For a few years since I started looking, slowly and slowly I began to hate singlehood and myself for being single. It wasn't working out so I changed my attitude and accepted singlehood and actually embraced it, being happy about who I am and accepting the fact that I will live the rest of my life being single. Even though that's not what I truly want inside, I'm willing to face the truth to the end my days. Then this year, I met one of the most amazing ladies I've ever met and she changed the way I see things, made me even more happier about myself. I was like, wow.....all this time I've been missing out on this!? I so loved being a boyfriend and it was my first time. Yes, I've made my share of mistakes and was all too eager to learn everything I could to be the best possible guy for her. I really wanted to develop the relationship and create new memories with her. When push comes to shove, it became too much and then we lose the relationship that was very special to me. We're still friends but things will never be the same like before. It's very scary to me to come to terms with that and I'm actually struggling to deal with this part. The part about not being able to see her the same way since I think very highly of her.
As of now, I get sick to my stomach knowing that I'm single again and it's a very harsh reality for me to accept it. There were moments when I wanted to end it all and forget about it, but I stuck around knowing that there's so many people that care about me and that the world still needs me. Hopefully, I will find a way to get stronger and move on.
And yes, once again, welcome me to the "singles boat"
I wish had a man 
