Thanksgiving Horror Stories!

AlleyCat said:
How do I know which side is breast side up?
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The big, rounded part is the breast. The parts that are all folded up are the legs/wings.

RoastTurkey.jpg
 
Okay, I did not do this, but my mother is the culprit.

My mother, for some reason would end up with the driest turkey ever known to mankind. Seriously, for 4 years straight, when my father inserted the for to start carving, the turkey would just flake off in powder form. Those 4 years, we ended up eating hot dogs with all the turkey trimmings. After that, I always had Cornish hens while the family had turkey prepared by my grandmother who came for the holiday. My mother never did learn to cook a turkey.
 
How about you do you have any horrors stores to tell??


My mom cooked a turkey in one of those throw away pan and when my ex husband was taking the bird out of the pan he poked a hole it and the fat was leaking all over the place!! It was a mess !
 
Mine almost mirrors RR's. Young, newly married (first husband), invited a bunch of strangers over for Thanksgiving. Bird says to thaw in refrigerator for 24 hours. Well, I thought that was defrost time, not hold while thawed time. I was a bit surprised when my turkey was still frozen solid. Had to defrost in hot water, and dinner was very delayed. I'm lucky I didn't pass along food poisoning to my guests!
 
enough with the breasts! You have me :drool: over turkey and trying to ward off other thoughts at the same time. :run:
 
THanks! I should have googled this. This actually makes sense. Yet I still managed to do it all wrong before. Let's hope I get it right this year. I will take pics.
 
First year, the turkey caught on fire. Fire department had to come. Second year, the turkey caught on fire. The fire chief came with the others and made sure I knew I was permanently banned from ever baking a turkey in that town. *gulp*

This year, I'm going to attempt it again. Don't worry...new city.
 
^^^And sweet juices! (OMG, I cannot believe I just posted this!!!!)
 
Not sure where or who gets the credit, thus source unknown:


A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought turkey sandwiches every day!

This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a turkey sandwich. He said, "Hey, how come you're not eating turkey, don't you like it anymore?"

She said, "I love it, but I have to stop eating it."

"Why?" he said.

She pointed to her lap and said "Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"

"Let me see" he said. "Okay" and she pulled up her skirt, he looked and said "That's right you are, better not eat any more turkey."

He kept eating his turkey sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter.

He said to the little girl, "I have to stop eating turkey. I'm starting to get feathers down there too."

She asked if she could look so he pulled down his pants for her. She said "Oh, my God, it's too late for you, you've already got the neck and gizzards!!!
 
I never realized how naughty thanksgiving terminology could get. :eek3:

Welcome home, bajagal!
 
Thanksgiving Horror Stories turned into Thanksgiving Erotic Stories if I may say so :lol:
 
Haha, an interesting twist, I must say!

I've heard that the most erotic thing you can do for a man is show up naked with a pizza.
 
This will confuse you? I cook mine breast down for most of the time. Why? I stuff the cavity with onion, celery and apple with nice spices. The nice juicies run into the breast making very succulent breast. Last 1/2 hour I turn over the bird and baste it with real butter and orange concentrate and melted cranberry jelly. This makes a very beautiful, juicy, well browned bird. Healthy? Heck no! It's Thanksgiving for goodness sake! lol
I win prizes.

No joke. Also try stuffing cavity with butter, cinnamon and pears. Baste with honey butter.

Be SURE to use a lifter for a big bird and do not forget to use spray or such on the pan so that the pretty skin does not stick to the baking surface. If it does stick just add an extra "blob" of cranberry glaze there.
 
I've got a deaf buddy who never was told to use a turkey fryer OUTSIDE!
Used it in his kitchen and nearly burn the whole house down because of his inexperience. Still nothing beats a Cajun fried turkey.
 
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