As A Parent, What will you do.....

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Angel

♥"Concrete Angel"♥
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As a parent, what will you do if your younger child want something at the store and you don't have enough money to buy it for your child, and then suddenly your child make a big fuss about it by screaming and hitting you in front of people that are at the store...How do you handle the situation with your child when your child behave badly at the store or about anywhere you go?....

Discuss it here nicely, but please respect others no matter if you disagree ;)
 
If it was my child, I would tell her/him that it is bad behavior to scream and hit in the store or anyplace, that we have to go home NOW. Even if I have things in my cart that I had not paid yet, I would leave it there and just go to the car with the child, take him/her home right away. Then ask my husband to keep child at home and I would tell the child I'm going back to the store. After I'm done paying for things in my cart, I would go home and have a good talk with the child that every time he or she acts like that, he will never get what he or she wanted that way. And explain that if I don't have enough money or if it is not the right time, I do have the right to say no because I'm the boss. I explain to my children that when we go shopping, it does not mean we are going to buy something for them every time. Sometimes I do have money to buy extra, but not always. My children sometimes ask if they can have something and I do buy sometimes but not always. They no longer act up in store because they know where they're going if they do.
 
It happened to every child they show their bad side, and throw in their temper tantrums. :giggle: I know it makes parents miserable. What I do is I say "no" and that's it, sometimes my boys get upset and angry and wanted it so bad but they have to earn it by doing good for themselves not wanting everything all the time. But, we cannot let the children know it bothered us that it makes us miserable that they are throwing a fist about our answers are no, because if you let the child runs you then the child will keep asking for things at the store all the time. They will get over it, they might be mad for a little bit, but if a child gets mad all through the day then maybe a time-out is needed to calm that child down.
 
Peachy Lady said:
If it was my child, I would tell her/him that it is bad behavior to scream and hit in the store or anyplace, that we have to go home NOW. Even if I have things in my cart that I had not paid yet, I would leave it there and just go to the car with the child, take him/her home right away. Then ask my husband to keep child at home and I would tell the child I'm going back to the store. After I'm done paying for things in my cart, I would go home and have a good talk with the child that every time he or she acts like that, he will never get what he or she wanted that way. And explain that if I don't have enough money or if it is not the right time, I do have the right to say no because I'm the boss. I explain to my children that when we go shopping, it does not mean we are going to buy something for them every time. Sometimes I do have money to buy extra, but not always. My children sometimes ask if they can have something and I do buy sometimes but not always. They no longer act up in store because they know where they're going if they do.
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That one of the good reason to do that too leave the store and go home and drop the kid off to the husband, But afraid it doesn't work for single mothers like myself :giggle: because they have nobody at home that is an adult to watch them while I shop. ;)
 
wow good thread.... I will give you tip when I am home from work. It's 4 minutes time then I will go home. :lol:
 
^Angel^ said:
As a parent, what will you do if your younger child want something at the store and you don't have enough money to buy it for your child, and then suddenly your child make a big fuss about it by screaming and hitting you in front of people that are at the store...How do you handle the situation with your child when your child behave badly at the store or about anywhere you go?....

Discuss it here nicely, but please respect others no matter if you disagree ;)
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It depends on age. If they were much younger, I would drop everything and head home.

But my girls are at the point where they understand that everything costs money. I simply tell them to look at price and figure out if it is expensive or worth getting. Lately they dont ask because I tell them I dont have money for such stuff.

My friend has a 4 year old daughter who demands stuff everytime they go to store. Before my friend goes into the store, she would say " We are going to the store to get this bread and milk period." So her daughter knows what to expect and cannot ask for items that are not on the shopping list.

It is very important to educate the kids at the same time so they can gain financial understanding as well.
 
I remember when my youngest was 3 and she was demanding a candy bar while I was waiting to pay for the purchase. I firmly said No but she went enraged and pulled down my shorts. Everyone saw my underwear. Talk about embarassment!!

I told the clerks I apologize for this but I cannot pay for this and must take my daughter home.

So I picked up my daughter and marched out of the store.

She never did that again.
 
Meg said:
It depends on age. If they were much younger, I would drop everything and head home.

But my girls are at the point where they understand that everything costs money. I simply tell them to look at price and figure out if it is expensive or worth getting. Lately they dont ask because I tell them I dont have money for such stuff.

My friend has a 4 year old daughter who demands stuff everytime they go to store. Before my friend goes into the store, she would say " We are going to the store to get this bread and milk period." So her daughter knows what to expect and cannot ask for items that are not on the shopping list.

It is very important to educate the kids at the same time so they can gain financial understanding as well.
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Yep I agree the older they get the more wiser they would understand financial. It includes helping them understand the positive and negative meanings of money for example some children would ask how much we make, and how much we spended on bills, foods and etc. and they will realized that there are times we cannot buy everything for them everytime we shop. My son Markus is aware of my income but Jordan is still little and don't understand that I have to use money to buy things, like one time he went to the candy section and picked out a candy and carried it with him, I told him that candy is not free that doesn't mean you can have it, you have to pay for it to have it, Sometimes I tell him money doesn't fall from trees that's why mommy works but that doesn't mean I have all the money for everything. :mrgreen:
 
My oldest does throw tantrums.,..I would drop everything and go home with him in tow. Sometimes I let him pick a toy and play with it while I go shopping, when approaching aisle, I take toy away and tell him we will come back other time and you will play with it again.

It is embarrassing when ur kid hits and screams... :Oops:
 
OMG Meggie, you poor girl :hug: that's must be sooooo embarrassing.. :lol: ...I'm sorry I didn't mean to laugh, it was just funni to just image what it must feel to be in your shoes....hahaha...

Yeah, It is soo embarrassing when my son hits and scream at me in the public where people are watching...Good Grief!

[Edit] you guys have great advices, I like most of your ideas too!! keep it coming ;)
 
I agree that when the kids are older, they will understand better that they can't always have what they want. This year we didn't need to drop everything and take children home because they now understand. Now I spend more time explaining to them why I can't always get what they want and that I myself don't always get what I wanted either. I also explain to them when I can get those things for her like in two weeks when my husband gets paid. Cheri, I realize now that it is hard to drop the cart when you're a single mother that you have no one to drop boys off at. I think this is a very good thread, Angel! :thumb: It gives all of us different ideas as how to handle children who acts up in store.
 
When they were small, I used to tell them I will come back again tomorrow if I don't have money with me. Usually they forgot very quickly!!

If its big and expensive they want badly, I will explain to them they will get it for their birthday/christmas (I will keep my word if they are talking about it all the time and I know it is what they really want).
 
I think that kids should know about $$, but parents have to be careful not to obsess over it. I remember listening to MANY late night arguements between my folks over $$. This is the main reason why I didn't start talking to my nieces about money until they were in HS. There's more to life than work and money.
 
Meg, your post is really funny. I laughed when I read your post.


I remember my children when they were toddlers... Oh my dear! They throw tantrums and stamp on the floor in the public of shopping centre. I know the toddlers dont understand why their parents say "No". I kept on explain them why etc. They are too stubborn so I am also stubborn, too. It makes them wild. All what I stand and watch my sons scream and stamp on the floor in the public and let people staring them. All what I do is stay hard and watch them long until they give up.... Its hard work to explain the children repeatly why they cant have it ... It belong parents's job to be patience and explain...

Until my 2 sons and I went to mothers and child cure home with other mothers and children for 3 weeks without husbands for the break. That's how we received many tips how it works to calm the children down etc.

The tips we received from physicans is working:

All what we (mothers or fathers) do is:

Explain/talk/remind to children in the house EVERYTIME before leave for shopping or anywhere is: Explain my children to not pick the things or touch things or scream in the public what they wants. Please accept it when I say no. Promise me to not do that. It WORKS! It would be problem if you forget to tell them before leave for shopping. Remind them all the time before leave for shopping or anywhere until they are older and use it.

When we were in shopping. My children look around the things and bring thing what they want. I remind them with impression look: Remember what I said. My children obeyed and put things back. If they talk to me about things are okay, not want to have it. They show me the things what they wants then I told them that I promise to get them for their birthdays, Easter & Xmas. If I cant promise anything then dont say word "promise" to them. If I know I can get then say promise to them. I always said to them: "I cant promise that you can have it or not" or I promise you will get it for your birthday etc.

I often show my children the price comparing of foods, etc when they are little. Now they knows how compare the prices with things in different stores.

My children received their pocket money from us every month to buy anything what they want and manage their money. They have their own account that they can learn to save up. If they want to improve their pocket money then help me with housework or garden work. It got my children mad sometimes because every stores cant sell DVD or volience games without parents's permission. My children do is run to me ask if they can buy or not. I check DVD or PC games and decide myself either it's okay or not. They know that I dont allow them to buy volience games.
 
Indeed Liebling:))) :hug:

I remembered when Jordan and Markus were the age of 2 they were far worst when it comes to shopping. they stomp their feet and throw tantrums. I had much a hard time, I had to carry them both out in the car because they laid on the floor flat on their back in the middle of the supermarket. :eek: I said to myself I am not going back there again. LOL! But, then after we got home I had a talk with each of them when they were the age of 2 and told them that I cannot go food shopping when you behaving this way embarrassing yourself like that just because I told you "no that you cannot get that." The next trip to the food market I told them each in the car we are going food shopping and that's only for food nothing else, If I hear one word about "I want this" We are going home without the foods. They still did pout but, did not stomped their feet or threw tantrums. ;)
 
When our kids were toddlers, my sister would NOT take them in the store. They were simply too little, and too much of a handful, so my Mother would watch them while my sister did her grocery shopping. Now, the kids are 3 & 4 years old. My sister made up a set of rules for the kids to follow, and every time my sister gets the kids outta the car, they recite their rules before everyone goes in. It seems the work. The kids know what Mommy and Daddy expect from them, and they are well behaved. My sister also tells them that if they behave themselves, they get a treat when they get home. Something along the lines of watching their favorite video or something. I can't say my sister never has a problem now, because, kids are kids. But, the kids know their limits, and they know the consequences of their bad behavior. They know that if they act bad in the store, they will have to spend time in their rooms when they get home.

This works for us! :)
 
:lol: I know what you mean, Cheri. I had been through out similar as you. :lol:

True, Oceanbreeze the kids cant be prefect as angel.... Kids is Kids.... :lol:

Oceanbreeze, you said in your post "Our kids were toddler......" do you mean that you has kids? If yes, how many?
 
Me wrong!

Hey, I used to think I know how to raise kids. I did try to take over somebody's two kids (That was 5 years ago)... Everything went wrong, and I didn't really understand what the fuck went wrong... Now, that I finally have my own child... I realize that my thinking was totally wrong and regretted that I screwed up this person. but because I have my own son, I learn to shut up about other person's kids! They know their kids more than I do, and I know my son than anyone else! Except my gf of course. Man! Its tough to deal with my son's temper tantrums. He's now 4 yrs old, and it helped me learn how to stay cool, despite of what my son's up to.

DHB
 
Are you referring to 3 yrs old kids should know about money? I think your outta of your mind! That is totally untrue! My son's only 4 yrs old, he do know what money is, but don't know how money works!!! He don't know the difference between one penny and hundred dollars! That is where the problem lies. When small kids see parent have cash, they tend to THINK that their parents really can afford without any problem.

DHB

ITPjohn said:
I think that kids should know about $$, but parents have to be careful not to obsess over it. I remember listening to MANY late night arguements between my folks over $$. This is the main reason why I didn't start talking to my nieces about money until they were in HS. There's more to life than work and money.
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