true perception of the hearing world?

[guido]

Lately, as I've browsed through various threads on here, I've sensed a growing tension and hostility towards the hearing world from select deaf posters, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me. I've always felt welcome among here and at local gatherings as an eager ASL student and as a person who wants to learn to communicate. So far my experiences have been fairly positive. But I've been somewhat frustrated lately; mostly after seeing and hearing derogatory statements by both worlds towards the other. I can't recall how many times I've seen the phrase "hearies are dumb," lately. My question is, as a deaf person who lives in a world surrounded by hearing people, who for the most part, are incapable of experiencing life through your point of view, what are your feelings towards the hearing world?

 

[sr171soars]

For me personally, it is no big deal. I much prefer the hearing world and that is my world. They take me as one of their own.

There will probably always be problems where the hearing and deaf clash over misunderstanding the other. Nothing new under the sun.

It does irritate me that the deaf will say that "the hearing are dumb". It goes both ways and ignorance is not limited to the hearing. Just being in this forum has shown me how much ignorance there is among the deaf!

 

[ismi]

Lately, as I've browsed through various threads on here, I've sensed a growing tension and hostility towards the hearing world from select deaf posters, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me. I've always felt welcome among here and at local gatherings as an eager ASL student and as a person who wants to learn to communicate. So far my experiences have been fairly positive. But I've been somewhat frustrated lately; mostly after seeing and hearing derogatory statements by both worlds towards the other. I can't recall how many times I've seen the phrase "hearies are dumb," lately. My question is, as a deaf person who lives in a world surrounded by hearing people, who for the most part, are incapable of experiencing life through your point of view, what are your feelings towards the hearing world?

 

[Oceanbreeze]

I'm hearing, but I also have seen some of the same sentiments as Guido has.

Does it bother me? Sure, because, I don't understand it.

I'm also physically disabled, and I sit in a wheelchair. I have for most of my life. I have gotten weird reactions from so called able-bodied people, who don't understand that I'm a person just like they are. I just happen to have been born with a birth defect that caused paralysis. So, I can sort of understand the atitudes of the deaf towards the hearing and vice versa.

What I don't understand is the seperatism I have been exposed to by some here on alldeaf (and other forums). I GET that ASL is a language, and that deafies are very proud of their language, and their culture. I get that, and I can appreciate that. What I don't get, is why some deafies don't think I can get it, and they go out of their way to reject someone like me simply because I happen to be hearing.

I really think it comes down to this... Some hearing don't want to give deafies a chance, and vice versa. But, I truly believe that we're not all like this. I truly believe that not all deaf are like this, and not all hearing are like this. It's my hope that, one day, we will bridge this gap between the two worlds, because, I truly feel we all are missing out.

 

[Y]

guido, I suspect that you probably felt like
a fifth wheel being left out when
you were looking at one of these threads
such as:

Funny story but true story (Sweetheart's story)
http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=31302&page=2&pp=20

Perhaps Reba and/or someone else whoever
can understand sign language will be able
to recognize Sweetheart's video
that this video have NOTHING to do with you personally.

Maybe Reba or someone can re-phrase
what did deafies really meant, etc.

I LOVE that kind of ASL story so much better
than any kind of music


NOTE: As a deaf person myself in a hearing world
I tend to feel like "a fifth wheel" many many years
so thats why I could understand about
how some hearies felt about this in a reversal way
temporarily.

 

[Cheri]

Just being in this forum has shown me how much ignorance there is among the deaf!

That was un call for. I've seen some deafness here had face a lot of conflicts in their years of growing up, You gotten walk the mile in their shoes to understand why they feel the way they are. You know the dividing people who are deaf and hearing, the lack of communication. They feel that hearing people should learn their language which that is ASL, an easy way to communicate. Maybe they would feel more comfortable out in the world with other people. There is nothing wrong with how they feel, I don't see why you have to be so ignorant about it.

 

[sr171soars]

That was un call for. I've seen some deafness here had face a lot of conflicts in their years of growing up, You gotten walk the mile in their shoes to understand why they feel the way they are. You know the dividing people who are deaf and hearing, the lack of communication. They feel that hearing people should learn their language which that is ASL, an easy way to communicate. Maybe they would feel more comfortable out in the world with other people. There is nothing wrong with how they feel, I don't see why you have to be so ignorant about it.

Whatever you want to call me, ignorant isn't one of them. I was merely pointing out an observation not condemning them (I have very little real world contact with the deaf so where was I going to get a reference point?). I will be frank...I have learned a great deal from this forum and I'm thankful to have better insights with the deaf (this from somebody who deaf himself!!!) I perfectly understand many of the issues of which you point out. I dealt with some of them myself during my early years. Nothing is easy whether one can hear some or not at all. Yes, communication is the great divide that causes much grief between the worlds.

It is a great idea that the deaf feel that the hearing ought to learn ASL to reduce the divide between the worlds. Unfortunately, the reality of it is that it won't happen no matter what. We all know that...nothing new under the sun. One problem from the deaf perspective is understanding the hearing world. That is what I speak of in terms of ignorance. Not head knowledge as such but simply understanding the hearing. That is why I get irritated with the phrase "Hearies are dumb" when it is a totally unfair characterization. Why label them this way when 99% of them have no idea what it is like to be deaf? For the most part, neither side is being fair to the other and often don't give each other the benefit of the doubt. I have been on both sides of the fence and I understand them very well.

 

[zookeeper4321]

WTF is the post above me? Anyway almost everyone here knows by now I'm a Hearie with a Deaf son. I am now seeing a HOH man. I see differances in individuals, but not in groups of people. I have seen it all in both worlds. I've made lots of friends here as well as in a live chat Deaf room. I've had Deaf friends in the past. I think we need to focus on the people who do get along with others and not focus on those who don't. As long as I don't get to bitchy my boy friend doesn't care if I hear or not.

 

[hobo]

I think having forums like this where people can interact with each other helps...being a hearie I really dont know what its like being deaf...but I am willing to learn as much as I can.....

 

[Ruliya]

I think having forums like this where people can interact with each other helps...being a hearie I really dont know what its like being deaf...but I am willing to learn as much as I can.....

Same here.

 

[Ruliya]

Funny story but true story (Sweetheart's story)
http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=31302&page=2&pp=20

Whoa, that woman sure signed faster than the interpreter I know!

 

[gnulinuxman]

That was un call for. I've seen some deafness here had face a lot of conflicts in their years of growing up, You gotten walk the mile in their shoes to understand why they feel the way they are. You know the dividing people who are deaf and hearing, the lack of communication. They feel that hearing people should learn their language which that is ASL, an easy way to communicate. Maybe they would feel more comfortable out in the world with other people. There is nothing wrong with how they feel, I don't see why you have to be so ignorant about it.

I would agree with Cheri. I think that the biggest problems seem to come from these sources:

• Ignorance -- People just don't understand the other group
• Attitudes -- People who think they're better because they "don't need to sign" or are "deafer than thou" (I've seen the "don't need to sign" attitude FAR more.)
• Unwillingness to learn -- People don't want to learn ASL or change because they think their way is the right way (or because they just don't want to). This is called "lethargy".

 

[gnulinuxman]

It is a great idea that the deaf feel that the hearing ought to learn ASL to reduce the divide between the worlds. Unfortunately, the reality of it is that it won't happen no matter what. We all know that...nothing new under the sun. One problem from the deaf perspective is understanding the hearing world. That is what I speak of in terms of ignorance. Not head knowledge as such but simply understanding the hearing.

Yeah, right. I'm a hearie and I sign. There are too many of my hearing friends who wished they could take ASL classes in high school to count.

That is why I get irritated with the phrase "Hearies are dumb" when it is a totally unfair characterization. Why label them this way when 99% of them have no idea what it is like to be deaf? For the most part, neither side is being fair to the other and often don't give each other the benefit of the doubt. I have been on both sides of the fence and I understand them very well.

You don't sign. Therefore, you have NOT been on both sides of the fence. You're probably getting the attitudes because you don't sign, not because you can speak.

 

[fyborg]

Why expend so much energy in being hostile towards the hearing world? They outnumber us and always will.
For many of us, including me, being negative towards hearies also implies negativity towards family members--not a path one wants to go on.

 

[kashveera]

Lately, as I've browsed through various threads on here, I've sensed a growing tension and hostility towards the hearing world from select deaf posters, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me. I've always felt welcome among here and at local gatherings as an eager ASL student and as a person who wants to learn to communicate. So far my experiences have been fairly positive. But I've been somewhat frustrated lately; mostly after seeing and hearing derogatory statements by both worlds towards the other. I can't recall how many times I've seen the phrase "hearies are dumb," lately. My question is, as a deaf person who lives in a world surrounded by hearing people, who for the most part, are incapable of experiencing life through your point of view, what are your feelings towards the hearing world?

I must agree with your statement, I am profoundly deaf, spent all my nineteen years of my life, in the hearing world, and yes there is a difference between the two worlds, but im so proud that I can say I equally belong in both worlds, my hearing friends and family accept me and so do my deaf friends! I personally feel there is no need to particularly point out the two worlds in comparision to each other, I feel there needs to be an amalgamation of these two worlds, then only can we call ourselves a society who cares!!

Kashveera

 

[sr171soars]

...Therefore, you have NOT been on both sides of the fence. You're probably getting the attitudes because you don't sign, not because you can speak.

I have been on both sides from the standpoint knowing that I can't hear like them (the hearing). I know the limitations of HAs and CIs even though my CI is much better. That is what I referring to...

As far as attitudes go from some of the deaf, it was because I could hear "well enough" and speak amongst the hearing that I was considered "hearing". That gets real old when you are a 'tweener. You are correct that I don't sign but that wasn't the issue with them. It might have mitigated the hostility a bit if I could sign (why I don't is a whole another issue).

 

[gnulinuxman]

I have been on both sides from the standpoint knowing that I can't hear like them (the hearing). I know the limitations of HAs and CIs even though my CI is much better. That is what I referring to...

But that's not the same thing. The Deaf culture referred to is a signing culture and most of my friends who are deaf and big-D Deaf would like to change the name. Because you don't fit into that culture, your views on it are quite skewed by your refusal to sign.

As far as attitudes go from some of the deaf, it was because I could hear "well enough" and speak amongst the hearing that I was considered "hearing". That gets real old when you are a 'tweener. You are correct that I don't sign but that wasn't the issue with them. It might have mitigated the hostility a bit if I could sign (why I don't is a whole another issue).

Then why, when I can hear better than you, would I not see that kind of resentment? Because I can sign, perhaps?

Look, you've been quite snooty on this board about your not "needing" to sign. Some Deaf people take that as an insult because signing is a strong part of who they are. It's become a part of who I am too, and it won't be going away.

 

[sr171soars]

But that's not the same thing. The Deaf culture referred to is a signing culture and most of my friends who are deaf and big-D Deaf would like to change the name. Because you don't fit into that culture, your views on it are quite skewed by your refusal to sign.Then why, when I can hear better than you, would I not see that kind of resentment? Because I can sign, perhaps?

Look, you've been quite snooty on this board about your not "needing" to sign. Some Deaf people take that as an insult because signing is a strong part of who they are. It's become a part of who I am too, and it won't be going away.

Until you have to deal with deafness in some form or another, you have absolutely no clue what it is to be deaf regardless the degree of it. Just being around those who are deaf doesn't give you any real understanding until you have experienced yourself. Therefore, you have nothing to say about it either and stop putting on airs about your ability to sign. It is not necessary for you to sign period. It is something you enjoy doing and you often parade that fact. It is totally an option for you which is far more so than it is for me. I have a choice to do sign or not but I prefer not to do so...and it is not about "lording" over anybody. *Shrug* It is a personal thing and I rarely talk about it which should be the case. Since I live in the hearing world, I go by the maxim "As in Rome do as the Romans do....".

As for your accusation about being "snotty", I had to laugh at that as it was totally inane coming from you. As I mentioned before, I rarely say anything about it. I'm just chillin' on this board and being cool and I gotta deal with the "attitudes" of the world...get my drift?

Going back to the issue of the deaf culture, no I'm not a part of it nor will I ever be a part of it. Ummm...I thought this forum for all those who are deaf in some degree or interested in the deaf world. Let me see, when my CI is off I'm deaf as they come...where does that put you?

 

[Cloggy]

............
Look, you've been quite snooty on this board about your not "needing" to sign. Some Deaf people take that as an insult because signing is a strong part of who they are. It's become a part of who I am too, and it won't be going away.

GNU.... only a small percentage uses sign! Appearently most don't need it.

I admire your zeal for sign language. It's a beautiful language. But.. it is not a neccessity. Claiming that it is the only way because it defines oneself is a farce. Communication defines people. Limiting to one hardly used means of communication is limiting oneself.
And it might work in small communities. But not in the real world.

Some people have decided that instead of learning a language that hardly anyone speaks, they focus on understanding a language that is used around them.

 

[Cheri]

From what I've read in here, I would slide with gnulinuxman, He seems to have a lot of knowledge about "feelings" along in Deaf people, even through he isn't deaf himself. It all has to do with opening up your heart and understand the feelings why the deaf feels the way they are feeling. Some people think it's all about attitude, What about the ones who have CI, those who are hearing, They're no better than deaf people. I just wish that everyone would treat each others the same level of respect.

In my personal opinion, I've seen so much, I've walked the path of life with some hearing people who doesn't have the time of the day to try to talk to a deaf person, I've told a several people that I'm deaf because this person would be speaking so fast for me to read this person's lips, I would get a respond, as "I'm sorry" and walked away. They don't recognized that what they did, offended me, because they haven't gave it a chance at least try to communicate. I'm so sick of being treated like second class. Do I have to be hearing in order to be treat fairly? It's bullshit!