Childs behavior

shel90 said:
I work 2 jobs and I wish I can travel. :(
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No doubt. When I am not doing therapy or advocacy, I am knee deep in reading the latest research.
 
I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but last week I took two small children to the laundrymat. The girl is nine years old and hearing, while the boy is five and deaf. I am friends with the mother and agreed to babysit for the day. In the laundrymat, the boy took an empty laundry basket and put it on his back like the shell of a turtle. He started saying "Fuffalo, fuffalo, fuffalo..." I started laughing because I knew he was trying to say "Buffalo" and acting out the part, crawling along the floor with the darn basket on his back. His sister squealed and joined him with another basket, and it was a sight seeing them play. I didn't mind the disapproving stares I got from the adults there. Kids, you just gotta love 'em. :)
 
Beowulf said:
I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but last week I took two small children to the laundrymat. The girl is nine years old and hearing, while the boy is five and deaf. I am friends with the mother and agreed to babysit for the day. In the laundrymat, the boy took an empty laundry basket and put it on his back like the shell of a turtle. He started saying "Fuffalo, fuffalo, fuffalo..." I started laughing because I knew he was trying to say "Buffalo" and acting out the part, crawling along the floor with the darn basket on his back. His sister squealed and joined him with another basket, and it was a sight seeing them play. I didn't mind the disapproving stares I got from the adults there. Kids, you just gotta love 'em. :)
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That is a great story!! How creative was that?! To heck with the disapproving stares. I love to see a kid involved with imaginative and creative play. Shows they are developing well.
 
jillio said:
I agree. My son had sign available to him shortly after diagnosis. Every single day he interracted with deaf signers so that he was able to develop communication skills very quickly. A child that is acting out is doing so because they have reached the age where they should be able to express not just their needs and wants, but to be able to talk about the world around them and to express feelings. A child without sufficient communication skills for their age is terribly, terribly frustrated. When you punish them for simply not being able to communicate, you add to the frustration, and the behavior gets even worse. Address the communication issues and the behavior will take care of itself.
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Yep I agree with that. Limited or no language makes it much harder for Deaf kid try to tell you what they want and harder for parent to try to work out what they want and end up both feeling frustrated and makes it easier to loser temper. When I was 3 to 7 years old, I had limited language and it was very hard for me to try make my mother to understand me, my mother was tired most of time, busy all time, lose her temper quicker than she usually does with me than anyone else cos she just can't understand me and she was more worried by time I am 4 cos her 2nd kid born HOH. I was bit rough that age, snatch things off people cos I can't tell them exaclty what I want, it not that I doing it on purpose. Things improved a lot as I got older. My sister never went through what I did because mum learnt her mistakes with me and make sure my sister won't go through the same.
 
Speedy Hawk said:
Yep I agree with that. Limited or no language makes it much harder for Deaf kid try to tell you what they want and harder for parent to try to work out what they want and end up both feeling frustrated and makes it easier to loser temper. When I was 3 to 7 years old, I had limited language and it was very hard for me to try make my mother to understand me, my mother was tired most of time, busy all time, lose her temper quicker than she usually does with me than anyone else cos she just can't understand me and she was more worried by time I am 4 cos her 2nd kid born HOH. I was bit rough that age, snatch things off people cos I can't tell them exaclty what I want, it not that I doing it on purpose. Things improved a lot as I got older. My sister never went through what I did because mum learnt her mistakes with me and make sure my sister won't go through the same.
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I'm sorry that you had to go through that, but the good part is that your mom learned so that your sister didn't have to. I understand exactly what you are saying about the frustration. Too many times, a parent will punish a deaf child for acting on that frustration, but they are not misbehaving. They are doing what they have to in an attempt to communicate. You cannot punish a kid for doing what they need to communicate.
 
similar situation

I have a similar situation at my house. Only we did not discover my son's deafness until he was over 2 1/2 years old. He now has cochlears and is significantly delayed with speech. We used to have many of the same battles. As soon as we found out he was deaf we began visual communication with an emphasis in learning ASL. The "tantrums" have reduced by probably 90%. I don't care what any auditory/verbal therapist says, he can still learn aural communication as well as visual. The key is to get as much language into the child as you can as early as possible!
 
As soon as we found out he was deaf we began visual communication with an emphasis in learning ASL. The "tantrums" have reduced by probably 90%. I don't care what any auditory/verbal therapist says, he can still learn aural communication as well as visual. The key is to get as much language into the child as you can as early as possible
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! Oh that's AWESOME!!!! And yes, you can do both ASL AND aural communication. Glad to have you here! :D
 
Only we did not discover my son's deafness until he was over 2 1/2 years old. He now has cochlears and is significantly delayed with speech
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Does he have speech abilty? Don't panic too much. It's still kind of common for dhh kids to be delayed with spoken language. Common enough so that there are still spoken language preschools specificly for dhh kids. As long as he gets good quality speech therapy with a speech therapist who is familiar with working with dhh kids, he should be able to develop spoken language. He may not be able to develop sophiscated spoken language....even hoh kids may still have spoken language delays. But he will be able to develop decent spoken language.
 
In reference to deaf kids/adults seeing a therapist...I've been through a LOT of trauma, both during my childhood and as an adult including severe physical and emotional abuse as child and being gang raped that resulted in a pregnancy...but the most severe trauma was going through my life being isolated from my own family and from not being able to fully interact nor communicate my thoughts and feelings. Now THAT'S abuse in the worst possible way...and THAT is what I'm struggling to deal with on a daily basis, more than the other traumatic experiences I've endured.

That speaks volume.
 
deafbajagal said:
In reference to deaf kids/adults seeing a therapist...I've been through a LOT of trauma, both during my childhood and as an adult including severe physical and emotional abuse as child and being gang raped that resulted in a pregnancy...but the most severe trauma was going through my life being isolated from my own family and from not being able to fully interact nor communicate my thoughts and feelings. Now THAT'S abuse in the worst possible way...and THAT is what I'm struggling to deal with on a daily basis, more than the other traumatic experiences I've endured.

That speaks volume.
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So, what is your opinion of a family getting the child implanted but still refusing to learn ASL thinking the implant fixes the problems of communication?
 
I've been through a LOT of trauma, both during my childhood and as an adult including severe physical and emotional abuse as child and being gang raped that resulted in a pregnancy...but the most severe trauma was going through my life being isolated from my own family and from not being able to fully interact nor communicate my thoughts and feelings. Now THAT'S abuse in the worst possible way...and THAT is what I'm struggling to deal with on a daily basis, more than the other traumatic experiences I've endured.
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And you had very decent spoken language abilty right? Tell me about it.....My parents are OK and everything, but I am not emotionally close to them. It is VERY hard for me to articulate my feelings to them. They are loving caring people yes........but I still get the vibe that they still subconsciously blame me for not doing well in a mainstream minimal accomondations setting. It could have been worse yes....I could have ended up with one of those "therapy mamas" ....and at least they now say they should have sent me to a School or program for the Deaf. I'm still not close with them. ...they still think that I'm the only dhh person to have to deal with severe social emotional issues :(
Not to mention that the bullying and oscracizintion that I dealt with in the mainstream was fucking HELL, and fucking abusive!
 
I cannot understand how a parent can deliberately allow a child not to have access to a way to express him/herself.

My parents were able to get me to speak to the point I was speaking almost like a hearing person. But they forgot that communication is a two-way street. No one bothered to talk TO me.

My speech was always to make THEIR lives easier. Not mine.
 
My parents were able to get me to speak to the point I was speaking almost like a hearing person. But they forgot that communication is a two-way street. No one bothered to talk TO me.
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Exactly! Meaning you interacted with hearing people on kind of a superfical level right? Believe me I know.......
 
deafbajagal said:
I cannot understand how a parent can deliberately allow a child not to have access to a way to express him/herself.

My parents were able to get me to speak to the point I was speaking almost like a hearing person. But they forgot that communication is a two-way street. No one bothered to talk TO me.

My speech was always to make THEIR lives easier. Not mine.
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The thing is, the other trauma you had to deal with would have been much easier had you had complete use of language as a native. One of the results of suffering delays is that kids do not learn to identify and deal with their emotions. Simply saying "I'm angry" or "I'm sad." isn't sufficient. They need that intuitive understanding that comes with language function.

You are an amazing person. All the problems that have tried to stop you in your tracks...and still you keep landing on your feet. Despite the obstacles that were put in your way.
 
The thing is, the other trauma you had to deal with would have been much easier had you had complete use of language as a native. One of the results of suffering delays is that kids do not learn to identify and deal with their emotions. Simply saying "I'm angry" or "I'm sad." isn't sufficient. They need that intuitive understanding that comes with language function.
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Why doesn't that surprise me? Seriously.......Emotional experiances are just so complex...they can't really be expressed too well with spoken language....helll when I try to I just totally melt down and lose my speech.....almost like a communication tantrum. This past summer when I said goodbye to my best friend, I was signing and crying. (she doesn't sign)
 
There are moments in my childhood that I remember so vividly, and those moments bother me because they are pieces of puzzles...and my puzzles have lots of missing pieces.

I remember the day that I was in the store with my mother. My foot got caught under a metal shelf and it sliced my heel just a little, but enough to hurt. I tried to tell her but she waved me off...there are many moments where I'm waved off, brushed aside, or hushed because it was too much trouble trying to talk to me. I limped all the way to the car, with hot tears. I also remember one Christmas where my sisters were laughing at a scene in the movie with Rudolph....I wanted to know what was so funny but I got the usual "we'll tell you later...we're watching the show now." When I finally was able to get my hands on the movie with the captions when I had became an adult, I immediately rushed home to find the scene to figure out what was so funny. Almost sixteen years later, to fill an empty space to my puzzle. It WAS funny, but I cried instead.

Yeah, research here and there shows this and that. But my very own personal experiences as a deaf person should carry some weight that when I tell someone that this particular experience should not happen to his/her child, all I can do is hope it doesn't fall on "deaf" ears. Puzzles are meant to be complete.
 
DBG, very good, bittersweet posting. I'm glad you were able to watch the Rudolph video later. I remember the same scenario, over and over, with my sister. It was always "I'll tell you later." I especially like your last sentence, "Puzzles are meant to be complete."
 
deafbajagal said:
There are moments in my childhood that I remember so vividly, and those moments bother me because they are pieces of puzzles...and my puzzles have lots of missing pieces.

I remember the day that I was in the store with my mother. My foot got caught under a metal shelf and it sliced my heel just a little, but enough to hurt. I tried to tell her but she waved me off...there are many moments where I'm waved off, brushed aside, or hushed because it was too much trouble trying to talk to me. I limped all the way to the car, with hot tears. I also remember one Christmas where my sisters were laughing at a scene in the movie with Rudolph....I wanted to know what was so funny but I got the usual "we'll tell you later...we're watching the show now." When I finally was able to get my hands on the movie with the captions when I had became an adult, I immediately rushed home to find the scene to figure out what was so funny. Almost sixteen years later, to fill an empty space to my puzzle. It WAS funny, but I cried instead.

Yeah, research here and there shows this and that. But my very own personal experiences as a deaf person should carry some weight that when I tell someone that this particular experience should not happen to his/her child, all I can do is hope it doesn't fall on "deaf" ears. Puzzles are meant to be complete.
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With my parents, it was as long as I can speak and respond to them, it was good enough.

They didnt get it at all.

I know your pain...know it way too much, unfortunately. :hug:
 
shel90 said:
With my parents, it was as long as I can speak and respond to them, it was good enough.

They didnt get it at all.

I know your pain...know it way too much, unfortunately. :hug:
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I think your stories both indicate how important RECEPTIVE ability is. What is the point of being able to speak well if you can't understand anyone else?
 
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