Opinion needed on a peircing

[Reba]

Yep. Parent's lock your doors. Don't take candy from strangers.

I guess you haven't been keeping up with the news about on-line dangers to teenagers. It is not a joke.

I'm 5 years older than her. You consider her a child?

What does your age have to do with it? Yes, she is legally a child. That is the law whether or not you like it.

I'd personally be offended by that statement.

Why? It's the truth. Nothing wrong with that.

I can't count how many times I heard "oh you're just a baby" when I told people I was turning 20 this past October.

Like I said, you are old enough to know better, and this thread is not about you.

Lil Country Gal wrote:

"what are your opinions on this matter?

And if you have gauged ears how can i convince my parents?"

She just wanted to know how to convince her parents to let her stretch her lobes. If you want to advise her on that, fine. But telling her to disobey her parents is not your place. Parents and teens have enough problems without strangers encouraging their kids to disobey and rebel. Protecting their kids' privacy (such as addresses) is a major problem now. That is exactly the reason why many parents cut off their kids' access to the internet. They can't trust the people that their kids contact.

 

[Reba]

... Her parents are expecting her to behave a certain way and be the kind of person they want her to be, and live within their set boundaries. ..

While she is a minor, and living at home, of course they expect her to live within their set boundaries. They are responsible for her training, health and safety, they pay the bills, and they are obligated to take care of her. When she turns 18, moves out, and supports herself, she can do what she wants. In the meantime, she can present her case, try to convince her parents or work out a compromise, and then obey their decision.

 

[Miss-Delectable]

I am all for looking different but I happen to think that large holes in ears are extremely ugly. I don't understand what is pretty about the skin streched beyond limits, making it look like a thin straps of jerky meat and just but gaping hole in the middle.

*nodding* I agree with ya. That's not a fashion statement. It's a form of self-mutiliation.

 

[psalm91:5]

me not like it :thumbd:

 

[apathrev]

I guess you haven't been keeping up with the news about on-line dangers to teenagers. It is not a joke.


What does your age have to do with it? Yes, she is legally a child. That is the law whether or not you like it.


Why? It's the truth. Nothing wrong with that.


Like I said, you are old enough to know better, and this thread is not about you.

Lil Country Gal wrote:

"what are your opinions on this matter?

And if you have gauged ears how can i convince my parents?"

She just wanted to know how to convince her parents to let her stretch her lobes. If you want to advise her on that, fine. But telling her to disobey her parents is not your place. Parents and teens have enough problems without strangers encouraging their kids to disobey and rebel. Protecting their kids' privacy (such as addresses) is a major problem now. That is exactly the reason why many parents cut off their kids' access to the internet. They can't trust the people that their kids contact.

My age was brought up by you. You're the one who stated "you're old enough to know better."

 

[Tousi]

Cental, your'e way out of line; youv'e overstepped the boundaries.....

 

[Audiofuzzy]

>>My knowledge of stretching is based on the fact I can probably named 20 close friends of mine right off the bat who have stretched, let closed up, and stretched again. I know people who have stretched up to an inch and a half.>>


CENTAL,

20 out of .. 20? or 20 out of 200? or 2000?

Do you GUARANTEE that the girl in question won't be unfortunate 21'st who'se holes doesn't close up?

Just because you have some personal experience does NOT mean the site I gave link to is not based on someone else personal experience, too.
I would say I'd rather trust a professional who does hundreds of gauging per year than a private, most likely not professional person like you.



But really, that discussion is pointless because of this simple fact which few pple already pointed out- the girl is a minor.

Under the law, the shop who does the gauging will need parent's written permission to do this. At least it should do so. I'm pretty sure if otherwise whoever goes ahead and do any body alteration, piercing, tatoo, w/o parent's permission to a minor is gonna lost in the court.
That means, under the law, her parents are responsible for her, and she needs her parents permisson to do anything. Even how to dress because after all it's the parents who pay for her clothes. For her make-up too, for everything. They understand the implication of dressing code. They know for example why it is not good to wear revealing clothes for 15 years old.

And even if she distribute newspapers and have her own money, she still needs her parent's permission as per to what to wear and buy.
because if we will think along the lines- "she works, it's her money, she can do with them what she wants" - she can go ahead and buy alcohol, drugs - it's her money.


There is more than money and rules to children-parents relationship, though.
A child is supposed to trust it's parents to do what is best for them children. Chidlren should trust their parents, and respect their rules and suggestion.
If the parents say NO, they should trust that it is in their (child) best interest,
And likewise, parents should not merely use their power because they can, but consider the child and the circumstances carefully in order to come to the best conclusion/solution. How can you butt in and encourage a minor to do against her parents? Who are responsible for her well being?


I know out there there is many underage kids pierced, gauged, roaming freely late at night but that does not mean it's OK to encourage one more 15 y. old girl to go ahead an pierce her ears against her parents wishes.
If as you say you are 5 years older, that means you are 20ty, you're an adult now, and you should KNOW WELL that 15 years old is still a CHILD.
She may look like she's mature and she may act like she's mature, but the truth is she's only NOT QUITE MATURE 15 years old who should respect her parents rules.
Nothing's gonna stop her from fulfilling her dreams of having gauged ears a few years later!! IF she still WILL want it.

I suspect though, most likely, despite your age, I think you simply didn't matured yourself. You may be 20 but your mind is still... 15.
If you were 20 AND mature then you would know that it's YOUR DAMN RESPONSIBILTY AS AN ADULT to encourage her to listen to her parents, NOT disobey !!
And, for crissake, to offer a 15 year old naivette to give a stranger (it's YOU!!!) her address over internet, at that !!
don't you know that's what perverts do?

Fuzzy

 

[apathrev]

>>My knowledge of stretching is based on the fact I can probably named 20 close friends of mine right off the bat who have stretched, let closed up, and stretched again. I know people who have stretched up to an inch and a half.>>


CENTAL,

20 out of .. 20? or 20 out of 200? or 2000?

Do you GUARANTEE that the girl in question won't be unfortunate 21'st who'se holes doesn't close up?

How do you know she'd even want them to close up? No matter if they close up or not, they will still shrink back to standard size, which, correct me if I'm wrong, is normal for females into American society to have their ears pierced.

Just because you have some personal experience does NOT mean the site I gave link to is not based on someone else personal experience, too.
I would say I'd rather trust a professional who does hundreds of gauging per year than a private, most likely not professional person like you.

Professionals will tell her the same thing. Several of those friends I know whom have stretched, work in tattoo and piercing parlors. And 8g (like she stated she wanted to stretch to) is not a big stretch at all.

But really, that discussion is pointless because of this simple fact which few pple already pointed out- the girl is a minor.

Under the law, the shop who does the gauging will need parent's written permission to do this. At least it should do so. I'm pretty sure if otherwise whoever goes ahead and do any body alteration, piercing, tatoo, w/o parent's permission to a minor is gonna lost in the court.
That means, under the law, her parents are responsible for her, and she needs her parents permisson to do anything. Even how to dress because after all it's the parents who pay for her clothes. For her make-up too, for everything. They understand the implication of dressing code. They know for example why it is not good to wear revealing clothes for 15 years old.

You people are all acting like she isn't capable of making her own decisions, and that she is a gentle, immature child, incapable of decision making. Sbe's akready stated her parent's reasons are because they're afraid of how it would reflect on them. So parents' must be obeyed, no matter how selfish and irrational the decisions they make for their children are? There is no law forbidding gauging. If she was going to have her ears pierced, yeah, she'd have to have parental permission.

And even if she distribute newspapers and have her own money, she still needs her parent's permission as per to what to wear and buy.
because if we will think along the lines- "she works, it's her money, she can do with them what she wants" - she can go ahead and buy alcohol, drugs - it's her money.

Like I said, I completely support free will. I believe if you earn your own money, you should have the right to spend it however you want. Its your own personal responsbility of how you spend it.

There is more than money and rules to children-parents relationship, though.
A child is supposed to trust it's parents to do what is best for them children. Chidlren should trust their parents, and respect their rules and suggestion.
If the parents say NO, they should trust that it is in their (child) best interest,
And likewise, parents should not merely use their power because they can, but consider the child and the circumstances carefully in order to come to the best conclusion/solution. How can you butt in and encourage a minor to do against her parents? Who are responsible for her well being?

We're talking about ear gauging, not her going out getting shitfaced and sleeping around. If she was asking "how do I convince my parent's that marijuana is alright," do you really think I'd hold the same stance. "Mother knows best," is not a universal truth, only socially accepted truth.

I know out there there is many underage kids pierced, gauged, roaming freely late at night but that does not mean it's OK to encourage one more 15 y. old girl to go ahead an pierce her ears against her parents wishes.
If as you say you are 5 years older, that means you are 20ty, you're an adult now, and you should KNOW WELL that 15 years old is still a CHILD.
She may look like she's mature and she may act like she's mature, but the truth is she's only NOT QUITE MATURE 15 years old who should respect her parents rules.
Nothing's gonna stop her from fulfilling her dreams of having gauged ears a few years later!! IF she still WILL want it.

I suspect though, most likely, despite your age, I think you simply didn't matured yourself. You may be 20 but your mind is still... 15.
If you were 20 AND mature then you would know that it's YOUR DAMN RESPONSIBILTY AS AN ADULT to encourage her to listen to her parents, NOT disobey !!

There's that word again. "Child, child child."

I try to make it a point to avoid cliches, but... you don't know me. I'm irresponsible? Is that what you think? I've been working and paying for my own clothes, food, and everything since I was 15. I knew what responsbility was earlier than the average teenager does. And that has nothing to even do with this topic. So stop attacking my credibility and maturity level.

And, for crissake, to offer a 15 year old naivette to give a stranger (it's YOU!!!) her address over internet, at that !!
don't you know that's what perverts do?

Fuzzy

I just love how I automatically get classified with internet stalkers and perverts because I offered to send a pair of plugs to her.

I've stated my case, and I've seen all the outrage over my advice. If you don't like it, don't agree, or think I'm out of line, then fine, whatever. PM me and we can discuss it there. This thread has been derailed because I don't share the mainstream social views of parental control, and that is not fair to the thread's author. You think I'm offering bad advice? Don't tell me. Tell the person I offered advice to do, and offer her possible solutions to rectify her problem. I'm through with this "parental disobedience" topic. Got it?

 

[Lil_country_gal]

I love how this fight is going on with out me lol you may proceed i'm still going mostly with cental on this fight though except the whole sending plugs deal

 

[apathrev]

*nodding* I agree with ya. That's not a fashion statement. It's a form of self-mutiliation.

In the 20's it was considered sexually and perversive for woman to display their ankles.

An example of self mutilation would be someone cutting themselves, causing damage to their body, etc. with the intention of hurting themselves. Stretching originated in Africa, where it is tradition for natives to stretch piercings, in their ears, their nose, their lips. Do you consider these cultural practices self mutilation. Do you consider piercing your ears self mutiliation? Getting a tattoo?

 

[darkangel8603]

Well obviously this is a big issue here, many points, some i agree, some i disagree..

number one. pericing, stretching, etc is not self mutiliation at all, it just a fad that had been going on for years. Self mutiliation is when someone on purpose cut their wrist or any body parts, over dose on medication, hurt themself on purpose, WHEN THEY ARE CONSIDERED TO BE SUCIDIAL or DEPRESSED, but a happy go lucky 16 years old girl who want to get their nose peirced is not self mutiliation at all.

number 2, while 15 year old is still consider underage by law, it does not mean she is a child. She will be almost 16, and by law 16 year old have the right to leave home and start their own life, which mean they are by law old enough to be responsible for themselves. For myself, I am 19 years old, and I still remember what it's like to be a 15 year old, for your information, 15 year old DON"T LIKE TO BE CALLED A CHILD! by dictionary, a child means; child Audio pronunciation of "child" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (chld)
n. pl. chil·dren (chldrn)

1. A person between birth and puberty.
2.
1. An unborn infant; a fetus.
2. An infant; a baby.

So basically in the adult world the teenagers to early 20s are still considered in the society as child which is underrated. Why do you think society automaticly class us teenagers to early 20s as a child? Because there are other people in the world that spoiled the rest of the world's trust. ie, teenage theif, robbery, drug user, alcohol drinker, teen pregnancy etc, but you cannot assume ALL TEENAGERS ARE LIKE THAT, because it is not true. That is the problem with North American today because we all are being steriotyped as a typical childish teenager when really they are old enough to make their own decision.

15 year old does not automaticly mean she is a child, you don't know what the poster is like in real life, who knows maybe she is one of those mature woman who is ready for the real world.

So Don't sterotype all 15 years old to be a child.

third of all, for over line senting central, i have to agree with the other, i know for you it may be ok, but this girl barely knows you, and while other may know u better than the girl, senting her things in the mail and getting her to give out address may not be a great idea, because of all dangers online now. Not just you, but if you tell the girl that it is ok to be giving out address, who know who she will be giving address to next. Another thing is that not only ADers come in this site, I am sure there are thousands of other people coming in this site and just surfing through looking for information which if the poster's address is revealed, who knows what will happen. I know PM or private emails etc but there are hackers and that kind of crap on the internet, it not hard to find her home address if placed on the net.

 

[AJ]

My cousin is sending me her plugs so i can gauge my ears but my parents think it looks so ugly and i'm just doing it cause i must have low self image. they think it's gonna compltly disfigure my face and it's not reversible. I'm not thinking of going terribley big just big enough to say stick a pencil through. so.....

what are your opinions on this matter?

And if you have gauged ears how can i convince my parents?

go for it.
i would never do it,
but go for it

 

[AJ]

In the 20's it was considered sexually and perversive for woman to display their ankles.

An example of self mutilation would be someone cutting themselves, causing damage to their body, etc. with the intention of hurting themselves. Stretching originated in Africa, where it is tradition for natives to stretch piercings, in their ears, their nose, their lips. Do you consider these cultural practices self mutilation. Do you consider piercing your ears self mutiliation? Getting a tattoo?

self mutilation is like...penis mutilation, where guys slice open their dicks and wrap it around their balls or stick metal poles down the hole, thats mutilation.

 

[Audiofuzzy]

>>I just love how I automatically get classified with internet stalkers and perverts because I offered to send a pair of plugs to her.<<

This not the case, This was just an example on my part that this is HOW the preverts operate, it's different from saying you are one.
By this example I wanted to point out to you that a mature person, responsible person, would write something like this:

"Dear Country Girl if you want ear gauged that much let me talk to your parents. maybe I can reassure them about safety, pros and cons of this procedure and IF they'll give you permission to do so, I'll help you.
tell your parents my address and ph# is .................. "

THAT'S how MATURE person would behave.
You, on the other hand, despite taking care of yourself by years are still thinikng like an immature one.

For starters, again-
1.you encourage a minor to disobey her parents
2. you offer something that is considered a BIG NO-NO - an offer a minor to contact you, a stranger from Internet - something you should TEACH HER never ever do!!
3.By encouraging her to go against her parents now, you may initiate further acts of disobeying on her part which not neccessarily will involve something so trivial as ear gauging.

Now, I am getting tired of this ping-pong game you do,
but for one more time:

>>How do you know she'd even want them to close up? <<
I may also very well ask- and how do you know she WON'T regret her decision one day? you still GUARANTEE?

And see, that's where you DON'T get it:

>>If she was going to have her ears pierced, yeah, she'd have to have parental permission. <<

You see, like it or not, she DOES need her parental permission, even if there is no law against ear gauging there is one that prevent to do so to ANYBODY WHO'S underage.
You should take a clue and start thinking.
And I don't care what her parents reasons are, because what is the crux of the whole thing is that YOU ENCOURAGE a 15 y old child to DISOBEY her parents. She needs permission either way. Get it?


>>while 15 year old is still consider underage by law, it does not mean she is a child. <<

It means EXACTLY that.

No matter how mature and responsible the 15y. old is, the parents are still respponsible for it and the child SHOULD OBEY.
of course extreme cases where there is abuse etc is an exception, but forbiding to gauge one's ears is NOT abuse.


COUNTRY GIRL:

I know the arguments and all seems to be funny to you, and I am not surpised you side with Cental either.
But consider this:

If you are intelligent, reasonable girl like I think you are (you did declined an offer from a stranger), before you go full ahead consider please this:
that most of us old grumpies have been 15, 19, 25, 35 and even 45, 55 once and not all of us are squares.
Just because I think ear gauging is ugly does not mean I don't understand some people think it's pretty. I myself was into punky-gothicy fashion once and even now I am thinking of getting my hair dreadlocked.
So you see, I do not squirm or recoil in horror when seeying pierced lips or brows, in fact I think this is pretty.
But sweetie from my own experience - what I thought I wanted FOR SURE once, now I am whew -ing with relief I dind't do back then , and you have no guarantee you won't feel same as me one day.
Talk to your parents. But really TALK. Tell them to convince you why shouldn't you, besides that they don't think it's pretty, and in turn, try convince THEM why should you.
Apart from this, give your self more time. I am pretty sure, judging by what's on the streets. ear gauging and other forms of body modifications still be there in years to come. Give yourself at least a year. If you STILL want to have gauges after a year passes, go for it.
Don't forget to tell your parents that, too.

I hope you'll all achieve some medium ground, but if your parents still say no - please, listen to them. Even if you feel their reasons are invalid, they are still your parents and until you bacome an adult legally they are responsible for you. You wouldn't want to hurt your parents, would you?

Fuzzy

ps BTW I know Cental is being very cool with gauging but by encouraging you to "think for yourself" he is not really doing that- what he is doing he is encouraging you to do against your parents which is NOT "thinking for yourself".
because who knows what would you think if you REALLY thought for yourself.
also, encouraging minor to disobeying your parent IS NOT a GOOD FRIEND advice. I am sure you know it.

 

[Reba]

... while 15 year old is still consider underage by law, it does not mean she is a child. She will be almost 16, and by law 16 year old have the right to leave home and start their own life...

"AGE OF MAJORITY - The age when a person acquires all the rights and responsibilities of being an adult. In most states, the age is 18."
http://www.lectlaw.com/def/a023.htm

...15 year old does not automaticly mean she is a child, you don't know what the poster is like in real life, who knows maybe she is one of those mature woman who is ready for the real world.

You are right that none of us know the poster in real life, so we must be extremely careful in what we tell her. Maybe she is mature beyond her years, maybe she is emotionally unstable; who knows? That is the point. Her parents do know the real person, and they are legally and morally responsible for her.

... i know for you it may be ok, but this girl barely knows you, and while other may know u better than the girl, senting her things in the mail and getting her to give out address may not be a great idea, because of all dangers online now...

You are right. I am sure that Cental is a fine person, not a pedophile, not a stalker. However, these days, people must respect privacy and security of minors. I myself am a law-abiding granny, no danger to anyone. BUT I would never dream of asking an unknown minor to send me his/her address or phone number over the internet. It is totally inappropriate and dangerous for both parties.

 

[apathrev]

Now, I am getting tired of this ping-pong game you do,
but for one more time:

Feel free to play ping pong with yourself all you want. If you would have read my previous post, you would obviously have seen where I stated I'm not continuing the "parental disobedience" discussion, and if you wish to continue it to PM me.

You are right. I am sure that Cental is a fine person, not a pedophile, not a stalker.

Ah. Shucks, Reba. :P

However, these days, people must respect privacy and security of minors. I myself am a law-abiding granny, no danger to anyone. BUT I would never dream of asking an unknown minor to send me his/her address or phone number over the internet. It is totally inappropriate and dangerous for both parties.

Let me clear this up, then I'm done. My experience since I've started using the internet, is I've been very trusting of the people I've made contact with, mostly because I know the warning signs. I've made several deals with people over the internet, and I've also met several people I've met over the internet. Heck, I met one of my best friends on a forum much like this. So, to me, it is not unsual to make an offer of such. I apologize to Lil_Country_Gal, if you think I overstepped my bounds. I never requested for any personal information. Just made an offer to send her something,

 

[Audiofuzzy]

I juts wish to clarify something:

Lil Girl wrote:
>>My cousin is sending me her plugs so i can gauge my ears but my parents think it looks so ugly and i'm just doing it cause i must have low self image. they think it's gonna compltly disfigure my face and it's not reversible.<<

You, Cental, wrote:

>>Sbe's akready stated her parent's reasons are because they're afraid of how it would reflect on them. <<


either I missed a post or you are making something up.

Fuzzy

 

[apathrev]

http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=404369&postcount=9 :roll:

 

[Audiofuzzy]

>>>On that note that's what my parents do they think by letting me do this i'm gonna become full goth sorry no i do not look good in black lol and that's what i've been trying to tell my parents i honestly don't think i'm gonna go past and 8 so why freak cause it will go back<<<

>> they think by letting me do this i'm gonna become full goth<<

Her parents thinking she may go gothic full way DOES NOT mean they think it reflects on them

>>sorry no i do not look good in black lol <<
Lil Girl is joking here there is no fear of her going full goth

>>>and that's what i've been trying to tell my parents<<<
she says she tried to reassure her parents she won't go full goth (because she doesn't even think she look good in black)

>>i honestly don't think i'm gonna go past and 8 so why freak cause it will go back<<

right NOW she THINKS she won't go bigger than that 8 g,
and since according to you (you still DID NOT GUARANTEED IT) the hole will shrink back so why freak out.
BTW it means she has pre-conceived notion of having her hole closed up, proof that she does have mixed feelings about gauging.


NOWHERE it says her parents don't want her to do that because it reflects on them. NOWHERE.

Fuzzy

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I would not let my teenage children to change or do anything with their body until they are 18 years old. (I would have a good talk with them to not do too far on their bodies).

I would advise you to obey your parent's rule until you are 18 years old. Yes, I'm agree with others here that the scar will stay forever... If you want to rid of those scar then the lasar is the one who can do it but it's not cheap.

Every piercing/tattoos stores are not offer you to have it unless they get your parent's permission accord the children protection law. (I didn't know about your country but here in Germany, yes).