Deaf people treated unfair like disabled people

I find it that some deaf/HoH people get treated just so unfairly like some disabled people do and it pisses me off. I really dont appreciate that and also there are times that I feel are just plain ignorance of others with how they treat others. I have had several experiences with mistreat. I would have a converstaion with someone and then they would tell me after I mentioned the fact that I am deaf that I am stupid and that I should be in the wacko house. I got so damn pissed at them it aint funny. I was like in shock when they told me that and then walk off on me. I am also disabled so I know what its like to be mistreated unjustly, I often times get treated rudely with retard, dead brain, slowpoke, and other names. I am disabled with Cerebral Palsy and my kind of Cerebral Palsy is Spasmatic, Ataxic Hemiplegia which means I tend to get spasm and my balance is uneven, but hemiplegia means that is affects only one side of my body and that 1 side is my right side. So everything in all my posts were done with one hand in typing. At 1st you might not know I have Cerebral Palsy or the fact I am deaf but then again I have them. Mistreatment for the deaf and disabled needs to end and asap. I know we have ADA laws but we need others to learn and understand our disabilities. I wanted to share my feel and thoughts here because I knew that we all must have the same thoughts. We all have different personal disabilities but we dont let them stop us. Just like they didn't stop 2 of my role models in my life. That makes me damnn well happy, but am getting sick of being pissed and put down without much reason. I really need people to stop and live in our shoes with disabilities for once. Even our deaf shoes, I mean look they should try our world and all before they even judge and criticize us in all they do. Sorry to be rambling but this is my feeling in this and I really feel we need to get this known out there.

Quote from Helen Keller: "Until the great mass of the people shall be filled with the sense of responsibility for each other's welfare, social justice can never be attained."

quote from Heather Whitestone: “Through ballet I was fortunate to find a place to escape, a refuge from my feelings of being an outsider. The dance studio was the one place I felt accepted and 'just like everybody else' was in the dance studio. Hoping to improve the rhythm of my speech, my mother had enrolled me in a ballet class when I was five years old. The ballet class boosted my self-esteem.”

They both give a smile in role models to me and their qoutes show off a bit of how they overcame their issues in their lives.

Attn mods and admin: Please do not remove this thread and also this was my feeling and thoughts I really wanted to share it here, thanks!!

Its good to have a place to get your feeling out. Otherwise, you keep them inside and they do harm to you.

I agree that ppl need to be educated about all forms of disability, but in order to do that, we have to approach them without anger. So let your anger show here, but when trying to educate the others, do it calmly so they have no reason to doubt you.

I work in the office of a university that deals with students with disabilities, and I get pissed off on a daily basis because I have seen someone treated unfairly by a teacher or another student. I have a hard time controlling my temper sometimes, but if I get angry and yell, I jsut bring myself down to the level of the person being unfair.

Ignorance is the root of much of the unfair treatment. You can try to educate, but when people are not willing to listen, the best you can do is ignore them. They aren't worth your time.

you are so right Jilio, but I want others to realize I am not the kind that needs to be put down. We all have disabilities, and other things that are in our lives. I feel as need to tell others how I feel and keeping the emotions inside will make me nuts. Really, for understanding and keep a kind heart Jilio

Offering a bit of tea and sympathy . . .

I haven't had your experience but I do know how it feels to be discouraged, frustrated and angry by the ignorence of other people. My daughter has many behaviors that appear 'strange' to people on the outside because they don't understand that her perceptions are very different from their own. At home we are all fine but when we go out in public we are met with people's rude behavior towards us. I can see people's judgements on their faces, read their disapproval and I've had to learn to shrug it off. Others tend to ignore us or pretend not to see because they are embarassed and we have developed the habit of pretending that we don't see their rude behavior. Once in a while there is the kind stranger who tries to understand but of course we can't possibly explain a lifetime of understanding in a short encounter. As you can imagine, it's very isolating.

However I can escape this treatment when I go out by myself since I fit into the 'norm' of social understanding and behavior. You must live with it always.

I agree, the public needs to be educated but as an individual it can become exhausting to feel that you have to educate everyone you meet or endure their mistreatment due to their ignorence.

Unfortunately, I don't think our world will ever be able to educate the general public enough to ever prevent this from happening. I've tried for 21 years to do what I can to help others understand (this is how old my daughter is today) and I must admit that even some of the people who worked closely with my daughter failed to understand. They often sold her short or decided that she was simply being bratty. Whatever! I would just like them to have to spend a day in her skin and then see how they would behave!

Anyway, I'm sorry for your frustration and although I can offer you no relief, I can offer you understanding.

Mia's Mom

I can relate to what you are saying!

Being Deaf isn't straightforward, instead it’s demanding and arduous and I know this extremely well, because I am deaf myself. I have been through all the frustration, disappointments and all the emotional turmoil when one realizes one has a disability. However, I must also declare, in spite of everything I still have to deal with the same unchanged emotions day in, day out, notably that of frustration, when you want to be aware of something, and you cannot hear it, and thereby not comprehending or understanding the whole situation.

I have constantly been driven by the fact that you should make your weakness your strength, and being Deaf has helped me in this regard. I have taken my deafness into contemplation in everything I do, and from there I actually determine my strengths and weaknesses, thereby reflecting on situations and determining how I, being deaf can approach it.

Accepting my deafness has been where I have turned over a new leaf and moved on. For me to accept that I wasn’t quite like my mother, my father, my brother, my family and my friends, was a challenge. However, that is where the whole process of discovering one’s individuality starts.

I understand where you are coming from...

Kashveera

true there is alot to enjoy about deaf life with turning over the leaf and move on. Also our experiences should be based together someday in a book to show the world who we are with our lives. But not many choose to do that.

deafmedicalpoet said:

true there is alot to enjoy about deaf life with turning over the leaf and move on. Also our experiences should be based together someday in a book to show the world who we are with our lives. But not many choose to do that.

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A lot of people have asked me to write about my experiences, because I have just seen so much in both the deaf and the hearing world....One day I will get down to seriously doing that!!

I will buy the book of any deaf person, seriously, because we can only understand what we go through!!

A friend of mine (hearing) said to me: "I wish I could understand your way of life, but it just sounds so impossible!"

Kashveera

Not just deaf people that get treated unfairly. It's all different types of people. Even hearing people. I'm not gonna say "normal people"?? I mean come on..What's normal anyways?? The world these days has so much BS going on in it. Everyone trying to be better then everyone. Its all about "I'm better then you" thing. Things like that goes on in schools. Yes its in the workforce also. Some people just can't grow up. Sometimes you gotta just keep your head up forget what people say &/or do & just prove them wrong. Although you don't really have to prove anything to anyone..Just prove it to yourself that....
YOU CAN DO IT!!

jlfwildkat said:

Not just deaf people that get treated unfairly. It's all different types of people. Even hearing people. I'm not gonna say "normal people"?? I mean come on..What's normal anyways?? The world these days has so much BS going on in it. Everyone trying to be better then everyone. Its all about "I'm better then you" thing. Things like that goes on in schools. Yes its in the workforce also. Some people just can't grow up. Sometimes you gotta just keep your head up forget what people say &/or do & just prove them wrong. Although you don't really have to prove anything to anyone..Just prove it to yourself that....
YOU CAN DO IT!!

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Well said, I'm with you on that!

kashveera said:

Accepting my deafness has been where I have turned over a new leaf and moved on. For me to accept that I wasn’t quite like my mother, my father, my brother, my family and my friends, was a challenge. However, that is where the whole process of discovering one’s individuality starts.

Kashveera

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I have noticed that. I feel somewhat that they treat us like a dog. Yes, you are right. The best way for us is not to depend on them. I would rather glad if they depend on us. Wouldn't it be that great?

"I would have a converstaion with someone and then they would tell me after I mentioned the fact that I am deaf that I am stupid and that I should be in the wacko house. I got so damn pissed at them it aint funny. I was like in shock when they told me that and then walk off on me."



Wow..that is such a horrible thing for those people to say! I would tell them that they are the ones who belong in a wacko house! Also, the term "wacko house" is degrading to those who are mentally ill. Those people are not only putting deaf people down but people with mental illnesses down too. Ignore them cuz they are ignorant and not worth anyone's time except for their own pitful selves.

I was mainstreamed as the only deaf child in a hearing school and I have had insults ranging from "deaf and dumb to retarded." It hurted and really did some damage to my self-esteem. However, I learned sign language and now involved with the deaf community which boosted my self-image as a deaf person. However, I deal with hearing people who treat me like a 2nd class citizen and I tell them that they are not good enough for me and walk away. It has gotten me into trouble into some situations but have to stand up for myself sometimes. Each time I do that, I feel better about myself.

The public needs to be educated on the emotional implications on people when they insult them espeically children. It is sad that there are grown ups out their that are modeling this ignorance to their children.

It sounds like u are bright individual so keep pursuing your dreams and ignore those worthless people!

I couldn't agree with you more on this. Discrimination and prejudice are evils that society would certainly be better without.

jlfwildkat said:

Although you don't really have to prove anything to anyone..Just prove it to yourself that....
YOU CAN DO IT!!

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This seems to sum everything that I ever want to do in my life!!

Its not about you, its not about everyone, its all about me!!

Its proving to yourself that you are a worthy citizen of this world.

If you can be so confident about yourself, others will aspire to be like you!!

Kashveera

webexplorer said:

I have noticed that. I feel somewhat that they treat us like a dog. Yes, you are right. The best way for us is not to depend on them. I would rather glad if they depend on us. Wouldn't it be that great?

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Well, fortunately for me, in university rather than being treated like a dog, I am sort of treated as a Lion-the king of everything!!

That's because people are inspired by me, they think, My god, she's deaf, and she's doing all of this!!

I have never made myself dependent on anyone, for instance if I miss something in lectures, I never go to my friends, I go back to my lecturer and ask for help...

Once, and only once, did a lecturer refuse to help me because he felt the stuff was too easy, but I said to him, I missed what you said, he refused to help me, so that wasn't the end of the story, I took him to the dean of the faculty and the professor had to apologize to me, till today he can never meet my eyes!!

That's how we are supposed to make hearing people feel, if they don't respect us!!

Kashveera

kashveera said:

Once, and only once, did a lecturer refuse to help me because he felt the stuff was too easy, but I said to him, I missed what you said, he refused to help me, so that wasn't the end of the story, I took him to the dean of the faculty and the professor had to apologize to me, till today he can never meet my eyes!!

That's how we are supposed to make hearing people feel, if they don't respect us!!

Kashveera

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Hahaha - good on you, making that fool face his arrogance and eat it as well. Some folks just aint fit to be teachers (or sometimes humans as well!).

Nomad said:

Hahaha - good on you, making that fool face his arrogance and eat it as well. Some folks just aint fit to be teachers (or sometimes humans as well!).

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Thanks, I really believe that if people can't be considerate, they aren't humans, because we should have compassion and tolerance!

Kashveera

I can really relate to what you all are saying, I've been there, done that and lived with it. It's all an emotional roller coaster. I had my own mother who disowned me just because she was hoping for a hearing child, instead she got the opposite. Some hearing individuals looked at deaf people as a disease. So pretty much subs up as deaf people are perceived as a "bad people". This is how I've been seeing through half of my whole life.

There are bad apples out there, just avoid them as possible.

I know Cheri. Dang people are like sourpussies, old pickles, young blood murderers in words, etc. Alot people treat my CP like its a disease that is contagious or like I am going to die from my CP. I hate explaining it that that is not what CP is. Many dont understand my other problems medically and all. I am pissed with many on that with my life needing to be explained, grrrrr!!! *roars*

Cheri said:

I can really relate to what you all are saying, I've been there, done that and lived with it. It's all an emotional roller coaster. I had my own mother who disowned me just because she was hoping for a hearing child, instead she got the opposite. Some hearing individuals looked at deaf people as a disease. So pretty much subs up as deaf people are perceived as a "bad people". This is how I've been seeing through half of my whole life.

There are bad apples out there, just avoid them as possible.

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I just lost my Hearing last year. I have a BFA. I lost my hearing because I have Autoimmune Ear disease. My balance problems became really unmanagable right before I lost my hearing. When I could hear, people accepts what I said as what I meant. Now they all try to talk for me. I am on SSDI because of the combined symptoms. People kept telling me I should be able to get all these benifits. I kept telling them No I cannot get all that stuff. They didn't understand the difference between SSI and SSDI. I had to write it down before they understood what I knew and had read everything and asked Social Security all the questions. All these peole kept saying I was wrong until I called a meeting with everyone, (Doctors, The nurse, My Mother, A social worker), Then they said "OOOH, OK" I get so tired of repeating everything I say. I was totally worn out from that.It makes me wonder who's really the deaf one. I have had some experience with Cerebral Palsey too. I was married to someone who had a daughter that had it. She was partially parallized on her right side. But she could do a lot of the stuff other kids could do when she was given the chance. People look at me the same way they did her. I tried very hard to treat her normal like I did the rest of the kids. I believe we had a good relationship because I let her do things her Grandma wouldn't let her do. Her Grandma used to say "But she's Crippled" and I would say "Then how is it hat she's running down the street with her friends" She improved so much when she was with me. She was 10 when we got her and she didn't know how to take a shower. Everybody did everything for her. She said she felt like a freak when they did that. She even had a hard time feeding herself. She had use of her of her left side. Now that I lost my hearing, People treat me that way. I don't want to be on SSDI for long. It is by no means a decent living. I want people to treat me like I do have some intelligence. I want to go back to work. I was in retail management. I can't do that anymore. Mostly because of the climbing and lifting. So I have to figure out what kind of job I can do. But people need to stop treating me like I'm stupid. Aliboo

deafmedicalpoet said:

I know we have ADA laws but we need others to learn and understand our disabilities.

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How very true! This reminds me of the civil rights movement and the way changing racist laws was an incomplete solution because so many individuals were and are still racist, including those who run the institutions in which those very laws were taken down. When I get deaf callers who are mistreated by Social Security etc, it reminds me of police who always pull over black men and assume they're driving stolen vehicles.
How can people who are supposed to be in charge of public resources behave so poorly with the public?!