SERIOUS question for PARENTS only

K

KeWoOLeE

New Member
Joined
Mar 14, 2003
Messages
150
Reaction score
0
Hey you all -- *sighs* i have been going through lot of bumps lately... i have a deaf daughter... my finacee and i are deaf too.... the only different between me and my finacee is that he has cochlear implants and I dont... He wants for our daughter to get her cochlear implant really soon and I disagreed with him - for many reasons, i just dont want to name them yet...

I have NOTHING to be against to cochlear implants. I think C.I. is one of great opporitary for some of deaf people to help improve their hearing skills. And also for another many reasons. But what is my point is that I have been trying to convience my financee to think of another different choices before we put cochlear implant on our daughter - he think im wasting my time and everything.... his whole family is on his side.. my family is on his side too but recently, i have been really upset because i feel that nobody understand how i feel.. and then my parents got on my side because they understand how im feeling and they r willing to help me out whatever decision i came up with for my daughter..

I want to know if anyone of you have the same situation as I am in? This may not be ONLY FOR PARENTS... it can be also for all of you, just in case, if you all got kids in the future and what will you do? I want to try out some new kind techonical hearing aids.. my daughter currently have hearing aids for herself.. and we all are trying our best that she has them on every day, all the times...

anyone who know many different choices beside cochlear implants, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.. and WHERE can i find more information about it... thank you very much, i appreciate it.
 
KeWoOLeE -- i uddy ur frustrations in regards to this -- even though i am NOT a parent of a human child (parent of furkids -- cats that is)

but if i am to ever adopt or have deaf child of my own eventually -- i personally would just leave the child as he/she is until the child is old enuf to be included in the discussion abt CI and let him/her make their own decision based on what the child has learned and what the procedures would be and what would occur after the procedure has been done so that way the child would feel included in this VERY big decision of his/her life and if the child chooses to want CI i would support the child's decision based on THEIR decision and they made the efforts to research abt CI and what it all is about and asked questions talking to those who has CI and doctors as well on the effectiveness of CI and so forth -- thats my own personal opinion and both parent would be included in this discussion with the child and the partners who have raised the child together would also need to have an open mind on what the child feels and his/her opinions on what he/she would like done
 
Originally posted by Fly Free
KeWoOLeE -- i uddy ur frustrations in regards to this -- even though i am NOT a parent of a human child (parent of furkids -- cats that is)

but if i am to ever adopt or have deaf child of my own eventually -- i personally would just leave the child as he/she is until the child is old enuf to be included in the discussion abt CI and let him/her make their own decision based on what the child has learned and what the procedures would be and what would occur after the procedure has been done so that way the child would feel included in this VERY big decision of his/her life and if the child chooses to want CI i would support the child's decision based on THEIR decision and they made the efforts to research abt CI and what it all is about and asked questions talking to those who has CI and doctors as well on the effectiveness of CI and so forth -- thats my own personal opinion and both parent would be included in this discussion with the child and the partners who have raised the child together would also need to have an open mind on what the child feels and his/her opinions on what he/she would like done
Click to expand...


I truly support what fly free has said and i do understand, i belive in inculding the kid(s) in that decision if they say no we need to respect that. this isn t about wasting time its about loving ur child and accepting her for this....
 
Originally posted by Fly Free
KeWoOLeE -- i uddy ur frustrations in regards to this -- even though i am NOT a parent of a human child (parent of furkids -- cats that is)

but if i am to ever adopt or have deaf child of my own eventually -- i personally would just leave the child as he/she is until the child is old enuf to be included in the discussion abt CI and let him/her make their own decision based on what the child has learned and what the procedures would be and what would occur after the procedure has been done so that way the child would feel included in this VERY big decision of his/her life and if the child chooses to want CI i would support the child's decision based on THEIR decision and they made the efforts to research abt CI and what it all is about and asked questions talking to those who has CI and doctors as well on the effectiveness of CI and so forth -- thats my own personal opinion and both parent would be included in this discussion with the child and the partners who have raised the child together would also need to have an open mind on what the child feels and his/her opinions on what he/she would like done
Click to expand...

I COMPETELY understand what ure saying.. and thats what ive been saying too.. they r keeping telling me that im wasting a time because they all KNOW its going to be a BEST chance for my daughter to get her C.I. at her young age (shes less than 1 year old now).. they say.. the earlier, the best chance she get.. if we wait til my daughter get a little older enough to make her own decision and she will miss out lof of training with C.I. if she got her C.I. by now, and then she wont be having any trouble in the future.. right now, my daughter know how to sign VERY LITTLE.. still trying to learn.. and she uses her voice lot but NO WORDS coming out from her mouth and usually babies get to talk at this age which my daughter is right now... the families r thinking that shes going to be way behind from all of the kids at the same age as my daughter is and think that im wasting the time.. *sighs* i have tried this already, soo i have to try something different... try again, please.
 
Ahh, I understand where you are coming from.
Myself being deaf, I have never considered getting a cochlear implant, and will never get one.
As for my kid, I dont want him to get cochlear implant till he is ready to make his own decisions. I understand how you feel, about your daughter getting cochlear implant. You are right, there are other technology than just cochlear implant. Your fiancee and you need to research more and discuss with your daughter's audiologist. That is what I would do when my kid get older.
As for my kid getting cochlear implant, I wouldnt consider it till he asks for one.
 
Originally posted by KeWoOLeE
I COMPETELY understand what ure saying.. and thats what ive been saying too.. they r keeping telling me that im wasting a time because they all KNOW its going to be a BEST chance for my daughter to get her C.I. at her young age (shes less than 1 year old now).. they say.. the earlier, the best chance she get.. if we wait til my daughter get a little older enough to make her own decision and she will miss out lof of training with C.I. if she got her C.I. by now, and then she wont be having any trouble in the future.. right now, my daughter know how to sign VERY LITTLE.. still trying to learn.. and she uses her voice lot but NO WORDS coming out from her mouth and usually babies get to talk at this age which my daughter is right now... the families r thinking that shes going to be way behind from all of the kids at the same age as my daughter is and think that im wasting the time.. *sighs* i have tried this already, soo i have to try something different... try again, please.
Click to expand...

i myself was born deaf and never have had CI -- my parents waited til i was around 16 or thereabouts and asked for my opinion and feelings abt CI and i flatly :thumbd: and im now in my 30s and am just fine without the use of CI -- i use Hearing Aid and my speech is understandable -- i still dont see any reason why to have a toddler have CI when the child can have their own voice later when theyre older and can be included in the discussion -- i have a few friends who themselves have CI and have had it done while they were toddlers still and they have expressed that they were pretty disgusted with their parents and are against CI for their own various personal reasons varying from CI not working for them to discomfort and etc whatever they are
 
if you really love your daughter and wanted to make the best of everything for her, then the C.I. is the good choice for her. She maybe able to hear things better, communicate with more people, and learn faster...etc. She would be able to communicate on the phone, watch TV without C.C.s (no offense people, i do believe C.Cs are very imporant though) and everything else...she may not even have to be in the deaf class when she goes to school, i dunno she may have to anyway. One of my friends has an C.I. and she no longer needs an intercrepter so she handles everything on her own just like a hearing person...your daughter may get the most respect from most people who can understand her through her emotions, her mind, her feelings, etc...and of course, even her parents. You can still teach your daughter sign language, telling her it's very important to use when she's around deaf and not-deaf people who uses ASL or whatever...you know? I don't have C.I. myself...I just feel it is too late for me. But your daughter's life would be a big improvement if she got it in her early age, of course. Take your time.
 
Originally posted by Steel
if you really love your daughter and wanted to make the best of everything for her, then the C.I. is the good choice for her. She maybe able to hear things better, communicate with more people, and learn faster...etc. She would be able to communicate on the phone, watch TV without C.C.s (no offense people, i do believe C.Cs are very imporant though) and everything else...she may not even have to be in the deaf class when she goes to school, i dunno she may have to anyway. One of my friends has an C.I. and she no longer needs an intercrepter so she handles everything on her own just like a hearing person...your daughter may get the most respect from most people who can understand her through her emotions, her mind, her feelings, etc...and of course, even her parents. You can still teach your daughter sign language, telling her it's very important to use when she's around deaf and not-deaf people who uses ASL or whatever...you know? I don't have C.I. myself...I just feel it is too late for me. But your daughter's life would be a big improvement if she got it in her early age, of course. Take your time.
Click to expand...

that is very interesting, since i went to a hearing school and never was placed in a deaf program.
 
Kewoole--I think your daughter is not ready to have them.. it'd better way if they just wait until when she gets older... She may make the decision whether she wants a cochlear implant. If your boyfriend wants her to have a cochlear implant..when she gets older and she might say.. I hate it and why I have this.. it might make him feel fool if he did. I assume they should wait until she gets older and let her make the decision if she wants it or not. My mom waited until I became 13 years old and asked me if im interested to have a cochlear implant.. I have a thought about it and I decided not to because I used to it for being a deafness. Why does it is so important to get her have a cochlear implant in her BODY SYSTEM (her head).. a computer thing in her body, eh? I think it is most ridiculous to let her have it. If he is too stubborn to let her have it and he d might regret later on when she gets older.

Is C.I. helping them to improve their hearing SKILLS... By put a DEVICE in near their BRAIN, eh? Machine and Human do not MIX.

It would better off if they just let them as NATURAL.. without add in their body system..

If my daughter becomes a deaf. I will NEVER put any device in her body. Also if she wants one. she can make a wish to have it. When Im planning on get more kids... if one of those kid is deaf... I rather let my kid to make the decision...

Let the kid enjoys their life and being a deafness.

Steel you are being so SILLY on your THREAD! What does it mean to BE LOVE for just put a DEVICE a robot thing in someone's BODY? What if they suffer from it? What's wrong with being a deafness without a C.I. if they are having a communciate with hearing people? Also, dont tell me that we do not have any ability just because of deafness? We are being a human and only thing is hearing LOSS.. we are normal as hearing people. Did you aware that deaf people do have a better EYES than hearing people.. know why? they do depend their eyes like daily than hearing people.

My good friend who is hard of hearing - she never grew up thru the oral program.. and do not have a coclear implant.. and she is doing FINE without it.
 
Originally posted by KeWoOLeE
Hey you all -- *sighs* i have been going through lot of bumps lately... i have a deaf daughter... my finacee and i are deaf too.... the only different between me and my finacee is that he has cochlear implants and I dont... He wants for our daughter to get her cochlear implant really soon and I disagreed with him - for many reasons, i just dont want to name them yet...

I have NOTHING to be against to cochlear implants. I think C.I. is one of great opporitary for some of deaf people to help improve their hearing skills. And also for another many reasons. But what is my point is that I have been trying to convience my financee to think of another different choices before we put cochlear implant on our daughter - he think im wasting my time and everything.... his whole family is on his side.. my family is on his side too but recently, i have been really upset because i feel that nobody understand how i feel.. and then my parents got on my side because they understand how im feeling and they r willing to help me out whatever decision i came up with for my daughter..

I want to know if anyone of you have the same situation as I am in? This may not be ONLY FOR PARENTS... it can be also for all of you, just in case, if you all got kids in the future and what will you do? I want to try out some new kind techonical hearing aids.. my daughter currently have hearing aids for herself.. and we all are trying our best that she has them on every day, all the times...

anyone who know many different choices beside cochlear implants, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.. and WHERE can i find more information about it... thank you very much, i appreciate it.
Click to expand...

I understand your concerns and frustrations. I encourage you to explore other options and investigate pros/cons on CI. I know that CI operation is risky.

Discuss your feelings with your finacee about it. It is important to have opern communication and talk to medical professionals and parents of CI children and find out the best option for your daughter.

It is the best to leave your daughter to decide whether she wants CI or not. I feel that putting CI into one year old daughter is dangerous.

:grouphug: We, ADers, support you with our hearts. Ingore Steel's sarcastic remarks.
 
Re: Re: SERIOUS question for PARENTS only

Originally posted by Oddball
I understand your concerns and frustrations. I encourage you to explore other options and investigate pros/cons on CI. I know that CI operation is risky.

Discuss your feelings with your finacee about it. It is important to have opern communication and talk to medical professionals and parents of CI children and find out the best option for your daughter.

It is the best to leave your daughter to decide whether she wants CI or not. I feel that putting CI into one year old daughter is dangerous.

:grouphug: We, ADers, support you with our hearts. Ingore Steel's sarcastic remarks.
Click to expand...

:werd: I agree with u oddball.. steel doesn't have anything nice to say here lately :roll: anyways...
good luck on that research on CI Kewoole :thumb:
 
I think they should research more information between CI and body develop in each age. because what if baby's body with CI then grow more more with cover lot of tissues and cells to make CI trapping. that which impossible to remove or not. If that kid want remove CI then that's high risk. cuz CI is pretty close to brain with plenty of nerves around head. if kid is like 15 years old who want CI then won't develop with heavy thick tissues cover around CI like baby body.

Find out about baby body and teen body if CI might not trap or not. I know Baby body is fratigue and lot of time to make more nerves cells and etc.. good luck!
 
Originally posted by KeWoOLeE
Hey you all -- *sighs* i have been going through lot of bumps lately... i have a deaf daughter... my finacee and i are deaf too.... the only different between me and my finacee is that he has cochlear implants and I dont... He wants for our daughter to get her cochlear implant really soon and I disagreed with him - for many reasons, i just dont want to name them yet...

Hi. Is this child *your* daughter before you started dating your finace or is it also his daughter? If it's yours only- then that decision should be left to you, as you're the Mother.

If it's both of you- and the child was older- I'd suggest to include the child in expressing what she wants. But I see that she is under 1, so that's kinda hard to do at this point. Heh. How is she doing with her hearing aids? Is she responding to noises and stuff? If so, then she may not even need CI.

As for me- I am a Mother of 2 hearing Daughters but if I have any Deaf children- I would prefer to leave them alone and let them decide when they get older. I remember my Mom telling me that she and my Dad discussed me getting CI when I was younger but the uhh I can't remember the word-- person that tests your Hearing-- blah nearly 4 am and the word is escaping me :/ LOL But anyways they have told my Parents that CI would *not* work for me and I was better off with hearing aids because of my kind of hearing loss- which is true for me. I do just fine with my Hearing Aids.

Also- you should consider what type of hearing loss does your daughter have? Does the person that gives hearing tests/make earmold/hearing aids think that CI would be good or that she would be able to hear with hearing aids. I'm not totally sure but I am guessing that *if* she has a severe-profounded hearing loss- then the CI probably would not work?

Either way you go- I totally support in whatever you decide to do for your Daughter. You'll know the right thing to do as you will follow your heart and do what's best for your Daughter. I wish you the best of luck. Keep us updated on what your decision is.

-Brooke
Proud American Mama
Katrina 1.14.91 and Samantha 1.26.03
Click to expand...
 
kelli, is she born deaf? if so, that's what god gave her. born deaf to be stick deaf. i believe...if i born deaf, then i raise up deaf period bec thats what god gave it to me. good luck and god bless ur family
 
I agreed the most of you guys (beside :roll: at steel) dont worry about him..
Also, dont forget that there also have side effects, too. Your daughter is too young. It's hard for her to tell you or you figure what she wants or what she is in pain if it has side effects.. Like neasua, dizzy, headaches, nerve pitch, left side is some what different (if CI on right side) or right side is some what different (if Ci on left side)... or volume is too loud. so the best way wait till she gets older. so she know the side effects that she can reaction to and get it treated. Or, Go to few doctor peds to get their opinions, how they feel its right thing or wrong thing for at *your daughter's age* so get their comments write down and show your fiance and his family...

I hope things working out for you..

here..:grouphug: if you needed..
 
Ur husband may try to give daughter hearing aid first now to see if she likes then discuss about C.I. :dunno:
same here with my daughter doctor thinks she is hard of hearing offered me C.I. my husband and I refused and wait til daughter gets older if she likes it it's her decision, right now she used hearing aid but she didnt wear much at all said loud and dizzy if C.I. too late she'd upset. She really can hear without hearing aid also therapist sees her hear well too maybe she just ignored made him thinks hard of hearing
 
Compromise, compromise. Thats what relationship is all about.

So, Umm.. I got a daughter who is only 5 mos today. (Today is the 9th. Woo Hoo!) Anyway, IF she was deaf, I would NOT get her CI. I'm totally against it but I know the positive side to CI.

So, with your daughter, she is on time. Talking is MORE often happen after 1 years old. They can be behind with parents but once they're in school, they catch right up(happens sometimes, no promise). So I would try suggest you to bring ur daughter to school, deaf school or someplace where she can be around another kids and deaf people.

But remember, CI dont work ALL the time. It works on some deaf. I know some of my deaf friends HATES having CI. Just think before u do it.. would u waste your money on it? Is it worth HER time? Is it worth explaining to ur daughter about CI when she grows up? What is the RISK to have CI? Blah Blah goes on. Just think twice before u do it or not. :D Just a suggest to think questions is it worth for her having it. :)
 
more mature, the more the body will handle the machine rather than being youth.

I understand that your finacee expect for your daughter to give a bright future as "hearing". That sound nice, isn't it? But very risky. It happen to my ex-girlfriend who her mom try to have CI on her daughter when she was 7 yrs old. It turn out that operator have failed and leave the metal pad in her head forever. I have felt her head, little bummer, still struck in there. They cannot remove, if it has removed, it will sure damage her brain cell.
 
geez you are missing the point...

I'm saying that C.I. can improve your life, but i never said being deaf is helpless or whatever...you know I'm deaf too right? Well I don't have C.I. either but if i ever has a daughter...IF I has a daughter and she was born deaf, as a father to improve her life, to let her hear things before she starts to get older. sure, machines aren't always perfect, but this is EXTREME techogoly we are talking about. It's just like, beyond anything else...you know, C.I. were really big and has cords back then right? now they are wireless and smaller and even more powerful than ever. Now, if you don't want your daughter to get C.I. fine with me. I absloutely have no problem with that. She can still be in the deaf world, even if she has C.I.

C.I.s don't destory the deaf world...it just IMPROVE the deaf world. and now if you want her to stay deaf, that's fine. I still have alot of friends who don't get C.I. and want to stay deaf anyway. There's no right or wrong on it.

Sure it may be scary at first, but it would improve in the first few days or whatever. But this is reality we are in...and if you want to communicate on more things, well then the C.I. is the uilmate weapon for you...and if you sitll don't want it. fine. I never said your daughter should get one...i just said it would improve your daughter's life...sheesh if you have a problem with it, it's not even my fault. take a chill pill. :roll:
 
Back
Top