my journey to a life without ocd and much more

highlands said:
Yes,I would like to read some papers that available to me .. I really like such documents as long as they are understandable to non specialists.
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I will send you what I can find, and if you have problems with any of the technical jargon, just ask me a question. I will do my best to explain it to you.
 
*telephone rings*

hello, this is highlands... Is that jillio ? :giggle:
 
highlands said:
Here is the new thread.

I'm starting my own thread about my treatment against obsessive compulsive disorder and social phobia.

a few sentence about myself.

I'm a man of thirty three . I've had obssesive compulsive disorder about last twelve years (since last months of 1995 ).

My obsesions are especially on following

- clearliness.. avoiding touching things and people due to dirt suspicion
- mental obsesions such as thinking non sense things, swearing God , thinking of sexual scenes with religional subjects .. this obsessions has made me very disturbed for years..
- controlling the stove,lights etc before going to bed and leaving the house

My obsesions are currently at moderate level.In the past, I had severe and profound obsessions levels.

I had a few treatments in the past but all were left unfinished :Oops:

I wanted to get rid of this useless disorder and to have a better quality of life

I'll go on :)
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Geeeez, what a lot to have to deal with. I have read all of your posts on this. I so totally admire you for working so hard to combat it.

I went through about 2 years where I started getting terrible anxiety attacks. They were very real, and I was afraid to leave my house because I was afraid I was gonna faint in public. some people thought I could control the attacks, but I honestly never knew when I would just get his with panic and adrenalyn so bad that I feared a heart attack or stroke. the first time it hit me, I was on the freeway, very happliy headed to work. No major stressors or threatening situations. It just hit me, and I had to pull over. I didn't drive for about 2 or 3 years because I feared I could not control the anxiety if it hit me and didn't want to be dangerous to anyone else.

They put me on blood pressure medicine and Prozac, which made me sicker and dizzier. I don't know that it is totally gone, but I have been able to function pretty well for the last year or so. I can drive again, but I still have that fear of what I would do if I ever got hit like that again.

I said that to say that it is normal for people to not understand why you can't seem to control the feeling in you that compels you to actions that you don't want to do logically. Some people think that panic attacks are a joke, but if it happens to you it is not funny. It takes away your freedom to live like you want to. I am praying for you to get better, and I understand that your battle is real. Just know that you are not alone, or weird or anything, and a lot of people out here are probably sending you ther prayers and best wishes.

Good luck... :) Jeanie... still chasin the dream of a better tomorrow for ALL!
 
dreamchaser said:
Geeeez, what a lot to have to deal with. I have read all of your posts on this. I so totally admire you for working so hard to combat it.

I went through about 2 years where I started getting terrible anxiety attacks. They were very real, and I was afraid to leave my house because I was afraid I was gonna faint in public. some people thought I could control the attacks, but I honestly never knew when I would just get his with panic and adrenalyn so bad that I feared a heart attack or stroke. the first time it hit me, I was on the freeway, very happliy headed to work. No major stressors or threatening situations. It just hit me, and I had to pull over. I didn't drive for about 2 or 3 years because I feared I could not control the anxiety if it hit me and didn't want to be dangerous to anyone else.

They put me on blood pressure medicine and Prozac, which made me sicker and dizzier. I don't know that it is totally gone, but I have been able to function pretty well for the last year or so. I can drive again, but I still have that fear of what I would do if I ever got hit like that again.

I said that to say that it is normal for people to not understand why you can't seem to control the feeling in you that compels you to actions that you don't want to do logically. Some people think that panic attacks are a joke, but if it happens to you it is not funny. It takes away your freedom to live like you want to. I am praying for you to get better, and I understand that your battle is real. Just know that you are not alone, or weird or anything, and a lot of people out here are probably sending you ther prayers and best wishes.

Good luck... :) Jeanie... still chasin the dream of a better tomorrow for ALL!
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OOOOOPS,,, I said I was taking Prozac, I meant Paxil. No wonder I wasn't sure how to spell Prozac, it was the wrong word.. teehee... Anyway, I am not taking any meds anymore.. only took them for a few months, but since my husband died, I have no insurance anymore. I seemed to be doing well without them now, and they made me really dizzy anyway. I was lucky. I just hope that the anxiety never returns.
 
Highlands, I hope everything continues to get better for you.

I myself was dealing with a form of OCD. It started 16 years ago when I was 22, when I got my first apartment. I was constantly checking the stove, oven, kitchen faucet, bath faucet, bath and kitchen fans to be sure they were off, etc. I would leave my apartment and end up going back and back at least 2-3 times, or more. And then I would worry all the way to work that I forgot something.

It lasted about 13 years. I finally figured out one day what was making me so nervous. I am deaf, and if I left the stove on or the oven on, something might burn and I wouldn't hear the smoke alarms. If I left the kitchen and bath fans on, they might get overheated and short out. If I left the kitchen or bath faucets running, I would not hear that water running and cause a flooded floor. I may be oversimplying it, but I did feel that all my worries were related to not hearing these things.

So I forced myself to check things ONCE and say it to myself "OK" when I checked each room. Instead of 2-3 or more times. Gradually I learned to be okay with checking things just once, and I finally phased it out. There is an occasional day where I do panic after I've left home (I now live in a house) but instead of letting myself go back to check things, I think instead "Well, if I left the water running and it floods the basement, well .. it's only a house." That might sound really frivolous, but it's what helps me get through a time that I'm worrying. A basement carpet and other items can be replaced. And I've always come back home at the end of whereever I was going and find that everything is ok. In the 16 years since that started, I always found that I never did leave the water running, stove on or fans running, or anything else.
 
AlleyCat said:
Highlands, I hope everything continues to get better for you.

I myself was dealing with a form of OCD. It started 16 years ago when I was 22, when I got my first apartment. I was constantly checking the stove, oven, kitchen faucet, bath faucet, bath and kitchen fans to be sure they were off, etc. I would leave my apartment and end up going back and back at least 2-3 times, or more. And then I would worry all the way to work that I forgot something.

It lasted about 13 years. I finally figured out one day what was making me so nervous. I am deaf, and if I left the stove on or the oven on, something might burn and I wouldn't hear the smoke alarms. If I left the kitchen and bath fans on, they might get overheated and short out. If I left the kitchen or bath faucets running, I would not hear that water running and cause a flooded floor. I may be oversimplying it, but I did feel that all my worries were related to not hearing these things.

So I forced myself to check things ONCE and say it to myself "OK" when I checked each room. Instead of 2-3 or more times. Gradually I learned to be okay with checking things just once, and I finally phased it out. There is an occasional day where I do panic after I've left home (I now live in a house) but instead of letting myself go back to check things, I think instead "Well, if I left the water running and it floods the basement, well .. it's only a house." That might sound really frivolous, but it's what helps me get through a time that I'm worrying. A basement carpet and other items can be replaced. And I've always come back home at the end of whereever I was going and find that everything is ok. In the 16 years since that started, I always found that I never did leave the water running, stove on or fans running, or anything else.
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Congratualtions on the personal insight you have developed regarding your OCD tendencies. That insight is something that we, as couselors, strive to help clients obtain because it is the key to changing the behavior and thought patterns.
 
How did you stop take an anti-depressant drug? Are you ok without them? Celexa is my currently. I am gong to get off before I get pregnant. I am glad you're doing well so far. I took a prozac, wellburtin, depokate, zyprenxa and zoloft. They weren't help me very well. Celexa is treat for my depress and stress that all. I don't have any mental disorder.

dreamchaser said:
OOOOOPS,,, I said I was taking Prozac, I meant Paxil. No wonder I wasn't sure how to spell Prozac, it was the wrong word.. teehee... Anyway, I am not taking any meds anymore.. only took them for a few months, but since my husband died, I have no insurance anymore. I seemed to be doing well without them now, and they made me really dizzy anyway. I was lucky. I just hope that the anxiety never returns.
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Highlands, I just saw this thread and I have to applaud you for sharing your experiences and stories with us.

Hope everything works out for u! :)
 
it's been long time since my battle against ocd..

well, I'm on medication ...and my ocd has been closer to mild level.. I'm pretty relieved.. but this isn't the end. My way has been changed a lot ,though... I'm more focused on my feelings and depression than ocd.

I've been reading some books that have helped me much. I have especially liked the basic roots of rational emotive therapy by Albert Ellis. I've been reading some of his books and a book by David Burns : Feeling Good.
 
I've been watching segments on the A&E channel regarding OCD....very interesting....and I applaud you for coming forth with all this.

Inasmuch, I too, (as I've gotten older) "double-check" before leaving my home, but it isn't to the extreme requiring meds or therapy.

Wishing you well....and peace of mind to follow....
 
it's been long time since my last post. Update :D

As of now , I am currently not a severe sufferer of ocd. I used medicine for about 1.5 years . it's been several months since I quit medicine. I am so much relieved . Although my ocd still disturbs me at times , I can manage and get relax again.
 
That's wonderful!....I still have the habit of looking at pictures to "make sure" they are straight on the wall....even at restaurants. It always bothered me if they were crooked....and I mentioned this to a waitress one time, and she looked at me as if I'd lost my marbles! Keeping things "in place and orderly" also, which became a habit and any clutter on the floor botheres me. I also will not tolerate any "wire hangers" in my home! I've a very mild case, and am able to control it well. As for washing hands, my boys do each time they come home from school, which is a good habit actually, and before they eat, etc. But we don't go overboard about it.

Best of luck to you!
 
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