Bullies?

I was bullied by plenty of different people growing up. I can count 8 off the top of my head.

I don't have any emotional scarring from all of my bullying because I always fought back and always knew they had their own problems that they were taking out on me. I didn't really take it personally.

In fact, I am friends with one of my former bullies. He really didn't know any better. I guess he was saying hi behind my back and when I didn't respond, he shoved me into the lockers. My mom called his mom and his mom put a stop to it and he apologized to me one day in school.

They didn't believe in raising me to be a pantywaist, so my mom and dad had a rule for me.

They told me I could stand up for myself but never to throw the first punch, or I would bear the consequences.

Sorry, but I do believe that a lot of parents are hypersensitizing their kids because I do believe bullying, teasing, or harassment is a "rite of passage" for everyone growing up if you have any interaction with society at all.

Everyone I know to has endured something or other -- the important part is how you deal with it.
 
sex harrassment

I have been thinking a lot about my experiences with bullies growing up, and I had an experience in HS that could only be described as sexual harrassment. I was wondering if this could also be a from of bullying if the person harrassing you is your bully.

Let me explain...

We were in gym class. This was a modified gym class geared to physically disabled students. The students in my class were all physically disabled. Some could walk with crutches. Others were in wheelchairs.

One day, the teacher was late, so we were all sitting around waiting for her. There was alot of talking going on and we were all bored. Anyway, C. (my bully) started a conversation about sex. She asked each of us if we had had sex before. Of course, we all said no. I also replied in the negative. Well, she started taunting me for being abstinent. I just sat there quietly. She turns to this other kid, V., and asked him if he had sex before....He tells her no...Then, she starts "suggesting" that V and I should climb up on a table that was in the room... I'll let you all figure out the rest.

The teacher eventually came in, and the room quieted. Nothing more was said. I was embarrassed, but what could I do? I was just stunned.

Anyway, lately, it dawned on me that I had been sexually harrassed. And, I don't know what to feel about it now. I guess I'm....numb?

No idea. :dunno:

Your thoughts?
 
Oceanbreeze said:
Anyway, lately, it dawned on me that I had been sexually harrassed. And, I don't know what to feel about it now. I guess I'm....numb?

No idea. :dunno:

Your thoughts?
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It is my feelings we are not well equipped to help you deal with your inner-most feelings and thoughts. Have you realised that you may be suffering from PTSD? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can be helped with the professionalism of a psychologist and the the staff who deals with PTSD as well. I really suggest you seek a psychologist for this.

PTSD
 
I concur with Cookie Monster's sentiments completely. It's definitely worth addressing with a therapist.

This is off-topic but I'll bite...

The experience you had may fall under the definition of hostile environment harassment.

However, this type of sexual harassment is difficult to ascertain because the feeling and level of discomfort varies from person to person, but under the law, if it passes the reasonable woman test (IE: most women would be uncomfortable with it), it is considered sexual harassment.

Disclaimer: I'm not a lawyer so take my information with a grain of salt, please!
 
Cookie Monster said:
It is my feelings we are not well equipped to help you deal with your inner-most feelings and thoughts. Have you realised that you may be suffering from PTSD? Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can be helped with the professionalism of a psychologist and the the staff who deals with PTSD as well. I really suggest you seek a psychologist for this.

PTSD
Click to expand...

I am not asking anyone to help me deal with this, Cookie. I'm well aware that no one here is equipped to offer professional advice. I also didn't ask for it. I just related an experience I had and wanted thoughts on it. That's all. I thank you for your thoughts, but I believe you have now over stepped yourself by expressing this same sentiment to me here and in PM. Now, please let it go.

Thank you.
 
Not me, but my son, James. :( He gets bullied by kids all the time, mostly for his deafness. Once he was kicked in the face at mcdonalds because he "wouldnt listen" although I told the children he was deaf. The kids in our neighborhood pick on him, steal his toys, hit him in the face, and vandalize our home because of his deafness. We stopped letting him play outside with these children, have confronted thier parents(who are just as ignorant as the children), and complained to the landlord.

Right now we are in the process of moving to our own house by his school, in attempt to live closer to more deaf children. Its so hard because the kids are spread out all over the place. :(

I get picked on online once in a while, thats the fun of the internet. You can block that person and forget they exist.

As for my son... I think Im kind of bad... I shelter him alot. The kids at first tried to say he did something, or didnt do something to him, found out that he and I can communicate through sign language... so then they just started physically harming him.

All I know is I want out of this disgusting neighborhood, the people who live here are freaks and thier kids are idiots.

GL in your endeavors.
katt.
 
Geeze, I'm sorry to hear what your son going thru with those bullies, it such a shame to see that...but I'm glad you are thinking of moving out of that town and getting your son in a different school might be for the best....

Give him a hug for me! :aw:
 
I beat up a girl at a gym class because she was making fun of this great girl who just moved from Shangai, China and didn't know much English.. I bloodied this bully's nose after she phsycially assaulted my new friend....

I beat up a boy when I was at older day care during the summer that I could not stay home by myself. this boy threw a rock at my eye and busted my eye. boy i was pissed off and went over and beat the shit out of the boy. broke his nose huge time, the principal had to call my dad to get me.

boy I never saw my dad that upset and very angry, I never did it again but he understood that I was angry because I was hit by a rock and was taken to see emergency room, dented part of my eyeball, I still carry the scar under my eyebrow... I squint towards sun today.. damn....I was bad tomboy kid.. but I had to defense people that I believe was wrong for bullies to bully them... now I just smart mouth them off (no hitting or punching) :Ohno:
 
Oceanbreeze ended a post above with the following:
"Anyway, LATELY, it dawned on me that I had been sexually harrassed. And, I don't know what to feel about it now. I guess I'm....numb?"

I made the word, "lately" capitalized just to submit a fleeting thought I had regarding this AND OB simply wanted our thoughts.

I don't intend for this to be a brushed-off, oversimplification, either and hope it will suffice: Oceanbreeze, you strike me as a well-balanced gal so I am gonna just simply say, perish the thought, flush it outta yer mind, it's water over the dam.

:cheers:
 
Tousi said:
Oceanbreeze ended a post above with the following:
"Anyway, LATELY, it dawned on me that I had been sexually harrassed. And, I don't know what to feel about it now. I guess I'm....numb?"

I made the word, "lately" capitalized just to submit a fleeting thought I had regarding this AND OB simply wanted our thoughts.

I don't intend for this to be a brushed-off, oversimplification, either and hope it will suffice: Oceanbreeze, you strike me as a well-balanced gal so I am gonna just simply say, perish the thought, flush it outta yer mind, it's water over the dam.

:cheers:
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Thank you, Tousi. :)
 
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Bullies can be spineless people that will not confront their issues head on, using other people to pass their bullying messages on and even worse adding fuel to the fire because it drags more people into the mess when the bully themselves could speak up in an appropiate manner.
 
Cookie Monster said:
Bullies can be spineless people that will not confront their issues head on, using other people to pass their bullying messages on and even worse adding fuel to the fire because it drags more people into the mess when the bully themselves could speak up in an appropiate manner.
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:werd: so True!!!
 
What should you do if your child is being bullied?

Victims of bullying often develop serious problems...They feel isolated...They have a hard time adjusting socially....Some can't control their anger. Research shows children who are bullied often have academic problems too...

Talk with your child and ask questions. If your child being bullied:

  • Tell your child he/she made the right decision to tell you about the bulling. Encourage your child to give you details.
  • Empathize with your child's feelings. Assure your child it's perfectly normal for her/him to feel sad, angry or embarrassed.
  • Find out if your child done anything to stop the bulling. Has she/he reported it to the teacher? Encourage your child to do so...
  • Guide your child in handling the bulling sitations. Tell her/him to walk away, and avoid or ignore the children who tease her/him. Suggest your child stand near an adult when possible
  • Help your child build new relationships. Find activities for her/him outside of school. where he/she can meet new friends. Invite new friends over after school.
  • If possible, volunteer for school activities such as play ground patrol or field trip chaperone.
  • Discuss the bulling problem with your child's teacher.
  • Don't confront the bully or the bully's family yourself.

Sources: What To Do About Bullying: Tips For Parents
 
Yes, it´s an exactly and important to consider children´s feeling...
 
I would like to have a few questions...

Is it bully when someone positive other's posts about their experience?

Is it bully when someone belittle, mock, accuse or negative other's posts?
 
Nobody ever pay attention to school-shooting, at least in my school. "Probably just another emo" bullies say.....
 
Liebling:-))) said:
I would like to have a few questions...

Is it bully when someone positive other's posts about their experience?
No
Is it bully when someone belittle, mock, accuse or negative other's posts?
Yes if it was done as a personal attack on the person.
Click to expand...

:)
 
Angel: Good tips about bullying. :ty:

I wasn't bullied, just teased sometimes, but not in a mean way I think. I had a guy on another forum who got my email and kept emailing me over and over and over. So I stopped posting on that forum. Now I don't give out my email, post pictures, or tell where I live.

I am sorry to read so many here were bullied.

Volcanbaru: Can you explain "emo"? I have seen this word before. My friends have explained it and I read the Wiki definition, but I don't think I understand it. Wikipedia says:

"Emo (pronounced /ˈiːmoʊ/) is a somewhat ambiguous slang[1] term most frequently used to describe or refer to a fashion, style[citation needed], or attitude linked to post-hardcore. Emo may also describe emo music or a general emotional state (as in to "feel emo"). It is also (sometimes pejoratively) used to identify someone who fits a particular emo stereotype or category or someone who is overly-emotional.[2][3][4] The term's definition is still the subject of debate, with some question as to whether it can even be defined."

Wikipedia says about "post-hardcore": "Post-hardcore is a musical genre that evolved from hardcore punk, itself an offshoot of the broader punk rock movement.

The earliest appearances of post-hardcore were in Washington, D.C. in the mid to late 1980s[1] (see the era's releases on Dischord Records, for example), though it was not widely known until the early 1990s.

Post-hardcore is typically characterized by its precise rhythms and loud guitar-based instrumentation accompanied by vocal performances that are often executed as whispers or screams."

Together it doesn't make much sense to me.
 
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