# of Sexual Partners

Warped

Warped

New Member
Joined
Jul 24, 2011
Messages
100
Reaction score
0
Does the number of sexual partners of your significant other (or desired future partner) matter to you?

Should it matter much especially in a small community like the deaf's as you might know several former partners?

If it does, then what would be the number that makes it too little or too much?
 
Nope. A wise person doesn't even bring the subject up. After you've been married a long time, it seems silly.
 
It only matters to me because my boyfriend and I have been together since age 13 and I know we were the first for each other. If either of us had any number but one, it would mean there was cheating involved.
 
To me it matters ,
This topic hasn't come up between my boyfriend and I YET.
I think if I can't count it on my two hands than its to many for me.. If its more than that I need an explanation , it just makes me worried... what if I can't live up to the other girls , what if I'm not good enough (I'm a virgin) what if he has an STD . SO many questions to be asked .
 
hmm good point. I come from a background where my old freinds circle is different then the couple more I gone through as I age and grow from high school to college to getting married and now with kids.
I know of a few freinds where thier circle of freinds really has not changed since grade school and still in the SAME circle after being married with kids. Now- these people seems to be a drama circle as they know who did what and when. not something I like to be part of.

having said that- the number of sexual partners really doesnt matter as long you have grown from the previous relationship and not just doing it as a #uck buddy thing. changing the friend circles is not a bad thing as long you are able to keep a few friends for life along the way like I have.
 
The number of partners doesn't really matter for me, its more faithfullness. If I were to say it mattered, then I would be a hippocrate. The important thing for me is that we both are tested for any STI's, and come up clean. I never use to be tested, and with how many people I've been with I could have easily had something. Thankfully I was lucky. I think if you only date other Deaf people, then you are bound to know their exes if you know many people in the community... its not something that can be helped really.
 
Number doesn't matter because it means nothing. That is one reason why I hate Deaf community sometimes. People know this or that person. I don't. I wasn-t there so I don't need to know who did what. Other people can keep their score. I've my relationship.
 
I'd be very leery of dating someone who was sexually promiscuous. And if the relationship should become serious, then, in fact, I would ask and go for testing for any disease beforehand. That's one of the reasons I've been celibate for a number of years. I value my health and well-being. Asking for a sexually transmitting disease test (AIDS, STD's, etc.) before becoming sexually active with someone, should not hurt anyone's feelings. Then again, wait 6-8 months unless using a condom every time.
 
number of partners

I have been alone along time (by choice) but now I am in love with someone. I firstly would not get involved with anyone who didnot have the same understanding of commitment that I did. I of course know this man had other partners in the past. He is attractive, smart and funny. To my surprise, he offered to be tested. I did not ask him to. He was fine and I couldn't be happier. The real clincher was that he wanted to do it for me. "To honor" me he said...amazing,
Wow! The wait was worth it...Smiling..Midnight..♥♥
 
If I meet a guy, we get to know each other through conversation, and tells me has slept with 100 girls, or any other large number, I'd think that he has some type of issues whether it's commitment or insecurity. Even during the young, and adventurous stages does one need to have a large number of old partners by the age of, lets say 30/35. I couldn't and wouldn't take him seriously.
 
I used to be much more concerned about this, but as I get older, it's not as big a deal for me. It still does matter though. For example, if you have to add extra appendages to your body in order to count your number, well . . .
 
It bothered me more when I was young and immature.

Now I only care that they don't have STD and that we both share the same idea of what commitment means because I have a, how do you say, wider view of sexuality than most people.
 
Does anyone remember the old Mary Tyler Moore show when Mary had some sort of discussion with her boss, Lou, about "the number?" If I'm remembering right - according to Lou "the number" should be "3." More than that and you were a bad girl!

Personally, I think it's not so much the exact number that matters; it's more the context of the former relationships. Although I agree with KStiletto and TheWriteAlex that super-high numbers don't say anything good about a person.

But by a certain age, I'd also be concerned if the number were "zero." How do you get to be age 30, say, and never been in love enough to have had an intimate relationship? It's possible, of course, but I'd like to know why. If it's due to sincerely-held moral/ethical reasons, fine. If it's because the person is scared of sex and intimacy, that might be reason for concern.
 
Beach girl said:
Does anyone remember the old Mary Tyler Moore show when Mary had some sort of discussion with her boss, Lou, about "the number?" If I'm remembering right - according to Lou "the number" should be "3." More than that and you were a bad girl!

Personally, I think it's not so much the exact number that matters; it's more the context of the former relationships. Although I agree with KStiletto and TheWriteAlex that super-high numbers don't say anything good about a person.

But by a certain age, I'd also be concerned if the number were "zero." How do you get to be age 30, say, and never been in love enough to have had an intimate relationship? It's possible, of course, but I'd like to know why. If it's due to sincerely-held moral/ethical reasons, fine. If it's because the person is scared of sex and intimacy, that might be reason for concern.
Click to expand...

a high number of partners could just mean the person was searching in all the wrong places... generalizations like that (saying it doesn't say anything good about the person) could keep you from finding the love of your life. If my SO had been so concerned about numbers, we wouldn't have been together for 4 years... and I have NEVER cheated on anyone... yes my numbers are high, but that DOESN'T make me a bad person.
 
ash345 said:
a high number of partners could just mean the person was searching in all the wrong places... generalizations like that (saying it doesn't say anything good about the person) could keep you from finding the love of your life. If my SO had been so concerned about numbers, we wouldn't have been together for 4 years... and I have NEVER cheated on anyone... yes my numbers are high, but that DOESN'T make me a bad person.
Click to expand...

Maybe you were a good match for each other in terms of prior experiences or expectations. Context matters; if you were both ok with whatever your numbers were, then you were both ok. No one else's opinions matter, really.

Being concerned about numbers didn't stop me from finding the love of my life; we're going to celebrate our silver wedding anniversary (25 years of marital bliss! :lol: ) in a couple months.

We were about equal in terms of prior relationships. More importantly, we were on the same page about commitment, fidelity, and all those things that matter when you're thinking about marrying someone.
 
Beach girl said:
Maybe you were a good match for each other in terms of prior experiences or expectations. Context matters; if you were both ok with whatever your numbers were, then you were both ok. No one else's opinions matter, really.

Being concerned about numbers didn't stop me from finding the love of my life; we're going to celebrate our silver wedding anniversary (25 years of marital bliss! :lol: ) in a couple months.

We were about equal in terms of prior relationships. More importantly, we were on the same page about commitment, fidelity, and all those things that matter when you're thinking about marrying someone.
Click to expand...

my SO's experiance (in terms of #'s) was much, much lower than mine... no doubt about that. Its just that I don't like sweeping comments like that (people who have alot of sexual experiance or a high number of partners are bad people, or anything of the sort) My SO and I were on the same page about commitment what cheating means and that there are NO excuses for it. Neither of us had ever cheated on a partner before, and neither of us ever will. Also, we were both upfront about our sexual history, number of partners, and if we had been tested for STI's (we both had, everything from a standard blood panel, to AIDS testing).
 
That isn't a question I have ever felt the need to address in a relationship, and would be insulted if the question were asked of me. Thank goodness I have always been involved with men that realized it was an innapropriate and meaningless question.
 
former president of Cuba - Fidel Castro, had over 2,000 with women. He damn man!
 
Back
Top