deaf people should get ALONG with hearing people

[Silentwolfdog]

Todat, when my daughter's game ended, I was waiting for her to get all her stuff together and my ex hubby was nearby. He waved at me so I waved back and just being polite, I started talking to him about the funny things that happened at the game. U know just breaking the ice and trying to be funny but while I was in the middle of the 2nd sentence, he tirned around to jump into a converation the other parents were having. I wasn't finished and it was just plain rude. Not the first time that hearing people have done that. Shud I say thank u or f*ck u? I felt like I wasn't taken seriously or not worthy of their time.

I try hard to chat with the other hearing parents at the games instead of sitting back and isolating myself. Some of them treat me with respect but others don't just like my ex did today.

I think it is rude of hearing people to do that..jump into other conversations they overheard while I am talking. Big turn off but I don't make a big fuss about it. Just like other rude deaf people turning away to talk to other deaf people while I am signing something to them. My coworker has a bad habit of doing that to everyone so many people at work gossip about how rude that is.

People look away before I finish my sentence always drove me crazy especially if it's my family. I would force my parent to look at me again so that I can finish what I was saying even though parent knew what I was talking about. I don't care if it's a last word I need to get across lol. But if it's with people other than my family members, there's not much I can do about it. I know I did the same thing to them too.

I just don't like people stop my conversation to talk to the person I was talking to. It's easier for them to stop my conversation because I was signing, and it's natural thing for hearing people to listen to sound first, so they would turn around and listen to them instead. *shrug* It's something I don't really hold grudge over. Why get mad over things like this, I have a better things to do with my time, right?

 

[VamPyroX]

I've had deaf people degrade me because I'm "not deaf enough" for them.

Sometimes, I feel that I am over-educated... since some deaf women won't date me cuz I'm "too smart" or they know they can't outsmart me.

 

[Blade Runner]

I don't know if it's me but I find most hearing people to be more friendly than deaf people.

P.S. Don't attack me for saying that.

I share the same observation as you.

 

[Blade Runner]

I hate to agree, but I've noticed that it's true.

While hearing people may not be very understanding of deaf-related issues, they do show enough respect than a lot of deaf people I know.

If something doesn't go in the way of a deaf person, that deaf person is likely to get pissy or yell back about it.

I've seen deaf people treat hearing people horribly by talking in sign language and refusing to even use pen-&-paper for communication if an interpreter isn't available.

I would have to agree because I've seen some NTID students treat hearing students horribly such as at the Dining Commons.

 

[Blade Runner]

I've had deaf people degrade me because I'm "not deaf enough" for them.

Sometimes, I feel that I am over-educated... since some deaf women won't date me cuz I'm "too smart" or they know they can't outsmart me.

Same thing happened to me.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

It has nothing to do with being deaf. Rude people need to work on their manners. People who want respect need to give respect. It's common sense, and it goes for everyone.

Yes I second that.

It's manner behavior, not hearing or deafness.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I don't know if it's me but I find most hearing people to be more friendly than deaf people.

P.S. Don't attack me for saying that.

I has no idea since I am not an American.

I have seen a lot of deafies and hearies know how to behave in manner way or not. It depends on people's behavior, not just deafies or hearies. Is it sound that there're many deafies behave bad manner like this in America?

I have some hearing Americans who didn't know how to behave manner... (I work with them everyday) - I doesn't mean that Americans are number one who behave bad manner in the world but Germans and other natives in different countries as well.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I'm very sorry you feel that way. I am the last of 7 adopted children from India. I am a quadriplegic and profoundly deaf from birth! I can hear nothing. I am 21 years old and have struggled through school in regular classes. I learned that the only way to get along in life is to reach out and treat all people politely and respectfully even when they are mean back to me. I hope that you will come to see that treating people with respect is the only way to live together in this world. Be well, and try to be happy with yourself and all people. If all else fails, just smile Please know that we can teach the hearing world how to see us and accept us, the hearing world has much to learn and we can teach them by our example!

I love your post...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Well maybe deaf people didn't reply to other hearing people in the public very much because they can't communicate with them or if they signs, then hearing people will stare at them like they are from Mars.

Very true.

I have a co-worker who told me that hearing co-workers are scared and don't know how to communicate with me. I was like wow because I alway make first move to communicate with them about work issues. It shows their ignorant when they want to question me then get my co-worker to interpret me for them... :roll:


I alway said "thank you" when they give cakes or something out... They can say "thank you" to me as well... because it's simple word...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I don't think it's as easy as all that. Some deaf people find it very hard to communicate with hearing people and as such, they will avoid as much contact as they can if they don't know them. Plus, some hearing people can be very rude and impatient with deaf people if they do not understand what is being said straightaway. Those sighs, rolled eyes etc can be soul destroying for a deaf person.

Yes it's an exact how I feel.

I can see that many deafies have the problem with self-confidence for try to communicate with hearies after bad experience with hearies in the past.

I never forget how bad experience I had with hearies co-workers as I promoted to work for them in 1987 to 1992. They complaint to supersivor about me for nerves them with my eyes. I was like when Supersivor told me off for my "harrassment" behavior. I told him that I only have eyes then I can read or see. He said NOTHING and apologied me afterward. I was like wow because I never had problem with my old job because they understood that I cannot hear but read their lips. Unfortunlately co-workers can't accept it... complaint, complaint... how I got mobbing by horrible co-workers how to drive me nervous breakdown. Work Council moved me to other Division in 1992. They are nice to me but I lost my good self-confidence and aviod to talk or look at them but depend on my work... Some co-workers complaint to her that I am an unfriendly and odd person since they moved me in their division. Thanks to my ex-supersivor and ex co-workers for destory my good self-esteem. My co-worker move on and talk to me and question me .... I feel better and warn her that I only have eyes etc... She was like and said of course she know that I only have eyes then I can read and see anything. I told her everything... We work together in the same office for over 15 years now. She can do sign language...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Oh please......some hearing people are rude to us deafies too. It goes both ways. How about hearing people should get ALONG with deaf people likewise??

Exactly.

Each person is different, not just hearies, deafies or whatever.

We deal with my both son's horrible and disrespectful principal at school. Oh Well

 

[jillio]

Todat, when my daughter's game ended, I was waiting for her to get all her stuff together and my ex hubby was nearby. He waved at me so I waved back and just being polite, I started talking to him about the funny things that happened at the game. U know just breaking the ice and trying to be funny but while I was in the middle of the 2nd sentence, he tirned around to jump into a converation the other parents were having. I wasn't finished and it was just plain rude. Not the first time that hearing people have done that. Shud I say thank u or f*ck u? I felt like I wasn't taken seriously or not worthy of their time.

I try hard to chat with the other hearing parents at the games instead of sitting back and isolating myself. Some of them treat me with respect but others don't just like my ex did today.

I think it is rude of hearing people to do that..jump into other conversations they overheard while I am talking. Big turn off but I don't make a big fuss about it. Just like other rude deaf people turning away to talk to other deaf people while I am signing something to them. My coworker has a bad habit of doing that to everyone so many people at work gossip about how rude that is.

Personally, I would reccommend the f*ck u!

 

[lilylover72]

I can get along with hearing people. I have problem with them because I always call and ask for visit and chat. I always intive them to go somewhere. They never call me to visit and chat, or intive me. They never come to my house to chat. I always go their house to chat. I found out that they intived their own hearing people. Deaf People do same thing. I had to call deaf girls to intive them to chat or do something. They always cancel our plan last min. I am only one person to go hearing people's place or deaf people's place. why should I complain about i should get along with hearing people that I am pure deaf?

In my all life, I never complain that I have to write a note to talk to hearing people. They complain that their hand hurt. I said look, did I ask you to learn sign language and did you ask me to learn read lip? They said no. I said then accept to write so we are even. They were speechless.

Hearing and Deaf human are same! no different!

 

[lilylover72]

I forget add, My son have hearing friends from school. His friends's parent dont like me because i am deaf. They don't allow them sleep over my house and play with my son. They don't let my son sleep over their house also. I am so sorry for my son. My husband told him that Please dont against me about being deaf. My son really love me and accpet who am I. I told him that I cannot control his fiends's parent. Also I told him that he will get older, he can able go out with friends so their parent cannot do anything. I think it is not fair for him or me because he see his friends sleep over at other friend's house. That is suck!

 

[webexplorer]

This got me attention. I had that problem a few years ago. My neighbor that I liked to talk, but he was not my friend anymore. I asked him to come over this weekend a few times. He never did it. I finally caught him inviting his hearing friends to his house in the same weekend I asked him. I am so surprised. I stopped seeing him. It has nothing to do with my communication. My best assume that he loves to play his guitar with his friends. I have no respect for him.

I have two good hearing friends, but they moved away, got married, and settled their home for a job. I am just happy for them what they want to success their goal. I do miss them. Many other people are doing the same thing.

Now, I have new deaf friends that come to my house which is very nice of them. I make breakfast for them - I like to cook. They were surprised because their mother used to cook them for years, and their parents passed away a few years ago. I understand that they need a break from cooking. I don't have that problem.

 

[vrsterp]

I've found some deaf people to be very racist for example, however I don't attribute that to the fact that they are deaf. It's more that people simply are not educated about something they are not used to.

Exactly. It's irrelevant to hearing status.

 

[Mayberry]

I, like Alex, have also found most (note that I don't say 'all) hearing people to be more polite and friendly than deaf people.

I know that we as hearing people have our own problems, so there's really no need to point that out because that's not what the thread is about. "Practice what you preach" won't work here, sorry.

A lot of deaf people, like black people, act like the rest of the world owes them something. Like they expect different treatment, so they've always got their defenses up. The first reply in this thread is a damn good example of that. This is why when deaf signers see a hearing person watching them, 99% of the time they will assume that the hearing person is gawking or making fun. It doesn't cross their mind that maybe the person is interested in ASL but shy, etc. They expect us to go out of our way for them and then they show little or no gratitude or appreciation. Trust me, deafies, you are no more important than anyone else on Earth.

Don't get me wrong, I love Deaf culture and the people involved. I also know that deaf people are struggling for equal treatment, but they certainly don't deserve special. but it, like everything else, has its own problems.

 

[jillio]

I forget add, My son have hearing friends from school. His friends's parent dont like me because i am deaf. They don't allow them sleep over my house and play with my son. They don't let my son sleep over their house also. I am so sorry for my son. My husband told him that Please dont against me about being deaf. My son really love me and accpet who am I. I told him that I cannot control his fiends's parent. Also I told him that he will get older, he can able go out with friends so their parent cannot do anything. I think it is not fair for him or me because he see his friends sleep over at other friend's house. That is suck!

You are correct, it is not fair! And its a shame that your son has to learn as a child about all the ignorance and hatefulness in this world.. But hopefully, it will also make him a much kinder person.

 

[webexplorer]

I, like Alex, have also found most (note that I don't say 'all) hearing people to be more polite and friendly than deaf people.

I know that we as hearing people have our own problems, so there's really no need to point that out because that's not what the thread is about. "Practice what you preach" won't work here, sorry.

A lot of deaf people, like black people, act like the rest of the world owes them something. Like they expect different treatment, so they've always got their defenses up. The first reply in this thread is a damn good example of that. This is why when deaf signers see a hearing person watching them, 99% of the time they will assume that the hearing person is gawking or making fun. It doesn't cross their mind that maybe the person is interested in ASL but shy, etc. They expect us to go out of our way for them and then they show little or no gratitude or appreciation. Trust me, deafies, you are no more important than anyone else on Earth.

Don't get me wrong, I love Deaf culture and the people involved. I also know that deaf people are struggling for equal treatment, but they certainly don't deserve special. but it, like everything else, has its own problems.

Interesting...

I checked your background. I am not involved in a religious, but I believe in spirits. I live on a horse farm. My sister owns 10 horses. It is a lot of work, but it is fun to take care of them. We had a grown sheep. She ate some leaves of yew bush, and it killed him. We were sad, and we didn't know that. Her vet did not mention it when she gave it to my sister for her lawn. Sigh! We are thinking about adopting a goat, and we are not sure yet. Her sheep liked to hit someone with his head in their back - werid. He hit me real hard like a bull - it is unbelievable! I wonder that a goat would less hit someone?

If someone thinks of me a less, I simply ignore him/her.

 

[Dixie]

The deaf and hearing do need to get along, but I have to agree with Alex a bit here and say that here Ive seen some deafies get their panties in a wad when they dont get exactly their way with the world. But overall, I like AD.

As I said in another thread a while back, both groups of people will have their assholes. Deafies can be just as much of an asshole as a Hearie. Not trying to insult anyone, but it is true. I have had one bad experience here with a deafie (who's now banned) that got her panties all in a bunch when I said I did not quite understand what she had posted. She went off and said I must be another dumb hearie and I was like WTF?! I just did not expect that at all. but it was a lesson for me. Not all deaf are going to be super nice, but also not all deaf are going to be assholes either. I just let the whole thing roll of my back as it did not take long for me to realize this person was just being a typical asshole.

My ex-husband was a wonderful asshole - he always made fun of my lack of hearing, often used it to get his ways saying that I didnt hear him or I misunderstood then he would tangle everything up in my head and led me to believe whatever it is he said. Now I know better, he was just a typical Hearing asshole.

Now I can see what Jillio is saying. Deafies and Hearing could get along better as a whole. The Hearing view the Deaf as retards of some sort which we know is not true, then the Deafies view the Hearing as intolerant as a whole, which is not true.

I think alot of it has to do with past experiences. Maybe alot of the Deaf have been used by the Hearing so they are distrustful of the Hearing and are in the "I'll bite first and maybe he won't bite back' sort of mentality, which has done alot of damage over the years. I can understand, I was picked on and what not while growing up but I try not to say - SCREW THE HEARING THEY ARE ALL MEAN BASTARDS when that for a fact is not true.

Maybe the Hearing had a bad experience with a Deafie and are reluctant to have anything to do with them. For example a Deafie was hired to work for a buisness where all the other workers were Hearing. The Deafie demanded that everyone text her on her blackberry so that nothing got lost or she would get mad if no one else quite understood what she was asking, or if alot of the co-workers signed her off as a worthless worker because she doesnt follow directions very well (when the reality is maybe she didnt quite understand them).

It IS a two way street. Neither side can demand respect from the other, it has to be earned just like anything else. I think the Deaf should drop this Deaf only mentality and accept the fact they are living in a Hearing world. I am not saying they have to become oral and quit learning sign, I actually encourage the use of sign, it is a helluva lot easier than lip-reading! What I am saying is the Deaf need to quit hating the Hearing because they can hear and the Hearing need to stop hating the Deaf because they cannot hear.

'Nuff said

Dixie