IF you were a victim and been emotional abused, physical abuse, verbal abuse, economic abuse, isolation or intimidation. What you will do and where you will go?
If you were in abusive relationship and did not do anything. Explain why you think or know you won't do anything?
Many times the Deaf victims stay with their abusers because of communication barriers outside their home. It should not happen but is happening everywhere. How can we fix this problem? How can the victims communicate with the police officers, doctors and attorney?
It is not the only main reason. Because it is small world, the deaf community tends to be very "tight-knit" and many people have ties that lead to others from coast-to-coast. Many times the victims are embarrassed to report to the familiar counselors, interpreters and advocates. Again, how can we fix this problem?
Any comment, advice, opinions, thoughts are VERY welcome here. It won't be wrong or right. Just wanted to know how you would react when it comes to this difficult situation.
What you will do and where you will go?
I was Abused for 5 years. It took me seeing a movie at my mother's house to realize that I needed to get out and do something, plus I have two boys that I did not want to grow up like their father. I suffered Physical, Mental, Emotional, Verbal and Manipulation abuse.
Since I was working, my income the only income in the household, I spoke with my then boss about my situation and he allowed me the chance to go and speak with the police officers. The next time I went and met with them, they provided me with an interpreter and I explained my situation with them. They gave me information to an organization that helps victims of abuse find a way to leave, safely and a safe house in an undisclosed location.
There are organisations out there that will help you with whatever you need, they will counsel you on what your relationship is and provide you the support to get out and get a better life. Caasa is one such organisation. Another, is part of the county you live in, mine was Upper Des Moines Oppurtunity, Department of Human Services. They will help you get back on your feet with funding, counseling, basically help you regroup so you can live a better life. These organizations and any other that is slated to helping victims of abuse will always do what they have to do to help the victims. WITH ANYTHING!
They always have a safehouse, a place that noone knows where it is except the people that run it and the Victims. There is always a place to go.
If you were in abusive relationship and did not do anything. Explain why you think or know you won't do anything?
I did not do anything for years mostly out of fear of the abuser. When struck he would always croon 'I love you and I am sorry, I won't do it again!' If I tried to leave he would either say 'Please don't leave! I will kill myself!' or I would find myself on the floor being stomped on repeatedly to the point that I could not move for a long while. When things like that are said to you, you feel guilty and then feel that you are at fault and decide to try again, for the 1,000ths time.
When you are told, or called names, or put down you start to believe that you are at fault. That's how it was with me, I started to believe everything he said about me, I started to believe that I was fat when I weighed 110 pounds, I started to believe that I was stupid when he ranted at me for not drying off the plates, forks or spoons which ended up with spots on them. I started to believe that I was not working hard enough to make money when I was working 14, 16 hour days overtime, then coming home to do chores until 3 am in the morning, only to go to bed and get up in 3 hours later.
Mostly out of fear of him and the guilt that I was at fault for everything, prevented me from doing anything.
Many times the victims are embarrassed to report to the familiar counselors, interpreters and advocates. Again, how can we fix this problem?
With me it was not the embarrassment, it was the fear that he would find out and I would wind up beaten again.
A lot of times victims are isolated away from the world, away from their families, and friends. If they go out to 'have fun' a friend of the abuser always goes with to 'report back' what the victim does.
The one way to help is recognise the signs of abuse in a victim, and always let them know that you are there to talk to them about anything should they need someone to talk to. STRESS to them that you will not say anything to the Abuser, but will help in anyway you can. Victim will often times retract back what they want to do, because of the fear factor. Manipulation is another thing that is used against the Victim to keep them from running.
Many times the Deaf victims stay with their abusers because of communication barriers outside their home.
At the time that I left I did not care. I just wanted to run away, as far away as possible. One thing that can be used is paper and pen, the next step is getting an interpreter once you are safe.
If I recognised another victim like myself then I would step forward and help them in any way I can. I would tell them that I was in their shoes once and know what happens and can help.
I can relate to many of the things that you are saying.
