How does one deal with it?

J

JDHammer

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Perhaps this isn't the right forum for this, but as a gay guy and sort of deaf too, it sucks that some say I have best of both words.... being able to communicate with ASL and speak fluent English as well, but I really don't feel that way because when I meet someone new and it's like the communication barrier breaks down to the point where it becomes pointless. I suppose my hearing friends are used to me being able to communicate with one another but i don't know.

She tried hooking me up with someone, but after meeting him once it became awkward and didn't look back.

She still wants me to go with her to a gay bar to hang out... doesn't really help me all that much I know she said she could be like a buffer for communication, but I don't want to depend on her that much... it's just frustrating that I can't read lips all that well compared to others but... i dunno.

There's only one deaf club in Pittsburgh, Pa, (that i know of) but i only went once - go figure.

College @ NTID/RIT was awesome, but sometimes i kinda wish that NTID was here in pittsburgh, oh well.

I could probably rant on and on, so uhh, but for the most part communication on-line has never been easier.... sometimes i wish Life were the same. =(
 
At least you went to NTID.......but yeah I feel for you. Hearing people can be kinda.......prejudicated when it comes to disabilty.
 
Not all tho... my best friend is hearing and he understands what i go through since he has full hearing loss in his left ear, so he often has to ask to repeat then move to the side where his good ear is to hear.
 
Sometimes life just sucks. Well, no... people suck! =P All you really can do is give it a try. What's the worst that can happen.. you don't meet anyone? Or you do and they're too shallow to take the time to get to know you and see what a great person you are? It's their loss, not yours. The more people you get out there and meet, the quicker you'll find that one person who likes you for you and will take the time to get to know you.. regardless of communication barriers.

I say go with your friend. Get out there! =)
 
I've been raised orally and later learned sign language in 1993. Since then I've been balancing on the seesaw (meaning that I can switch back and forth between the hearing and deaf worlds). Since I quit the deaf community and went back to the hearing world in 2003 (for college in 2004 through 2011), I have made a whole lot more hearing friends solely because of my speaking skills. Some of my hearing friends are gay and, yes some of them are cute.

I know that some deafies can't do the switching. Nonetheless, don't let that be a barrier. Go out there and meet guys. Who knows, maybe you could be passing on the opportunity to meet the future love of your life. Don't let it pass - grab on to it.

A perfect example was when I met a cute guy online (later added him on Facebook - that alone is enough to verify his genuineness) through the AOL Beta message boards (now defunct, sadly). If I just ignored the post he made asking a question about one of the beta tests that we testers were doing, I'd never have made a great friendship with him.
 
MDCodeRedFreak said:
I've been raised orally and later learned sign language in 1993. Since then I've been balancing on the seesaw (meaning that I can switch back and forth between the hearing and deaf worlds). Since I quit the deaf community and went back to the hearing world in 2003 (for college in 2004 through 2011), I have made a whole lot more hearing friends solely because of my speaking skills. Some of my hearing friends are gay and, yes some of them are cute.

I know that some deafies can't do the switching. Nonetheless, don't let that be a barrier. Go out there and meet guys. Who knows, maybe you could be passing on the opportunity to meet the future love of your life. Don't let it pass - grab on to it.

A perfect example was when I met a cute guy online (later added him on Facebook - that alone is enough to verify his genuineness) through the AOL Beta message boards (now defunct, sadly). If I just ignored the post he made asking a question about one of the beta tests that we testers were doing, I'd never have made a great friendship with him.
Click to expand...

Sometimes i do - let that barrier "be a barrier" =*( I can do switching easily, I just don't always go out and I often wonder at what point for the hearing guy it becomes too frustrating for communication? I hate it when I have to ask to repeat over and over to the point where they give up. =\

That and i stay in to conserve $$ if possible... and i get nervous around people. I dunno why, I blame the internets =P
 
You could date one of us awesome hearing guys that also sign :) best of both worlds. I've actually witnessed this with other friends of mine who are in a similar situation or once where I was the buffer. In college, we were assigned to pretend to be Deaf and try to describe/find something in a store to purchase. The reactions I got were very similar to those I've seen when I interpret. I think other hearing people that have to insight into this beautiful culture and community simply fear what they don't know. Have heart, I know you'll find someone ;)
 
iacobus said:
You could date one of us awesome hearing guys that also sign :) best of both worlds. I've actually witnessed this with other friends of mine who are in a similar situation or once where I was the buffer. In college, we were assigned to pretend to be Deaf and try to describe/find something in a store to purchase. The reactions I got were very similar to those I've seen when I interpret. I think other hearing people that have to insight into this beautiful culture and community simply fear what they don't know. Have heart, I know you'll find someone ;)
Click to expand...

I definitely agree with you =)
 
Gay & Deaf in Pittsburgh

Hi there, I am actually "Hearing", but I started dating a great guy who is Deaf about 6 months ago.

He will be moving here in the next few months and currently lives down South.

I have been looking for a Gay Deaf group here in the burgh and have yet to find anything. Does anyone know of anything or would be interested in starting one?

He was hoping we would have such a thing as he has run into this in other bigger cities but so far I have been turning up absolutely nothing.

Thanks, - David
 
Agreed. There aren't a lot of Deaf events in Pittsburgh (or maybe I'm just out of the loop?). I feel like a lot of the Deaf events here are usually not well advertised and just little hangouts, luncheons with friends, Deaf plays, etc.; not large scale events (like Sign-a-Thon at the Robinson Mall). David: Not sure if there's one here, but I'd definitely be interested in starting one! I know this is REALLY late from your first post, JDHammer, but I hope you had fun at the gay bar and that everything is working out for you! :+)
 
dertyhoez, thank you for the response. I'll send you a message about this. I'd love to start a gay deaf group here in the burgh for those that need it as well as those who are interested.
 
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