questions about kids behavor.

DeafSCUBA98

DeafSCUBA98

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My son is having problems.. i know its only 4 years old.

when we are eatting.. our rule is that he cannot play with food, have to eat fast.

since i'm tired of waiting for him to finish with food.. he's a very motormouth kind of kid. and he tend to look at other things that attracts him.. for example, when we are at restruant, he looks at kids or other people or things around him like posters, bags, people walking.

i would like to have ur advice on how you do to ur kids to ingore those annoying movements or so.

i tried to set a timer for 15 min.. he once a while failed and passed..

when he failed he lose the treat.

one time during christmas.. we all have kids and adults eatting together.. all the kids finish way before sean finished.. and it took sean 1 hour to finish eatting. and i feel embarrased by that.

i'll come up with more questions later on when i pop up in my mind.. but this is for now :pissed:
 
My daughter has the same problem and she is 9 years old but she has improved a lot. I think maturity and understanding time concept has something to do with her improvement.

As for him taking an hour to eat at a Christmas event, was there a hurry for him to finish? If not, I am curious, why did he need to finish at a certain time? My daughter takes forever to eat and usually is the last one to finish during family gatherings and I just let her be if there is no hurry to leave or do something else.

As for home, I tell my daughter that dinner time ends at a certain time and at first she would fail often and we would send her to bed without playing. It was hard at first but now she understands that dinner time is not a 3 hour event. LOL!

Since your son is so young, it will take a while but u can try what I did with my daughter.
 
DeafSCUBA98,


Most parents know how diffcult it is to get their child to eat their food without playing around with it, nearly all toddlers could be described as picky eaters. If children don't like something, they won't eat it period... never force a child to eat all his/her food, but it's important that the child eat something than nothing at all, you probably can't stop your son from playing with his food overnight but threatening a punishment such as not giving a child a treat or desert if he did not eat all of his food is not going to help at all..Instead, try to sit down together to eat, enjoy your dinner, and assume he'll follow your lead or start an converation to get your son to start eating his food.. If he still playing with his food, then say " Oh it looks like you're done eating ", take away his plate and put it in the sink ....I would not use a timer to expect a 4 years old to finish up all his food..Most young children don't eat all their food, only some of it...Everytime I at my relative's house my little one wouldn't eat all his food, just he want to play with the other children...I tell him to eat a little bit more before he is allow to get up and play, it seem to work....Try telling him to eat a little bit more before he is allow to watch TV or play with his toys or etc....the more he playing around with his food the more he wouldn't have time to play or do something he enjoy doing...But don't expect a time where he must finished all his food...
 
shel90 said:
As for him taking an hour to eat at a Christmas event, was there a hurry for him to finish? If not, I am curious, why did he need to finish at a certain time?
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I was thinking the same thing here but I was too scare to ask that question...
 
well i have same similar as you, i am embrassed since, stepdaughter which is 5 yr old is not behave well in restanrest but at home is fine. she refuse to sit settle down, and move around too much, almost fell with chair, and stare at people all the time, and we kept punish her, it seem not work, but my 4 yr old son behave so well at restanrest. I sometime felt like whats going on with stepdaughter's real home, and she isn't being well there. Such punishment, health concerns, and her behave. But we keep nag her, and told her not give what she wants, it sometime works.

Maybe, tell him, stop talking and eat .. we re not going to some place if ur not done eat or toys or movie anything, it might scare him somehow. it works few times with my stepdaughter, but not always. Only embrasses when she stare at people which is very closesure from us. and they feel mostly uncomfortable. also so noise. Hope we could find a way of fixture this solve plm somehow.
 
also i forgot additon, also she is always last person to eat since she is busy to look at people but she have bad dental.. She always hurry when saw us waiting for her. We don't want sitting there forever if she not done to eat. Mostly of time she feel full, and we said fine, don't ask me if u hungary later. Good enough she always did. She always find a way to distance from her eating. Like one time, i setted up the table and foods for kids. but TV was on, which i forgot. And she only ate 2 bites, and told me not want to eat anymore. It got me off the guard right away. So i thought she is just not hungary. But it happen many times. So i asked did u eat all at home, and she said no, always watch tv and eat same time. We always eat junk foods. I got upset and pissed, so, in my house rule, not allow, so made her eat small meal, and no tv, its WORKS. But very slowly. So, only way is if something interest, she will be hurry. Other way, u can make him excite like will play with the doh with him after eat something, it might works. Give it try. we can gather to get some idea, good posting.
 
Why do you want him to eat fast? First my question is how much do you feed your son, maybe he's full and don't want it, you can't force a child to eat everything that's on his plate because it can lead to overweight and even to become an obese child. You can always save his plate covered with foil or use microwave dish with cover top and put in refrigerator until later if he gets hungry again. Children have very small stomach can't eat as fast as adults, There's gonna be children who are slow eaters, fast eaters or none. Just gonna have to be patient, distractions happens everywhere at home when the TV is on, at the restaurants. It's unavoidable. Even myself look around too when I'm at the restaurant, distraction makes us curious, it happens.

You know age between 1 to 5 are fussy eaters, they'll grow out of it and will eat most on their plates, but don't rush them there's no time limit. My son used to eat slow, it never seem a bothered to me, now he's 6 going on 7 and eats all that's on his plate, it takes time and patient if you have it. Punishment/pushing isn't necessary seriously. ;)
 
it takes him 1 hour at christmas time is because he's cranky that he wants to sit with his grandma.. and been sent to time-out.. also he's been talking to grandma all the time during lunch and not eatting.


i'm wondering about cleaning issue. when he's done cleaning.. we require him to clean the table, chair and floor.

i'm wondering if this is too early stage or just in time?
 
I would say the same as Cheri... Cheri beat me...

First of all, I would like to ask you a question.

Did you all let TV on during meal time?

Don't force Sean to empty his plate. Threats and punishments is sort of blackmail which is no good.

Family meal in kitchen or dinning room with NO TV.

You know that the children often don't eat when they see "ugly" foods on the plates or smell foods and play with foods and slow eating... Alan, my 2nd son is one of them... He is an eat picker. I decorate as kid food on the plate like shape with cookie cutters... animal shape with cutters... It look pretty... It got Alan moivation when he see 'animal shape' on his plate... He got praise from us when he ate bit.. no matter what.

When I cook, Alan come and ask me what is this... and :ugh3: I suggest him to taste bit... if he don't like then is okay, if he like then is good... He accept and taste it... he like it and some not.

It's normal for the children focus the foods/drink taste.

All what I advise you to be patient with your son's investigative habits. You can't compare your son with other children... Remember each child is different.

We have family meal... It took us 30 minutes to 1 hour to finish our meal including converstion... It belongs patience.
 
Depend child may lost interest to eat kind of food.. and avoid eating sumth'n like that.. make this child will not eat and stall bit longer reason dislike food.. May possible!

Other thing, try encourage one BITE and if dislike that fine leave it and eat other... as long still healthy...
Snack the best key... Giving them fruit.. will full stuffed..
Try again another day, Fresh Meal... to see child feel comfortable eat or not.. depend their picky..

as for me: Tend to feed
Day one: Junk food
Day two: Health foods little add Bread.. make them stuffed full.. as try taste encourage
Day three: Junk/health mixed.. kids will eat it focus and try eat one bite health food.. will helps it lot..
That way I did fed three children did successes developing as well..
They are teenagers and loves to eat balance foods.. I'm glad!
 
At home, just put small servings on the child's plate. If he/she finishes that, then he/she can have more. That way, it is easy for the child to see success (a quick empty plate), and not much food is wasted.

Sometimes kids prefer special "dips" for their foods, even combinations that we parents think are "weird". Let them use a little dab of ketchup, mustard, honey mustard, or whatever to make their food "special."

At a restaurant, order something small and simple for the child. It doesn't need to be a "meal". You can order a side salad, or any other "side" dish that you know the child prefers. Even if it's just a small bowl of corn or applesauce, it's still food. Request an appetizer or crackers that can be served right away so the child won't have to wait a long time for the food. Or you can request extra small plates with your big dinner, and put "samples" on the small plate for the child to try. Some kids prefer trying Mommy and Daddy's "grown-up" food.

My grandsons used to like ordering the big salad bowl from Olive Garden. The bowl is set in the middle of the table, and each person can take whatever they want. They ate just the salad and the bread, and they were satisfied.
 
My daughter will be 16 yrs old in few months and she still eats slow. She's also a picky eater. My son eats everything on the table. I don't serve desserts after supper. I never force my kids to eat. They will eat but it may not clean their plate. Don't worry, your kid won't starve.


I have a question. Does your child AHAD? Some kids may not be focusing on things.
 
DeafSCUBA98 said:
it takes him 1 hour at christmas time is because he's cranky that he wants to sit with his grandma.. and been sent to time-out.. also he's been talking to grandma all the time during lunch and not eatting.


i'm wondering about cleaning issue. when he's done cleaning.. we require him to clean the table, chair and floor.

i'm wondering if this is too early stage or just in time?
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Ok, You can always talk to him pleasantly without lecturing or raise voices. time out thing is getting way too much sorry to say it. If he wants to sit by grandma let him, if he wants to talk, let him. But if he bang his utensils, spit, or throw food then you can show him his manners the way it should be done at the table.

I always talk during the dinner table with my children because it holds a bond between us three, they get so happy when I asked them about school, ask about their day and etc. Communication is very important, It makes it enjoyable, and that will help your child comes up to you with anything without being so afraid to talk to you about.

He's too young right now to be cleaning tables and chairs, he could put his own plate/glass in the sink and clean after himself. But, if he wants to help clean he can help you. Believe me children will surprises us when they want to help clean.
 
DeafSCUBA98 said:
it takes him 1 hour at christmas time is because he's cranky that he wants to sit with his grandma.. and been sent to time-out.. also he's been talking to grandma all the time during lunch and not eatting.
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He's been on time-out just cause he didn't eat all his food and took him an hour to finish?... Why is there a time when he has to be done eating?...I'm just curious that's all....I won't judge you or anything :hug:


i'm wondering about cleaning issue. when he's done cleaning.. we require him to clean the table, chair and floor.

i'm wondering if this is too early stage or just in time?
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After he's done eating?....
 
^Angel^ said:
He's been on time-out just cause he didn't eat all his food and took him an hour to finish?... Why is there a time when he has to be done eating?...I'm just curious that's all....I won't judge you or anything :hug:

After he's done eating?....
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no, thats not the reason why. he got time out because he smarted mouth to daddy and mommy. after we tried to explain to him why he can't sit with grandma -- obivously he still got mad and upset about it and decided to smart mouth.



yes after hes done eating.
 
DeafBowler said:
Actually it's ADHD - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
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That's what I'm figure out.

I was like :confused: 'AHAD'... I guess that she mean ADHD... That's why I ask her...

If it's correct what DeafBowler suggest, then is my answer... No.

I can tell from DeafSubba's description is try to get parental's attention.
 
Interesting!! My son is 4 years old, and he is well behaved in dinner time or out to restaurant. He know that he is getting reward if he is really good. I do that same thing for school. He is in school and he loves school and he bring home with teacher letter saying he is the most well behaved student teacher ever had. And then I take him to Walmart to get 1 reward. That same thing if we go out to eat, and he is well behaved, and eat all the food, and then we will go stop at Target, Walmart or Kmart or the mall, he get 1 reward. I know, but it's our goals, and yes, we both do work for big jobs, and we try not to spoil him like with 3 or 4 rewards. No.. I take him and he get only 1 reward and so far, he really good.... At restaurant, let him pick what he want. You can't choose meals for him. Let him tell you want he want to eat. Sometime if I pick the meals for him, he won't eat or eat slow, I just let him pick his own meal, and he'll eat them.

That is how I learn from his pedatrician doctor, and it works for me.
 
One thing, where did he learn to become a motormouth??? I mean where did he learn all those words from?

My boy Kyler told me "Mommy, you bitch" at the mall, and I slapped his face really hard, and he just stood, and I don't care what other people things or saw me doing.. This is NOT child abuse, this is DISCPLINE, and I need to work with him, and that was the last time he called me that word and he never say it again. I took him to karate classes where he get all the discplines and respects, and it works for him, and after that, he came to me, and said "I love you, Mommie" and it really touched my heart.

You might want to talk to him, or take him to some where he can learn from sel respect to other people.
 
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