This last part kind of made me laugh, the closed captionings of movies always say things like "upbeat symphony in back ground" or some other musical description, I get that being kinda helpful/cool to know if you weren't born completely deaf but if you were what does saying a upbeatt orchestra plays matter if the person has no experience, memory or anything etc to relate that too.. kind of like trying to explain the color green to a blind person.
I suppose from the majority here the deaf friends may have slightly overreacted in the "shunning" of her haha when they didn't need help and weren't struggling but it still wasn't polite really for her to assume they'd all want help ordering either.. also it's okay for me to continue ordering for myself orally unless I were at some specified "no talking" meeting of sorts and after to continue to
conversate with them in ASL.