not that its a bad thing but...

On the idea of what defines a person ... I have given it some thought and, personally, I don't think I can come up with anything that defines me. I have defining moments in my life - discovering passions, getting married, having kids, being diagnosed as FMS - but each moment only defined me in a certain context during a particular time. Sure, people are free to define me as they see me but I don't think I can definitively define myself. I guess maybe I feel like once I define myself, I am limiting my ability or capacity to change, evolve or grow to be my best at any particular time of my life. I don't know for sure :dunno2: but it is good food for thought for me. Thanks.
 
Journey, I like what you said VERY much. Looking for super-like button.

"but each moment only defined me in a certain context during a particular time."

So, so true. When we think of defining ourselves, it's interesting what characteristics come to the top. Do you define yourself geographically, ethnically, by skin or hair or eye color, by marital status, by educational status? By working status? Religious belief, and active participation thereof? By health and mobility issues? Recreational choices? Choice of domestic pets - are there differences between cat-lovers and dog-lovers?

Our own time, place and circumstances can affect what quality most defines us at any given point.

"I am limiting my ability or capacity to change, evolve or grow to be my best at any particular time of my life."

I really like that, too. Quite often our self-definitions are negative: "I don't have the talent to do such-and-such." To slap that sort of label on ourselves is very limiting.
 
(shouting) Step right up! Step right up!

That's right, you in the back... come up here.

I am the exquisite exceptional most amazing man in the history of men. I, yes I, Cheetah will now divuldge exactly what defines you. This aparatus you see behind me, is the latest in technology powered by the sun itself! That's right young man, step right up on the scale, er... apparatus platform and watch history in the making!!!

Lets just read what the dial says about you... AH! I see your big toe is going to trip you up soon, and what's that? Oh, my... It looks like you are going to need a tonic for that deafness you picked up. tsk tsk tsk... well, a hundered dollars should do it. Oh? you dont have that much money? (whispering) how much do you have?
(shouting) Yes, for only five dollars this tonic will cure you of your evil hearing...

(whispering) What? Oh, yes, I know you arn't deaf, but you will be soon. now drink up! :D

(shouting) I, yes, I the great Cheetah will define you now! Just a five dollar tonic and you will be defined like never before!!! :D

What? You never bought snake oil before??? :giggle:
 
:lol:

I would surely hope that snake oil tastes even better than baklava !!! ;)
 
If you'll note, I said *hope* cuz I don't know what snake oil tastes like !! :lol:

Yeah, you better duck, boy. ;)
 
Journey said:
On the idea of what defines a person ... I have given it some thought and, personally, I don't think I can come up with anything that defines me. I have defining moments in my life - discovering passions, getting married, having kids, being diagnosed as FMS - but each moment only defined me in a certain context during a particular time. Sure, people are free to define me as they see me but I don't think I can definitively define myself. I guess maybe I feel like once I define myself, I am limiting my ability or capacity to change, evolve or grow to be my best at any particular time of my life. I don't know for sure :dunno2: but it is good food for thought for me. Thanks.
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Defining yourself actually allows you to move forward with purpose and presence. It doesn't have much to do with transitory defining moments as you put it. Those are not so much defining as they are memorable. Something like deafness or hearing is a constant that influences every thing else that you think, to, perceive, and act toward. When culurally Deaf, it is the constant within that serves to guide, to ground, and to provide the perspective from which you operate in all roles, all transitory moments, and all ways in which you value those things specific to that constant.
 
As I have always said; my deafness is a part of me just like my big toe is a part of me. I'm no longer ashamed of this. When I meet someone, I don't tell them about my big tie. Likewise; I don't tell them I am d/hh right off the bat either. It's through conversation that I will say please don't call, text only. I am deaf. That's it.

I am proud to be deaf just the same the hearing are proud to have both of their big toes. Lol.
 
CSign said:
This was how I came to that conclusion. You said that it's "a big part of who I am" not, "being Deaf defines who I am". There is a difference. I wholly understand that you are Deaf and that you have your own unique experiences and interactions on a day-to-day basis that are a direct result of being Deaf. I'm not disputing that, and I view that as a positive thing.

I'm making statements based on what you wrote. I'm sure that if someone asked you to describe yourself; you wouldn't just say,"I'm Deaf.". There is much more to you and majority of people than one single aspect of their being.

If I was wrong and that being Deaf does define who you are, I apologize as I misunderstood your intent. Sometimes that can be a challenge when you're communicating solely through text.
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Ok, got what you are saying. It seems like we have a different perspective on this issue.

My deafness impacted almost every aspect of my life growing up and mostly it was negative. When I finally embraced it, my life became all about using ASL as my primary language, being around Deaf people, using VPs, relays, hearing aides, and so forth so it does define a very very huge part of my life if not all.
 
jillio said:
Defining yourself actually allows you to move forward with purpose and presence. It doesn't have much to do with transitory defining moments as you put it. Those are not so much defining as they are memorable. Something like deafness or hearing is a constant that influences every thing else that you think, to, perceive, and act toward. When culurally Deaf, it is the constant within that serves to guide, to ground, and to provide the perspective from which you operate in all roles, all transitory moments, and all ways in which you value those things specific to that constant.
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I gave this some thought and get what you are saying :). But I am going to stick with what I said earlier about my own personal opinion regarding defining myself (or not). Also, I believe the moments I mentioned were defining moments in my eyes. They added to who I was by defining that I was a coach, a wife, a mother, a Fibro - but those define me in particular circumstances at a given time, those can and often do change. I don't disagree that some feel freedom in defining themselves - I, however, feel more freedom, challenge and possible growth in not defining myself. :)
 
Yes, Journey. I too reserve the right to change what defines me - at least the things I can change! But I can't help but wonder at all the young people who get permanent tattoos of things that "define who they are". I am so glad I didn't go in for such things - if I did I'd probably have my EX-husband's name tattooed on my butt! Lord save me from the dumb things I would have done... and then worn on my body forever.
 
mbrek said:
Yes, Journey. I too reserve the right to change what defines me - at least the things I can change! But I can't help but wonder at all the young people who get permanent tattoos of things that "define who they are". I am so glad I didn't go in for such things - if I did I'd probably have my EX-husband's name tattooed on my butt! Lord save me from the dumb things I would have done... and then worn on my body forever.
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Hmm...just because someone young and get permanent tattoo, not mean they not know what seine them, and not make tattoo stupid. :wave:
 
There is a big business in laser tattoo removal. Despite it being costly, expensive, and painful to remove those tats, thousands of people do it every year.

Plenty of things seem like good ideas when you're 20, and not so much when you're 40. Some of these tattoos fall into that category.
 
Beach girl said:
There is a big business in laser tattoo removal. Despite it being costly, expensive, and painful to remove those tats, thousands of people do it every year.

Plenty of things seem like good ideas when you're 20, and not so much when you're 40. Some of these tattoos fall into that category.
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wow.......... back to topic.
 
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