"I just want you to be happy"

ambrosia

ambrosia

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When someone is breaking it off with you why the hell do they do this? Oh you just want me to be happy? Well I was happy with you, so uhm thanks!! Seriously why do they have to bullshit? I get a long list of why I am so awesome......but he just can't see a future for us. Why? And when I ask why he can't, I just get another list of me being so super great and how the special guy I end up with is going to be to the luckiest guy in the world, and more he can't see us together.
Grrr I did find the special guy, it was you dumbass, and I was happy. You could have been "the luckiest guy in the world". Don't they know how stupid that all sounds?

Why do they have to give you the run around? Why can't they cut through the bullshit and just be honest?
 
don't know the full account of you guy's story, so that loses on some details.

to me it sounds like:
1) neutralization effect - doesn't want to deal with you angry
2) He isn't on the same level as you and perhaps does not want to tell you directly he's unsatisfied (whatever may be the cause)

that's just my presumption from reading your initial post.
 
That's okay you don't need the back story and sordid details, this is a pretty common thing to happen at the end of a relationship.

Oh I'm sure he's just trying to avoid hurting me more than he has. It's just so patronizing you know what I mean? And irritating......obviously something happened, but to get all these pat obvious I don't want to hurt you answer when what I need is a real honest one.

"I still want to be your friend". Maybe later right now I want to punch you in the throat okay.
 
Let's hope to see what guys give you some tips about this one. I forget how to approach guys because im an old chica. LOL not old chica .. I have not been in the kind of loop for so LONG!

I am so sorry. Since I read your posts in the past. You deserve to have a better guy who can handle you as a toughie chica with hot temper but a good heart.
 
Some guys are just wimps and can't just be upfront. Think of it as a good thing, you wouldn't be happy in the long run with a guy that can't give you a straight answer.
 
Wirelessly posted

On a good note look at NitroHonda's comment :)
 
Honesty is the best policy....but the truth hurts....So it does seem the guy honestly had good feelings towards and for you...To me, it's almost like a guy saying...."I do love you....but I'm not IN LOVE with you"....Just trying to let you down, and trying not to hurt you too much (in his way of thinking).
 
I feel for other people. When I talk to women online, I make sure to not mention vehicles with turbocharged engine nor do I mention the idea of deaf ferret learning ASL. Yet, no one seems interested in spending time with me. I wonder if it's that people in Chicago area are not online or I'm looking in the wrong place.

I sympathize for those on AD that have been duped. Hang in, tough.
 
all i can say is he's a totally JERK for dumping you. WHY? He is a coward! :D I bet if he is online person then if he reads my post and hates me already! :lol: who cares because he makes no bones at all!
 
Honey, when you get that line anytime - He is just NOT that into you. If he were, he would find ways not to want to lose you.
 
I think I find it so irksome because I don't sugar coat anything, and I don't want it sugar coated for me either.

Plus when I don't know the why, the reason, it just leaves me questions.....that I will agonize over trying to figure it out.
 
Nothing is really going to make this better. Life is a vacuum. You're born; you die, and in-beween is a whole lot of sucking. Seriously though, if you can't trust someone to be honest when they break up, how can you trust anything from when you were together? What did they do to placate you and what was sincere. Nothing good is going to come out of dwelling on it. Get a good workout, maybe let the air out of his tires, and eat some chocolate.
 
Wait, you want to figure out (A) why did he use that quote or (B) What made him say that?

I don't think as a guy we're really sure what he means (what prompted it and so on) unless we know some backstory, cause guys tend to operate by rational choice. My impression was you wanted to know B, if that's not the case then I'm off the wrong foot.

If you're just wondering about A, I'm with the others and it's just pretty straightforward. He doesn't want to tell you what's going on and is beating around the bush. Beta-male behavior. What's should be more important to you is if you want to be with someone like that.
 
There is one thing I know for certain, when a relationship ends it is not about one thing. It's about a bunch of things that add up to one thing. You can try to rationalize it, figure it out, but, in the end, you are never going to have one, "truthful" simple answer.

In my case, I'm different because I'm deaf, I fully realize my life and the relationships in it will be different(as late as it took me to understand it). Still, I can't pin the reason my relationships have failed on just that fact. All I can do, or anyone for that matter, is try to do better in my next relationship.

I would also add: As hard as it is to be broken up with it is just as hard if not harder to break up with someone. Perhaps that is why you get the type of answers you do, nobody wants any more pain than they already have.
 
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ambrosia said:
I think I find it so irksome because I don't sugar coat anything, and I don't want it sugar coated for me either.

Plus when I don't know the why, the reason, it just leaves me questions.....that I will agonize over trying to figure it out.
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It's not a math problem. It's not something to figure out. You had a good time while it lasted (like you were supposed to) and you should have more good times until your time here ends, that's it.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
I would also add: As hard as it is to be broken up with it is just as hard if not harder to break up with someone. Perhaps that is why you get the type of answers you do, nobody wants any more pain than they already have.
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I went out with a guy a few times, whenever he felt like calling me, which was ok by me. On the way back to my house I told him I didn't want to go out with him anymore because of his attitude about <fill in the blank> (no, not deafness as I was hearing at the time). Even though I didn't really care about the guy and I didn't want to go out with him anymore and I don't think he really cared much about me as we didn't go out regularly, I still cried some when I got in the house.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
It's not a math problem. It's not something to figure out. You had a good time while it lasted (like you were supposed to) and you should have more good times until your time here ends, that's it.
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Like until you get a laid then kick her out. that is your usual plan? :giggle:
 
Frisky Feline said:
Like until you get a laid then kick her out. that is your usual plan? :giggle:
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I don't look down upon anyone who seeks companionship with another human being. Being deaf, I understand that doesn't happen everyday for us. I've also never had sex with anyone I didn't think was relationship material.

However, I find it interesting that women keep perpetuating that myth. I don't doubt some men have the luxsury of doing it, but I've never heard anyone tell me, "I had great sex last night so I dumped her the next day". News flash: If you had great sex, you're not thinking about dumping anyone.

Although, I do get the joke you're making Frisky.. :)
 
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VacationGuy234 said:
I don't look down upon anyone who seeks companionship with another human being. Thats good Being deaf, I understand that doesn't happen everyday for us. Huh? I've also never had sex with anyone I didn't think was relationship material. oh that is so honest of you, aren't you?

However, I find it interesting that women keep perpetuating that myth. I don't doubt some men have the luxsury of doing it, but I've never heard anyone tell me, "I had great sex last night so I dumped her the next day". News flash: If you had great sex, you're not thinking about dumping anyone. well they do that for a few good sex then dump them
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Oh yeah. same thing for ladies to use guys for fun sex.
so what heck are you talking about?
 
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