Two things that happened this week that made me mad and really think...

[Litefyre]

Great opinion

Hi shel90, I'm a college student in Michigan going into medicine. I'm currently doing a research paper on understanding deafness and would like your permission to use your post as a reference for my paper. I decided to research this paper because I learned ASL early due to my brother being deaf, but since he CAN communicate orally, the rest of my family decided not to learn ASL. It brought me closer to him than anyone can imagine, because I would be the only one who could go along with him to deaf gatherings. What sparked my anger was when my brother got married. His wife is completely deaf and still nobody in our family made an effort to learn ASL for my brother and his wife. They just had a baby girl, and she is completely deaf as well. Now about half of our family is "attempting" to learn ASL. When I asked my brother how he felt, he told me he was happy they are trying for his baby, but he is upset that they wouldnt try for him or his wife. I decided to try and help others understand that deafness isnt a handicap, (I've seen my brother do everything I ever have, including playing an instrument) but it is very difficult to go through completely isolated from the majority of your family.

Thanks for the great post, it really made me stop and think.
Daron

 

[jillio]

hmm... That is eaiser said than done. Just look through this message board in the CI section. There is a whole lot of "mis-information" out there too.. I feel for the parents faced with the decision and also think that after they wade through all of it they are probably more confused than educated. Some say there advantages, some say there aren't. Some say the younger the better and some say it doesn't matter. Some say get the perspective of the deaf community and we know how well that goes over in a communitiy divided on the issue. For me, the more I understand the more I realize how much I don't know.

Of course, any information you will receive will be biased to acertain degree toward the particular philosophy that fits the group. That is is why it is so very inportant to gather all the information possible, allow for biases, and then make decisions on which fits your particular circumstances.

 

[rockdrummer]

I decided to try and help others understand that deafness isnt a handicap, (I've seen my brother do everything I ever have, including playing an instrument) but it is very difficult to go through completely isolated from the majority of your family.
Thanks for the great post, it really made me stop and think.
Daron

Litefyre. There are a couple of other threads on the topic of deafness being a handicap (or not) that may shed some additional perspective for you. I have put links to them below.

My conclusion is that deafness for some is a handicap and for others it's not. It's also clear that the term or label is considered negative by many in the deaf community. Some don't like it and some dont care one way or the other.

I base my conclusion on two factors. (I'm sure there are more that I have not considered.)

1. The definition of handicap and/or disabled. Some fall into this catagory weither they accept the term or not. You can argue all you want on terms (or labels as some say) but you cant ignore the facts and realities.

2. There are many that are (what is considered by most) disabled and / or handicapped that have overcome their condition so as not to be at a disadvantage. It sounds like your brother falls into this catagory. I would not consider those that meet this criteria to be disabled or handicapped. As I mentioned in another thread, If I had a condition that put me at a disadvantage and busted my hump to overcome that condition and someone refered to me as disabled or handicapped, I would be upset because of all of my efforts to overcome. I hope that makes sense.

Does deafness put an individual at a disadvantage (or handicap)? For some it does and for some it doesn't.

Here are the links to the other threads I mentioned.

http://www.alldeaf.com/general-chat/38298-what-considered-disability.html
http://www.alldeaf.com/our-world-our-culture/38216-we-not-disabled.html

 

[deafdyke]

i

think thats why some parents choose the oral route first but hopefully they too will see and learn that sign will be a helpful tool for their child. I see it in my daughters case anyways. I hope nobody here takes offense to how i USED to think,

Not really talking about parents who really have no exposure to real live dhh people. Although I do agree with you that's a HUGE thing...........the parents not really having real live exposure to real live dhh kids. But I do have to say that there seems to be a subtype of oral ONLY (not first) parent who really grieves b/c their kid isn't some high acheiving superfically perfect designer kid. There also seems to be parents out there who totally and completely outrightly reject ASL b/c its got the stigma of being "special needs" and b/c it doesn't seem "normal"

 

[shel90]

I agree with you on the parents learning ASL or making whatever sacrafices are needed to be able to communicate with their child. It is a two way street. Weither you agree or not the majority of people are hearing and if you expect the hearing to accomidate the deaf then you must also make efforts to communicate with the hearing. Again, it's a two way street. The sad reality is that for most hearing people, if they don't have a deaf child, relative or friend. they most likely wont make any efforts to learn to communicate with deaf people. Put youself in the shoes of a hearing person that has never had to deal with deafness on any level. Would you get upset with them if you met them and they were unable to communicate with you?

I met their hearing needs but yet, I still struggled to keep up with everything. It is just physically impossible for me to keep up with large group conversations, to lipread every word being said, and to understand what is happening in class when the teacher is walking around the classroom talking or has his/her back to the class while talking. How can I meet those needs. All I am asking is that some efforts to meet the children's deaf needs. Like u said, it is a two-way street so why not do both? (not u literally)

 

[shel90]

Aw I know the feelings, been there and is going through that myself along with my sister as well too....I guess there nothing we can do to make them see how we really felt even through when we tried so hard to show them, but it goes back to the same old thing as being left out all over again....I guess we just have to accept the fact that it will never change no matter how hard we tried to give them a chance to go half way in this....so yeah it's sucks I guess that explain why some people say life is never that simple....we just have to stuggle on living our life as it is....

I know...*sighs*

 

[shel90]

Hi shel90, I'm a college student in Michigan going into medicine. I'm currently doing a research paper on understanding deafness and would like your permission to use your post as a reference for my paper. I decided to research this paper because I learned ASL early due to my brother being deaf, but since he CAN communicate orally, the rest of my family decided not to learn ASL. It brought me closer to him than anyone can imagine, because I would be the only one who could go along with him to deaf gatherings. What sparked my anger was when my brother got married. His wife is completely deaf and still nobody in our family made an effort to learn ASL for my brother and his wife. They just had a baby girl, and she is completely deaf as well. Now about half of our family is "attempting" to learn ASL. When I asked my brother how he felt, he told me he was happy they are trying for his baby, but he is upset that they wouldnt try for him or his wife. I decided to try and help others understand that deafness isnt a handicap, (I've seen my brother do everything I ever have, including playing an instrument) but it is very difficult to go through completely isolated from the majority of your family.

Thanks for the great post, it really made me stop and think.
Daron

Sure u can use my post as a reference!

I can understand how your brother feels. It is like I am not worthy enough for my family to at least try to learn ASL. I am sure they wont see it that way but I cant help feeling that way. I worked my ass off going to speech classes and everything to speak as well as I do now but I would like to see some effort from them too.

 

[rockdrummer]

I met their hearing needs but yet, I still struggled to keep up with everything.

Interesting perspective Shel. Is it that you have met THIER hearing needs or is it that you have met the need to be able to communicate at some level in a predominatly hearing world?

 

[shel90]

Interesting perspective Shel. Is it that you have met THIER hearing needs or is it that you have met the need to be able to communicate at some level in a predominatly hearing world?

Yes to both but I couldnt physically be able to meet their needs 100% so as a result, I missed out a lot as far as conversations go. Where is their effort to meet MY needs? Sure I am glad I can communicate with hearing people but I would like to see my family to have more sensitivy about my deaf needs. If I was able to meet the hearing needs 100% I would be hearing but no..I am deaf but it seems that my family sees me as a hearing person and can hear like them. It was an ongoing battle and I have given up about 10 years ago. That's why I only stay for 2 hours at family gatherings. I am not gonna give up my whole day just to stare at the walls. That was my whole point.

 

[rockdrummer]

Yes to both but I couldnt physically be able to meet their needs 100% so as a result, I missed out a lot as far as conversations go.

I am guessing you are talking about times where a hearing person has their back turned etc. If that's the case, and the CI thing is all that it's cracked up to be, do you believe having a CI would have bridged that gap?

Where is their effort to meet MY needs? Sure I am glad I can communicate with hearing people but I would like to see my family to have more sensitivy about my deaf needs.

I am hopeful that in todays day and age that the presence of a deaf person would trigger the accomidation of their needs in a public type setting but as far as personal lives, I do agree that family members should be able to communicate with other family members. Here is a very real consideration. Learning to sign is not an easy thing. And it's like everything in life. If you don't use it you loose it. So if family memebers were to learn sign but are not exposed to using it on a regular basis, they will most likely loose those skills. Yes, its not easy and the question is weither you have the time to devote to learning and keeping up the skill through exposure. I don't think that they don't care about family members that are deaf or that they think any less of them, it's more about living already busy lives and the time required to aquire and maintain ASL skills. Now lets take the example of lipreading. If you are able to read lips and all that you expect is for people to face you when they speak, that is an completely different story. There is not a whole lot of effort or skill required to make sure you are aware that a deaf family member is in the room and to face them when you speak. Again, if this CI thing is all that it's cracked up to be, do you feel it would solve that issue?

If I was able to meet the hearing needs 100% I would be hearing but no..I am deaf but it seems that my family sees me as a hearing person and can hear like them. It was an ongoing battle and I have given up about 10 years ago. That's why I only stay for 2 hours at family gatherings. I am not gonna give up my whole day just to stare at the walls. That was my whole point.

Again I find your perspective an interesting one. You have this US and THEM view of deaf needs and hearing needs instead of looking at it as "communication needs" which (I agree) is a two way street. You have to remember that deaf people are the minority (I am sure I will get bashed by someone for that so called "Label") and most hearing people will go through their entire life without even encountering deafness on any level. For them their is no need to bridge the gap. However, in family settings that is a different story. I also understand your frustration having busted your hump to learn to speak and lipread and some of your family won't even face you when they speak so that you can keep up with the conversation. There is no excuse for that.

 

[shel90]

I am guessing you are talking about times where a hearing person has their back turned etc. If that's the case, and the CI thing is all that it's cracked up to be, do you believe having a CI would have bridged that gap?

I am hopeful that in todays day and age that the presence of a deaf person would trigger the accomidation of their needs in a public type setting but as far as personal lives, I do agree that family members should be able to communicate with other family members. Here is a very real consideration. Learning to sign is not an easy thing. And it's like everything in life. If you don't use it you loose it. So if family memebers were to learn sign but are not exposed to using it on a regular basis, they will most likely loose those skills. Yes, its not easy and the question is weither you have the time to devote to learning and keeping up the skill through exposure. I don't think that they don't care about family members that are deaf or that they think any less of them, it's more about living already busy lives and the time required to aquire and maintain ASL skills. Now lets take the example of lipreading. If you are able to read lips and all that you expect is for people to face you when they speak, that is an completely different story. There is not a whole lot of effort or skill required to make sure you are aware that a deaf family member is in the room and to face them when you speak. Again, if this CI thing is all that it's cracked up to be, do you feel it would solve that issue?

Again I find your perspective an interesting one. You have this US and THEM view of deaf needs and hearing needs instead of looking at it as "communication needs" which (I agree) is a two way street. You have to remember that deaf people are the minority (I am sure I will get bashed by someone for that so called "Label") and most hearing people will go through their entire life without even encountering deafness on any level. For them their is no need to bridge the gap. However, in family settings that is a different story. I also understand your frustration having busted your hump to learn to speak and lipread and some of your family won't even face you when they speak so that you can keep up with the conversation. There is no excuse for that.

Like Angel said in another post in another thread, there is no point in fighting it and we just have to live with being left out for the rest of our lives with our families.

All I am saying is that I have accepted it and I would like them to understand why I prefer not to stay for more than 2 hours. That is all.

No matter if people are facing me and I am lipreading them, I will only get maybe 50 to 60% of what is being said. Most of the time I have to ask them to repeat themselves and ohhh not to mention large group conversations. That is another story.

I am a deaf person and I have experienced all those issues personally. Hearing people havent so they really do not know what it is like. It just would be nice if heairng people read about our feelings and experiences and keep them in mind about their own deaf children. That is ALL!

Now, my more serious problem is the deaf kids at my school who are so language delayed because they didnt pick up on spoken language. Now, why is that happening? If CIs are all that cracked up to be, why didnt the CIs work for them too? Thanks to that, they are struggling to learn how to read and write in English when they are just learning ASL too.

There is no US and THEM view...just trying to get people more sensitive to the many different issues that deaf people go thru.

 

[Angel]

Yes to both but I couldnt physically be able to meet their needs 100% so as a result, I missed out a lot as far as conversations go. Where is their effort to meet MY needs? Sure I am glad I can communicate with hearing people but I would like to see my family to have more sensitivy about my deaf needs. If I was able to meet the hearing needs 100% I would be hearing but no..I am deaf but it seems that my family sees me as a hearing person and can hear like them. It was an ongoing battle and I have given up about 10 years ago. That's why I only stay for 2 hours at family gatherings. I am not gonna give up my whole day just to stare at the walls. That was my whole point.

Have you tried going in another room, and sitting there alone or chatting with someone?...

Like for myself, If Im being left out in the group where no one is telling me what they are saying etc, I leave the group and go to another room in the house and sit there alone then few minutes later my sister and Roadrunner joined me and we all chat, then the others will come around and join us too....It seem to work most of the time....

 

[shel90]

Oh Rockdrummer, when I said why cant my family meet MY needs, u probably thought I meant about them learning ASL. It is not only that..it would be nice if they learned ASL but they dont want to..fine...what about be willing to repeat what people are saying so my brother and I know what everyone is talking about instead of saying "never mind" or "I will tell u later"?

 

[Angel]

Oh Rockdrummer, when I said why cant my family meet MY needs, u probably thought I meant about them learning ASL. It is not only that..it would be nice if they learned ASL but they dont want to..fine...what about be willing to repeat what people are saying so my brother and I know what everyone is talking about instead of saying "never mind" or "I will tell u later"?

Right I'm with you on that ....

 

[shel90]

Have you tried going in another room, and sitting there alone or chatting with someone?...

Like for myself, If Im being left out in the group where no one is telling me what they are saying etc, I leave the group and go to another room in the house and sit there alone then few minutes later my sister and Roadrunner joined me and we all chat, then the others will come around and join us too....It seem to work most of the time....

With my family, I usually chat with my brother but they live in AZ so it is not an often thing.

With my husband's family, I tried to chat with one family member one on one but usually they would overhear another conversation and jump right into that other conversation while I am trying to chat with them. Because I dont know what was said in the other conversation, I cant jump right in and if I ask them what are they saying they tell me to wait. Come on..so I dont see any point for me to stay all day. I have no problems working with them and being initiative in trying to stay in the loop of things but after two hours, I am tired. LOL!

 

[rockdrummer]

Like Angel said in another post in another thread, there is no point in fighting it and we just have to live with being left out for the rest of our lives with our families.

Shel, maybe it's not about a fight. Consider this. What if most of your family is not even aware that this is an issue or how you feel about it? Have you ever made your feelings and needs known?

I have a similar problems all the time. Sometimes people speak low while facing opposite of me. Its a problem with hearing people communicating with other hearing people. What I do in those situations is to say;

"I'm sorry but I didn't hear what you said. Could you please repeat."

Most of the time the other person not only faces me but they speak louder. If I were in your shoes I would say;

"I'm sorry, I didn't understand you, I read lips so if you could please face me, I would appreciate it."

Most likely they would face towards you, and annunciate more to help you follow along. You might have to remind them a couple of times before it sinks in.

There is an old saying "The squeaky wheel gets the grease". To me that means; If you don't speak up you will not get any results. Don't feel that you are a victim because of the ignorance of others. Sometimes people just need a reminder. I bet that most of your family would be apologizing and make adjustments once they are aware it's an issue. And Shel, you will most likely have to keep reminding them as I have to when I cant understand someone. That's something we (hearing and deaf) will never be able to stop doing. As a deaf person I'm sure you will encounter this problem far more than I do. I have to believe even people signing to each other will, on occasion, have to ask the other person to repeat, or slow down a bit etc. etc.

All I am saying is that I have accepted it and I would like them to understand why I prefer not to stay for more than 2 hours. That is all.

If you have made attempts to let them know its a problem and you are tired of it and feel that your efforts are futile, then I completly agree with you on that. The best way to make them understand is to tell them something like;

"Hey, I am not sticking around because even though I have done my best to make you aware of my needs, you ignore them. I feel left out and it's no fun for me to sit here and twiddle my thumbs."

I would bet if you told them that, they would apologize and make adjustments. If they didn't, then I would say screw it. I'm done. Shel if you have done your best and get the impression they really don't care then I am in total agreement with you.

Most of the time I have to ask them to repeat themselves and ohhh not to mention large group conversations. That is another story.

When you ask them to repeat themselves is that helpful? Again, you may have to ask them over and over. Some won't get the hint until you nudge them a few times.

I am a deaf person and I have experienced all those issues personally. Hearing people havent so they really do not know what it is like. It just would be nice if heairng people read about our feelings and experiences and keep them in mind about their own deaf children. That is ALL!

Hearing people do experience problems communicating. Granted its no where near the level that deaf folks do but nevertheless we have similar problems. Especially in crowed rooms.

Most hearing people will never experience deafness on any level for their entire lives. It would not be realistic to expect the majority to educate themselves on deaf or other issues that really don't impact them in any way. It would be like asking all deaf people to learn to read and write in brail and sign by feel to accomidate folks that are deaf and blind. It's not realistic to expect that. However, if either group has exposure to those conditions because of family members, co-workers, friends, then they absolutly should do what they can to accomidate communication.

Now, my more serious problem is the deaf kids at my school who are so language delayed because they didnt pick up on spoken language. Now, why is that happening? If CIs are all that cracked up to be, why didnt the CIs work for them too? Thanks to that, they are struggling to learn how to read and write in English when they are just learning ASL too.

Are you saying that problem is with ALL deaf kids at your school? Are there ANY deaf kids at your school that have benefitied from a CI? Are you saying the CI's have failed for ALL of the kids at your school? I agree learning ASL had how to read and write is quite a load on a child. I'm no expert but from what I gather; for profoundly deaf kids (in America), ASL should be the first language. Then use ASL to teach the kids how to read and write proper english.

There is no US and THEM view...just trying to get people more sensitive to the many different issues that deaf people go thru.

I'm sorry if I mis-understood you on that. It was just my impression based on your comments.

 

[shel90]

Shel, maybe it's not about a fight. Consider this. What if most of your family is not even aware that this is an issue or how you feel about it? Have you ever made your feelings and needs known?

I have a similar problems all the time. Sometimes people speak low while facing opposite of me. Its a problem with hearing people communicating with other hearing people. What I do in those situations is to say;

"I'm sorry but I didn't hear what you said. Could you please repeat."

Most of the time the other person not only faces me but they speak louder. If I were in your shoes I would say;

"I'm sorry, I didn't understand you, I read lips so if you could please face me, I would appreciate it."

Most likely they would face towards you, and annunciate more to help you follow along. You might have to remind them a couple of times before it sinks in.

There is an old saying "The squeaky wheel gets the grease". To me that means; If you don't speak up you will not get any results. Don't feel that you are a victim because of the ignorance of others. Sometimes people just need a reminder. I bet that most of your family would be apologizing and make adjustments once they are aware it's an issue. And Shel, you will most likely have to keep reminding them as I have to when I cant understand someone. That's something we (hearing and deaf) will never be able to stop doing. As a deaf person I'm sure you will encounter this problem far more than I do. I have to believe even people signing to each other will, on occasion, have to ask the other person to repeat, or slow down a bit etc. etc.If you have made attempts to let them know its a problem and you are tired of it and feel that your efforts are futile, then I completly agree with you on that. The best way to make them understand is to tell them something like;

"Hey, I am not sticking around because even though I have done my best to make you aware of my needs, you ignore them. I feel left out and it's no fun for me to sit here and twiddle my thumbs."

I would bet if you told them that, they would apologize and make adjustments. If they didn't, then I would say screw it. I'm done. Shel if you have done your best and get the impression they really don't care then I am in total agreement with you.When you ask them to repeat themselves is that helpful? Again, you may have to ask them over and over. Some won't get the hint until you nudge them a few times.Hearing people do experience problems communicating. Granted its no where near the level that deaf folks do but nevertheless we have similar problems. Especially in crowed rooms.

Most hearing people will never experience deafness on any level for their entire lives. It would not be realistic to expect the majority to educate themselves on deaf or other issues that really don't impact them in any way. It would be like asking all deaf people to learn to read and write in brail and sign by feel to accomidate folks that are deaf and blind. It's not realistic to expect that. However, if either group has exposure to those conditions because of family members, co-workers, friends, then they absolutly should do what they can to accomidate communication.Are you saying that problem is with ALL deaf kids at your school? Are there ANY deaf kids at your school that have benefitied from a CI? Are you saying the CI's have failed for ALL of the kids at your school? I agree learning ASL had how to read and write is quite a load on a child. I'm no expert but from what I gather; for profoundly deaf kids (in America), ASL should be the first language. Then use ASL to teach the kids how to read and write proper english.I'm sorry if I mis-understood you on that. It was just my impression based on your comments.

Yep, I did all that to my family and only my mom makes the effort. The rest of them would do good for 5 mins but then get caught up in theconversations and forget. After two hours of asking people over and over again "What did he say...what are u talking about ? What was so funny?...and so many more" I am tired. I get so tired..it is stressful cuz it is not a natural way for a conversation to happen. That is why I am more comfortable in a signing environment cuz it feels more natural and less stress. Also, not to mention, it is more fun for me. I hate not knowing what everyone else is saying and being left out. It gets so boring!!!!

Questions about the students at my school

Many deaf kids of deaf families or from parents who can sign at my school are reading and writing at their age appropriate level while many from hearing parents who do not sign are not. Yes, there are some who do well but it takes a very bright and very motivated child to overcome those odds to peform at their age appropriate level.

We just started our CI program last year so it is still too early to see our students benefiting from the CI solely. Most of the parents placed their kids at our school because they are at their wits ends with the struggles of their child at the public schools. The students who started at our school and stayed there are usually from deaf families or have parents who are fluent in ASL.

Most of the time the children in our parent-infant program with the CIs are usually sent to the public schools when they reach kindergarden level. I am trying to think if any of them continued to stay at our school and can rely on their CIs without signs. As far as I know, all of our older students with CIs have been sent to our school after not doing well in the public school. The kindergarden teacher did mention that the children with CIs are doing well during the spoken English blocks. I will have to ask her more about that and if they can communicate without needing sign language.

Remember that our CI program is new so maybe in a few years, I can have a better answer to your question.


Yes, u can teach children how to read and write through ASL. There are many strategies of bridging both languages and it seems to work fine as long as the child has a strong L1 language appropriate for their age level. If the child is 7 years old and has an L1 language at the 2 year old level, of course, they are not going to be ready to make that transition to reading and writing. Need to develop their L1 language more but due to political reasons, all children MUST pass the standardized tests.

 

[cathartes]

Rockdrummer, imagine this:

Watching a group of people laughing and talking for 15-30 mins or so. You have no idea what they are talking about, or only catching bits and pieces.

You ask someone: What's so funny/what're they talking about?
Person: Oh we're just talking about Aunt Sally's dog. <looks away, laughs at someone's comment>
You get the person's attention again: Ah ok.. what is it about her dog?
Person: It's a very stupid dog. Very stupid.. <chuckles, turns away again>
You: Well? What makes it such a stupid dog?
Person: I'll tell you later/Never mind, it's not important/It's just stupid, no body knows <turns away YET AGAIN..>

Wash, Rinse, Repeat throughout the day with intervals of being ignored if you aren't right there asking them. Occasionally someone breaks away just to ask "How have you been?" but doesn't stick around for long..

Experience that at every family social function, with intervals of "private talks with family about understanding/communication difficulties" in between family socials, yet the above scene repeats unbroken or re-lapses after an effort to "include you".. Combine that with a very different sense of self when you are with different groups of people who speak the same language as you fluently and use it more than willingly with you(not FOR you; WITH you.). The contrast is very tangible. Then visit your family who does that nonsense, I guarantee your nerves will start to feel the effects and start to want to scream against tolerating it anymore..

It took my family many, many years of just dismissing me as "getting mad so easy" but now as an adult with my own freedom it took them until I made comments to invitations to family events like: I don't want to go. Because it's always boring for me- y'all are talking up a storm and I don't know whats going on cuz none of you will talk to me. I'm tired of asking 'what you talking about' every minute. At first they were offended but I would remind them of exact situations that had happened. Also I'd remind them right in middle of their "I'll tell you later.." the shock of realization on their faces was worth being very blunt. They finally faced it and some finally are trying to make some effort such as simply talking to me or voluntarily signing when they are talking to someone else in front of me. Reminding them of my deafness in one way or another never helped all those years until I was very blunt and forceful.

I say, you go, Shel. I understand all too well.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Yes I'm with you all to everything... Yes, it's an exactly how I feeling.

We had through the same as you as well but I didn't forget important one is Danny's christening.

We invited pastor for the Deaf and my hubby's families to attend Danny's Christening party at our house... During coffee conversation, they chatted and laughed... My hubby grew up oral but he can't catch their quick conversation... He asked his mother what they laughed about... her mother said "I will tell you later" and then carried on conversation with others... A pastor saw and interpreted for us what the families talked about... It got mother feel and don't know what should she says when she saw a pastor interpreted for us... and then said that it's good that a pastor can sign... My hubby & I were like eeh? Why can't she learn to sign then?

About my family side... They talked and laughed... my sister interpreted me all the time what they talked about... My family depend on my sister more and more for their "interpreter" since our childhood because she is only one who can sign to me. I lost my sister to drugs last May 2006. After her death, my Dad and brother told me themselves that they feel embarrassed that they didn't learn to sign to communicate with me after saw how bad I am... They tried their best what they can with me... I feel odd and don't know how and what could I carry on like this with my family in the future without my sister. She is the one who always tell me everything... I know everything from her... before she addicted to drugs. I know I depend on my sister more and more because my family didn't want to learn to know me better... My British Dad, brother, his girlfriend, my nephew & niece (my sister's children) will come over to see us for holiday this April and will attend Danny's confirmation. I don't know either they will leave me out during their conversation...? Wait and See.

 

[Opal]

My British Dad, brother, his girlfriend, my nephew & niece (my sister's children) will come over to see us for holiday this April and will attend Danny's confirmation. I don't know either they will leave me out during their conversation...? Wait and See.

Keep finger crossed, hope it will be a successful family reunion soon.

Back to topic,

I feel left out in family conversation all the time, and I am getting used to it, and my sister in laws loves my children so much as I visited them often, she bought some up to dated magazines or DVD with subtitles, for me while I stayed at their houses for dinner, of course three of them know finger-spelling and some sign languages and never met deaf people until I was courting their brother!!

The last time was 6 hours staying at sister-in-law for Christmas meals, as I escaped to watch DVD while they are busy talking we don't mind as long as we are comfortable. I know it is a bit cheeky but it is okay with my family.