I can't take it anymore

Define "I can't take it anymore"? Why can't they just accept if that was so simple that I am not allowed to voice my experience and share my experience with struggling? Is it ok to keep it quiet so nobody knows, and keep these oppression going on as if NOTHING happens?

Quit denying, will ya?

everlastingstorm said:
The tone of your post is completely inconducive to breaking barriers. Your perspective-taking skills are obviously very limited. No one is denying you what your experience of hearing/deafness is. Others have a right to how they have experienced their deafness just as you do yours.
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diehardbiker said:
Here is the truth, what I >>>SEE<<< not as if I heard is that you, the OP showing true color of resentment, anger, total ignorant, act of denial, and so on. Hey, now I ask you a tough, sticky question, that is, WHY you have trouble accepting hearing loss? Is it because you knew there will be tons, tons of oppression going hit right on your face, was it because in the past, you have oppressed us, and now you realized your being forced to join into our boat?

My question on "Whats big deal?" is to understand whats really going on, and figure out how we could change how Hearing respond when dealing with hearing loss and deafness.
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Several people in this thread have been explaining to you why it's such a big deal for hearing people to lose their hearing. If I as a hoh person was to lose my hearing completely, I would have a very difficult time with it - at least at first - even though I've been hoh all my life. I'd miss hearing things so much (I think the only thing I'd never miss not hearing ever again is my tinnitus :laugh2:).

If I went completely deaf, I might feel resentment and anger and denial, and those would all be completely normal reactions to losing a part of myself. But that doesn't mean that I think badly of other people who are deaf. As others have said, if you as a deaf person suddenly lost the use of your arms or legs or went blind, you would probably have a hard time adjusting to that and might feel angry or depressed, and that wouldn't mean you hate blind people or people in wheelchairs. If you lost the use of your eyes, arms, or legs, you might have to change careers or move to a new home, and you might have to get used to doing certain things differently or even learn a whole new way of communicating, getting from place to place, etc. For hearing people who lose the ability to hear, their whole world changes, often very suddenly.

If you've been oppressed for your deafness in the past due to ignorance or meanness, then that's terrible, but what you need to realize is that just as it's difficult for you to understand what it's like to hear or to sympathize with people who can hear, it's can be similarly difficult for hearing people to understand or truly sympathize with people who are deaf. No one can truly understand either until they've experienced it.

I think it's important for hearing people to try to understand better what people who are hoh or deaf have to deal with, and for there to be less discrimination, but hearing people being angry or frustrated when they lose their own hearing is a completely normal, healthy reaction, and doesn't mean they have bad feelings about people who are deaf or are oppressing deaf people. They're just expressing feelings about their own personal loss or the difficulties they're having.
 
Hearing person here.

diehardbiker I understand where you are coming from. People are ruthless and very often avoid things they can not easily understand. This is a terrible mistake for anyone to make because it limits our understanding of people but there are plenty of hearing people who make a solid effort to be a part of the deaf community - me being one of them.

The biggest barrier is communication. Hearing people feel just as limited when trying to communicate with deaf people. There are so many things we want to say but we don't know how

You're right, sound more times than often is just noise - it's nothing special... but it's the way us hearies communicate. So when a hearing person loses their hearing they essentially lose their "most familiar form" of communication. They lose their familiar way of connecting with people they care for. Deaf people heavily rely on signing and need their hands - so imagine losing both of your hands (most familiar form of communication). Can you see how that could be frightening?
 
I currently have an resound alera 9 and the sound quality is going down the crapper. I have been needing people repeat themselves so much in the last couple of weeks. Nothing sounds clear, smooth and crisp. Things sound very mumbled and garbled together, if that makes any sense. I've had the resound alera for a year and a half now but I'm in the process of looking for a new hearing aid.

My hearing has been the same since I was diagnosed with hearing loss at the age of 3. Everything was fine until I switched over to digital hearing aids. It's all been downhill since then. My social life has vanished because I've turned into a hermit crab.

I guess I'm just going to go with buying an analog hearing aid off of eBay or keep trying different digital hearing aids until I find one I like. I wonder how the superpower digital hearing aids are. All in all, I just want a basic hearing aid that will amplify things so that I can hear them. That's it. I never had a problem with background noise or anything when I had my analogs.
 
Have you asked your Audi to set up your digital to sound like an analog? I've hesrd that can be done. I liked my analogs better. The digitals play with the sound too much.
 
ambrosia said:
Have you asked your Audi to set up your digital to sound like an analog? I've hesrd that can be done. I liked my analogs better. The digitals play with the sound too much.
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Yes I have and the sound quality still sounds like crap. My hearing aid also has a tendency to reset itself whenever I'm in an area with a lot of magnetic fields. So the adjustments that are made with my audiologist are just worthless.

People always sound like they're mumbling. Say that a person says ten words, I may only hear about 6-8 of the words that they say clearly. Everything else they say sounds like noise. So I have to fill in the blanks and figure out what they said. Because I cannot properly hear people, I just stay to myself now.

I'm getting really sick and tired of this and it's also making me feel angry and bitter at the world.
 
Frustrated one said:
Yes I have and the sound quality still sounds like crap. My hearing aid also has a tendency to reset itself whenever I'm in an area with a lot of magnetic fields. So the adjustments that are made with my audiologist are just worthless.

People always sound like they're mumbling. Say that a person says ten words, I may only hear about 6-8 of the words that they say clearly. Everything else they say sounds like noise. So I have to fill in the blanks and figure out what they said. Because I cannot properly hear people, I just stay to myself now.

I'm getting really sick and tired of this and it's also making me feel angry and bitter at the world.
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Sounds like your HA just isn't powerful enough for you. Maybe you need to consider the next step and go to a cochlear implant?
 
deafdyke said:
Ambrosia, you're LATE deafened. Great we get that you think it's so horrid not to be able to hear. That is b/c you are LATE deafened. You know what sound actually IS. That's pretty much the difference between childhood/early dhh and late deafened people like you. You'd see the same thing with for example early blind/low vision, vs late blind/low vision or early wheelchair users vs late wheelchair users.
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I was born hoh and I would rather be hearing . I find nothing great about hoh . The older I get the more I hate being hoh. I have one more thing to worry about misplacing all the time , my hearing aid.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I was born hoh and I would rather be hearing . I find nothing great about hoh . The older I get the more I hate being hoh. I have one more thing to worry about misplacing all the time , my hearing aid.
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Let me guess. You were immersed into the hearing world, without the tools .... just the assumption that all you needed was speech and immersion into the hearing world right? Doesn't surprise me. I ALSO hated being HOH as a kid, and I even underwent the surgery.
Sure it doesn't have anything to do with self hate or just not having access to a complete and full toolbox?
 
diehardbiker said:
No, I am merely sharing my experience, can't I? Am I required to pretend nothing is happening to me and rest of my Deaf friends, families?
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You got me! Do what you feel right to share with your experience. I feel pretty much normal all my life even though I was born Deaf and born in the RIGHT year where the large number of Deaf people are. Obviously, almost like I have never been alone so i do socialize with many people who knows ASL (or PSE OR SEE) all my life. i used to have a best friend when I was 3 yrs old. She left for hearing school and was introduced to speaking only. Until I was 7. My mom asked me about her and I remember her that her moms worried that her girl had no friend. She wanted a play date for her and me. I didnt wsnt to because I knew she speaks only. We met again. All she talks about how important the sounds were. That's her best interests in sounds. I wasn't. Hey I do wear my hearing aids anyway. She knows nothing about ASL. We tried to communicate in many ways. So I told my mom that I didn't want a play date with her again. It's a waste of my time. My mom knew but felt bad for her. Until we become teens. Her mom wanted a play date again. So we met. Of course she knows no ASL and talked about the musics. After that I'm done with her until we were in college. She went to Lowell universuty and I went to gallaude so we met again by her mom asked. She finally asked me about what does the deaf life like. We chatted through signs and body languages or mouth moves. It was an interesting conversation that she asked about the Deaf culture. I moved out of this hometown. I heard she got involved with Deaf people more and more. She found me on facebook. I tried to talk to her through the private message and did not reply back. I'm not giving up on her yet. I d love to meet her in person one day. I found it strange that she did not reply much on Facebook when I asked either in public or private. From what I know she speaks but I don't know if she speaks good or ok? :dunno2: The point Is that for me. I'm not upset if I don't understand the sounds. I'm cool with it.
 
HOH-ME said:
Sounds like your HA just isn't powerful enough for you. Maybe you need to consider the next step and go to a cochlear implant?
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No, what I need are something with power. Analogs. I need something to make things louder so that I can hear things. Unfortunately these stupid digital hearing aids aren't doing the job for me. All they do is cut out sounds and choose for me what I can hear and make things way too quiet. Not acceptable.
 
When a hearing person start to lose their hearing it's big deal . They know it will change their life style and some people don't like the idea of having to wear a hearing aid. This is why you see so many commercials on TV for
HA that can go right in your ears so no one can see it. This also a vanity issue to some people , I had an audi that travel to Denmark to see some HA that was designed for first time HA wearers. They looked nothing like a HA they shaped like a triangle and came in all colors and animal prints. I wanted one of the HA but they're not strong enough for me. I had clients that lost their hearing and they refuse to wear their HA ,it was hard for them to get use the idea of wearing a HA at their age. And I saw how upset their family got b/c they paid for the HA and it end up in a drawer . This made it harder on my client , losing your hearing is a very big deal . It's like losing a part of yourself .
 
someone else said h.a not strong enough I wondering opposite are they to powerful and you need something like a listener if they still exist
 
ambrosia said:
Have you asked your Audi to set up your digital to sound like an analog? I've hesrd that can be done. I liked my analogs better. The digitals play with the sound too much.
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This is so interesting. I'm wondering now if that could be part of my hearing aid debacle. It plays with sounds too much! Compressing sounds I don't want compressed, etc. So, you can set digital up to sound like analogs? I'm going in for another apt on Tuesday and would love to be armed with some info.
 
jollyrj said:
This is so interesting. I'm wondering now if that could be part of my hearing aid debacle. It plays with sounds too much! Compressing sounds I don't want compressed, etc. So, you can set digital up to sound like analogs? I'm going in for another apt on Tuesday and would love to be armed with some info.
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I was wondering this too. Just program then to amplify all sounds across a range. Problem is most audiologist program then for "hearing" people that have some form of progressive loss. Not for deaf who want to hear sound.
 
Being HoH

Hey, FrustratedOne. You can call me TrippyMoods. :) I have never had digital hearing aids; but i have gone through many analog aids. I have been HoH since birth; and did not receive hearing aids until i was 6. I am now 22, soon to be 23 (May 25th). Personally, i'd just ditch the hearing aids, go learn ASL, and join the Deaf community. Hearies will NEVER understand our struggle; nor will they try to. They are too accustomed to leisure in the way of communication, never having had to modify the way that they communicate with others. You'll make more friends with those who understand your needs and are willing to accomodate them. :) Hope this helps somewhat! Chin up, and keep on trooping. You've made it this far, as have many others. You are not alone, despite the solitude that this disability creates among hearies.
 
TrippyMoods22 said:
Hey, FrustratedOne. You can call me TrippyMoods. :) I have never had digital hearing aids; but i have gone through many analog aids. I have been HoH since birth; and did not receive hearing aids until i was 6. I am now 22, soon to be 23 (May 25th). Personally, i'd just ditch the hearing aids, go learn ASL, and join the Deaf community. Hearies will NEVER understand our struggle; nor will they try to. They are too accustomed to leisure in the way of communication, never having had to modify the way that they communicate with others. You'll make more friends with those who understand your needs and are willing to accomodate them. :) Hope this helps somewhat! Chin up, and keep on trooping. You've made it this far, as have many others. You are not alone, despite the solitude that this disability creates among hearies.
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FrustratedOne had lost her hearing at the age of 3 years old. She had a good hearing aid that she can hear better until she switched over to digital hearing aids. She was frustrated over not getting a better hearing aid and she did not like audiologist's way of getting the right hearing aid for her whether analog or digital hearing aid.

But still I like it what you said for hearing people to understand that they can never understand about deafness and that there is no cure on account of hearing aids or CI. They have to learn how to accept hearing loss and accept themselves as HOH or Deaf. If they can not accept themselves as HOH or Deaf, then their world would be hard for them to deal with.

They need to find outside help like learning how to sign ASL or sign language or get help getting into the Deaf community or Deaf events. It is their fault if they were involved in loud music or noises without any protection. It is also not their faults if they had diseases from either birth or late deafend. That is something they have to learn to live with. The only thing that we could not have on account of hearing world is our accommodations that we need to survive in the hearing world.
 
TrippyMoods22 said:
Hey, FrustratedOne. You can call me TrippyMoods. :) I have never had digital hearing aids; but i have gone through many analog aids. I have been HoH since birth; and did not receive hearing aids until i was 6. I am now 22, soon to be 23 (May 25th). Personally, i'd just ditch the hearing aids, go learn ASL, and join the Deaf community. Hearies will NEVER understand our struggle; nor will they try to. They are too accustomed to leisure in the way of communication, never having had to modify the way that they communicate with others. You'll make more friends with those who understand your needs and are willing to accomodate them. :) Hope this helps somewhat! Chin up, and keep on trooping. You've made it this far, as have many others. You are not alone, despite the solitude that this disability creates among hearies.
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Lots of people aren't completely satisfied with the quality of sound they get from their hearing aids. However, for most of them, just throwing away their hearing aids and going with ASL instead isn't a realistic or good option. Most hoh people don't even wear hearing aids, and many people who do get hearing aids wait until they can't do without them before getting them. Whether hoh people wear hearing aids or not, most of them decide to remain in the hearing world and muddle through as best they can, because that's the only world they know and that they're comfortable in.

For most hoh people, even communicating with difficulty via their limited hearing and their voice is still going to be easier for them than having to learn a new language (ASL) that most of their coworkers/friends/family may not know, so in most situations ASL won't be of much benefit to them. Most hoh people, even if they are having trouble hearing (either because their hearing aids aren't strong enough or because they don't wear hearing aids at all), aren't going to want to change their way of life/communicating completely unless they absolutely have no other choice.

For Deaf people, ASL is great for communicating with other Deaf people, but ASL is often not practical at all for most hoh people who typically need to be able to communicate with the other 99%+ of the population.

FrustratedOne isn't deaf. She's hoh and wears hearing aids. As far as being able to understand her struggles, I think other people like her who are hoh and wear hearing aids are in a better position to understand what she's going thru than a deaf/Deaf person is.

FrustratedOne, I hope you are able to find a hearing aid that you're happy with :) Unfortunately no hearing aid is going to give you perfect "normal" hearing.
 
I was born hearie, i am deaf, at 9 as a kid. I remember vividly how hearies turned like hungry dogs at me..because i couldnt hear. I remember vividly how deafie school was with me. I remember sound.
Its a big deal only if you let thd loss of it be a loss. Instead for me the loss of sound became my gain with sign.
Sign conpletely filled that void of loss. all you have to do is accept it, and learn sign. you are deaf.it is our language. Far superior to cochlear. This fetish to become a.robot, a half.breed android. computer in skull, drilled holes in your head is not very healthy...its driven by fear. and multinational companies make loads of money of of your fear.
First day in.deafie.school. the other deafies, i remember. Signed and i didnt know it they then write down
Its alright...your deaf...and start show me sign.its alright...its alright..
if people. Accept deaf not as a curse, not as an afliction to.be cured at all costs...rather deaf bieng deaf is a gift...contrary to the howls and gnashing of the teath of hearie hungry dogs...it is a gift to.be deaf. Just think if the billions in cochlear companies instead went to sign...how better deaf and you would be..but its abouT manipulating your fear for.them to gain more money...
just accept your gift...learn sign...thats all you ever need. Other deafies are here for you, you are not alone. We wont drill holes into your head. We wont bleed you dry of thousands, we will teach you our sign.for free, if you just ask us...
Cochlear implant. Is about and driven by fear. Its about looking at deaf as less then hearie. At deaf as defective in need of solution and cure...
Sign is more.healthy. its more human then technology drilled into you for profits sake....all you have to do is not.be afraid.
 
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