Are people usually willing to learn signs?

The exploration of "attraction" in a non speaking mode-realistic in todays' world?Apparently -"some" DEAF persons revert to "voice off". Does that suggest a "decrease of Potential partners"? Does our choices have consequences?

A side note: I can and do speak-been doing it for years.
 
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Wirelessly posted (Blackberry Bold )

Drphil - can you please explain what you mean by writing "DEAF" ie using all caps.

"deaf" (no capitlization) means audiological deafness (+80db).

If someone wants to clarify they (like myself, +120db) has no hearing at all, they say they're "totally deaf" or "completely deaf"

"Deaf" means one who is hoh or deaf and also part of the Deaf Community (uses Sign Language such as ASL / BSL etc).

Can you please explain what "DEAF" means?
 
DEAF to me: silence which I have been since December 20, 2006. Shifts the paradigm from "cultural" Sociology to actual/ physical-which it is.

My previous hearing aid didn't work afterwards which is why I started to process of getting a Cochlear Implant-fortunately successful-so far.

I am aware of the "verbal minefield" from reading comments here.
 
Wirelessly posted (Blackberry Bold )

I guess I just don't understand why you don't just use "deaf" which is the standard way to indicate what you are explaining - audiological deafness.
I'm just trying to figure out what the point of making it all caps is, since you're the only one who uses it, or knows what it means.

I mean this honestly, not critically or condescendingly.
 
Interesting- I have used capitals here for over a year now
. I don't perceive my DEAFNESS as "culture".
In the confirming audiogram- ENT St Michaels/Toronto- Jan/07-I did not hear anything at 105 db which was accepted by Sunnybrook/Toronto to start the process of determining if I "fit the criteria"-Feb/07. I did.

I was not retested by Sunnybrook
 
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A good idea might be to look in the Deaf community for a boyfriend.... I know SO MANY single Dhh dudes who are desperate for girlfriends.
 
Would the "pool of potential partners" be "restricted" by "interacting" only in the "local Deaf community"?
Presumably one goal met: use of ASL.
 
Wirelessly posted (Blackberry Bold )

Drphil
Being that most if not all of us who have decided to be involved in their Deaf Community and the Deaf world also interact on a basically daily in the Hearing world , no it wouldn't "restrict" us.

Most people choose to socialize in groups with common values - for you that's "singles dances" and "swimming", for those of us who like to be able to chat in ASL or meet partners who use ASL it makes sense that one would attend various events where ASL is prevalent.

An example totally unrelated to hoh/d/Deafness ... Say someone wanted to meet someone, but they hate dancing, loud noises and crowds etc, they'd look for friends and potential partners somewhere other than dances, bars, clubs and various other crowded, loud venues ;)


Its unfortunate that many hearing an non-culturally deaf people seem to think that people who are culturally Hoh/Deaf and belong to the ASL community "live" in this tiny world of just other ASLers and culturally Hoh/Deaf people. This is simply not the case at all .

These assumptions are often made because the observer doesn't know our language, and has read or observed a specific type of "ASL using deaf person" - typically someone who for one reason or another either doesn't have clear speech, or struggles with written English



Most of our families are hearing, many of our friends and co-workers are hearing. Our language and culturally identity doesn't keep us from the hearing world, rather it opens an additional world to us via ASL and Deaf Culture. It's about having more not less.
 
Anij: Does the discussion in this thread controvert your suppositions? Why "worry" that "most" hearing persons don't/won't learn ASL given that the Deaf community"is sufficient-social-wise"?


Is the " problem" the ongoing decrease of "members in the Deaf community"?

It seems an electronic device-Cochlear Implant does appear to have "some effect". on the current Deaf community numbers-correct?

Reading multiple comments here in AllDeaf.com is "interesting"-alleged self sufficient of the local Deaf community?

Again: if the local Deaf community sufficient source of "potential marriage partners"-why worry if hearing persons want to learn to sign-ASL?

Whether the above hypothesis can be adequately documented- is this a worth while exercise of one's time-- To what end?

To your quote #24- " I mean this honestly : not critically or condescendingly".

I have mentioned before- never attended Deaf school when younger. Reason wasn't DEAF then.
 
Interesting about the "limiting" of your community. Truth is we all do this in some way, limit who we socialize with by what bars we go to, our church, clubs we join etc.

I was talking with a Deaf friend of mine and he said that the local Deaf Club is dwindling in membership. All the older generation (who lived before all the instant technology of texting and skype and were REALLY cut off from others) still gather there, but the younger people tend to go out to bars, rather than hang out at the Deaf Club bar. My friend says that it's always the same people, same, same, same, so it's not all that fun. The older people like seeing all their old friends, but the young people can do that elsewhere.

Have other Deaf Clubs had this issue too? I'm very sentimental and nostalgic, even though I'm not connected to the Deaf Club, and I hate the thought of something that was so vital to the community just disappearing.
 
I think all relationships are about giving and taking, and if a hearing person won't learn ASL then it wouldn't be fair to the one that is Deaf. Also, I think the hearing person has to also understand that they take on additional responsibility to make sure that wherever they go to always include their partner if the majority are hearing. I think it's a lot of work on both sides. I would like to think if working together; anything is possible.

I think hearing people whether they know it or not, take "hearing" for granted, and the hearing world is quite noisy. There are sounds even when it's supposed to be quiet. there is no such thing as complete silence. When there is silence for a long time, it gets pretty unbearable almost to not being able to function. I think that's why in relationship with a Deaf person, they crave to hear them speak so that they can hear that they are there in addition to seeing them in front of them.

My Deaf friend spoke to me even though it didn't matter to me if she did or not. She told me that signing was easier for her. So, she taught me to sign. I appreciated that she tried to speak; hearing her confirmed that she understood what I was signing.

Anyway, I think in any relationship it takes 2 to make it work, and especially the hearing person has to learn ASL and incorporate it into their lives. If they are not willing to do this then I wouldn't stick around.
 
sparrow2 said:
I think all relationships are about giving and taking, and if a hearing person won't learn ASL then it wouldn't be fair to the one that is Deaf. Also, I think the hearing person has to also understand that they take on additional responsibility to make sure that wherever they go to always include their partner if the majority are hearing. I think it's a lot of work on both sides. I would like to think if working together; anything is possible.

I think hearing people whether they know it or not, take "hearing" for granted, and the hearing world is quite noisy. There are sounds even when it's supposed to be quiet. there is no such thing as complete silence. When there is silence for a long time, it gets pretty unbearable almost to not being able to function. I think that's why in relationship with a Deaf person, they crave to hear them speak so that they can hear that they are there in addition to seeing them in front of them.

My Deaf friend spoke to me even though it didn't matter to me if she did or not. She told me that signing was easier for her. So, she taught me to sign. I appreciated that she tried to speak; hearing her confirmed that she understood what I was signing.

Anyway, I think in any relationship it takes 2 to make it work, and especially the hearing person has to learn ASL and incorporate it into their lives. If they are not willing to do this then I wouldn't stick around.
Click to expand...



:wave:


I completely agree with you, it takes 2 to make any relationship work no matter if its :deaf: Deaf/hearing, hearing/hearing, English/foreign language, disabled/not-disabled, older/younger,local/long-distance....it doesn't matter both partners have to be willing to put forth 100% b/c relationships are not 50/50 like most people believe they are actually 100/100 b/c in order to be with someone you have to give that person your all and they have to give you their all.

I am a hearing single mother....I'm not specifically looking for a Deaf or HoH guy but since I do know a little sign and have had :deaf: Deaf boyfriend in the past, I thought I would explore this route since I am also exploring all other scenes that relate to things I'm interested in or have a connection with, such as but not limited to single parent dating sites, local NC dating sites, regular dating site, and more.....

I personally am interested in improving my ASL on my own, I plan on attending college this fall and getting my Associate Degree in Art for Writing and doing all of my Electives as ASL classes. B/C from what I understand, in NC you don't have to have a degree to be an interpreter you just have to pass the state certification exam.

Well, I reckon that is all I have to say for now....

*BTW-my former boyfriend who was :deaf: Deaf, only used ASL and lipreading, he didn't speak at all and didn't have any hearing aids at all, and we got along just fine, granted we were in high school and he attended a school for the :deaf: deaf so we only saw each other on weekends and holidays, but that doesn't matter b/c when we were together there was no issue, b/c yeah I was willing and actively learning ASL.

:ty: :wave:
 
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