Stay married or not?

[shel90]

I am with GHSH's beautful comments.. Just leave them alone and respect their personal pravicy. let them work it out and figure how to solve their marriage problems...

my advice, don't ruin their marriage.. just walk out of person who married somebody... if person don't like husband nor wife, it is their problem, not yours.. get it?

Like instance, person has own childern, she or he dislike one of their own childern. let between one of parent and one of childern work out in thier relationship child and parent.. leave them alone.. that is their problem where they can solve, not ourselves... I bet that you would tell her, better throw one out of childern into foster place or adoption place that would be solve... i tell you, it won't be solve period...

get pic?

Huh? U need to reread my posts...u seem to misunderstand my points. This is NOT about my friend...this is just a general question about anyone and I was using my friend as an example with HER permission. Read my posts again, pls.

 

[XBGMER]

Huh? U need to reread my posts...u seem to misunderstand my points. This is NOT about my friend...this is just a general question about anyone and I was using my friend as an example with HER permission. Read my posts again, pls.

Shel90, i did read your post millions times before you tell me " U need to re-read my posts "..

I ain't blind, hello!

My good friend has been unhappy in her marriage for the last 9 years. In fact, she hates her husband so much. I told her to leave him but she wont cuz she doesnt want to hurt her children by breaking up the household. Her parents will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary next year and I can see that they love each other very much. My friend and her husband treat each other with no respect and talk down on each other. U can feel the hatred whenever around them. I am a child of divorce and it didnt affect me negatively but my friend thinks it will screw up her children's lives. In my opinion, I think by staying together will do a LOT more harm than if they do split up. Even their daughter told them they should break up cuz they fight all the time.

You see your posts as above?

Many times that I have to hear or see the person tell the married person or the partner person leave their relationship with somebody.. the person is really lost my respect for person who screw up the married or partner who take off their relationship with somebody.

 

[Chrysanthe]

My opinions to your general question.... not about your friend, hehe.

If I was not happy with my husband, I would leave him. I would want my children to know what is happiness and what is not happiness. I would not stay with my husband's for children's sake. I would be forever unhappy. This isn't right.

My husband had a previous relationship with a woman with their two children. They stayed together for their children's sake. My husband told me that he loved his children so much but he couldn't stay with the mother of his children. It was a hellbent for him. He thought it wasn't fair for him and his children seeing himself unhappy and letting the woman control his life. He hated it. Finally he decided to end up the relationship with her. He continued to see his children and he loves his children. He knows she is a good mother but it just didn't work out for both of them. It s better off when when man and woman are happy than suffering in their marriages and setting examples for their children.

That's my opinion.

 

[BearBeauty]

I vote spilt up. It won't affect the kids much if the parents spilt up because they hate each other. Parents that stay together for the sake of the children do a lot worse than parents who split up. My boyfriend got a divorce cuz he couldn't live with his ex despite having kids. The kids are happier now. So...

 

[shel90]

Shel90, i did read your post millions times before you tell me " U need to re-read my posts "..

I ain't blind, hello!


You see your posts as above?

Many times that I have to hear or see the person tell the married person or the partner person leave their relationship with somebody.. the person is really lost my respect for person who screw up the married or partner who take off their relationship with somebody.

Ok whatever

 

[Cheri]

I vote spilt up. It won't affect the kids much if the parents spilt up because they hate each other. Parents that stay together for the sake of the children do a lot worse than parents who split up. My boyfriend got a divorce cuz he couldn't live with his ex despite having kids. The kids are happier now. So...

Agreed! I don't like it when some mothers uses the kids over the ex husband or ex boyfriend's head to get back to the relationship they once had, just because they have kids together that doesn't mean they have to get back together for the sake of the kids. It has nothing to do with the kids, relationship should be based on love they feel for each others. If there's no love, no happiness, no trustworthy, no communication then what's is it worth to stay together?

 

[R2D2]

Shel90,

Although I'm too am a child of divorce and wasn't too badly affected I think it's her decision. If she values her family being together then that is right for her. I would encourage her to go and see a counsellor by herself though so that she can be taught how to deal with the husband and make the best of a bad situation. She can be taught how to argue effectively for example.

I don't think it's always bad for parents to stay together if they want to. But I do think that rather than continue in their same bad patterns (which is being lazy) they should take measures to change them to a more liveable situation with the help of counsellors.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Agreed! I don't like it when some mothers uses the kids over the ex husband or ex boyfriend's head to get back to the relationship they once had, just because they have kids together that doesn't mean they have to get back together for the sake of the kids. It has nothing to do with the kids, relationship should be based on love they feel for each others. If there's no love, no happiness, no trustworthy, no communication then what's is it worth to stay together?

Yes it's selfish and unfair to use the kids against ex-partners/spouses. I feel bad for the kids if the parents use them as an excuse. It's kid's interest, the parents should think about, not themselves.

 

[Cheri]

Yes it's selfish and unfair to use the kids against ex-partners/spouses. I feel bad for the kids if the parents use them as an excuse. It's kid's interest, the parents should think about, not themselves.

Right on hunny!

 

[shel90]

Shel90,

Although I'm too am a child of divorce and wasn't too badly affected I think it's her decision. If she values her family being together then that is right for her. I would encourage her to go and see a counsellor by herself though so that she can be taught how to deal with the husband and make the best of a bad situation. She can be taught how to argue effectively for example.

I don't think it's always bad for parents to stay together if they want to. But I do think that rather than continue in their same bad patterns (which is being lazy) they should take measures to change them to a more liveable situation with the help of counsellors.

No No..this is not about her. Was just setting her situation as an example for my real question which was "Should parents who cant get along or dont love each other stay married for their kids' sake?"

I was new to this forum when I created this thread and now I have learned from this..from now on, I wont use anyone as an example cuz it seems to confuse readers on what the thread is really about. Before I created this thread, I did ask her if it was alright to use her situation as an example and she said fine as long I dont use her name.

What my friend and her hubby has to decide on their marriage is for them to decide on their own. I would NEVER interfere and will be there for her for advice but her situation just made me wonder cuz my grandparents did the same thing and my mom and her sisters always talked about how thrilled they were when they finally divorced.