Concerns for daughter and dating

F

frankie33

New Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2006
Messages
2
Reaction score
0
Hi everyone my name is Frankie. I'm new here. I'm a father of 21-year-old deaf daughter named Jennifer. She has been deaf since she was 14 months after menigitis. As a teenager she never dated but had a close friendships with deaf males. She recently started a dating a hearing man who is two years younger than her. He is really good to her and knows how to sign well. I'm concerend about her deafness being a complication in the relationship. I guess I'm a little worried and overprotective. Anyone have these same feelings or situations?
 
frankie33 said:
Hi everyone my name is Frankie. I'm new here. I'm a father of 21-year-old deaf daughter named Jennifer. She has been deaf since she was 14 months after menigitis. As a teenager she never dated but had a close friendships with deaf males. She recently started a dating a hearing man who is two years younger than her. He is really good to her and knows how to sign well. I'm concerend about her deafness being a complication in the relationship. I guess I'm a little worried and overprotective. Anyone have these same feelings or situations?
Click to expand...
You just want the best for your daughter. I think all parents feel the same as you do.. But Im sure things will be ok.. Just hang in there~
 
frankie33 said:
Hi everyone my name is Frankie. I'm new here. I'm a father of 21-year-old deaf daughter named Jennifer. She has been deaf since she was 14 months after menigitis. As a teenager she never dated but had a close friendships with deaf males. She recently started a dating a hearing man who is two years younger than her. He is really good to her and knows how to sign well. I'm concerend about her deafness being a complication in the relationship. I guess I'm a little worried and overprotective. Anyone have these same feelings or situations?
Click to expand...

What are you exactly worried about? I am a deaf woman who have dated hundreds of hearing men throughout my 20s and 30s.

Sure, my deafness was difficult but most of these men were patient and kind.

But I cannot help you until you explain to us what you are really worried about?

By the way, I am a mother of 2 beautiful hearing daughters - I worry everyday that they could get hurt by a boy or man, regardless of his hearing status. I think you are a normal dad, worrying about your precious daughter :)
 
Since your daughter is 21 yrs old. There will always be a lesson to learn along the way. Some she may regret or not. But let her learn something that she will never forgot. Let her go and enjoy her date.

I know it is scary but you gotta let her go and let her learn something if thing didnt turn out well.
 
Well, u sound like my dad lol. But I would help u out abit. With hearing, best way for get sign language to communicate. Hearing had to understand deaf cultures, cuz sometime hearing feel left out. But Deaf feel same way with hearing culture and left out. So that way ur daughter can have socialize in her life and communcations easy flow in the relationships.

Other thing, have to let her go too, since she is grown up girl now. She will see in her own world, and she made her own decision, i'm sure she aware and whats best for her. I know its hard, but ur little girl is grown up.

My parents been tears for me all the time when i was turned 17 yr old, which gone to pre college. My dad always wrapped me as protective when young guys stand around. He dislike to hear those guys statements about me. Such like whoa, she is sexy. Believe me, it make me awkfard around with my dad. But he started understood i'm grown up.

Please take easy on her, and support her whenever she ask to. Just don't jump conslustion and try to listen. Maybe she will come to you for advcie or talk to. Have a great father!!!!
 
SherryCherish said:
Well, u sound like my dad lol. But I would help u out abit. With hearing, best way for get sign language to communicate. Hearing had to understand deaf cultures, cuz sometime hearing feel left out. But Deaf feel same way with hearing culture and left out. So that way ur daughter can have socialize in her life and communcations easy flow in the relationships.

Other thing, have to let her go too, since she is grown up girl now. She will see in her own world, and she made her own decision, i'm sure she aware and whats best for her. I know its hard, but ur little girl is grown up.

My parents been tears for me all the time when i was turned 17 yr old, which gone to pre college. My dad always wrapped me as protective when young guys stand around. He dislike to hear those guys statements about me. Such like whoa, she is sexy. Believe me, it make me awkfard around with my dad. But he started understood i'm grown up.

Please take easy on her, and support her whenever she ask to. Just don't jump conslustion and try to listen. Maybe she will come to you for advcie or talk to. Have a great father!!!!
Click to expand...
yes true, pls take easy on her smile i under how ur feeling abt this
 
I got along with hearing guys.. and really close friendship till he went off to college, and I went off to college.. he met gf now wife.. i met my man who is deaf..

If hearing guy is very understanding and caring.. PLUS communication.. then your daughter will just be fine. but careful, he might spoil her.. lol
 
frankie33 said:
Hi everyone my name is Frankie. I'm new here. I'm a father of 21-year-old deaf daughter named Jennifer. She has been deaf since she was 14 months after menigitis. As a teenager she never dated but had a close friendships with deaf males. She recently started a dating a hearing man who is two years younger than her. He is really good to her and knows how to sign well. I'm concerend about her deafness being a complication in the relationship. I guess I'm a little worried and overprotective. Anyone have these same feelings or situations?
Click to expand...

:welcome: frankie33!

I'm a hoh man and have yet to meet a hearing woman that would date me, much less a deaf one, so to hear that a hearing guy would date a deaf woman shows what kind of heart this young man has. He might be the real deal and may become your son-in-law, be sure to be accessible to him if he's got questions that he doesn't understand with your daughter (within reason).
 
Thank you for the welcomes, respones and advice. I ready to let her go but at the same time I'm still concerned for her. Her boyfriend is really nice and understanding of her. He has voiced some concerns with us.
 
When I was young, I used to date a few gorgeous, hearing guys. :whistle: I communicated just fine with them even though I'm hearing-impaired. I loved them a lot. But we all changed and have our own ways. Then met my kids' dad who is deaf (profound hearing loss). Just let her go, I know it's hard since some of us are very concern of our children deaf or hearing. Some of us may not let them go but we have to. They're adults and they have their own decisions to make. I know I will have to let my kids (hearing) go when they turn into adults.

Here is my story: I recalled my mom would panic, I went with my friends who are deaf and my ex who was hearing. We went to the beach to have a great time playing with volleyball (I admit I'm a lousy volley person) and chatting. I came home and saw something was wrong. The police cruisers pulled up with activated sirens and noises in the walkie-talkie or the cb radio backgrounds. I thought my mom got hurt or something. Lo and behold, she called cops on me...funny. Officers asked me how old am I, I told them 18 (two days after my birthday in 1988). One of them turned and told my mom that I'm a legal adult by law and can do what I please to do instead of breaking the law. My mom hushed herself and walked back in.

It was embarrassed to me..some neighbors looked at me like I did something terrible wrong. I always let my mom know. Dunno what prompted her to call cops on me. Probably the panic button was ringing off the hook. Looking back, I still laugh to these days. I made a note to myself not to call cops on my kids when they're 18 unless if they're MISSING which is very important to protect the family member if something happens.
 
frankie33 said:
Thank you for the welcomes, respones and advice. I ready to let her go but at the same time I'm still concerned for her. Her boyfriend is really nice and understanding of her. He has voiced some concerns with us.
Click to expand...

What do you mean by that?
He has voiced some concerns with us
Click to expand...

I understand your concerns...all you need to do is pray for God to protect and guide her life. :)
 
frankie33 said:
Hi everyone my name is Frankie. I'm new here. I'm a father of 21-year-old deaf daughter named Jennifer. She has been deaf since she was 14 months after menigitis. As a teenager she never dated but had a close friendships with deaf males. She recently started a dating a hearing man who is two years younger than her. He is really good to her and knows how to sign well. I'm concerend about her deafness being a complication in the relationship. I guess I'm a little worried and overprotective. Anyone have these same feelings or situations?
Click to expand...

Ahh I wouldn't worry too much about it..

I'm deaf - married to a hearing lady (almost 9 years) have 2 hearing children - but everyone in my family signs. So we all have to experience life one way or another. Whether it is by dating hearing deaf ladies or hearing ladies. I have dated both but just got to find the right match. :)
 
I don't get it. Would it be better for u if your daughter dating deaf man instead of hearing man? Or perfer she dating older than younger?

I married hearing man for more than 24 years, of course my parents did not like him at first. Now they love him.
 
I would be the same if my daughter was dating a hearing man. I would be concern for her but it her life and she knows what she is doing!!! So, she has to learn the mistakes like we all did. :)
 
Back
Top