6 Little Behavior Problems You Shouldn't Ignore...

[Angel]

Here are six misbehaviors you may be tempted to overlook and how to put an end to them pronto.

1. Interrupting when you're talking

Your child may be incredibly excited to tell you something or ask a question, but allowing her/him to butt in to your conversations doesn't teach your child how to be considerate of others or occupy her/himself when you're busy. " As a result, your child will think that she/he's entitled to other people's attention and won't be able to tolerate frustration " says psychologist Jerry Wyckoff, Ph. D coauthor of Getting Your Child From No to Yes...

How to stop it:

The next time you're able to makea call or visit with a friend, tell your child that she/he needs to be quiet and not interrupt you. Then settle your child into an activity or let your child play with a special toy that you keep tucked away. If your child tugs on your am while you're talking, point to a chair or stair and tell her/him quietly to sit there until you're finished. Afterward, let your child know that she/he won't get what she/he's asking for when she/he interrupts you...


2. Playing TOO Rough

You know that you have to step in when your child punches a playmate, but you shouldn't disregard more subtle aggressive acts, like shoving his/her brotheror pinching a friend " If you don't intervene, rough behavior can become an entrenched habbit by age 8. Plus it sends a message that hurting people is acceptable " says Michele Borba Ed. D author of Don't Give Me That Attitude!


How to stop it

Confront aggressive behavior on the spot. Pull your child aside and tell him/her " That hurt Janey, How would it feel if she did that to you? " Let him know that any action tht hurts another person is not allowed. Before his/her next playmate, remind your child that he/she shouldn't play rough, and help your child practice what he/she can say if he/she gets angry or wants a turn. If your child does it again, END the playdate.


3. Pretending Not To Hear You

Telling your child two, three, even four times to do something he/she doesn't want to do, such as get into the car or pick up her/his toys, send the message that it's okay to disregard you and that she/he not you is running the show. " Reminding your child again and again just trains her/him to wait for the next reminder rather than to pay attention to you the first time you tell her/him something" say psychologist Kevin Leman, Ph. D author of First Grade " Tuning you out is a power play and if you allow the behavior to continue, your child is likely to become defiant and controlling ".


How to stop

Instead of talking to your child from across the room, walk over to her/him and tell your child what he/she needs to do. Have your child look at you when you're speaking and respond by saying " Okay Mommy. " Touching her/him shoulder saying her/his name and turning off the TV can also help get her/his attention. If your child doesn't get moving, impose a consequence.

When 6 years old Jack Lepkowski of Ossining, New York stated practicing " selective hearing ", his parent decided to take action. They told him that if they had to ask him to do something more than once, such as come to dinner or take a bath, he would get to watch only one video that day ( his usual allotment is two ) or he'd miss a playdate that week. If they had to remind him twice, he would lose two videos or two playdates. " I try not to give in because otherwise his selective hearing will continue" say his mother Lydia " This tactic seems to be working! "


LET IT GO! You don't need to deal with every difficult behavior right away. Here are scenarios where it's okay to relax the rules.

Situation-- You're stressed after a long day and your 5 years old won't stop tossing a throw pillow up in the air.

Solution-- Avoid disciplining your child when you're likely to overreact. Put the pillow in a closet and pull out a puzzle.



Situation-- Your 2 years old refuses to let her 4 years old cousin hold her pop-up book, Now both kids are crying

Solution-- It's normal for 2 years olds to resist sharing. Find your nephew another fun book to look at, and leave it at that.



Situation--Your 4 yeas old is home sick from schol and when you ask if she'd like some juice, she snaps " NO! "

Solution Shrug it off this time because she isn't feeling well, but be on the lookout for a rude attitude in the future and address it on the spot.


Situation-- Your 6 years old's friend says that your son cheated in a game, but your son denies it and you didn't see what happened.

Solution-- Don't reprimand him if you're not sure he did something wrong. Review the rules with both kids, or sugest to different activity.


Parents Magazine

 

[Cheri]

I agree with the 6-step processing how to help a child with their behavior. If parent likely to let the child runs it's course then the child is likely going to become even worst won't even listen to others, or play nicely with other children at school. Which that is why it is very important for parent to deal with the negative now then later.


I know raising a child is not a pieces of cake that some thinks, It's hard work even if parents step on the plate.

 

[Angel]

( Forgive me Aders, I forgot to add the other 3 steps )



4. Helping him/herself to a treat --

It's certainly convenient when your child can get his/her own snack or pop in a DVD, but letting your child have control of activities that you should regulate doesn't teach him/her that your child has to follow rules. " It may be cute when your 2 years old walks along the counter to get the cookie out of the cabinet, but lives three blocks away without asking ". Dr Wyckoff says.


How to stop it

Establish a small number of house rules, and talk about them with your child often ( " You have to ask whether you can have sweets because that's the rule " ) . If your child turns on the TV without permission, for instance, tell him/her to turn it off and say> " you need to ask me before you can turn on the television" Stating the rule out loud will help your child internailize it.

When 3 years old Sloan Ibanez took some markers without asking and colored one of her arms completely yellow, her mom, Tanzy told her that she couldn't help with painting a garge sale sign later that afternoon. " She cried, but I knew I had to nip this in the bud or else I'd pay the price later because she'd do it again" say Ilbanez


5. Having A Little Attitude --

You may not think your child is going to roll her/his eyes or use a snippy tone until your child's a preteen, but sassy behavior often starts when preschoolers mimic older kids to test their parent's reaction/ " Some parents ignore it because they think it's passing phase, but if you don't confront it, you may find yourself with a disrespectful third grader who has a hard time making and keeping friends and getting along with teachers and other adult" Dr Borba says.


How to stop it

Make your child aware of her/his behavior. Tell your child, for example " When you roll your eyes like that, it seems as if you don't like what I'm saying " The idea isn't to make your child feel bad but to show her/him how your child looks or sounds. If the behavior continues, you can refuse to interact and walk away say " My ears don't hear you when you speak to me that way . When you're ready to talk nicely, I'll listen " .


6. Exaggerating The Truth --

It may not seem like a big deal if your child says he/she made his/her bed when he/she barely pulled up the covers, or if he/she tells a friend that he/she's been to Walt Disney World when he's never even been on a plane, but it's important to confront any type of dishonestly head-on . " Lying can become automatic if your child learns that it's an easy way to make him/herself look better, to avoid doing something that your child doesn't want to do or to prevent getting into trouble for something he/she's already done. " Dr. Wyckoff says.


How to stop it

When your child fibs, sit down with him/her and set the record straight. Say, " It would be fun to go to Disney World, and maybe we can go some day, but you shouldn't tell your friend that you've been there when you really haven't ". Let him/her know that if your child doesn't always tell the truth, people won't believe what she/he says. Look at his/her motivation for lying and make sure your child doesn't achieve his/her goal.

For example: if he said that he brushed his teeth when he didn't , have him go back and brush them.

When 5 years old Sophia started scretching the truth, her mom , Christine told her the story of " The Boy Who Cried Wolf" in which a boy who'd been lying cries for help for real and people ignore him . Storytelling helps kids view problem from the outside . " Now Sophia's very straight-forward with me and she's very self-righteous if I don't believe her" .


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