Malfoyish
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- Jan 31, 2004
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Once, there was a small boy with quite an impressionable mind.
One snowy evening, he overheard his mother and father arguing.
"Bitch!" The father bellowed at his mother.
"Asshole!" She yelled back.
The boy stepped into the bedroom. "Mommy? Daddy? What do Asshole and Bitch mean?"
"Uhhh," his mother stuttered, "It means 'boys and girls.'"
"OKay." The boy said, walking away. A little while later, his parents started to argue again.
"Your dick is nothing if not useless and flaccid!" His mother screamed at his father.
"Well, if your titties sagged any more, they'd be on the floor." His father replied.
"Mommy? Daddy?" The boy raised his eyebrow. "What's a dick? And what are titties?"
"Uhm..." His father thought. "It means 'hats and coats.'"
"Okay." The boy walked off again, beginning to get a headache from all of the arguing and fighting. But then of course, as expected, they argued some more.
"Fuck you!" His mother finally said to his father as she stormed off towards the kitchen.
"Daddy, what does Fuck mean?" The boy asked.
"Um, it means to cook."
"Okay."
"Son?" His father said, "Go on downstairs and wait for our dinner guests. I'm going to jump into the shower."
A few minutes later...the guests arrive...the little boy, remembering everything his parents "taught" him, opens the front door and says:
"Hello, Assholes and Bitches. Come on in and hang up your titties and dicks. Daddy's taking a shower and Mommy's fucking the turkey."
One snowy evening, he overheard his mother and father arguing.
"Bitch!" The father bellowed at his mother.
"Asshole!" She yelled back.
The boy stepped into the bedroom. "Mommy? Daddy? What do Asshole and Bitch mean?"
"Uhhh," his mother stuttered, "It means 'boys and girls.'"
"OKay." The boy said, walking away. A little while later, his parents started to argue again.
"Your dick is nothing if not useless and flaccid!" His mother screamed at his father.
"Well, if your titties sagged any more, they'd be on the floor." His father replied.
"Mommy? Daddy?" The boy raised his eyebrow. "What's a dick? And what are titties?"
"Uhm..." His father thought. "It means 'hats and coats.'"
"Okay." The boy walked off again, beginning to get a headache from all of the arguing and fighting. But then of course, as expected, they argued some more.
"Fuck you!" His mother finally said to his father as she stormed off towards the kitchen.
"Daddy, what does Fuck mean?" The boy asked.
"Um, it means to cook."
"Okay."
"Son?" His father said, "Go on downstairs and wait for our dinner guests. I'm going to jump into the shower."
A few minutes later...the guests arrive...the little boy, remembering everything his parents "taught" him, opens the front door and says:
"Hello, Assholes and Bitches. Come on in and hang up your titties and dicks. Daddy's taking a shower and Mommy's fucking the turkey."
Good one!
