people from strong deaf families/etc are on the top of the pyramid while deafies who don't sign or have any links to deaf culture are on the bottom.
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You should be interested in this 'Blinded with Science' thread of mine. In particular, I said;
Corals depend on the very base of the food chain in the undersea kingdom--Plankton and related varieties. What I find so fascinating about the 'food chain' and its related 'pyramid' is that it connotes dependency.
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So, according to this so-called 'Deaf Pyramid', the lower-case 'd'eaf people are actually the bedrock of the entire Deaf community! ;) Hey, sounds good to me!

In seriousness, there always have been 'cliques', and this phenomenon, not surprisingly, has affected the Deaf community. While I hate to characterize the phenomenon as a 'bad' thing, it's not healthy for a community, either! Rather, I would hope that members of the Deaf community look inwards, recognize the problem, and be more accepting, understanding and more tolerant of other D/d-eaf people that are 'different'.
 
LinuxGold said:
I answered:

"Yeah, I went to deaf institute then had to go to hearing school to receive proper education."
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Or, in my case, "I went to a mainstreamed program, then had to go to a Deaf school to receive a proper education!" But, I digress. ;)

That said, apparently some members of the Deaf community do 'discriminate' to some extent, based on what kind of schooling they underwent. However, this kind of social-engineering is not as prevalent in the Deaf community, fortunately.
 
Eyeth said:
That said, apparently some members of the Deaf community do 'discriminate' to some extent, based on what kind of schooling they underwent. However, this kind of social-engineering is not as prevalent in the Deaf community, fortunately.
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Fortunately ? why you say that? are you sure the free-will is more prevalent? (nice to think so, though)
 
LinuxGold said:
I answered:

"Yeah, I went to deaf institute then had to go to hearing school to receive proper education."
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Just out of curiosity, how is this attitude less disgusting than the "deafer than thou" attitude? Those who aren't from deaf families or who were mainstreamed complain about those are "deafer than thou," but it looks like a 2-way street to me. It seems as though those who are the products of mainstream education look down on those who went to residential schools.
 
ayala920 said:
Just out of curiosity, how is this attitude less disgusting than the "deafer than thou" attitude? Those who aren't from deaf families or who were mainstreamed complain about those are "deafer than thou," but it looks like a 2-way street to me. It seems as though those who are the products of mainstream education look down on those who went to residential schools.
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akhem,

read my post,

perhap you are jumping to conclusions, as does the 'deafer than thou' jumps to conclusions to believe 'hearier than thou' is a bad attitude, you see, I didn't, and yet i wrote (not clearly, got a bad headache from painting fumes) that I avoided the Deaf unit as much as i can (during Classtimes but play times, lunch times i loved their company but during the last 2 years at that primary school i was controlled thus shut off by the teachers...(that was cruel) and eventually moved to full mainstream. I wasn't a victim of my own bigotry or 'alternative bigotry' but the bigotry of the dominant' group's (hearings people) that not only wrecked me, but wrecked the harmony of the deaf community would have otherwise have had.

put it this way, its LOOKS like a 2-way street, but its not, it was orchestrated by the policy-makers from way above, systematically executed and the reinternation of this process is almost transparent, its devious.
 
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