Would this offend you?

I was just wondering if there is ever a time to 'assume' someone who is Deaf/deaf needs help? Without them asking for help? I mean I don't want to make anyone feel like I think I'm better or something but I also don't want to be like 'oh, they'd ask if they need help' and ignore someone.
 
Are you able to speak orally at these meetups? I know at the ASL meetups where I live you are not supposed to talk. Perhaps that was one of the rules of the meetup, are there rules posted for the meetup?
 
aspire2greatness said:
I was just wondering if there is ever a time to 'assume' someone who is Deaf/deaf needs help? Without them asking for help? I mean I don't want to make anyone feel like I think I'm better or something but I also don't want to be like 'oh, they'd ask if they need help' and ignore someone.
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If someone is in distress, then sure; that's different.
 
As for out door dancing-free- there is one tonight-HarbourFront close to Lake Ontario.
This Sunday the dance at Mel Lastman square-Yonge Street Toronto will be the final.
Both have live bands.
Only in the summer!
 
VacationGuy234 said:
Are you able to speak orally at these meetups? I know at the ASL meetups where I live you are not supposed to talk. Perhaps that was one of the rules of the meetup, are there rules posted for the meetup?
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No, it's not like it is an official meeting or anything. Normally if another hearing person is there we don't talk orally to eachother but sign to eachother and the rest of the group so as not to be disinclusive or rude, we're really just hanging out. We don't have a set of rules or anything like that or even a regular time when we hang out, usually on the weekends though. The group varies too, it's not always the same people though there are a few regulars I hang out with. This girl isn't one of the regular hearing people that hangout with the group. I met her because I'd sold her some of my earlier ASL learning books I no longer needed but she did for college. I kind of became study buddies with her. She had gone out with me one other hearing person and three deaf people once before this only. It was her second time hanging out with any of "the group".
 
Very nice of someone to offer

I wouldn't be offended at all whatsoever. I don't worry over small things especially small acts of kindness whether it be misunderstood or not. I ALWAYS take up any offer whether viewed as such if its free.. I personally think those who were offended should have laughed and say got hands today, wld be using them thanks for the offer with a smile.:cool2:
 
I wouldn't have a problem with it. I probably would say something cocky though. "You're buying right?" I normally have my other half order and I go find a table. If we are in a group of friends, we normally order together. So I don't have a problem when a friend asks me the same question. If the person asking wasn't my friend however, it would be a different story. "No thank you, I am more than capable!"
 
This reminds me of an incident I went through at a dentist's office. I was at the waiting room. My son was done with his treatment and the hygienist came out to speak with me. The dental hygienist was talking to me about my son's treatment. The communication went ok, I understood her and she understood me. While the hygienist was talking to me, I noticed that she stopped talking and looked behind me. I turned around and saw a woman sitting down waiting her turn at the dentist. She signed, "do you need me to interpret?" I had no clue who she was. I said no.

I don't know how others feel but in my opinion, that was rude. I did not ask her for her help and I was doing fine by myself. She apparently heard my voice and knew I was deaf and interrupted our conversation. I don't know if she is an interpreter or simply a hearing person who knows sign language. I did not think that was right.
 
I think as someone who knows my own limitations, I'd also know to ask if I needed help with understanding someone. If I'm out to eat and I need some help talking with the waitress, ill ask someone I'm with. If I expect to need help (like a dentist/doctors office) ill ask them to write instructions down so I catch it 100%. I'd find it offensive if someone butted in with assistance. I'd find it nice if someone offered if I looked around confused after trial and error.

It reminds me of seeing a movie with my cousin years back. She thought I cared to know the beat of the music in the background... Which had nothing to do with the plot. Well intended... Badly perceived.
 
ChristineNeely said:
I think as someone who knows my own limitations, I'd also know to ask if I needed help with understanding someone. If I'm out to eat and I need some help talking with the waitress, ill ask someone I'm with. If I expect to need help (like a dentist/doctors office) ill ask them to write instructions down so I catch it 100%. I'd find it offensive if someone butted in with assistance. I'd find it nice if someone offered if I looked around confused after trial and error.

It reminds me of seeing a movie with my cousin years back. She thought I cared to know the beat of the music in the background... Which had nothing to do with the plot. Well intended... Badly perceived.
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This last part kind of made me laugh, the closed captionings of movies always say things like "upbeat symphony in back ground" or some other musical description, I get that being kinda helpful/cool to know if you weren't born completely deaf but if you were what does saying a upbeatt orchestra plays matter if the person has no experience, memory or anything etc to relate that too.. kind of like trying to explain the color green to a blind person. :shock:

I suppose from the majority here the deaf friends may have slightly overreacted in the "shunning" of her haha when they didn't need help and weren't struggling but it still wasn't polite really for her to assume they'd all want help ordering either.. also it's okay for me to continue ordering for myself orally unless I were at some specified "no talking" meeting of sorts and after to continue to conversate with them in ASL.
 
GammaRae said:
This last part kind of made me laugh, the closed captionings of movies always say things like "upbeat symphony in back ground" or some other musical description, I get that being kinda helpful/cool to know if you weren't born completely deaf but if you were what does saying a upbeatt orchestra plays matter if the person has no experience, memory or anything etc to relate that too.. kind of like trying to explain the color green to a blind person. :shock:

I suppose from the majority here the deaf friends may have slightly overreacted in the "shunning" of her haha when they didn't need help and weren't struggling but it still wasn't polite really for her to assume they'd all want help ordering either.. also it's okay for me to continue ordering for myself orally unless I were at some specified "no talking" meeting of sorts and after to continue to conversate with them in ASL.
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"Converse"
 
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