Another poem for my Twin Angels!

Awauphi

Awauphi

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I wrote another poem to honor my twin angels. they would have been 10 today ..


Happy 10th Heavenly Birthday to my Twin Angels!!


I can't believe that it has been 10 years
since I gave birth to you two.
What should have been the happiest day
in my life turned out to be the HARDEST one!!

I am sure that the angels are
having a wonderful party for you -
and if your anything like your brother
your faces are covered in cake by now -
and if your anything like your momma
that cake is CHOCOLATE!!!!!! LOL sighs..

Little angels, I never got to hold you in my arms,
but will hold you two in our hearts forever.
Just know our love goes deep and strong.
I'll forget you two never.
The children I had, but never had,
And yet will have forever.


Happy Birthday, my precious babies..

Love,
your Momma
Ginger


Joseph Raine and Alan Gearald R.
Born alive and died, born silently
into this world and into the arm of Angels!
October 6, 1995
 
Your poem is so beautiful i read and read again today. I never forget about this. I can feel that you missed your Twin Angels so much.
 
That's the saddness poem I've read, What happened to your twins, If you don't mind me asking? :(
 
that sad and gave me goosebump! what happen, if you not want to, its ok! my son b-day is on oct 1.
 
sure here is what happened with my twin boys.. it was 1995- Friday oct 4th I was 5 1/2 months preggy with them when my water broke. I was at work (i was a cook) putting stuffs up and my sister came in told me that i have an order. so i got up and walked out of the cooler then all of a sudden i could feel warm water rushing out down there. I peed in my pant? ugh.. so i went to use the bathroom- i peed.. i was like ok that is definitely weird but didnt think nothing of it.. so i got up and was going to pull pant back on but realize i could feel more water coming down.. i walked to my sis and told her i think my water broke. She said ok go to DR which i did.. dr didnt know what to do cuz too early? he sent me to UAMS in Little Rock. they suggested to me that aborting the babies are best way cuz they will not make it as its too early? but if they were born.. only 30% chance being able to live but will have alot of problems. I refused to abort them and was hoping to hold them till 7 months.. but it didnt work that way as i went in labor 2 days later on oct 6th and gave birth to them. Joseph was born alive but died 10 mins later as his lungs werent developed.. and Alan was born a stillborn. sighs.. I still remmy their faces and their smell.. I will never forget them.. as long as I live.. They r part of me, you know? sighs.. :(

I too lost my daughter Summer Leigh. on Friday, Sept 6th- I was 5 months preggy with her when i felt crampy and thought I might need to use the powder room which i did. I thought i need to go poo but instead it was water that rushed out. I was like oh no.. I knew then the water is broke. I had to hurry and told mom my water broke so my nephew jeremy took me to the hospital in Conway. The nurse didnt think my water broke. i told her I know what happened cuz it happened to me before with my twins. she said OH. she checked me out and said ok u are right your water definitely broke. I told her I TOLD YOU SO. ugh.. she was rude! anyway finally was checked by a dr and he said i have UTI. thats what caused me to go in preterm labor. Next day the nurse said i gotta check the babys heartbeat. I told her u wont get chance to hear the baby. she said i will see.. she tried all over but kept saying she is hiding. i said no.. shes gone. she didnt believe me.. jeez. till another nurse who i know as she was my childhood playmate came in and talked to me asking if im ok etc.. i told her about the nurse kept t hinking baby is playing game and i know the baby is dead. she said are u sure? i asid yes cuz havent felt her move since that morning. she said why dont i bring ultrasound machine to confirm it, ok? i said be my guest. she did and sure enough there is no heartbeat. she said ok i will tell the dr about this. ok? she said all can do is give birth which i knew i will have to. Eventually Summer was born early Sunday morning on sept 8th. So losing the babies were hard on me and continue to this day. :(

I know TJ will never replace those babies i lost but I thank God for bringing Tj in my life. He is my joy ! I am now since then tied and will not have more kids due to problems carrying baby to term. sighs.. I know I will see them one day in the heaven.. They are up there watching over me and TJ.. :)
 
I had tears in my eyes when I was reading your poem and story. I am so sorry that it happened to you. May you continue with your strength to keep yourself going :hug:
 
Awww I am so sorry that you went through a rough time with twins and Summer. :( :hug:

The poem is so beautiful!!! You sure bring my tears down!!!

A lot of :hug:
 
you surely gone hard way in life. I'm sure its hardest for you to survive through those 3 babies. I'm glad that ur TJ bring you to live. I'm glad that ur going through alots of struggles those years. :hug: from me
 
Awwww, You made me have tears when reading your story about your twins, I'm sorry that it had to happened that way :( I know it is the hardest part living life without your children. :hug:
 
thanks guys.. :grouphug: people said enough and move on already but they dont know what its like going thru losing babies? its really hard but i have to go on living and talk about them .. i dont care if people think im weird but counselor said its good to talk about them instead of bottling it up and pretend nothing happened?? :tears:

i forgot to mention that i almost lost tj too.. I went in preterm labor with TJ when i was 6 1/2 months pregnant due to bladder infection but lucky with antibiotics and bed rest. no work, no walking and etc but strict bed rest.. i was able to carry TJ to 35 weeks and gave birth to him.. 7 lbs and 3 oz. Hes very lucky boy! Even tho hes not perfect as he have Sensory integration disorder. I am happy to have him in my life but he will never replace others. sighs.

off the topic: TJ's dog Scrappy died last summer. He told me something.. momma.. u know what? i said no honey what? he said my brothers and my sister are taking care of scrappy then he burst in tears .. i said yes honey they are watching him for you till u come home to heaven. he cried and cried.. but felt better knowing scrappy is taken good care of.. poor TJ.. :tears:
 
(sniffs) its a sad.. its very good for you to reveal and ur are not ashamed. And you tell and let people know that u do loves ur own children. I know its hard. Do you have trouble birth with babies in genetic? I don't mean to say that. You got lucky to have TJ, and i know what is sensory intergration. He is lucky to have be on earth. I'm so glad that you didn't give up ur journey of life. Poor scrappy, yeah its nice of him saying that. You surely a strong person.
 
Aw I'm really sorry to hear about your twins, and it's really sad reading your story and poem :(


:hug:
 
Now, I've got to cry with you, Lucky.. once again. I feel for ya, girl. :hug: I have no clue what its like to lose a baby but I sure do feel for you! :ily:
 
SherryCherish said:
(sniffs) its a sad.. its very good for you to reveal and ur are not ashamed. And you tell and let people know that u do loves ur own children. I know its hard. Do you have trouble birth with babies in genetic? I don't mean to say that. You got lucky to have TJ, and i know what is sensory intergration. He is lucky to have be on earth. I'm so glad that you didn't give up ur journey of life. Poor scrappy, yeah its nice of him saying that. You surely a strong person.
Click to expand...

you are right. i love them as they were my children. my own flesh n blood.

no dont worry my feeling is not hurt .. its not genetic.. its just that im prone to UTI and bladder infections. I have kidney plms. its a high risk for pregnant ladies that can lead to preterm labor. like in my case, thats why.. i forgot to mention that i had UTI with twins that lead to charioamniotics- the inflammation of the membranes that cover the baby.

:ily: too and hugs rebel.. :) thanks for the support.. u dont know how that mean to me.. really.. alots.. :)
 
I had a miscarriage too, and I know how you feel, I cried for several weeks and as today I still think of my baby, even I don't know the sex since I was only 3 month pregnant...but I remember that day and watching my baby through a small TV screen when I had an untrasounds, seeing my baby's heartbeat and was told everything was fine, until I was about to leave the hospital, alot of blood just came out, and the doctor made me stay overnight to see if the bleeding would end, but the next morning I had another untrasound and found out the heartbeat stopped, it was too late..so I had to have a surgery to removed the baby, it was really hard on me, cause I never experiences of losing a baby that just live inside me and suddenly it's gone, just like that....


Now I know the real feelings what it like to lose a baby or a child ...Hang in there sweetie, :hug:
 
I am here to share my emotions with her. It's hardest because I have very sensitive. I cried few times here since... I remember she brought me to cooler I wonder what was it like. To listen her is important and understand I want to be part of her. I always hold her feelings... :ily:
 
starrygaze.. that wasnt the cooler at my sister's work.. it was other place called Blue Bonnett where i worked for 9 yrs. not Cedar Lounge, ok? I am sorry you misunderstood me. You must have dreamed or forgot about it? sighs.

Aww Angel.. :( :hug: i am sorry for your loss. my sister did went thru the same thing as you did .. she was 3 months then. She was bleeding. dr said must stay in bed to stop bleeding but it kept getting worse so she went to hospital. they did the ultrasound. they said that they dont see the heartbeat so they had to do the d & c on my sister. She too didnt know the sex of the baby. She was devastated about it. :( :hug: again.. sighs..

Edit: I forgot to add that I lost Summer in 2002 in case anyone is wondering .. ok.. sighs..
 
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