Unsafe at home being deaf

MandyCare said:
Its my place and I allowed him to stay with me as he was having issues with his mother. His father isnt home much, he travels for work for weeks on end. I was happy to help out for a couple of months it has now been 18 months. I am only asking for communication when someone comes home.
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I totally understand how you feel. And I thought that is what is going on. I have seen this happen so many times. Someone let their partner's teenage kid move in for a 'few months' and the kid end up staying for years . I am with you 100% and don't listen to what everyone else is saying. You should feel safe in your house at any time of the day and not have to worry leaving the door open while taking a shower. I really think you need to tell your partner that his son has to go live with his mother or find another place. The son has overstayed waaay too long. And remind your partner that you said his son could stay for
"couple of months" not 18 months.
 
Wirelessly posted (Blackberry Bold )

Ok, I don't understand.
Why don't you just get a doorbell and attatch it to a signaller that will flash lights or "page" you whenever the dorbell rings. Then just ask everyone to Ring the bell as they enter the house (ie unlock the door, ring bell, walk in).

Even hearing people don't always hear prople moving around in a house ...
 
agree with the OP to some extent. If you are home alone, he should definitely let you know he is there. If I am home alone, my mom knows to come and let me know someone else is in the house (dont want anyone to get hurt by me thinking there is an intruder in the house)
 
tigersharkdude said:
agree with the OP to some extent. If you are home alone, he should definitely let you know he is there. If I am home alone, my mom knows to come and let me know someone else is in the house (dont want anyone to get hurt by me thinking there is an intruder in the house)
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I think the part I have added the bold to is the true issue and the kid should be told about this. He might well understand better if he stops to think about it that way.
 
tigersharkdude said:
agree with the OP to some extent. If you are home alone, he should definitely let you know he is there. If I am home alone, my mom knows to come and let me know someone else is in the house (dont want anyone to get hurt by me thinking there is an intruder in the house)
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Yes, that's the case in my family, too. (Not that any of us would take the other out as an intruder :) but there's always a casual 'hey, I'm home, honey'). We always poke our heads in to wherever someone is and let them know we're off or just come in.

But I think the complication here is that she also wants privacy, and doesn't want him coming into her room or coming up behind her to say he's there or headed out to the backyard for a bit (especially if she's 'casually' clothed). Seems like she needs something at a distance. I really like the lights / light alarm approaches. Especially if there's a central place that she doesn't have to go out of her way to find.
 
Wirelessly posted

It has to work both ways. There should be common courtesy on both sides. When having males in the house other than your partner, then modesty on your part should be expected. As for your partner's son, texting you when he gets home is courtesy on his part in any circumstance - it is simply co-inhabitance. Ie: my daughter always texts me whenever she gets home late from work, just so I don't have to wait up for her and not worry about whether she got home safely or not.



P.s. him being hearing, probably has not realized that texting is your way of communicating. He probably more than likely thought 'she can't hear so no point in calling out 'hey I'm home'.'
 
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Anij said:
Wirelessly posted (Blackberry Bold )

Ok, I don't understand.
Why don't you just get a doorbell and attatch it to a signaller that will flash lights or "page" you whenever the dorbell rings. Then just ask everyone to Ring the bell as they enter the house (ie unlock the door, ring bell, walk in).

Even hearing people don't always hear prople moving around in a house ...
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What good is that going to when the OP is taking a shower???

I was trying to sell my condo and the realtor came over when I was taking a shower and I did not hear the door bell or knocking on the door and a flashing light would had been useless. I was just about to walk into my living and saw my door opening and I had to yell that I just came out of the shower.
 
BecLak said:
Wirelessly posted

It has to work both ways. There should be common courtesy on both sides. When having males in the house other than your partner, then modesty on your part should be expected. As for your partner's son, texting you when he gets home is courtesy on his part in any circumstance - it is simply co-inhabitance. Ie: my daughter always texts me whenever she gets home late from work, just so I don't have to wait up for her and not worry about whether she got home safely or not.



P.s. him being hearing, probably has not realized that texting is your way of communicating. He probably more than likely thought 'she can't hear so no point in calling out 'hey I'm home'.'
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I disagree, it is the OP house and should be able feel comfortable in her own house! The OP said she only planning on having the son stay at HER house for 2 months not live there for 18 months. Her partner is taking advantaged
of her kindness. He allowing his son to stay there longer than agreed on and he having the OP babysit his son when he is gone most of the time. I would change the locks and say good riddance to both of the guys!
 
whatdidyousay! said:
What good is that going to when the OP is taking a shower???

I was trying to sell my condo and the realtor came over when I was taking a shower and I did not hear the door bell or knocking on the door and a flashing light would had been useless. I was just about to walk into my living and saw my door opening and I had to yell that I just came out of the shower.
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And a text message on a phone that is in the bedroom while she's taking a shower is going to be any better?

And even if the suggestions won't work while she's in the shower, they'll work the other 23-1/2 hours of the day.
 
LoveBlue said:
And a text message on a phone that is in the bedroom while she's taking a shower is going to be any better?

And even if the suggestions won't work while she's in the shower, they'll work the other 23-1/2 hours of the day.
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No a text would work when you're in a shower, what would work is for the son to move out as he been there more than 2 MONTHS!! Is that so hard to understand. I would really upset if someone stayed in my home over a year then I ONLY said they could stay TWO MONTHS!
 
whatdidyousay! said:
No a text would work when you're in a shower, what would work is for the son to move out as he been there more than 2 MONTHS!! Is that so hard to understand. I would really upset if someone stayed in my home over a year then I ONLY said they could stay TWO MONTHS!
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She's not asking how to kick him out. Yes, he has stayed longer than she thought he would, but it's not our place to say kick him out because we don't know the whole story of why he's still there.
Can you offer suggestions on how she can get him to let her know when he's in the house...what she is asking?
 
Well...If he has a key, then he can come and go at will...I don't give my house keys out...Only my boys have them...Plus, being the only female in the house, I do keep my clothes on or my Robe....and expect the same from the boys.

Sorry to say, but when someone else has a key, then you need to keep ur clothes on, shut the bathroom door and lock it whenever taking a shower....And at times, I've locked the top lock on my door, and that way nobody can get in...so another top lock without a key and can't be opened from the outside is an option.....And they would have to ring the door bell that has a light, plus my doggie barks....

You can ask the boy to flip the light switch off and on also...give you warning that he is in the house.....

As for going around naked in the house, I would keep it to my bedroom, and of course, lock the door...gotta remember that someone else has a key, and it isn't ur boyfriend/husband....and the same will apply whenever you have children in the home.....
 
whatdidyousay! said:
What good is that going to when the OP is taking a shower???

I was trying to sell my condo and the realtor came over when I was taking a shower and I did not hear the door bell or knocking on the door and a flashing light would had been useless. I was just about to walk into my living and saw my door opening and I had to yell that I just came out of the shower.
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Actually in my home there is a strobe signaller in the bathroom, living areas, bedroom etc ... basically anywhere I can tell that someone is phoning/ringing the door/general sound signaller is going off (oven/baby etc) etc.

It's VERY simply and fairly inexpensive to set up a whole home system that runs off the electric outlets ... I have 5pieces (lasted for 15years so far) which over the entire home.

The bottom line is that regardless if you live alone, or with others, you have to set up a home that works for YOU. For me that means making my home deaf friendly (even when I lived alone).

I have Sonic Alert signallers (transmitters and receivers) which let me know what important sounds are going on. I also use common sense when it comes to locking bathroom doors when showering, closing bedroom doors if I want privacy etc.

For those needing to be alerted while in their bedroom (without having a person open the door), it's very easy to install a wireless doorbell for that door.


I'm going to be blunt - whining about how people don't always do a perfect (or even a good) job of alerting you in the way you want that they are entering the place they live (full or part time) isn't productive. Set up your home so that it's deaf friendly, and then it becomes MUCH easier for others to alert you in a reasonable way.

There's no way I'd be texting my mum every time I got to the front door of a home in which I lived - even part-time - and then waited around on the steps until she texted back saying "ok, come in" (which I 'd have to do, since if I didn't wait to get her text, how would I know I wasn't going to "surprise" her).
 
Anij can you provide some more information on the alert system you have. Sounds exactly what I am looking for. Is it easy to install? One time I got out of the shower and both my girls were standing in my kitchen. Yes scared the crap out of me. Also if I am doing the dishes and hubby comes home that can freak me out also. He now flicks the lights on and off. Also my dog is really good at alerting me. When I am upstairs that is where I need an alert system. I appreciate any help you can provide.
 
Heres my thoughts, even though this is your house I do agree with what Robin says. Want to be naked? just hang out in your bedroom and close the door. If the tables were turned would you want to see the 18 yr old walking around naked? I wouldn't think so. Yes it is your house and the kid is staying there with you.

When I had a roommate, I only walked around naked in my bedroom, period that was my sanctuary and my part of the place. So make that your "me" time. If its too much of a conflict, than perhaps talk about other living arrangements or rent being paid.
 
Angel1989 said:
Anij can you provide some more information on the alert system you have. Sounds exactly what I am looking for. Is it easy to install? One time I got out of the shower and both my girls were standing in my kitchen. Yes scared the crap out of me. Also if I am doing the dishes and hubby comes home that can freak me out also. He now flicks the lights on and off. Also my dog is really good at alerting me. When I am upstairs that is where I need an alert system. I appreciate any help you can provide.
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Just go to Sonic Alert and they list a number of individual items as well as "packages" ... I got mine from my audiologist, however you can order them directly from the company.

They are VERY easy to install - all you do is plug them into a standar wall outlet - I recommend using a surge protector unit meant for electronics (TVs stereos, etc) for each unit as well to prevent any "electric noise" which can cause false triggering).

Once you plug them in, they just work ... you only need one transmitter per "sound" (door, phone, etc) and then can get multiple "receivers" - all of which will "listen" to the transmitter and flash if triggered.

The other company is AlertMaster - they have a similar system, as well as an additional feature of a pager that you can wear that is tactile ... this is great for those with Ushers.

I'd look at both products, talk to your audie and then see what works best for you (you might be able to try a system for a few days).


My Sonic Alert system alerts me of:
Phone (land line) / Security entrance system (apt)
Doorbell

I also have a Sonic Alert, Sonic Boom Alarm clock with receiver - this "listens" for the doorbell, phone etc as well as alerting me to the alarm clock.

I also have a few stand alone strobe receivers in places like the kitchen and bathroom which "listens" and alerts for everything (phone, door, etc).

The systems are very easy ... I can't imagine living without them because they really aren't that expensive (you don't have to buy a whole system at once, you can add as needed), they last a long time and make my home totally deaf friendly.


Hope that helps.
 
Anij thank you. I have been waiting for my hubby to do this, but it has been over a year now. I do not feel safe in my own house. I worry about a fire when I sleep upstairs after hubby leaves for work so I always come downstairs at 5:30am.

Did you get your system for free through your Audi? My Audi never has mentioned anything that can help me. I don't mind paying for it, I just want a system ASAP. Thanks!!!
 
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