2028 headlines

Chase

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This joke usually its rounds in each new year, and we've been discussing some of these topics . . .

Newspaper headlines in 2028:

Ozone from electric cars now killing millions in seventh largest country, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

Radical white minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off. Physicists estimate 20 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after take-over by Jamaica. No country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112. Cuban cigars now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton bans all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for president in 2036.

Postal Service raises first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Florexico.

Japanese scientists create camera shutter speed so fast it can photograph a woman with her mouth shut and a man’s hands on the second date.

Abortion clinics now available in every high school in United States.

Senate still blocks drilling for oil in Washington D.C. though gas is 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers be registered by January 2030.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florexico voters still having trouble with voting machines.
 
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

What is it? :ugh3:
 
It's just a made-up future headline, Kalista, so it didn't name a specific person. I'm sure it won't be Kennedy, but who can predict politics 20 years from now?
 
Re: Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Kalista: What is it?

Oh, do you mean what is a conservative? It's someone who is more traditional, conventional, not very progressive, slow to change, often leaning to the political right, resisting rapid change, things like that.

Liberals tend to say they lack vision, are die-hards, old-line, hidebound, and reactionary.
 
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