How to deal with a boss that shouts?

[Strong]

Wirelessly posted

First I'm a co-op student (high school) at three hospitals (that can be possible). I'm working for a program that is bringing a whole new system of dealing with emergencies, such as natural disasters, to the hospital.







Today I was given an assignment by my supervisor. As he gave me instructions, I listened carefully so as not to miss any important details. I even took jot notes in front of him so he would know that I'm understanding him clearly. So I went to do my assignment but I came across a problem. I stopped and went back to the supervisor to report it.







Turned out that I was completing my assignment the wrong way when he finally raised his voice at me in a public setting (his office is not soundproof at all...). I then realized that he didn't give the actual correct instructions or perchance it's my hearing...? If it's the latter, then how come he let me go ahead to start my assignment after he saw my jot notes which are indicative of what I understood him?







I felt so belitted inside but externally I maintained my composure and listened to him. He must have though saw my facial expression of surprise and heard the wavering tone in my voice. He consequently calmed down and used his normal voice after he heard my voice. I still feel incredibly embarrassed and afraid to approach him now.







How to deal with this when this happens again? What would you do?

 

[metalangel]

Strong, do NOT tolerate this.

I was a co-op student in high school. I was put into a bad placement and the owners basically treated me like garbage, they put me in the lowest job which had absolutely nothing to do with my chosen field (IT) and were very unpleasant toward me. My complaints to them were dismissed as 'we're showing you what being an employee here would be like'.

Report this to your supervisor at your school right away. You are not a paid employee, you are a student there to experience the career path you're interested in and that does NOT include being shouted at by your boss. In fact, regardless of being a paid employee or not, this is not acceptable behaviour toward anyone.

 

[Strong]

Wirelessly posted

Strong, do NOT tolerate this.

I was a co-op student in high school. I was put into a bad placement and the owners basically treated me like garbage, they put me in the lowest job which had absolutely nothing to do with my chosen field (IT) and were very unpleasant toward me. My complaints to them were dismissed as 'we're showing you what being an employee here would be like'.

Report this to your supervisor at your school right away. You are not a paid employee, you are a student there to experience the career path you're interested in and that does NOT include being shouted at by your boss. In fact, regardless of being a paid employee or not, this is not acceptable behaviour toward anyone.

Pfft, they won't even care. Plus I'm heading to a university that would require good references and of course I'm clinging to them to be my references.



It's just that I made a big mistake but didn't screw up the whole hospital or anything; I had to hand out documents to departments but I made notes ON them with my pen. That clearly pissed off my supervisor and therefore he printed them again and I had to start all over again.



My mother said I shouldn't write on them...but damn it, I did and I don't know if that's the provenance of my boss losing his temper.

 

[Lau2046]

You are not a paid employee, you are a student there to experience the career path you're interested in and that does NOT include being shouted at by your boss. In fact, regardless of being a paid employee or not, this is not acceptable behaviour toward anyone.

But it happens....like it or not. Strong, I can certainly appreciate how you feel. I got into a fighting match with a fomer boss. He was a real jerk and he yelled at me in front the office - absolutely everyone heard him, but the district director who's office is right in front of him, go figure. People came up to me they felt so bad, basically to say "He's a jerk." These things will happen, but I'd start with him and tell him how he made you feel. If nothing good comes out of it, I'd also speak with someone at your school. Paid or not, you're entitled to respect. Sadly, there are people like this in every job, and I know this from personal experience, so it's a hard start to learning to advocate for yourself. Let them know that while you'll do your best always, you won't tolerate being belittled in public. Everyone has a line that should not be crossed - so draw yours and do it soon so he doesn't feel entitled to this type of behavior.

Laura

P.S. I brought it to his supervisor, the district director, and he had a conversation with him and I'm sure everyone in the damn office was able to verify my side of the story. It wasn't repeated.

 

[Strong]

Wirelessly posted

You are not a paid employee, you are a student there to experience the career path you're interested in and that does NOT include being shouted at by your boss. In fact, regardless of being a paid employee or not, this is not acceptable behaviour toward anyone.

But it happens....like it or not. Strong, I can certainly appreciate how you feel. I got into a fighting match with a fomer boss. He was a real jerk and he yelled at me in front the office - absolutely everyone heard him, but the district director who's office is right in front of him, go figure. People came up to me they felt so bad, basically to say "He's a jerk." These things will happen, but I'd start with him and tell him how he made you feel. If nothing good comes out of it, I'd also speak with someone at your school. Paid or not, you're entitled to respect. Sadly, there are people like this in every job, and I know this from personal experience, so it's a hard start to learning to advocate for yourself. Let them know that while you'll do your best always, you won't tolerate being belittled in public. Everyone has a line that should not be crossed - so draw yours and do it soon so he doesn't feel entitled to this type of behavior.

Laura

P.S. I brought it to his supervisor, the district director, and he had a conversation with him and I'm sure everyone in the damn office was able to verify my side of the story. It wasn't repeated.

Everyone is entitled to respect but how would I approach him about what he did to me? Surely I made a mistake and I apologized on the spot when I explained the issue to him. He replied, "it's not your fault," but I have another supervisor whogets stressed very easily and therefore projects it onto me quite often.

So how do I broach that I do not tolerate this behavior especially when this is a stressful stint and all the emotions are thrown at me?

 

[Lau2046]

Wirelessly posted



Everyone is entitled to respect but how would I approach him about what he did to me? Surely I made a mistake and I apologized on the spot when I explained the issue to him. He replied, "it's not your fault," but I have another supervisor whogets stressed very easily and therefore projects it onto me quite often.

So how do I broach that I do not tolerate this behavior especially when this is a stressful stint and all the emotions are thrown at me?

Hospital environments are awful, and there's plenty of stress to go around. You don't know that you made a mistake - he might have been feeling pressure from his boss or the situation and took it out on you. You're entitled to clarification.

I'd email him and ask for a moment to speak with him or walk up to his office and approach him. Tell him it's been bothering you because this is a field you like and want a career in but you don't want a misunderstanding like what happened that day to be repeated. Ask him how he remembers that incident. I'd make it clear that with your disability, you'll need more direct instructions, and ask how can you avoid that kind of breakdown in the future.

When I spoke to the district director, I emailed, asked to speak to him and described the incident and how it made me feel. (Remember, the whole office heard it so finding witnesses wasn't hard). He listened to me, (seemed very surprised) and said he'd handle it....and he did. I didn't talk to my boss because he was a jerk, so I went over his head to the one person he'd listen to - his boss.

You need to be as clear about your limitations as you are of your strengths. Doing your job well depends on the other's sensitivity. It's your responsiblity to make them aware of your needs.

Laura

 

[metalangel]

But it happens....like it or not. Strong, I can certainly appreciate how you feel. I got into a fighting match with a fomer boss. He was a real jerk and he yelled at me in front the office - absolutely everyone heard him, but the district director who's office is right in front of him, go figure. People came up to me they felt so bad, basically to say "He's a jerk." These things will happen, but I'd start with him and tell him how he made you feel. If nothing good comes out of it, I'd also speak with someone at your school. Paid or not, you're entitled to respect. Sadly, there are people like this in every job, and I know this from personal experience, so it's a hard start to learning to advocate for yourself. Let them know that while you'll do your best always, you won't tolerate being belittled in public. Everyone has a line that should not be crossed - so draw yours and do it soon so he doesn't feel entitled to this type of behavior.

Laura

P.S. I brought it to his supervisor, the district director, and he had a conversation with him and I'm sure everyone in the damn office was able to verify my side of the story. It wasn't repeated.

Yes, it happens, but you did something about it, and it didn't happen again. That's what I mean. It shouldn't happen in the first place but when it does, you do everything to make it doesn't again. Everyone makes mistakes, and you can discipline or reprimand people without screaming at them.

Wirelessly posted


So how do I broach that I do not tolerate this behavior especially when this is a stressful stint and all the emotions are thrown at me?

So you won't tolerate this behaviour but are also (as per your response to me) unwilling to report it? I think you need to decide which. Think about the message that your response will send, too, whichever you choose.

 

[Lau2046]

So you won't tolerate this behaviour but are also (as per your response to me) unwilling to report it? I think you need to decide which. Think about the message that your response will send, too, whichever you choose.

It's not always easy for someone in her position to get the nerve to talk to a supervisor. Bosses are jerks and I'm convinced many get those jobs by stepping on people and not caring one way or the other. As with everything in life, it involves believing in yourself and having courage.

Laura

 

[SilentRider]

Wow man. Brings back memories when I was 15 I worked for toys r us and had a boss who got close to me and yelled in my face. I could smell his breath and felt his spits on my face. I then got close to his face and replied back with the same yelling that I understood and repeated what he said to me. He didn't like that and i said me either. Then totally changed how he ccommunicate with me. Had another mgr who wanted my attention .. he threw a action figure at my back. Hurted but I held it in and returned the favor when I needed his attention (I added more velocity) he never tthrew anything at me again. However this was when I was aa teen. I think many points here was right on with communication with the boss.

 

[metalangel]

It's not always easy for someone in her position to get the nerve to talk to a supervisor. Bosses are jerks and I'm convinced many get those jobs by stepping on people and not caring one way or the other. As with everything in life, it involves believing in yourself and having courage.

Just FYI, 'co-op education' is run by high schools here in Ontario, instead of doing classes you have two periods once or twice a week (usually in the afternoon) in a local business or institution that's agreed to let you volunteer to help and in return they will teach you about whatever field you're interested in there.

While I accept that dealing with jerk bosses is something you'll need to learn, I'm not sure if a high school student who is giving their time to the hospital to help and to learn about it should have to endure that sort of treatment, especially for what seems like a fairly minor problem. It's almost like volunteering at a shelter and being shouted at because you put too much starch in the bed sheets!

As an aside: When I was doing co-op I asked for an IT placement. I arrived at my placement only to be handed a scraper, scrubbing cloth and industrial cleanser, and put to work scrubbing the dirty and crap off old computers so they could be sold second-hand. It was only after repeated complaints to my supervisor about what I was being made to do (nothing to do with IT, I might as well have been scraping the finish off old wooden desks) that I was allowed to actually turn the computers on afterwards and get experiencing installing operating systems on them.

Then, when the time came for the co-op fair where every student had to have a little table in the main hall of the school presenting what they did, I was stuck. Should I really turn up with a spray cleaner bottle and cloth? In retrospect, yes, that would have humiliated the co-op department who didn't care about me or the hellhole they'd placed me in. Instead I tried to look my best and asked my placement's bosses to borrow a laptop to use as my presentation. They agreed and I took one. They then called my supervisor and accused me of stealing it! Only then was I moved to a more appropriate placement, installing software and operating systems for the IT department of a school!

I think a lot of companies that get involved in co-op either don't understand what it means or figure they've gotten free labour that they can use however they see fit. That's why I think something needs to be said.

 

[Lau2046]

Just FYI, 'co-op education' is run by high schools here in Ontario, instead of doing classes you have two periods once or twice a week (usually in the afternoon) in a local business or institution that's agreed to let you volunteer to help and in return they will teach you about whatever field you're interested in there.

While I accept that dealing with jerk bosses is something you'll need to learn, I'm not sure if a high school student who is giving their time to the hospital to help and to learn about it should have to endure that sort of treatment, especially for what seems like a fairly minor problem. It's almost like volunteering at a shelter and being shouted at because you put too much starch in the bed sheets!

As an aside: When I was doing co-op I asked for an IT placement. I arrived at my placement only to be handed a scraper, scrubbing cloth and industrial cleanser, and put to work scrubbing the dirty and crap off old computers so they could be sold second-hand. It was only after repeated complaints to my supervisor about what I was being made to do (nothing to do with IT, I might as well have been scraping the finish off old wooden desks) that I was allowed to actually turn the computers on afterwards and get experiencing installing operating systems on them.

Then, when the time came for the co-op fair where every student had to have a little table in the main hall of the school presenting what they did, I was stuck. Should I really turn up with a spray cleaner bottle and cloth? In retrospect, yes, that would have humiliated the co-op department who didn't care about me or the hellhole they'd placed me in. Instead I tried to look my best and asked my placement's bosses to borrow a laptop to use as my presentation. They agreed and I took one. They then called my supervisor and accused me of stealing it! Only then was I moved to a more appropriate placement, installing software and operating systems for the IT department of a school!

I think a lot of companies that get involved in co-op either don't understand what it means or figure they've gotten free labour that they can use however they see fit. That's why I think something needs to be said.

This isn't Strong's situation. She needs to communicate with her supervisor, be clear what she needs, and establish an understanding from the get go.

Laura

 

[caz12]

these things happen do you have mentor explain to....just move on if not you going find it hard,i worked with so many arseoles in my life,You wait your time and it will come to put him in his place he needs people skill and you need assertive lessons is it possible to get them

 

[green427]

He consequently calmed down and used his normal voice after he heard my voice. I still feel incredibly embarrassed and afraid to approach him now.

I have been dealing with bosses, co-workers, and customers for many years that have behaved this way. Here is what I have to say:

1) Everyone is stressed out in most workplaces due to the usual "more work, less pay, less time, less benefits" crap.

2) Your boss is obviously under a lot of stress, and probably gets hammered by his boss, which trickles down to you. This is pretty normal in the private sector. You know that saying "Shit always rolls downhill from the top".

3) The fact that your boss calmed down right away after seeing your response most likely means that he probably has several employees that are difficult and argumentative, and he was caught off-guard by your professional composure. You probably will never get a formal apology, but by him calming down and saying "it is not your fault" is as close to an apology as you will get.

4) It is most likely your boss will remember this incident and not repeat it again, since he knows that if you do something wrong, you will rectify it.

I would rather work for someone like your boss than some of the real jerks I've worked with in the past...I can write a novel on all the workplace insults & offenses I've endured in the past.

 

[rockin'robin]

Shout right back at him....no way would I put up with anybody who feels they have to "shout" at me, deaf or not......stressed out or not....being a jerk or not...no excuse in my book.