It it really the deaf/Deaf community?

[jillio]

I think its fair to say that a lot of people in this thread agree with that.

We can't control what others do or say, but we can make ourselves stronger. You can take peoples comments and do either of the following: 1) Listen to it, and take it into account and if you still stand firmly by your choices, come up with a reason why you believe it is not right for your child, so that you are ready for another one of those comments. 2) Blatantly ignore it.

There you go. We can't change anyone else. We can only change the way we react, think, or perceive. Act with agression towards another, chances are you will get aggression in return. Want to change the way others treat you? Change the way you treat them.

 

[Mrs Bucket]

How is she setting up her daughter for failure? I don't see that at all...

How can you not see this quote?

I took several AP classes and my husband got straight A's, we expect great things from Miss Kat and her bi-bi school will probably be unable to provide those things to her, we will probably need to eventually mainstream her. It is not because we think that she doesn't belong at the Deaf school, but because the Deaf school will be unable to educate her in the way she deserves.

Education begins at home. The Deaf school does not educate Miss Kat for the parents, the parents does it first at home. If faire_jour states she expects great things from Miss Kat already at age of 5, imagine what she expects from Miss Kat at age of 10?

 

[faire_jour]

If that is your experience, where is all the anger at the deaf community coming from? You have made statements that the deaf community is perceived as unwelcoming and mean. That has not been your experience, though, has it? If they have supported you, don't you think you should react in kind?

I'm not angry, I'm frustrated. I am trying to open people's minds and help them to see another's perspective. It feels like it has been in vain.

 

[doubletrouble]

All my life, my mother would hammer into my head that I "hated" Deaf people because my view of deafness is different than my mothers. When I had a deaf child, she sought to validate her "position" even more so. If anything, it made us even more polar opposites up until the very end. My dad, on the other hand, was skeptical of my approach. He voiced his concerns, but never once did I feel that "I 'm right " attitude. These two Deaf people had the same viewpoint, but expressed their opnions in very different ways- resulting in very different results. I am more closer to my dad than I ever was, and my son adores his grandfather- while when she was alive, he despised his grandmother.

 

[Mrs Bucket]

There you go. We can't change anyone else. We can only change the way we react, think, or perceive. Act with agression towards another, chances are you will get aggression in return. Want to change the way others treat you? Change the way you treat them.

Good post! You can't lead a horse to water but you can give water to a horse.

We just cannot help but notice a lot of self-projecting words here and we are trying to help.

 

[Bottesini]

I'm not angry, I'm frustrated.I am trying to open people's minds and help them to see another's perspective. It feels like it has been in vain.

With a pickaxe.

 

[jillio]

I'm not angry, I'm frustrated. I am trying to open people's minds and help them to see another's perspective. It feels like it has been in vain.

Perhaps you are attempting to do that in a less than effective way. The whole purpose of this thread was to challenge people to look a bit deeper and more honestly at their own responsibility for the divide, not to play another blame game.

Before you can open the mind of another, you have to first open your own. You can't change the thinking of others simply by demanding that they see it your way.

 

[Mrs Bucket]

I'm not angry, I'm frustrated. I am trying to open people's minds and help them to see another's perspective. It feels like it has been in vain.

Terribly sorry for posting a tad bit too much tonight as I'm not able to use the PM feature.

I can see you are frustrated, my point is how are you able to advocate using the bi-bi system if you use harsh words?

One attracts flies more using honey than vinegar.

 

[jillio]

All my life, my mother would hammer into my head that I "hated" Deaf people because my view of deafness is different than my mothers. When I had a deaf child, she sought to validate her "position" even more so. If anything, it made us even more polar opposites up until the very end. My dad, on the other hand, was skeptical of my approach. He voiced his concerns, but never once did I feel that "I 'm right " attitude. These two Deaf people had the same viewpoint, but expressed their opnions in very different ways- resulting in very different results. I am more closer to my dad than I ever was, and my son adores his grandfather- while when she was alive, he despised his grandmother.

Perfect example. The same would hold true for hearing persons.

 

[doubletrouble]

How can you not see this quote?



Education begins at home. The Deaf school does not educate Miss Kat for the parents, the parents does it first at home. If faire_jour states she expects great things from Miss Kat already at age of 5, imagine what she expects from Miss Kat at age of 10?

I don't think that she meant it in the matter in which you are interpreting it... but I cannot speak for her. I think she just meant that she has high expectations for her child, as any parent would. I have a 14 yr old , two 10 1/2 year old, and two 8 year old children, and I expect all of them to excel, nomatter what age they are at. I think you are reading too much into her statment.

 

[jillio]

With a pickaxe.

I can always count on you to lay it right on the line, Bott.

 

[faire_jour]

How can you not see this quote?



Education begins at home. The Deaf school does not educate Miss Kat for the parents, the parents does it first at home. If faire_jour states she expects great things from Miss Kat already at age of 5, imagine what she expects from Miss Kat at age of 10?

I do expect great things in the future for my child, why would I not? I think that she a very smart child who happens to be Deaf, why is that a bad thing? Of course we teach her at home, we considered homeschooling her completely but I felt like I wasn't a good enough language model, I wanted her to be around native signers. (I still have no idea why it is offensive to believe my child will have roughly the same IQ and education as her parents, I believe that the research bears me out.) I was merely talking about our concerns about her educational placement in the future.

 

[faire_jour]

I can see you are frustrated, my point is how are you able to advocate using the bi-bi system if you use harsh words?

One attracts flies more using honey than vinegar.

I am not advocating the bi-bi system to anyone here. There is no need, nearly everyone here is in total agreement in that regard. If I were speaking to other parents about educational placement I would be making totally different arguments. I am trying to explain the thoughts and feelings of hearing parents here.

Oh, and as for honey...I think the Deaf community could stand to use a little more with parents.

 

[Mrs Bucket]

I do expect great things in the future for my child, why would I not? I think that she a very smart child who happens to be Deaf, why is that a bad thing? Of course we teach her at home, we considered homeschooling her completely but I felt like I wasn't a good enough language model, I wanted her to be around native signers. (I still have no idea why it is offensive to believe my child will have roughly the same IQ and education as her parents, I believe that the research bears me out.) I was merely talking about our concerns about her educational placement in the future.

I think it is wonderful to expect great things for Miss Kat and you should encourage her to do great things. It is how you worded it in the sentence with yours and her father's accomplishments.

Each child's education and accomplishment are always individual and bears attention to their own individuality.

I do understand your concerns about Miss Kat's educational placement for the future.

As an DeafBlind adult who grew up with a very wonderful Bi-Bi education, I beg of you to please refrain from making generalisations.

I only ask of you to please advocate and learn more next time before you generalise. I thank you humbly.

 

[Mrs Bucket]

Oh, and as for honey...I think the Deaf community could stand to use a little more with parents.

.. and for the DeafBlind community too but that's for another thread but I choose not to waste my energy or time with it.

You see where I go with this positive approach? It is best to advocate, learn from others and move on. Smile.

 

[faire_jour]

With a pickaxe.

I thought that the whole point was to try to understand why hearing parents do what they do. It no longer seems that way. It now feels like (what many posts here turn into) hearing people are wrong, Deaf are right. There is no actual interest in why they feel the way they do, or how to help them feel welcome.

 

[faire_jour]

I'm so so so so done. Goodnight all.

 

[jillio]

I do expect great things in the future for my child, why would I not? I think that she a very smart child who happens to be Deaf, why is that a bad thing? Of course we teach her at home, we considered homeschooling her completely but I felt like I wasn't a good enough language model, I wanted her to be around native signers. (I still have no idea why it is offensive to believe my child will have roughly the same IQ and education as her parents, I believe that the research bears me out.) I was merely talking about our concerns about her educational placement in the future.

Well,actually, there is a phenomenon known as "regression to the mean" that would argue that point. But research is for another thread. As is educational placement.

I noticed that you use the "D" deaf when talking about your daughter. Is that your cultural identity for her, or has she selected that her her own cultural identity?

 

[Hear Again]

>>.. and for the DeafBlind community too<<

Mrs. Bucket,

(Everyone, please excuse this off-topic post, but there is something I don't understand...)

Could you explain what you mean by the statement above? Thanks!

 

[Hear Again]

I think it is wonderful to expect great things for Miss Kat and you should encourage her to do great things. It is how you worded it in the sentence with yours and her father's accomplishments.

Each child's education and accomplishment are always individual and bears attention to their own individuality.

I do understand your concerns about Miss Kat's educational placement for the future.

As an DeafBlind adult who grew up with a very wonderful Bi-Bi education, I beg of you to please refrain from making generalisations.

I only ask of you to please advocate and learn more next time before you generalise. I thank you humbly.

Mrs. Bucket,

I missed your post above which is why I didn't understand your latter comments. No need for an explanation.

Back on topic...