Think daughter is audist...

Banjo said:
What? Your daughter actually had the nerve to ask you for your audiogram in order to even consider signing for you?

I'm sorry to say this, but your daughter needs a reality check.
Click to expand...

Hockey style for the bold.
 
saywhatkid said:
Yes. She needs to accept that her daughter is going through a phase. It is very difficult for her, but to have her dance to her child's demands? Where does it end? "Mom, if you buy me a Jeep Cherokee, I will take ASL in university?" :shock:
Click to expand...

So, your advice would be to just let it go? Her daughter is just going through a phase and this is not the right time to bring it up, correct? That may be a valid answer.

I see your point, but she's not asking for a jeep it's audiogram which cost nothing and is of no benefit to her.

If it is a question of power(and I agree with you), the OP is going to lose because the "child" is 18 years old not 12 and what happens in the next few years will dictate how much contact she has with her daughter.

This is a crucial time because her daughter does not have to stick around anymore. I don't think fighting is the answer.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
So, your advice would be to just let it go? Her daughter is just going through a phase and this is not the right time to bring it up, correct? That may be a valid answer.

I see your point, but she's not asking for a jeep it's audiogram which cost nothing and is of no benefit to her.

If it is a question of power(and I agree with you), the OP is going to lose because the "child" is 18 years old not 12 and what happens in the next few years will dictate how much contact she has with her daughter.

This is a crucial time because does not have to stick around anymore. I don't think fighting is the answer.
Click to expand...

Quite obviously, you have no children nor any clue to the dynamics of family relationships.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
So, your advice would be to just let it go? Her daughter is just going through a phase and this is not the right time to bring it up, correct? That may be a valid answer.

I see your point, but she's not asking for a jeep it's audiogram which cost nothing and is of no benefit to her.

If it is a question of power(and I agree with you), the OP is going to lose because the "child" is 18 years old not 12 and what happens in the next few years will dictate how much contact she has with her daughter.

This is a crucial time because her daughter does not have to stick around anymore. I don't think fighting is the answer.
Click to expand...
Costs nothing? If she is insured, and can get the time off to visit the ENT office, then it is financially free. Otherwise, it is a continuation of the mother-daughter development. "Can I have another cookie?" or "Why do I always have to take a bath?" An 18 year old has different issues that bother her. Since she had her brother with her, it might have been a "showing off" deal.

I certainly hope they can resolve this without too much time lost.
 
"Mum, maybe if you give me your hearing test I will consider it."
Click to expand...

1. Why would you? She either WANT to do it or not.
I would say "no I am not going to give you no effing hearing test.
I am deaf, I can't understand speech well, and that's it,
and you are not going to dispute that, EVER!"

2. I was wondering, when you were raising your daughter, did you feel guilty
whenever you couldn't hear her and she was in distress?
sometimes deaf parents overcompensate and apologize when that happens, and this can make children feel entitled to have/do
to what they really shouldn't,
do you think that is what could have happened?

3. You mentioned about some stimulator, I am very interested in this as I have similar problems with my family - while they understand I can't hear well
they don't get the idea what sensori-neural loss mean, I would love to make them "see". Could you point me to the links, please?

Fuzzy
 
saywhatkid said:
Costs nothing? If she is insured, and can get the time off to visit the ENT office, then it is financially free. Otherwise, it is a continuation of the mother-daughter development. "Can I have another cookie?" or "Why do I always have to take a bath?" An 18 year old has different issues that bother her. Since she had her brother with her, it might have been a "showing off" deal.

I certainly hope they can resolve this without too much time lost.
Click to expand...

So do I.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
So, your advice would be to just let it go? Her daughter is just going through a phase and this is not the right time to bring it up, correct? That may be a valid answer.

I see your point, but she's not asking for a jeep it's audiogram which cost nothing and is of no benefit to her.

If it is a question of power(and I agree with you), the OP is going to lose because the "child" is 18 years old not 12 and what happens in the next few years will dictate how much contact she has with her daughter.

This is a crucial time because her daughter does not have to stick around anymore. I don't think fighting is the answer.
Click to expand...

Oh, and bowing down to an 18 year old is the answer? That might very well dictate the mother-daughter relationship for the rest of their lives. I agree with the others -- I don't think you understand family relationships.
 
All those who pointed out about the struggle over the audiogram, it's a good point.

That's really weird. It seems like her daughter wants to take control and make Rebecca jump through hoops.
 
AlleyCat said:
Oh, and bowing down to an 18 year old is the answer? That might very well dictate the mother-daughter relationship for the rest of their lives. I agree with the others -- I don't think you understand family relationships.
Click to expand...

I don't think compromising is bowing down and if you want your grown child to act like an adult you need to treat them as an adult.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
I don't think compromising is bowing down and if you want your child to act like an adult you need to treat them as an adult.
Click to expand...

How many adults demand you give them your audiogram before they make an effort at clear communication?
 
Bottesini said:
All those who pointed out about the struggle over the audiogram, it's a good point.

That's really weird. It seems like her daughter wants to take control and make Rebecca jump through hoops.
Click to expand...

And this could very well be the defining moment in their relationship for the rest of their lives.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
I don't think compromising is bowing down and if you want your grown child to act like an adult you need to treat them as an adult.
Click to expand...

What person who acts like a real mature adult would demand his or her parent's audiogram like that?

Definitely not me, definitely not my hearing hubby but definitely my 14 year old daughter if she thinks of it. This 18 year old is not acting like an adult.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
I don't think compromising is bowing down and if you want your grown child to act like an adult you need to treat them as an adult.
Click to expand...

An 18 year old is not an adult. They are an adolescent.

And no matter if the child is an adult. Her behavior is disrespectful and hurtful and should not be tolerated.

You simply don't get it.
 
shel90 said:
What person who acts like a real mature adult would demand his or her parent's audiogram like that?

Definitely not me, definitely not my hearing hubby but definitely my 14 year old daughter if she thinks of it. This 18 year old is not acting like an adult.
Click to expand...

That's true, but, like it or not, she is one and it's time to deal that fact.
 
VacationGuy234 said:
I don't think compromising is bowing down and if you want your grown child to act like an adult you need to treat them as an adult.
Click to expand...

And you say that behavior is acting as an adult? Whoo!

Bottesini said:
How many adults demand you give them your audiogram before they make an effort at clear communication?
Click to expand...

Exactly. NONE.

shel90 said:
What person who acts like a real mature adult would demand his or her parent's audiogram like that?
Click to expand...

Enough said. I totally take Rebecca's side on this. I would never condone an 18-year old daughter's demands for an audiogram before thinking to consent to trying to learn ASL. I feel for Rebecca. Sorry you don't, VacationGuy. Is it a guy thing for you? Pride?
 
AlleyCat said:
And you say that behavior is acting as an adult? Whoo!



Exactly. NONE.



Enough said. I totally take Rebecca's side on this. I would never condone an 18-year old daughter's demands for an audiogram before thinking to consent to trying to learn ASL. I feel for Rebecca. Sorry you don't, VacationGuy. Is it a guy thing for you? Pride?
Click to expand...

Hey!!! Careful there labelling all the guys. I already told you guys what I would have done. A reality check, hockey style.
 
AlleyCat said:
And you say that behavior is acting as an adult? Whoo!



Exactly. NONE.



Enough said. I totally take Rebecca's side on this. I would never condone an 18-year old daughter's demands for an audiogram before thinking to consent to trying to learn ASL. I feel for Rebecca. Sorry you don't, VacationGuy. Is it a guy thing for you? Pride?
Click to expand...

I did not say that behavior is acting like an adult. I said her daughter is an adult, not some 16 year old.

And, I never said I didn't feel for the OP. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here trying to help her. I could easily not answer this post.

If you think you know all about someone's family from a 100+ word post, sorry, that's pride.

And, it's not lost on me that all of you are her friends(and I respect that), but trying to scare off other people who have a different opinion doesn't help her or anyone else who reads the thread.

So, you may not like the answers I post, but don't mistake my post for being vindictive because there is no ill will here.
 
Back
Top