Adjustment to late onset deafness

FxAvatar said:
So, I am not sure how to ask, but has anyone that was hearing and in college, or a full career ever find themselves out of a job due to hearing loss?..
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That would be partially the case for me. My work was mainly telephone related for a small office of a 501c3 not for profit agency. Since there were only 9 employees ADA did not come into play. I am unalbe to work now, even after moving to first a different city, then to a different state, due to hearing loss and neuralgia. (total numbness on the right side of body. I can't stand or sit for periods for longer than 5-10 minutes. I have to move constantly or I fall or slide off whatever I am sitting on. I do all my typing one handedly and it's not even my dominate had. I am able to do some sign, and will do more as I learn and the numbness does not affect that since I do not have to touch or hold anything. When typing I can't feel the keys with the numb hand and I have broken too many keyboards just by typing too hard. (Cooking is a riot!:laugh2:)

So I lost the last job I had due to hearing loss, but can't find a new job due to the neuralgia and hearing loss combined.
 
dogmom said:
:ty:FXAvatar - like you am VERY visual learner, visual-tactile. But I was diagnosed w/LD til college, and continually failing remedial college math, still having difficulty reading clocks, etc.

When I was in college I did have DVR <Voc.Rehab> services. They assisted w/funds for books and post-co
llege initial job search and prep. They paid for LD testing also. The testing results and the advocacy of Disabled Student Services Center at university helped me get accommodations for classes.
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Mmm. It took me a long time to learn to tell time. I still have trouble reading clocks;I find digtial clocks much easier to read than the kind that have the classic clock face. However, I do not find digtial clocks very pleasing to look at so I have the other kind. I'm not very good with math though I've always excelled at Art.

Like you, I'm a visual-tactile learner.
 
deafskeptic said:
Mmm. It took me a long time to learn to tell time. I still have trouble reading clocks;I find digtial clocks much easier to read than the kind that have the classic clock face. However, I do not find digtial clocks very pleasing to look at so I have the other kind. I'm not very good with math though I've always excelled at Art.

Like you, I'm a visual-tactile learner.
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I have digital clocks and my watch is digital too. It's the only way I can tell time!
 
Bottesini said:
I have digital clocks and my watch is digital too. It's the only way I can tell time!
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Well, I have to say I am lucky that I have no issue with clocks (other then hitting the snooze too many times). I have no issues with analog (ones with the hands), digital (my morning alarm clock) or Binary (my inner geek is showing here). For me, it is more of issues locking my vision onto the clocks, my vision sometimes splits and it is like holding a 2lb weight all day to lock focus. This is normally fixed by a few minutes with a ink pen to get my vision to sync. I typically don't notice it unless I am tired..
 
Just thought I would tell everybody, I had emailed the local, Palm Beach County Association of the Deaf regarding anything they had that would help me. Well, I got an email today: They are having a captioned movie with a deaf social and admission is only $3 with free popcorn and soda or water. The lady who sent me the email thought this would be a good way to "get me in the door" and start meeting new deaf people in the area. She has already mentioned my problem (trouble learning ASL) to a bunch of regulars and they will be looking for me and are willing to help. My son is going as well, since he is becoming real protective of me in social situations lately.

FX: I have been on this journey for 3 years and it looks like some doors are finally opening other than those on the internet. AllDeaf has been a lifesaver for me more times than I can count. Keep up with AD so you don't lose your mind trying to find help and resources.
 
KristinaB said:
Just thought I would tell everybody, I had emailed the local, Palm Beach County Association of the Deaf regarding anything they had that would help me. Well, I got an email today: They are having a captioned movie with a deaf social and admission is only $3 with free popcorn and soda or water. The lady who sent me the email thought this would be a good way to "get me in the door" and start meeting new deaf people in the area. She has already mentioned my problem (trouble learning ASL) to a bunch of regulars and they will be looking for me and are willing to help. My son is going as well, since he is becoming real protective of me in social situations lately.

FX: I have been on this journey for 3 years and it looks like some doors are finally opening other than those on the internet. AllDeaf has been a lifesaver for me more times than I can count. Keep up with AD so you don't lose your mind trying to find help and resources.
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Will do. I too have taken steps to find locals. I found a sign study group in my local area that are meeting next weekend (have been signed up for a while, just waiting to meet them). I am dragging my 2 best friends along with me since I am also kinda shy. I figure meeting some of the ASL students and those that use ASL in daily life will help boost my courage when it comes to learning the language.
 
FxAvatar said:
Will do. I too have taken steps to find locals. I found a sign study group in my local area that are meeting next weekend (have been signed up for a while, just waiting to meet them). I am dragging my 2 best friends along with me since I am also kinda shy. I figure meeting some of the ASL students and those that use ASL in daily life will help boost my courage when it comes to learning the language.
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My son has decided to be my bodyguard and will go with me for the movie tonight. Even though the family is not interested in learning ASL with me, they are over-protective of me. I too am very shy, more so since this happened, but then once I meet people and open up at little, I sometimes can't shut up. The movie is "The Taking of Pelham 123".

Once I can pay the membership fee, then I will be able to go to the deaf social each Tuesday.
 
Hi there.

I come from a family that is HOH, so mine is hereditary. However, I had great hearing until the age of 30, when very suddenly my hearing started to decline. I can hear background noises seemingly fine, can even hear music, but speech ranges are almost gone. It's very frustrating to me that I can't understand what someone is saying when it wasn't too long ago that I would have been able to do so.

I always hoped that the hearing loss would skip me. It skipped my mother, though it seems that she's lost a little now that I think about it. My aunt is profoundly deaf, from the same genetic issue. My youngest brother is deaf as well, but my older younger brother (I have two younger brothers) hasn't had any loss as of yet. I have two young cousins who are profoundly deaf.

I'm very scared right now because the hearing loss happened to me so suddenly and is rapidly declining. I'm learning ASL, (thankfully my Partner was once an ASL interpreter and is teaching me), but I feel that I don't really fit into the hearing culture anymore, and am terrified that I won't fit in well with the deaf culture either.

Wow. What a way to introduce myself! :wave:
 
hi FX and all, including suitemindcrime :wave:

sorry I am late FX in responding to your longer post/reply with ques. about my husband and his going to school....been really hectic here!
Hubby reads lips some and at the time his hearing loss was less profound, enough to affect his success at attendance w/o HA's. His major was CIS/programming and he's always been really bright with that, VERY techie, excellent mechanically, etc., and had a lot of experience with that prior to going to college so he was able to use that to help him. When I was diagnosed w/LD he and I had been going out for a few months. I went through Disabled Student Services to get diagnosis and told him about it. He was having some difficulty w/his other major and he ended up getting notetakers for that and later for some of his very advanced classes. His first job out of college, the employer purchased HA's for him so he could use phone. Since then he has also done security, network admin., etc. also can do electronics, some engineering things - says he woulda got degree in engineering had he been wiser.


suitemindcrime,

am in my 30's and started losing my hearing a couple years ago now. My mother has hearing loss but she is in her 70's and hers seems to have started very recently. Had an aunt who was deaf but I don't know anything beyond that; I was born premature at 6 months and had lots of colds, have allergies etc. I had delayed speech and language issues.
I was somewhat familiar w/some aspects of Deaf community because in college I worked w/Deaf kids and staff in recreational Summer program and learned some ASL, took ASL class in college by hearing man.....but then graduated from school and went into Social Work. Used what little I knew on occasion w/clerks, etc., went to Deaf festival one time. About 4 or so years ago now I saw ad for ASL class posted at my health food co-op and emailed person and started learning ASL again. My teacher is Deaf. Have become more involved in Deaf community and have been to Deaf social. Husband and I use some home signs here and there but he is shy to sign in public, raised oral, no contact w/Deaf people. He was adopted. Has "Rubella
syndrome". Has some emotional bagged about childhood things.

My experience has been, that as I am open to learning ASL and see Deaf culture as quite significant, and don't perceive hearing or speech as being better, the reception from Deaf community here has been very positive.
:)
 
dogmom said:
hi FX and all, including suitemindcrime :wave:

sorry I am late FX in responding to your longer post/reply with ques. about my husband and his going to school....been really hectic here!
Hubby reads lips some and at the time his hearing loss was less profound, enough to affect his success at attendance w/o HA's. His major was CIS/programming and he's always been really bright with that, VERY techie, excellent mechanically, etc., and had a lot of experience with that prior to going to college so he was able to use that to help him. When I was diagnosed w/LD he and I had been going out for a few months. I went through Disabled Student Services to get diagnosis and told him about it. He was having some difficulty w/his other major and he ended up getting notetakers for that and later for some of his very advanced classes. His first job out of college, the employer purchased HA's for him so he could use phone. Since then he has also done security, network admin., etc. also can do electronics, some engineering things - says he woulda got degree in engineering had he been wiser.
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That is great that he was able to get through most of his school without the need for much assistance. This is where I find myself. My thought is to get back to school while I still can make out what the teacher is saying. I doubt lectures will be a issue, but I have a feeling labs will be a pain since group gatherings are just this side of impossible for me to keep track of what people are saying (though I try and read lips, I suck at it).

dogmom said:
I was somewhat familiar w/some aspects of Deaf community because in college I worked w/Deaf kids and staff in recreational Summer program and learned some ASL, took ASL class in college by hearing man.....but then graduated from school and went into Social Work.
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Ok, I do have a question on this. I was talking to my friend last night and she is a Social Worker and a foster parent. She was telling me that I would make a good foster parent. Despite my disagreement, she seemed very adamant about it. Since that conversation was semi-linked to why she was not going with me to the D/deaf – Hearing mixer this coming weekend (she has a class needed for foster care), I asked her how often she ran into kids that sign or what kind of need did she see for bilingual/ASL based foster parents and she said TONS. My friend said that by the time I get my degree, I will have been in school for 4-5 years, If I work on my ASL during those years, get in with the Deaf community ect, that I could look to help the young HoH or deaf children that need a home even more since I would have a basic understanding of sign.
I was wondering by your comment above it seemed that you lost contact with ASL based communication when you entered social work (if I am reading that right). I would think that a social worker that has SOME form of sign skills would be linked to the kids that would have that need. Not saying I know how the social services system works, but I would think that those Social workers or foster parents that speak French would be flagged as preferred when a French speaking kid is placed in the system.
 
yes, FX, you are correct; initially after college I was doing social services-type stuff working w/senior center, with elderly clients w/dementia of different kinds - no ASL there, although my cultural background as Jewish did help there as it was jewish senior center program. Then I did Case Management work with people with cognitive disabilities, on the "severe" end of autism spectrum, CP, dual-diagnosis, etc. and I didn't happen to have any clients who used ASL or a signed language or a MCE system, although my very rudimentary knowledge of ASL/some Deaf Culture, as well as my having LD myself, did help in acquiring the job and in relation to the LD, in the doing of the job also - AND because of nature of agency, people were very understanding of my LD and any accommodations. My Spanish language skill - especially at that time,when it was fresher in my mind - also was helpful in getting case management position - although I did not happen to have any clients who knew/used Spanish, another case worker did and I suppose if I had stayed there longer, or if my caseload had increased, I may have had some opportunity to use the Spanish. But I think in general having knowledge of languages/cultures besides one's own, having cultural awareness and openess to other cultures around one, was important then and probably even more so today. <the years we're discussing here are from about '93 to around '97/'98>.
 
@dogmom
ya, I figured that they would track what languages each SW knows and then link to them as kids came in. Maybe that is wishful thinking, and it is more like the DMV.. "you are number 64B.. whoever draws that number will be who you get.. ".
As a side note, I have been watching as I go around town now for ANYONE signing.. and noted A.. nobody I have see has used sign.. (where are they all hiding?) and B.. wow, people really do make a lot of random gestures when they talk..
Am I missing some kinda secret hand shake or type of symbol on a poster/wall/sign that means Signer's welcome here?.. :scratch:
 
:hmm: I don't know, I run into people signing fairly often.
I think social services is one of those fields which lends itself well to utilizing the language abilities of the employees, even if that wasn't originally part of the job, or why the employee applied for the job.
And yes, in general many people do use gestures in communication; I tend to be very gestural-tactile. I also tend to key into other's body language and get "feelings", possibly partly because I work a lot with dogs whose language is non-verbal.
 
I visited my parents today at the assisted-living center, and they were pleased as punch. I also took the time to pay my respects to an antiquarian lady there by the name of Marge. She is completely oral and up to now had insisted on lipreading with no signing. This was the tenth time I talked with her, and it looks like she can giggle and laugh after all, hehe. I kept joking with her and she has a smile that would melt anybody's heart. I said that she HAD insisted on lipreading only, but today she actually signed a few things to me, and asked me which book on sign language would be best. I told her that I would give her my old book The Joy of Signing, and she was so thrilled with that bit of news. Poor Marge, though---she confessed to feeling lonely and rejected and said she is making more of an effort to talk with others at the center. I am looking forward to seeing her again when I see my parents again next week. :)
 
I've discovered a coffee place near my house where Deaf people just seem to flock to. Never thought I'd get so lucky, especially living in what feels like the middle of nowhere.
 
Ok, I am on cloud nine right now. :D I just got back from my first meetup with the hearing/HoH/deaf social in my local area. I can’t express in words right now how I am feeling.. It was so wonderful to meet and to see so many people signing! I just wish I could have stayed longer. Even though I was barely able to keep up with most of the signing (and some even less, I was only getting maybe one or two words at the rate some of them are going at it). My friend and I went and were surprised at the amount of people that showed up! The organizer of the social was really nice and came over to our table and was able to hear and sign, so he acted as a tutor and corrected me as I stumbled along with attempting to sign to the other person at our table. The gentleman that was at our table was born deaf, had a deaf father, and was raised with ASL. Everyone was nice and did not mind as I watched and tried to pickup what they signed. The organizer even gave me his email address so that if I wanted to practice, we could video-chat.

I will be going to the next one next month without a doubt, and this reinforced my resolve to take a signing class next semester even if it puts a strain on other things.
 
FX:
That sounds great. I know I also had a great reception at the deaf social I went to. Everyone was fantastic. Luckily, the one I go to meets every Tuesday during the day. From 9-3.
 
Not sure if this is normal or not. Lately, hubby and I have been having problems and as I think about it so does the rest of family. It seems that since I have lost all my hearing and I have now been without it for a little over 3 years, I am not making sense when I talk (I guess :hmm:).

I was trying to have a small conversation with hubby this am, but he didn't understand what I was trying to say. Needless to say, little hot-headed me snapped back and took offense. When I write things out in a note, it makes more sense to him (and he has problems reading).

In light of all these issues, hearing loss, financial, living with mother-in-law and raising 2 teens, I still try to find the positive in all thinks. Hubby only thinks of the negative and that really brings me down and starts the anger and frustration.

Any ideas?
 
KristinaB said:
Not sure if this is normal or not. Lately, hubby and I have been having problems and as I think about it so does the rest of family. It seems that since I have lost all my hearing and I have now been without it for a little over 3 years, I am not making sense when I talk (I guess :hmm:).

I was trying to have a small conversation with hubby this am, but he didn't understand what I was trying to say. Needless to say, little hot-headed me snapped back and took offense. When I write things out in a note, it makes more sense to him (and he has problems reading).

In light of all these issues, hearing loss, financial, living with mother-in-law and raising 2 teens, I still try to find the positive in all thinks. Hubby only thinks of the negative and that really brings me down and starts the anger and frustration.

Any ideas?
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Counseling. He should sign a little . It will make it easier for him.
 
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