Was I a little harsh?

rockin'robin

rockin'robin

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 22, 2007
Messages
24,433
Reaction score
544
School started here last week....kids are getting "back on schedule"....early to bed, early to rise".....

My 15 yr. old is in his 1st yr. of H.S. (9th)...has to get up at 6-6:15AM...school bus stop is approx. 4-5 blocks away, bus arrives at 6:41....

He's woke up late twice this week....the 1st time, I took him to school, it's about 1.5 miles away....cautioned him NOT to turn the alarm off on the clock, and to get up and get going....

Well, he did it again!....so, yes I was angry! Since I have to get my other son off for school also.

So I told him...."ur bike is out back...hop on it and get going"!...And he did, no complaints!...The football game was on the night before, so he went to bed late! And overslept....however, I did tell him he better not get up late the next morning!

Around 9AM....I felt awful! Called the school and talked with the Dean. MY son arrived at school "safely" on his bike, and the Dean even said that some students have to even walk or ride bikes 1.5 miles anyway!

He even rode his bike back home!....Acting like it was "no big deal"! And surprised that I had a "special" snack for him when he went into the kitchen.

I feel as if he's in high school now, and I can't spoil him too much! Was I too harsh on him? Should I have taken him to school anyway?

What do you think?
 
I am 16, and I've done my fair share of sleeping in on school days. My situation was a little different, however, as I would turn off my alarm clock in my sleep without realizing that I had to get up to go to school. My parents, knowing what had happened, were pretty lenient. But when it happened more than just "a couple" of times they told me that the next time it happened I would have to bike to school (about a 7 kilometre bike ride). That got me thinking about solutions to my problem, and so I placed my alarm clock further from my bed so I couldn't turn it off in my sleep. I guess I just needed that little kick in the butt. Hopefully this was your son's kick in the butt... so I really don't think it was too harsh.

Also, I know this is off topic, but I am surprised that this is your son's first year of high school (@ 15). I was 14 when I started high school and I am 16 and going into my 3rd year (grade 11).
 
Loghead said:
I am 16, and I've done my fair share of sleeping in on school days. My situation was a little different, however, as I would turn off my alarm clock in my sleep without realizing that I had to get up to go to school. My parents, knowing what had happened, were pretty lenient. But when it happened more than just "a couple" of times they told me that the next time it happened I would have to bike to school (about a 7 kilometre bike ride). That got me thinking about solutions to my problem, and so I placed my alarm clock further from my bed so I couldn't turn it off in my sleep. I guess I just needed that little kick in the butt. Hopefully this was your son's kick in the butt... so I really don't think it was too harsh.

Also, I know this is off topic, but I am surprised that this is your son's first year of high school (@ 15). I was 14 when I started high school and I am 16 and going into my 3rd year (grade 11).
Click to expand...

Depends on ur birthday...his is in July and (last month) he turned 15....and ur "solution" was excellent!...As my son told me "I don't even remmy turning the alarm off"!...I'm hoping I've nipped the problem in the bud!....If not, I'll buy him 2 more alarm clocks!...He's a good kid, plays football also. And the bike ride of 1.5 miles was good exercise....(but, good lord, I couldn't do it!)
 
Harsh how?

Nothing to worry about. Another small step towards being a guy out in the world taking care of himself. You did exactly the right thing. Sounds like a good kid maybe about ready for a parttime job so he can buy a car and date girls.
 
I was riding my bike to school a mile. Everyday when I was in 3rd grade.

Harsh? Nah!!

He is a big boy now R.R.
 
I used to ride my bike for about a mile to school daily when I was in elementary school. The exercise would do him good. Time for him to take responsibility for himself. I know it is hard to get up on time especially after going to bed late the night before. Not easy but many of us have to do it so he will have to learn.

You did a good job.
 
Quoting one of your sentences:

He even rode his bike back home!....Acting like it was "no big deal"! And surprised that I had a "special" snack for him when he went into the kitchen.
Click to expand...

I'm not a mother... but I know how rewarding it can feel if you compliment him on doing it all on his own (no matter how a child is!!!). By your sentence I seriously doubt you were being harsh on him. He seemed to not have bothered that much after all. ;) As long as the ride he is supposed to take is not a dangerous one, let him take the bike if it makes him feel more independant instead of bus. I think that would also be something you could discuss with him... bus or bike to go to school?

If he uses road, also remind him rules that are to apply on road just in case...

:hug: JL
 
I don't think you've been harsh at all. The best thing we can teach our children is that there are consequences for their actions. At 15, he should be able to rise to an alarm clock and recognize he has obligations to get up and get to school.
My daughter, who is now 21, also slept in several times. The first occassion, I was compassionate and rushed around to help her get to school on time. The second and third times, I continued with my morning and allowed her to figure out how to get to school.
My rules were, you sleep in.. you figure it out. If you're late for school on several occassions, then my job as a parent is to put in limitations to ensure you get enough sleep and can get up on time for school. That meant earlier curfew and earlier bedtime. She caught on quickly and it became routine for her to get up with alarm and get to school on time.
As I'm a big believer in Positive reinforcement... as she continued to be up on time, I allowed her to set her own schedules with bedtimes and be responsible for her own behaviour. It encouraged her to continue to make wise choices and be responsible for herself.
Riding a bike to school is healthy exercise. It sounds as if your son is a great kid, just learning independance, boundaries and responsibilities. I think you handled it great!

Good Luck with it. Raising kids is never easy.
 
robin - not at all! you're pretty much doing what most moms, including my mom, did :lol:

and yes I was notorious for waking up late. at that time, there was no vibrating clock (or we just never heard of it at that time) so I relied on my mom to wake me up. I did walk/ride bike to school since it was only about a mile or so. Later - I formed my own "biker gang". We would wake up a little early to go to each friend's house to "carpool" together on bikes. It was great fun :cool2:

later - we did it on rollerblade
 
No, your a mom who wants the best for her son. That means that you're going to feel guilty sometimes, and your child is going to become angry with you at times. I have an 15 YO son, too, so I understand. FWIW, 10th grade is going better so far. 9th grade is a transition year and it can be difficult adjusting (for both your son and you!). It sounds like your son is a good kid who has normal teenage issues that all of us moms deal with.

Let your son suffer the consequences of his behavior and choices while the consequences are small. I'm very happy that my son's public charter school has added new policies this year. If a student doesn't have his homework to turn in, the student has to stay after school that day to complete the homework. The student must call his parent and ride the late bus home. If a student fails to do that, the student must go go to school on Saturday 9 a.m. until noon (positively evil!). I'm loving it! So far, every assignment completed and turned in. I don't have to be such a nag and keep checking the online grade book now (which tells me about uncompleted assignments long after the fact). Yea for consequences! :applause:

Keep up the good work!:applause:
 
Nah, you are doing fine. My kids have not yet reach to 15 years old. I remember My mom used to tell kids who attends to high school and its their responsibies to take care of themselve except mom only can wake them up. thats all she can do because she had to leave for work so early. Sometimes i was all alone waiting for bus to come and picked me up when i was 14. If i were you, i would do the same thing to my kids if they are teenagers. :D
 
Despite the circumstances, your kid sounds like a typical teen, something they should be responsibly aware of will slip by them at times. :lol: You were not harsh at all! Growing up as a military dependent, I was supposed to wake up at 0500 hours, or face what consequences oversleeping soldiers will face. The same discipline was reinforced to make sure I was and stayed in school, excell in in sports and the classroom, etc. The point is to let them think for themselves, just like you did - but keep a calm but firm grip when communicating.
 
Robin, I don't feel that 1.5 miles is a long bike ride to school. In fact he might get to school as fast as walking 4-5 blocks to bus stop as you had mentioned. Plus thats good conditioning for football. the coach would thank you, LOL.
 
There's this alarm clock...I have to find it again and I'll send you the link, when it goes off it actually rolls off the nightstand and rolls around the room so your son has to GET OUT of bed to go and turn it off. If your interested of cours
 
Oh no! No way, you were being harsh. You're the mom.

I have a 14 years old and he's in his 9th grade also, he walks to school with his best friend everyday, that's what he wants. He hates riding the bus.
 
riding with Dad

I remember only one time my Dad driving me to school- we did not have a mother in the house- it was wayyy too much face time with Dad. I was much happier walking, running, and riding the bike. When the school bus started happening I was just starting 4th grade. I rode it once and said to myself this is total bullshit I hate this and I raced the bus to school for the next three years. Sometimes I won sometimes it did. No one knew about this competition- I never talked about it.
The time Dad drove me, the front tire on my bike had completely worn out and I did not have another one. My idea was and I remember thinking this,"well
why not just take the tire off and ride it on the rim." Well it was a little bit bumpy but not enough to stop me. I was used to being a little different so I paid no attention to all the jibes from the my fellow students. Somehow I think Dad must have noticed - he drove me that day to tell me hey that is really dumb your embarrassing me and I don't want to you dumpster diving anymore either. Damn the bad luck busted by Dad for being too weird. This was Alaska in the 60's.... smiles
 
take his lightbulbs away if it is keeping him up all night :)

when we were younger, we lived TOO far away from the school to even walk (it is about 25 minute or so drive)... Mom had to drive us but at the whole time she fussed at us too LOL She didn't even bother dressing up sometimes... so she would drop us off in her messy hair and PJ. in front of the high school kids LOL
 
Lighthouse77 said:
take his lightbulbs away if it is keeping him up all night :)

when we were younger, we lived TOO far away from the school to even walk (it is about 25 minute or so drive)... Mom had to drive us but at the whole time she fussed at us too LOL She didn't even bother dressing up sometimes... so she would drop us off in her messy hair and PJ. in front of the high school kids LOL
Click to expand...

:giggle: :giggle: .....I've done that too! :eek3:....My boys asked me to "drop them off" a half block from the school".....Throwing on my old, beat-up robe and my hair sticking up! But I wore sunglasses, hoping not to be reognized!....Got stuck in traffic on the way back too!....Definitely not a "pretty sight".
 
Frisky Feline said:
haha thats funny.

i suppose, having the talk with him will clear up things between you guys.
Click to expand...

Yeah....so far! First, I suggested to him to move the alarm clock farther down, so he cannot reach it in the AM while he is half asleep and cut it off...

He's been "on time" ever since he had to bike to school....And I told him if this solution doesn't work, then I'll get him another alarm clock and set it for 5 minutes after the first one goes off.....(in case he does shut the first alarm off), the 2nd alarm will ring 5 minutes after.)....

Thks so much for all the suggestions here! I'm sure there might be other days when he will wake up late!....But that "old trusty bike" awaits in the back yard.....along with my fussing "Get Up"!...ur late!...Maybe beating on a pot might help!....(He's not deaf!)

Up and atta' boys! Time waits for no man....
 
Back
Top