CJB, I hear you saying that it hurts you that your wife doesn't think that you're important enough to make effort for. Is that right? I can understand why it makes you feel bad.
Thanks for understanding.
We do do our own things but she can't leave the home alone so we either leave me-only or both of us together. This friend is both of our friend which is why we go to see her together. When I say "then why don't you go off to do your own thing?" she says "she's my friend too."It sounds like you and your wife spend the majority of your time together. Too much togetherness can be a problem. We all need time for ourselves away from our partners.
Has your wife seen a psychiatrist about her anxiety? Anxiety meds work and her anxiety can be treated. I can understand if insurance is a problem since it is for most of us these days. You really aren't doing her any favors by enabling her behavior. She's suffering as it is.
She's in counseling now. We've actually made progress. Before she couldn't even leave the house. Now she can leave as long as I'm with her. I'm hoping she will be able to leave on her own soon, but I'm letting her go at the pace she needs.
Thanks everyone for your help and advice.