Jolie77

Hello, Everyone -

As you know, We have been seeing a lot of threads that were closed left and right which typically resulted in to a lot of antics, trolling, provoking, enticing. The lists goes on. Granted, there are a lot of members on this board that has strong opinions. Certainly, we can't have everyone to agree. If we were to agree on everything, it would just make it boring.

But -- It is getting tiresome to see a lot of threads that ends up being locked just because member A and member B keeps going on to the point where they can't agree to disagree or rather, to let the sleeping dogs lie. To disagree is fine. To agree is fine too. If there's a way to say it, fine. We all are adults here on this forum. Come on, I know we all have bright members here that knows how to hold their foot down and still can have a continuous dialogue that can be cordial rather than ending up in an disagreement that turns out ugly.

Just because one doesn't agree does not need to have the say to go "Oh, you're not informed. You're ignorant. You know nothing about this." What's wrong with saying "I'm sorry, I'm afraid that you're misinformed *and insert the correct answer/source* or whatever it is? The point is, time to time, I've said this over and over (which is what I will continue to say so) that when responding to another poster - do it like you mean it with affirmation than just shooting some blank/underlying comments that may seem to go on forever. This is not what we need here on this forum. It's got to stop, really.

Some trolls do have a creative spark and have chosen to squander it on being disruptive. There is a certain perverse pleasure in watching some of them. While most people on the Internet are ardent defenders of free speech, it is not an absolute right; there are practical limitations. For example, you may not scream out "Fire!" in a crowded theatre, and you may not make jokes about bombs while waiting to board an airplane. We accept these limitations because we recognize that they serve a greater good.

The ultimate response to the 'free speech' argument is this: while we may have the right to say more or less whatever we want, we do not have the right to say it wherever we want. You may feel strongly about the fact that your neighbor has not mowed his lawn for two months, but you do not have the right to berate him in his own living room.

So, with that said; Keep it cordial/clean. If not, It'd be wise to keep it to yourself. It's better that way.

On a final note; If this continues - A ban will be in effect for both sides of the parties. It does not matter who starts it. It lies on both sides because both sides have it at fault for allowing it to happen.

If there's anything else that needs to be said or wants to be discussed about this issue; Please do so, with respect.

Thank You.

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“Tough girls come from New York. Sweet girls, they're from Georgia. But us Kentucky girls, we have fire and ice in our blood. We can ride horses, be a debutante, throw left hooks, and drink with the boys, all the while making sweet tea, darlin'. And if we have an opinion, you know you're gonna hear it.” - Ashley Judd

Deafness

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hohDougRN

This post comes at good timing. So much BS going on lately on AD I don't even want to post in it to contribute. What purpose does it serve me when spirit of contention and ego preservation is all that exist here. I'd like to have my old feelings about AD back again sometime.

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Doug

Mrs Bucket

This is where sometimes I feel AD can do without a constant negative source nitpicking people left and right.

It is cumbersome and the nitpicking is stagnant. Not only is it a source of constant audism and the fact AD allows it to happen is baffling.

IDK.. sometimes the AD admin and moderators do have to ask themselves why they enable an audist.

IMHO, just not right especially after a lot of people in this board has educated and empowered with the information. The audist chooses to look the other way and continue to proselytize about his/her love of hearing which is understandable. To continue doing this is rubbing it in our face especially when he/she is an audist.

Enough is enough.

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My new nieces/nephews are arriving soon!

shel90

I am with you. My problem lies with people who have discredited deaf people's experiences when they aren't deaf themselves.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Oceanbreeze

I rarely post anymore because the nitpicking is tiresome to see. I admit I used to contribute to the madness simply because I didn't like certain people, but not anymore. I've got enough drama in my every day life to keep me occupied that I really don't need or want to partipate in it on here. I'm tired of endless arguments that really go nowhere.

Please folks... If you just can't get along with someone, ignore them.

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"You can blow out a candle, but you can't blow out a fire. Once the flame begins to catch, the wind will blow it higher."

~Peter Gabriel

rockin'robin

I became dillusioned with AD for awhile...some threads really depressed me and of course, all the nit-pickings. Feel sure many others felt the same way.

Agree to disagree is best, I feel. We all have our own opinions. I avoid the politics threads now. Stick with the "fluff" ones, (as another member quoted).

Cheri

I'm with you, Jolie_77, I don't particular in those threads anymore where people can't have a civil debates without all the provoking. Politics/Deaf education debates usually aren't very pretty which it has frequently turns ugly.

Words of advice, if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all.

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God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow and sun without rain, But God did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way.

Loghead

I agree with the entire post, but this particular paragraph stuck out to me. It is extremely true... it is something I notice too often. It seems that any time a user expresses their opinion, they are replied to and told that their opinion is wrong because of such and such "fact". Then I notice that particular users fight to the death to prove that their opinion is "right". People need to realize that they are never going to be able to change one's opinion, and that we need to respect their opinion as it is not up to us to change their ways of thinking. An opinion is like your favourite colour, your favourite colour is what it is and no one can change it.

shel90

What about those who spread lies and post innaccurate information?

Do we let them continue to misinform people on AD?

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

deafskeptic

That's been bothering me for a while regarding some posters (though some of the misinformation isn't deaf related.).

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Left ear implanted with Med-El on April 24 2007.
Activated on May 9th.

Mrs Bucket

This is what has been bothering me because it is part of the behaviour the audist exhibits towards other members here.

Whether he/she feels he/she is right and the other members are wrong, he/she will gravitate towards the other end to prove the latter wrong. Usually it ends up in closed threads, warnings and/or a ban.

This is why I personally feel that deleting the inflammatory posts, deleting the entire thread, delivering infractions on the audist will not help. The moderators have to eradicate the audist and his/her behaviour.

I do not know why misinformation has been a false source of information these days in AD.

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My new nieces/nephews are arriving soon!

shel90

That's where most of my "fights" stem from..when I see someone spreading misinformation whether it is intentional or not, I cant help but fight them until the thread gets locked or I win. I have relaxed more about it but it is so hard not to stay quiet knowing that there is misinformation being spread. I wont specify what or who but just saying that's how I get sometimes. If the mods want me to let it go and let those people continue with that, it will be very very hard for me to refrain from making comments or setting them straight.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

shel90

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

deafskeptic

I think I have a good idea of who's you're talking about. I have strong opinions but I also believe in being civil to others. I have one person (prolly the audist that you have in mind) on ignore because it's been hard for to respond to that person in a civil manner. I realize that not everyone is going to be on the same page as me. As a rule, I'm like let sleeping dogs sleep. This is not a case where dogs should be sleeping though.

It is my impression that this person that I have on ignore is here to troll us. I do not think this person is going to listen to any warnings or temporary bans. I don't think anything short of a perma ban is going to solve anything. I hate to recommend such an action though. I'm open to other solutions.. If all else fails, a perament ban may be what is needed.

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Left ear implanted with Med-El on April 24 2007.
Activated on May 9th.

AlleyCat

I fully agree! I would love to see things change here.

What I don't understand is this post:

You are the very person who has posted depressing threads. Do you think we wanted to hear about kittens being roasted alive in ovens, or your latest thread about drowning dogs in a pool? I hate to say that one person can be reason enough for me to leave this forum, but I have posted very little here since July because I can't stand coming to a forum that is supposed to be more or less deaf-based, and I have to see these kinds of posts you have made a point of posting. There's no way to get around that. And, there is the nitpicking that has gone on as well. I had to say it.

rockin'robin

You know, Alleycat, you've been "on my case" every since I've been here at AD. I'm not the only one who posts threads about abuse of animals, but you like to point me out (It's the 2nd time).

You were given the option to "ignore my post". But it seems out of curiosity, you're still reading them....Why not get on Pinky for her thread of the rape of an 8 day old baby? Isn't that much, much more depressing than animal abuse?

Whether you post or not, I really don't care. I'm sure, almost positive, that if my posts bother anyone, the mods will remove it, and I will apolize. It seems you "do have a personal problem" with me, and I believe it dates back before my being here at AD. I'm not leaving AD, Alleycat! I enjoy my time here, and reading a lot of knowledgeable posts, I just haven't read one of yours.

I suggest you go to the mods and make ur complaint. And I'm asking, again, lay off my case.

CJB

I don't think we should compare depressing posts. How depressing something is is a highly subjective matter.

Jiro

Robin - alleycat was not singling you out. she was just addressing a contradiction in your post that you said you became depressed because of disturbing thread.... and yet you're the one who continue to post disturbing threads.

you know what I'm saying?

btw - even if you're on her ignore list, she can still see the title of the disturbing threads in spy page or subject page.

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sallylou

For me, posts about sexual assault are a PTSD trigger. I would greatly appreciate if whomever posts something like this would put a trigger warning on it. A trigger warning in the subject line would help me avoid it. A trigger warning is commonly added on sexual assault threads and posts on other sites. I'm not trying to blame anyone. I'm just explaining how I feel when I read these posts.

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Happy holidays!

CJB

That's a good idea for a general forum policy. Maybe in the thread titles we can leave the graphic content out and write something like [GRAPHIC] so that members don't have to see the thread titles unless they want to, in which case they can open the thread to see the title in the first post.

jillio

I generally refrain from postings of this nature, but I will certainly keep it in mind for the future. I'm certain you are not the only one here who has that particular trigger.

JennyB

I apologize if my thread was triggering I have the same issue with reading triggering things related to sexual assault. I should have thought to put a warning on my post subject. I am sorry.

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Jenny~B
http://journysofadeafgirl.blogspot.com/

AlleyCat

That is actually a great idea! Mods, what do you think?

I've not been on your case. I have only commented on your threads once prior to this. As for your question about Pinky's post - good question. I wasn't even aware of her thread. Why? Because I haven't been here much. I only visit every few days now because of the very point we're discussing here. And the unfortunate thing about that is that with me not wanting to come here much now, other members here lose out on whatever valuable input I might want to state, especially in the HA/CI sections. I've been deaf all my life and I've contributed a lot to those sections.

(And, FYI, I don't even read the threads you start. Just seeing the titles is enough. And, I am not asking you to leave here, I have never said such.)

JClarke

The world news has gone out of control.

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Cowpuppy

Getting derailed here...at the point where someone targeted a specific person.
anyway.....along the 'freedom of speech' thought, internet sites are private property...people have a lot of vfreedom on internet and come to feel it is a public domain....but a web site is created as a private property and retains rights along with that. Teh right to refuse service to anyone...the right to refuse simple access to anyone. In the same manner that you can't go into someone's home and say anything you want...or a businessproperty...you get booted...the same goes for an internet web site. Private property of which the owners have absolute control to limit speech.
I been backing out cuz is someone just playin a game here. not interested. no I don't like to see misinformation spread...or games.....but admin allowing it so whatever. noone likes a liar. I think it's been made pretty obvious regardless of if the person wants to see it.

deafskeptic

I decided not to post some disturbing threads after someone complained about it in what are you thinking about thread. I can see why some would rather not see those things.

I think different views should be allowed up to a point. if it ends up in flames, nothing productive is being done. I think debating should be done in a civil manner but that doesn't mean one shouldn't address difficult or converstreal matters.

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Left ear implanted with Med-El on April 24 2007.
Activated on May 9th.

Maria

Thanks, Jolie for creatin' this thread that need to be addressed. Jolie, I don't like what I see about ONE ADer that keeps after each ADer in almost every thread. It's like someone is takin' over this forum. I am gettin' tired of seein' that same person doin' that every day. That same person could create a "problem" for others to start backfire, or provokin' or trollin'.
I already told some of them to find elsewhere where it will interest them, but they tell me that I put my words in their mouth...gee, I find it very unfriendly approach. I thought I was just helpin'. I guess my "help" isn't helpin' at all.

I don't like to see one group who jumped in a bandwagon and started throwin' darts against one ADer, if that ADer's opinions/view/etc. is different than theirs. How come they just can't leave it alone and move on to elsewhere instead of bickerin' at that person ? It's like I am watchin' ping pong back and forth. It doesn't matter, if they feel that ADer's informations/or articles are invalid or misinformed or what ever. They should leave it alone and find elsewhere rather than bickerin' at that person for bein' misinformed or what ever they read that person. I mean, come on...just leave that ADer alone, ya know ? It's not necessary to keep pickin' on that person. This AD is NOT high school.

I just don't want ADers to make me to feel that I am NOT part of this family here when they say that I put my words in their own mouth. I don't think it is fair. I was just tryin' to help. I joined here since 2004, I think. I've been around here long enough and some ADers know who I am. I was tryin' to be nice and it is not necessary for some ADers to be mean to me by sayin' like you stated above "Oh, you're not informed. You're ignorant. You know nothing about this."

I supported to some ADers who are tryin' to be nice and explained about their articles when they created their own thread. I can't name names who I supported.

I am glad you created this thread, so I can "vent" a little bit to share with you. Many thanks!

deafskeptic

I do not want this site to be turned into a site like de******** or Deafnotes where only a certain view is tolerated. de******** seems to be a little more tolerant than Deafnotes. For a site to be successful, different views should be tolerated as long as the poster doesn't belittle or otherwise troll others who disagree with him/her and ending up having threads closed.

However, there has to be limits in how posters treat each other. Although I don't think a certain poster got "ganged" upon because of his unpopular views, rather it was because of inconsistencies in his story; I will leave it to the moderators to make judgements on this. It won't be easy. There could be potenial lawsuits from members here. I don't know much about law but someone pointed out there could be potenial legal issues. However, such cases would be difficult to prove. I am referring to claims of stalking and other stuff which I won't mention.

I can think of one deaf liberal who'd be as unpopular as this certain poster for much the same reason why this poster I have in mind isn't popular. Fortunately for us, he is not a poster here.

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Left ear implanted with Med-El on April 24 2007.
Activated on May 9th.

CJB

I think it goes beyond unpopular belief though. There are other posters on this site with similar beliefs that haven't been ganged up on like this particular poster. This particular poster intentionally starts numerous new threads with provoking titles, which is much of the reason why this poster is targeted so much more than the other members of AD with similar views.

deafskeptic

Yep... I can see the Deaf liberal doing much the same thing to us. Luckily, he's not a poster here.

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Left ear implanted with Med-El on April 24 2007.
Activated on May 9th.