My GF still hangs out with her ex

[ember]

I am not passing judgements or making assumptions because y'all don't talk to whoever you choose to everyday so why is that I'm being judged because I do?

 

[lanapoo]

When did we start meaning "couple" we as in him and me or him and I. We as a couple is assumed because the assumption is being made that I see us as a couple and I do not at all.

We never said you "are a couple" with him. We are trying to tell you that even if you're just friends with him and nothing more, you are still making him neglect his wife. It is interfering with their relationship and she already sent you a message to cool it down.

 

[Reba]

I've seen in some tv shows where some daughters say that they call their moms/sisters everyday for decades.

what do you think about that? IMO - it's emotionally unhealthy

They must have a lot to say.

 

[ember]

I wasn't asking you, steinhauer said that I referred to us a couple. And I am not making him neglect his wife.

 

[Banjo]

I've seen in some tv shows where some daughters say that they call their moms/sisters everyday for decades.

That's nothing new. A lot of women I know do that.

 

[lanapoo]

I wasn't asking you, steinhauer said that I referred to us a couple. And I am not making him neglect his wife.

I believe his wife will disagree. This isn't about you. This is about how she feels. She already sent pretty obvious signs of her discomfort with you spending time with her husband.

And I don't want to hear from you, "She doesn't understand our friendship." I've already gone through that and it's a load of crock. It's about setting boundaries and having respect.

 

[Reba]

The only person I call every single day is my wife. I do call my parents quite often but that's because I have a very healthy relationship with them.

When we're apart overnight or out of town, then Hubby and I call each other every day, if possible. When he was out to sea or overseas it was not possible. (No cell phones in those days.) Also, in the olden days, long distance calls were very expensive, so we had to limit them, even to our parents and each other.

If my mom was still alive I would probably call her frequently. I miss chatting with her.

 

[Banjo]

When we're apart overnight or out of town, then Hubby and I call each other every day, if possible. When he was out to sea or overseas it was not possible. (No cell phones in those days.) Also, in the olden days, long distance calls were very expensive, so we had to limit them, even to our parents and each other.

If my mom was still alive I would probably call her frequently. I miss chatting with her.

Thank God for technology, eh? When I was in California, I was able to talk to her through iChat on my MacBook Pro for a bit every night before she went to bed. I really appreciate the fact that we have the technology to do so today.

 

[Steinhauer]

When did we start meaning "couple" we as in him and me or him and I. We as a couple is assumed because the assumption is being made that I see us as a couple and I do not at all.

No, but his wife could take it as an implication since her husband and yourself view her as the "problem" in this situation.

 

[Reba]

Thank God for technology, eh? When I was in California, I was able to talk to her through iChat on my MacBook Pro for a bit every night before she went to bed. I really appreciate the fact that we have the technology to do so today.

Yep, technology is wonderful.

When Hubby was in the Navy there were weeks that I didn't hear from him. Even then, it would be a very quick call.

When our parents and grandparents were all alive, they lived in CT, MI, CA, and VA, while we lived in SC. Every call was an expensive long-distance one. We had to spread them out and take turns.

When I was a pre-teen, I couldn't even chat on the phone with my local friends. We had a party line, so we had to share time with another family. Also, you never really knew for sure whether or not someone was listening in. Sometimes they would cut in and ask me to hang up. It was awful!

 

[Steinhauer]

Yep, technology is wonderful.

When Hubby was in the Navy there were weeks that I didn't hear from him. Even then, it would be a very quick call.

When our parents and grandparents were all alive, they lived in CT, MI, CA, and VA, while we lived in SC. Every call was an expensive long-distance one. We had to spread them out and take turns.

When I was a pre-teen, I couldn't even chat on the phone with my local friends. We had a party line, so we had to share time with another family. Also, you never really knew for sure whether or not someone was listening in. Sometimes they would cut in and ask me to hang up. It was awful!

A friend's mother told me about those days. She said it was awful, and sometimes funny.

 

[ember]

Now I'm emotionally unhealthy because I talk to my friends everyday and so are they because inturn they talk to me.

I throw my hands up

 

[Reba]

A friend's mother told me about those days. She said it was awful, and sometimes funny.

Party lines were inconvenient and embarrassing. Thankfully, we didn't know the other party face-to-face.

 

[Banjo]

Yep, technology is wonderful.

When Hubby was in the Navy there were weeks that I didn't hear from him. Even then, it would be a very quick call.

When our parents and grandparents were all alive, they lived in CT, MI, CA, and VA, while we lived in SC. Every call was an expensive long-distance one. We had to spread them out and take turns.

When I was a pre-teen, I couldn't even chat on the phone with my local friends. We had a party line, so we had to share time with another family. Also, you never really knew for sure whether or not someone was listening in. Sometimes they would cut in and ask me to hang up. It was awful!

I vaguely remember the late 80s since I was born in 1983. I do recall how different the telephone system was and how it worked in these days. For instance, we only had one telecom and we had to go to The Phone Store to buy phones. Heck, we had rotary phones, not touch-tone phones. It was also illegal to install another phone jack without their authorization... as stupid as that sounds. Now it's completely different. We have several telecoms, we can install any phone jacks we please to and more. Sorry for going off the topic!

 

[lanapoo]

Now I'm emotionally unhealthy because I talk to my friends everyday and so are they because inturn they talk to me.

I throw my hands up

This is about their marriage, not your friendship. I don't care who you talk to every day, but this is their marriage and you're contributing to their problems.

So don't be selfish and think that she's the problem. I don't see you as a bad person, you just need to see the other POV on this.

 

[lanapoo]

I vaguely remember the late 80s since I was born in 1983. I do recall how different the telephone system was and how it worked in these days. For instance, we only had one telecom and we had to go to The Phone Store to buy phones. Heck, we had rotary phones, not touch-tone phones. It was also illegal to install another phone jack without their authorization... as stupid as that sounds. Now it's completely different. We have several telecoms, we can install any phone jacks we please to and more. Sorry for going off the topic!

All this talk is reminding me about the old TTY system I had in the 80's! God, I feel so old. We don't even use them anymore.

 

[Reba]

I vaguely remember the late 80s since I was born in 1983. I do recall how different the telephone system was and how it worked in these days. For instance, we only had one telecom and we had to go to The Phone Store to buy phones. Heck, we had rotary phones, not touch-tone phones. It was also illegal to install another phone jack without their authorization... as stupid as that sounds. Now it's completely different. We have several telecoms, we can install any phone jacks we please to and more.

Yes, we had rotary dial phones and limited jacks. One way around the jack limitation was to get reeeeaaaalllllyyy lllloooonnnnggg phone cords. We would carry the phone from room to room with a long cord. (BTW, our jacks were hard wired in those days, not plug ins.) My brother was geeky and knew his way around Radio Shack, so we improvised.

Until AT&T was broken up into the Baby Bells, it wasn't even legal to own AT&T phones; they were leased, and had to be returned if you moved.

Sorry for going off the topic!

Nice diversion from the drama.

 

[Steinhauer]

This is about their marriage, not your friendship. I don't care who you talk to every day, but this is their marriage and you're contributing to their problems.

So don't be selfish and think that she's the problem. I don't see you as a bad person, you just need to see the other POV on this.

I agree, ember, no one is calling you a bad person. Many of the people who are contributing have already been through hellacious situations where it has been a "problem".

It isn't worth it.

 

[Banjo]

Yes, we had rotary dial phones and limited jacks. One way around the jack limitation was to get reeeeaaaalllllyyy lllloooonnnnggg phone cords. We would carry the phone from room to room with a long cord. (BTW, our jacks were hard wired in those days, not plug ins.) My brother was geeky and knew his way around Radio Shack, so we improvised.

Until AT&T was broken up into the Baby Bells, it wasn't even legal to own AT&T phones; they were leased, and had to be returned if you moved.

Same here, they were leased too as well. I remember that. Bell Canada had to be split up too as well from what I know. Bell Canada at one point was largely owned by AT&T, so that would explain their business tactics!

My father did the same thing, he always bought stuff from Radio Shack to work around the house with. We used to have Radio Shack until they were bought out and rebranded to The Source by Circuit City.

 

[Reba]

Same here, they were leased too as well. I remember that. Bell Canada had to be split up too as well from what I know. Bell Canada at one point was largely owned by AT&T, so that would explain their business tactics!

My father did the same thing, he always bought stuff from Radio Shack to work around the house with. We used to have Radio Shack until they were bought out and rebranded to The Source by Circuit City.

We still have Radio Shacks in our town. I guess some stayed independent.

When I was little, my dad took care of anything electrical at our home. He was an electrical engineer, and even worked for Bell Labs in New Jersey in the 50's. After my parents divorced, my brother took over the electrical household projects. He started working at electronics stores at age 16.