Deaf husband question for Dear Abby

The wife says that his CI and hearing aid are not of much use/help. Ann's(how old is she, anyway? :P) advice just covers the remote possibility of hearing experts to improve his hearing situation and whatever obligations the retirement home has to the couple and maybe letting the community within know about this........so maybe let things be as they are since the husband appears comfortable with and thoughtful toward his wife with his suggestion that she take the one meal separately.....who knows...there's bound to be a few people who will emphasize????
 
Reba said:
What do you think of Abby's advice for this couple?

Wife of Deaf Husband Seeks to Cope
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Seems pretty normal advice for someone who is late deafened in their old age.

I would have advised them for the husband to get counseling for what must be depression. It's really sad he would think the solution would be to not go to meals.

I also think the wife is making too much of an issue of it.
 
Bottesini said:
Seems pretty normal advice for someone who is late deafened in their old age.

I would have advised them for the husband to get counseling for what must be depression. It's really sad he would think the solution would be to not go to meals.

I also think the wife is making too much of an issue of it.
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yes you right...to me that advice patronizing and wife defo making big issue,depression do seem the problem for both of them
 
Bottesini said:
Seems pretty normal advice for someone who is late deafened in their old age.

I would have advised them for the husband to get counseling for what must be depression. It's really sad he would think the solution would be to not go to meals.

I also think the wife is making too much of an issue of it.
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I agree the wife made too much of an issue when writing to Ann Landers. Seems to me the hubby had the emotional capacity to be okay with his suggestion....after all, its just one meal a day. I think I'd do the same thing because (if I couldn't hear anymore) this is something most of us deafies are used to.
 
personal opinion but I to prefer eat alone if I was expected to talk to everyone at meal times
 
I thought Abby was dead., I really think Abby advice was not of a lot of help . She should had told the wife it sound like her husband hearing lost is more of an issues to her than her husband. If the husband was really bothered by tis I think he would had been the one writing to 'Dear Abby' . And why would anyone be asking Abby for advice about hearing issues??
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I thought Abby was dead., I really think Abby advice was not of a lot of help . She should had told the wife it sound like her husband hearing lost is more of an issues to her than her husband. If the husband was really bothered by tis I think he would had been the one writing to 'Dear Abby' . And why would anyone be asking Abby for advice about hearing issues??
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She is. That's her daughter. She's following in her mother's footsteps. There was an article a few years back about that.
 
Reba said:
What do you think of Abby's advice for this couple?

Wife of Deaf Husband Seeks to Cope
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I'm wondering what you thought,Reba, since you made no comment?

Abby really didn't have much to say, didn't really know what to say.

I also think it's up to the person, what he is comfortable with. I like the idea of her going and him eating alone if that is what he wants, after all he's done all he can to accommodate his hearing, what else can the man do? If you can't hear, you can't hear. You can't force the other people to be comfortable around him.
 
My question is when did he have his last mapping? Also, could an updated model of processor help him more?

I am really NO expert as I have no CI; but this is the impression I have gotten from reading.
 
Why should he have to talk to everybody just to enjoy eating the provided meal with his wife?

It's incredibly stupid for him to be shut away . I don't even believe the people there would move away from the table if he can't talk to them. His wife could do it, and if she is interesting that should be enough.
 
Feel the wife is making a mountain out of a mole hill....remembering too, when I went into Rehab and was the only deafie in there....didn't deter me from going into the dining room to eat with the others and they were all "strangers" to me...I took along my pad and pen in case....and sat wherever I wanted to....people were nice to me....
 
there to eat, want good conversation go to social room if they just moved there he may want time to acclimatize and it possible he don't like them..seem wife the pushy one..i wonder if he knows she written to agony aunt and his problem now on internet,poor bloke
 
Bottesini said:
Why should he have to talk to everybody just to enjoy eating the provided meal with his wife?

It's incredibly stupid for him to be shut away . I don't even believe the people there would move away from the table if he can't talk to them. His wife could do it, and if she is interesting that should be enough.
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I get the feeling the wife wears the pants in the family, it seem to be more about her than anything else. The husband may just wanted to get his wife off his back and decided to eat a lone. Maybe he is glad he can't hear.
 
I think the wife needs to get a grip. She worries way too much about what other people will think. I wouldn't even consider leaving my husband at home alone during dinner. It's not like he has a communicable disease; he doesn't need to be isolated. Also, people can share a meal together in a friendly way without talking the whole time.

I agree with other people who have mentioned that a residence for older people is bound to have residents with all kinds of age-related conditions. If they want to socialize, they'll just have to accept that fact.

As a practical matter, it would be a good idea for the husband to have his hearing aid and cochlear implant checked out to make sure he's getting his money's worth out of the technology. He can also practice to improve his lip-reading skills.

Another suggestion others made that I like is for him to get with a good late-deafened support group that can offer him skills and techniques for adapting to loss of hearing.

The wife's attitude, to me, is disturbing. She comes across as, "Boo-hoo, poor me, my husband's impairment is ruining my social life."
 
she making problems that why he glad be eating in peace,i would if I was him
 
poor bugger I wonder if he knows it on yahoo news anyone who reads it now knows his wife pain in arse
 
Reba said:
I think the wife needs to get a grip. She worries way too much about what other people will think. I wouldn't even consider leaving my husband at home alone during dinner. It's not like he has a communicable disease; he doesn't need to be isolated. Also, people can share a meal together in a friendly way without talking the whole time.

I agree with other people who have mentioned that a residence for older people is bound to have residents with all kinds of age-related conditions. If they want to socialize, they'll just have to accept that fact.

As a practical matter, it would be a good idea for the husband to have his hearing aid and cochlear implant checked out to make sure he's getting his money's worth out of the technology. He can also practice to improve his lip-reading skills.

Another suggestion others made that I like is for him to get with a good late-deafened support group that can offer him skills and techniques for adapting to loss of hearing.

The wife's attitude, to me, is disturbing. She comes across as, "Boo-hoo, poor me, my husband's impairment is ruining my social life."
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I had a client who was a very successful businessman, I use to drive pass their house and thought how beautiful it looked . Then I had the guy as my client he had Alzheimer's and his wife had the same attitude , " "Boo-hoo, poor me" . She no longer was getting written up in the society column . I only had the guy once b/c I was coving for someone and boy was I glad . I could not stand the wife , I found her going to my clients people papers , she thought she was entitled to do as she pleases . The woman in this story remind of my client's wife. I had seen people like her. really feel 'Dear Abby '
miss the boat on this one ., She should said what you said " Boo hoo poor you"
 
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