Soldier mom refuses deployment to care for baby

Then why did she bother joining the army in the first place? :roll:

I bet it's because of war...MANY soldiers got arrested for refusal to deployment after the fort hood shooting.

and that disappoint me because it seems that they don't seem to care about fighting for our country, but care about making money which disgust me. *scoffs* You dont want to go to war, then don't join army. Simple as that. You will NEVER know what happens when you join army.

Many soldiers try to leave the army after 9/11th attack, because they all knew there would be war coming and they don't want that so that disgust me that they only joined for money and nothing else. If I was allowed to join, surely I would do anything for my country and I'm not ashamed of being an American.

They are EXTREMELY strict when they give u a command or an order, you don't talk back, you OBEY IT. Otherwise, you are locked up in the cell then.

I'm sorry she got locked up for disobeying the order, but I'm pretty sure there is a way for someone to watch her baby while she is away.
 
This woman should move to Canada or Europe to get away from military.
 
souggy said:
I thought they give units a lot of time ahead of notice before deploying them?
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According to the article, she had it all worked out for her mom to take care of her child, at least until she told her she couldn't because she was "already having to care for her ailing mother and sister, as well as a daughter with special needs."

I understand the mother's concern but, she could have handled it better than simply refusing to show--the Army's not a big fan of deserters.
 
Foxrac said:
This woman should move to Canada or Europe to get away from military.
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They have extradition agreement with USA to return deserters back to USA. Mexico is your best shot.
 
Steel X said:
Then why did she bother joining the army in the first place? :roll:

I bet it's because of war...MANY soldiers got arrested for refusal to deployment after the fort hood shooting.

and that disappoint me because it seems that they don't seem to care about fighting for our country, but care about making money which disgust me. *scoffs* You dont want to go to war, then don't join army. Simple as that. You will NEVER know what happens when you join army.

Many soldiers try to leave the army after 9/11th attack, because they all knew there would be war coming and they don't want that so that disgust me that they only joined for money and nothing else. If I was allowed to join, surely I would do anything for my country and I'm not ashamed of being an American.

They are EXTREMELY strict when they give u a command or an order, you don't talk back, you OBEY IT. Otherwise, you are locked up in the cell then.

I'm sorry she got locked up for disobeying the order, but I'm pretty sure there is a way for someone to watch her baby while she is away.
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correction - MANY joined armed forces AFTER 9/11. handful of my friends did and one came back in pine box. :(

After their 3-4 year contract expired, they went to finish college. After that - 2 of them joined again but different branch. They are still proud of serving for this country despite of questionable political climate at White House.
 
I don't want to seem harsh or unfeeling but military mothers know that they are responsible for making realistic arrangements for their children's care long before deployment. If circumstances with the care giver change, then the service woman needs to inform her chain of command immediately, and start making new arrangements.

I know my next statement won't seem PC but the truth is, "single" motherhood is part of the problem. The father should be equally responsible for child care, and I don't mean just the financial aspects.

Many of these problems go back to my long-time disagreement with sending women into combat zones (for about 30 years I've been saying that). Once the military started depending on women to make their enlistment quotas, they had to put deployment first and motherhood second. This has adversely affected families, and weakened the military.

When I was on active duty in the Navy, I had to request special permission to stay in while pregnant. Then, after my daughter was born, I had to put into writing that I child care arrangements available (primary and secondary) in case my duties required me to be away from home. (Women couldn't serve on ships or in combat areas back then.) When I later transferred to the Reserves, I still had to document that I had child care available. Since my husband was active duty military, it had to be a civilian other than him. This information was reviewed every year in case there were changes.

Whenever we went thru deployment exercises, or the real thing, each member went thru pre-deployment screening. Anyone who thought they might need a waiver (for health, business, personal, or family reasons) went before a board that would determine what they should do.

There is a procedure in place for these kinds of problems. One thing you never want to do is just take it upon yourself to leave or not show up. It almost always makes the matter worse in the long run.

In this situation, even if the mother doesn't want the father involved in the child's care (maybe he's a bad character), she should at least go after him for financial support. It's possible that if the father provided the money, the grandmother wouldn't have to run a daycare in her home, and be more available for taking care of the granddaughter.

Anyway, just my two cents.
 
Reba said:
I don't want to seem harsh or unfeeling but military mothers know that they are responsible for making realistic arrangements for their children's care long before deployment. If circumstances with the care giver change, then the service woman needs to inform her chain of command immediately, and start making new arrangements.

I know my next statement won't seem PC but the truth is, "single" motherhood is part of the problem. The father should be equally responsible for child care, and I don't mean just the financial aspects.
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I also believe that "single parenthood" is not good for a healthy family. A child needs to have at least two parents because it's a lot of responsibility and when both parents share responsibility equally, the burden is reduced.

But the father of that child is probably a deadbeat. What are you gonna do? Make him a good father? How would throwing him in jail help anything?
 
netrox said:
I also believe that "single parenthood" is not good for a healthy family. A child needs to have at least two parents because it's a lot of responsibility and when both parents share responsibility equally, the burden is reduced.

But the father of that child is probably a deadbeat. What are you gonna do? Make him a good father? How would throwing him in jail help anything?
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I was thinking more like garnishing his wages and tax refunds if he refuses to voluntarily pay support.
 
Jiro said:
They have extradition agreement with USA to return deserters back to USA. Mexico is your best shot.
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Or Russia, I heard about France has limited extradition agreement with US, not completely like Canada or UK.
 
Reba said:
I don't want to seem harsh or unfeeling but military mothers know that they are responsible for making realistic arrangements for their children's care long before deployment. If circumstances with the care giver change, then the service woman needs to inform her chain of command immediately, and start making new arrangements.

I know my next statement won't seem PC but the truth is, "single" motherhood is part of the problem. The father should be equally responsible for child care, and I don't mean just the financial aspects.

Many of these problems go back to my long-time disagreement with sending women into combat zones (for about 30 years I've been saying that). Once the military started depending on women to make their enlistment quotas, they had to put deployment first and motherhood second. This has adversely affected families, and weakened the military.

When I was on active duty in the Navy, I had to request special permission to stay in while pregnant. Then, after my daughter was born, I had to put into writing that I child care arrangements available (primary and secondary) in case my duties required me to be away from home. (Women couldn't serve on ships or in combat areas back then.) When I later transferred to the Reserves, I still had to document that I had child care available. Since my husband was active duty military, it had to be a civilian other than him. This information was reviewed every year in case there were changes.

Whenever we went thru deployment exercises, or the real thing, each member went thru pre-deployment screening. Anyone who thought they might need a waiver (for health, business, personal, or family reasons) went before a board that would determine what they should do.

There is a procedure in place for these kinds of problems. One thing you never want to do is just take it upon yourself to leave or not show up. It almost always makes the matter worse in the long run.

In this situation, even if the mother doesn't want the father involved in the child's care (maybe he's a bad character), she should at least go after him for financial support. It's possible that if the father provided the money, the grandmother wouldn't have to run a daycare in her home, and be more available for taking care of the granddaughter.

Anyway, just my two cents.
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What about single fathers? There are more and more of them now.
 
What about widows and widowers? They are left to raise their children on their own so if that is not a bad thing then why is single parenthood a bad thing? Sure, it would be better if two parents are present but sometimes even with two parents there, the household life isnt as stable as some single family households. I have personal experience with it.
 
So at any rate, where will the baby stay while the mother is in prison for deserting?
 
Bottesini said:
So at any rate, where will the baby stay while the mother is in prison for deserting?
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Good question.

It is an unfortunate situation. If I had nobody to care for my infant, I sure as hell wouldnt leave my infant. I am a mother first and I am sure that mother felt the same way. If she used the baby as an excuse to avoid deployment, then sure, she was wrong. I need to go back and read the whole thing again.
 
I read it again...it looks like a case of an unfortunate last min change and I, for sure, would refuse to get deployed knowing that my baby will be placed in foster care. Pardon my language..but screw that!
 
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