feeling left out

cdmeggers

cdmeggers

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I know I'm not the only one who feels left out of conversations frequently! There's a few people here, they're all chatting about... who knows what, and I just cannot keep up. It's frustrating me. There's not any background noise, but blah. I just cannot keep up or follow any conversations at all. This happens EVERY single time there is a social gathering, no matter what I do. And the others may try to clue me in, but soon enough they're chattering away again and I'm once again out of the loop as to what the conversation is, so asking someone to clue me in doesn't work. These people know I'm deaf, but it feels like as if I'm not there at all, or as if they think of me as a normal person and that I can keep up just fine.. I don't know, but I'm just so incredibly frustrated.

I came down to New Mexico with my grandparents and aunt to celebrate my dad's 50th birthday, hoping to have a grand ol' time.. but right now all I feel is just a lot of frustration from just trying to keep up.

What do you guys do when you can't keep up? I don't even know how to go around this, I don't know how the others could help, I'm completely clueless here as to what to do.
 
I got this real bad habit, if I can't keep up I act like I can. I just nod a lot and pretend.
 
I just sit there thinking my own thoughts. If someone wants to talk to me they get my attention and talk to me. Otherwise, I don't care. I have always been this way. I honestly don't understand why anyone would care if they knew everything.
 
i'll let you in on a well-kept secret.

most conversations are not worth listening to or participating in.
 
I agree, perfect hearing would be 50-50 cuz one half is just noise pollution.
 
What i would do if i couldn't understand a thing, I just stop them and ask them repeat what they were talking about or ask them to talk more clearly, louder, and a bit slower and sometimes people forget that we're deaf sometimes. I remind them that i'm deaf by going "huh? can you say that again for me please?" Other times i would just nod and say yeah.. but mostly because whenever i say yeah, my dad or my mom just immeditaly translate that word that i don't understand what they're talking about. or you could teach your friends sign language and when u don't understand something, they'd sign for you and make the picture clearer. My friend does that to me sometimes. Hoped I helped!
 
At work, I pretend to hear and ask later. Not at work, I w/draw and go inside myself or I dominate the conversation - - depends who I am with. What frustrates me is that when people joke, I don't hear it and the humor is lost even if you get the person to repeat themselves.
 
Pepsi said:
I got this real bad habit, if I can't keep up I act like I can. I just nod a lot and pretend.
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Don't feel so bad, I do the exact same thing when conversating with some deaf people. Don't even get me started if i'm in group of signing deaf :gossip: i do my best to pick out the main point of what's being discussed and consider that in itself to be a triumph.:wiggle:
 
I've been there a lot.

I'm the only deaf person in my family. No one really signs. My brother does try his best to keep me included in his conversations, but the rest of my family usually forget that I'm there and end up talking in a way that I can't keep up. :(
 
August said:
i'll let you in on a well-kept secret.

most conversations are not worth listening to or participating in.
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For once you said something I agree to! LOL I would find another interesting post. If it gets out of hand, turn off pc and do other things. This site is like an interactive entertainment medium to me, nothing more, no obligations, just fun.

About keeping up, concentrate on one or two people to converse directly to. They should be sufficient enough to give you an idea about the conversation.
 
When this occurs, I refuse to sit there and just "nod" my head. What the hell? I see a lot of deaf people do that. I just don't let that happen to me. Either I ask what they are talking about and if they want to include me great! IF they don't want to bother explaining to me what the conversation is all about, adios. I don't intended it in a mean way, why waste my time sitting on my rear end and trying hard to comprehend all the verbalizations happening in the room when they are very well aware that I am deaf and won't understand a word they are saying.

There are some family members who truly take the time to include me whenever I sit next to them, they will know that I'm here and they will do anything to make sure that I am involved just because I want to do.

When it happens that I am not able to participate in the conversations, I just simply find something else to do.
 
I know. See if there is someone not really participating in the whole conversation and talk to that person.

Buy a techie device with internet.
 
inochi said:
When this occurs, I refuse to sit there and just "nod" my head. What the hell? I see a lot of deaf people do that. I just don't let that happen to me. Either I ask what they are talking about and if they want to include me great! IF they don't want to bother explaining to me what the conversation is all about, adios. I don't intended it in a mean way, why waste my time sitting on my rear end and trying hard to comprehend all the verbalizations happening in the room when they are very well aware that I am deaf and won't understand a word they are saying.

There are some family members who truly take the time to include me whenever I sit next to them, they will know that I'm here and they will do anything to make sure that I am involved just because I want to do.

When it happens that I am not able to participate in the conversations, I just simply find something else to do.
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I was one of them that used to "nod" to fool people into thinking I understood. I also used to laugh along with the group even though I had no idea what was going on. In high school I finally realized I had enough and stopped doing it. You're lucky to have some family members who will take that time to help you understand what is going on...my family doesn't. It still bothers me a lot. I've finally just packed up and moved thousands of miles away so I can have my own life.
 
deafbajagal said:
I was one of them that used to "nod" to fool people into thinking I understood. I also used to laugh along with the group even though I had no idea what was going on. In high school I finally realized I had enough and stopped doing it. You're lucky to have some family members who will take that time to help you understand what is going on...my family doesn't. It still bothers me a lot. I've finally just packed up and moved thousands of miles away so I can have my own life.
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I'm sorry to hear that you decided to move thousands of miles away from your family but if it is for the best for you, then it is the best for you. It's sad when so many family members decided to neglect their own family member, deny them the pleasure of interacting with other relatives. It's hard...
 
ClearSky said:
I know. See if there is someone not really participating in the whole conversation and talk to that person.

Buy a techie device with internet.
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I am getting a new Blackberry tomorrow just for those times. We had one tonight at a big family dinner. I missed most everything . But I still love my family.
 
Dont feel bad and left out.. Try find a way to enjoying! :)
 
I felt left out when I was kid. I am older so I would come to anyone to write. I don't sit and do nothing. I don't feel any left out because I always come to write to talk to my family. Noone come to me. Odd. My family are so large. I have many cousin, aunts, uncle, etc. I know that writing are pain in butt sometime but it is worth than being left out.
 
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