Would like to end a relationship....

VacationGuy234 said:
I disagree. When you date someone it is NOT just about you and how you feel. Yes, it's not honest to stay with someone you don't want to be with, but life isn't that nice and neat. You have a responsibility for how you interact with other people and you have to be an adult and deal with things in an adult way. An adult is not a child and is not allowed to leave the sand box whenever he/she feels like it.

If he is dating someone else then he needs to end it now, but that has nothing to do with honesty, it has to do with righting a wrong.
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I said it BETWEEN TWO people . The guy and his g/f. Breaking up is hard any time of the year. I disagree with you! WTF are taking about ,breaking up before a holiday has nothing to do with bring an adult or not. I said he should he should tell his g/f right now how he feel , which is he want to break up. You did not read my comment right in #14.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I said it BETWEEN TWO people . The guy and his g/f. Breaking up is hard any time of the year. I disagree with you! WTF are taking about ,breaking up before a holiday has nothing to do with bring an adult or not. I said he should he should tell his g/f right now how he feel , which is he want to break up. You did not read my comment right in #14.
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I did read the comment. Here's what I'm talking about, let me break it down for you..

If your girlfriend bought presents for you, NEWS FLASH, you've committed to xmas(you shouldn't have waited so long). Another NEWS FLASH, it's not BETWEEN TWO people if you've been invited to dinner at someone's house and they buy stuff for you too.

If the she did something that caused someone to leave, that would be different, but I see no evidence of it.
 
I think if your so unhappy in this relationship she definitely knows!!! I would much rather someone breakup with me then ruin my holiday with my family and friends by being withdrawn and grumpy. To stay in a relationship just because someone has bought you gifts is so much worse then breaking up with them IMO.

I am pretty certain if your so miserable, she will be relieved when all of this is over. Why do you have all the control in this relationship? Talk to her and tell her how miserable you are and let her decide if she wants to end things along with you or if she thinks you two might want to work on things to see if that may help.
 
I did happen to break up someone two days before Christmas (Yes, I know, I'm bad bad boy) but I have few reasons. You know Christmas holiday are the busiest time of the year and I have surmountable pressure involving with her, my job, and such. When I talk to her about planning, and somehow I got really frustrated with her and just suddenly I break up with her. In some way it relieves pressure dealing with her so I can focus on other things easier.

So, one way that some people can wait till after holiday and some couldn't tolerate and just sudden tick off to break up.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
I did read the comment. Here's what I'm talking about, let me break it down for you..

If your girlfriend bought presents for you, NEWS FLASH, you've committed to xmas(you shouldn't have waited so long). Another NEWS FLASH, it's not BETWEEN TWO people if you've been invited to dinner at someone's house and they buy stuff for you too.

If the she did something that caused someone to leave, that would be different, but I see no evidence of it.
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So you would go to someone house to get gifts from them knowing that you'll never being seeing them again? WOW what a winner you're! No one know what is going on between the OP and his g/f , I know I would pissed off as HELL if a guy told me after Xmas he breaking up with me and I just gave him some gifts! I would want my money back. And how do you think the people at the dinner will feel knowing they just given gifts to the OP
and he broke up with his g/g right after the Xmas? I bet most people would feel very used and upset about this.
 
Angel1989 said:
I think if your so unhappy in this relationship she definitely knows!!! I would much rather someone breakup with me then ruin my holiday with my family and friends by being withdrawn and grumpy. To stay in a relationship just because someone has bought you gifts is so much worse then breaking up with them IMO.

I am pretty certain if your so miserable, she will be relieved when all of this is over. Why do you have all the control in this relationship? Talk to her and tell her how miserable you are and let her decide if she wants to end things along with you or if she thinks you two might want to work on things to see if that may help.
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in bold, this is an excellent, clear and simple, bear this one in mind when weighing a time to break up , Better to TALK now than later...

likie if you really feel this way, dont let the christmas become a bad reminder, get it Out of the equation, QUICK!!
 
And also a good reminder...keep all your gift receipts!...In case you might want to take them back and get a refund....
 
WDYS!'s comments made sense because Derek's GF's family might buy Xmas presents for him already so if he plans to break up with her after Xmas, her family would think "WTF? We just got him presents.". Therefore WDYS!'s advice for Derek is to let his GF know honestly about his feeling toward her NOW, not later.
 
It seems that you spent quite a bit of time trying to find reasons to break off the relationship and now you are looking for reasons to carry it on a little longer. When a relationship is not right, when it is no longer working, postponing ending it does not soften the blow nor is it the more 'adult' thing to do. The only thing you have to consider is, have you been honest with her in all you have said and done with her? If not (which I suspect is the case here), you owe her a good open heart-to-heart onversation. You need to figure out what your true feelings are about both her and a full-on committed relationship then share those feelings with her. There is no truly 'right' or 'perfect' time to end a relationship but, when you spend a lot of time looking for fault in her behaviour in order to end it or occasions on the calendar not to end it, then it's pretty clear the time is now.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
You disagree, fine, but, if you can't see the logic in it, you're never going to have an adult relationship.



Re-phrase: That's fair, but just make sure you give him back his as well.
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I have had of plenty of adult relationships and I how would I be getting any gifts if the guy broke up with me before Xmas?? Are you for real?? Why the HELL would anyone want to stay in a relationship when they no longer care for the other person?? I would not want to be with a guy that no longer cared about me and I could give a crap if it a holiday or not! I am being more logic than you will ever be! If you can't handle a breakup and need to be treated like a kid and lies to you got problems . I would not want any guy to be with me just to put a show on other people.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
If you can't handle a breakup and need to be treated like a kid and lies to you got problems
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If you need to get the money back, it really is more about getting even and keeping score than having a relationship, that is being a kid. Having a relationsihp isn't about winning, losing or keeping score. It's about being there for that person in a time of need. You're partner is not your adversary nor are they someone you can just bully. The only thing you should ask your partner for is respect. You don't leave your job the second you don't like it and you don't leave a relationship the second you don't like it, it's that simple. There is a time and a place for everything.

Obviously, this is personal to you, but the OP needs advice and if you don't like the advice that's OK.
 
I thank everyone for advices from both sides. They're very much appreciated. I learn valuable informations from both sides.
 
no one likes to spend time with someone who is such a hypocrite at some point in time.
 
I had numerous breakup with my ex-boyfriends in my pasts hard tell you explain!

But they now i had boyfriend Marshall of six months but he and me never breakup,argue and lots of mores but he and me always trust each other talk on facebook everyday..
 
VacationGuy234 said:
If you need to get the money back, it really is more about getting even and keeping score than having a relationship, that is being a kid. Having a relationsihp isn't about winning, losing or keeping score. It's about being there for that person in a time of need. You're partner is not your adversary nor are they someone you can just bully. The only thing you should ask your partner for is respect. You don't leave your job the second you don't like it and you don't leave a relationship the second you don't like it, it's that simple. There is a time and a place for everything.

Obviously, this is personal to you, but the OP needs advice and if you don't like the advice that's OK.
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I guess that you don't know what love is. Can you imagine that when your girlfriend bought you a 50 inches TV for Xmas, she would feel like a fool after you tell her that you are breaking up with her when Xmas is over? That's an act of hypocrisy, not an act of love or respect.
 
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If I plan to break up, I would have to change FB into "Me only" that nobody would aware of what happen when I update during late night. Leave it for next 24 hours and resume back to FB activate.
 
CrazyPaul said:
I guess that you don't know what love is. Can you imagine that when your girlfriend bought you a 50 inches TV for Xmas, she would feel like a fool after you tell her that you are breaking up with her when Xmas is over? That's an act of hypocrisy.
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I'm sure all those people who break up with cancer patients wake up everyday feeling guilt free because there is no hypocrisy in what they did too.

READ the post, it's already known she bought the gifts.

And, LOVE, isn't a 50 inch TV!

You want to know how you avoid making your ex feel like a fool? You don't get in that position in the first place and then back out because it's not convenient for you while disguise it as averting hypocrisy.
 
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