misunderstood communication problems....

Jclarke said:
But it will be like it is for the rest of your life, but there is always a way to get through of yourself. You know what I mean?
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yeah...really do. like what?

I absolutely can't stand communication barriers, it baffles me to no end. now I have this attitude and look at them as if they think I'm that stupid then they're that stupid and shrug it off. I've had enough. fed up. there should not be one too much misunderstanding on the same subject if they're your true friends. period.

period. I mean, no one should and should know better than making the same mistake twice. nothing to do with perfection, sorry.
 
freckles said:
yeah....really do. like what?

I absolutely can't stand communication barriers, it baffles me to no end. now I have this attitude and look at them as if they think I'm that stupid then they're that stupid. I've had enough. fed up. there would be no one too much misunderstandings if they're your true friends. period.

period.
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I think the most important thing is to recognize it, then try to get around it. Even between friends there can be problems, but the key thing is you can get over them if both people are patient.

It is hard to 'think outside yourself', and I can attest to this. It is possible to have empathy, etc, but what someone else knows, thinks, and feels, will always be 'alien' to some extent. You can never know -exactly- what they feel, because you are not them. You can get pretty close to knowing, though.
 
jenni-m said:
I think the most important thing is to recognize it, then try to get around it. Even between friends there can be problems, but the key thing is you can get over them if both people are patient.

It is hard to 'think outside yourself', and I can attest to this. It is possible to have empathy, etc, but what someone else knows, thinks, and feels, will always be 'alien' to some extent. You can never know -exactly- what they feel, because you are not them. You can get pretty close to knowing, though.
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I wasn't speaking of progress actually and yeah, it IS hard to 'walk in their shoes' too when someone underestimates one; being disrespectful and like you said, impatient. how can I care after they looked at me differently/lowly, especially after all months of understandings? all they thought were I (as a deafie) have had a problem and that I need a professional help just because I don't express or word in right way. or, in THEIR way for them to understand us.

they'll never understand anyway, I strongly believe in this old saying, you have to be deaf to understand this big L word, Language (communication barrier). to empathize one in some extent as well. especially for us, with shitty barriers we have been and forever will be living with. no question.

thank you for sharing thoughts with me, jenni.
 
freckles said:
I wasn't speaking of progress actually and yeah, it IS hard to 'walk in their shoes' too when someone underestimates one; being disrespectful and like you said, impatient. how can I care after they looked at me differently/lowly, especially after all months of understandings? all they thought were I (as a deafie) have had a problem and that I need a professional help just because I don't express or word in right way. or, in THEIR way for them to understand us.

they'll never understand anyway, I strongly believe in this old saying, you have to be deaf to understand this big L word, Language (communication barrier). to empathize one in some extent as well. no question.
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I know, and I wasn't disputing. (sorry)
Just pointing out that being friends does not make everything always ok, either. But yes, some people will never learn...

Edit:
For example... I have a friend who's 'first language' is not English, let alone any kind of sign, and is also hearing (and seeing)... there can some times be miscommunication between us, and there have been a couple of disputes between us, but we always recognize that neither one of us was intending to 'be a jerk'... and we work it out. If one of us got frustrated and just 'gave up', we would both be missing out on a good friendship.
 
jenni-m said:
I know, and I wasn't disputing. (sorry)
Just pointing out that being friends does not make everything always ok, either. But yes, some people will never learn...

Edit:
For example... I have a friend who's 'first language' is not English, let alone any kind of sign, and is also hearing (and seeing)... there can some times be miscommunication between us, and there have been a couple of disputes between us, but we always recognize that neither one of us was intending to 'be a jerk'... and we work it out. If one of us got frustrated and just 'gave up', we would both be missing out on a good friendship.
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exactly, if they knew (read: knew) I didn't mean anything intentionally, they wouldn't be jerks.

don't apologize, I guess I misunderstood you. as you have but as long as we call each other no names, communicating our best clarifying without assumptions, insults, tempers or lies we'll be fine. one thing though, I didn't say friends would make everything okay, it's impossible anyway. different characters, beliefs and values for life. like us. no one can please everyone.

I'm glad you could share more and don't hate me yet lol.
 
freckles said:
exactly, if they knew (read: knew) I didn't mean anything intentionally, they wouldn't be jerks.

don't apologize, I guess I misunderstood you. as you have but as long as we call each other no names, communicating our best clarifying without assumptions, tempers or insults we'll be fine. one thing though, I didn't say friends would make everything okay, it's impossible anyway. different characters, beliefs and values for life.
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Yeah, haha.
Miscommunication right there.
I have a hard time inferring things which are omitted or not in words which I 'expect' to read. (my thought process is really different from my writing process)

It is also my own fault for not stopping to ask, but it happens so often that it becomes a nuisance to clarify every little thing... and I some times just end up taking a risky assumption, without meaning to or thinking about it.
 
I agree with Pepe. It is better to talk to face to face rather than through email, text messaging, TTY, etc. That way you can tell if the person you are talking to is lying, angry, teasing, etc.
 
Face to face is the best way to communicate. That way you can tell if the person you are talking to is lying, teasing, mad, etc. You can't tell that stuff through email, text messaging, TTY, etc. :fruit:
 
jenni-m said:
Yeah, haha.
Miscommunication right there.
I have a hard time inferring things which are omitted or not in words which I 'expect' to read. (my thought process is really different from my writing process)

It is also my own fault for not stopping to ask, but it happens so often that it becomes a nuisance to clarify every little thing... and I some times just end up taking a risky assumption, without meaning to or thinking about it.
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again, it wouldn't be a 'nuisance' if we are friends you know? we would want to make sure everything is allright otherwise we would understand each other at the most of time.

but again, that's what questions are out there for! ;) questions always help because you could say I didn't know because I never asked or I could say I didn't know because you never told me - that can lead to miscommunication very well too. as in one of third edition health book says, communication is a basic requirment in any relationship... only if you want to.

I'm just saying (from all posts above I read) that not all misunderstoodings are from innocence. and people abuse that way. toward us, our deafness too. they would (saying WOULD because this world is not an utopia) have tried their best. and but then they lost patience and I'm too much for them to handle.

whose problem is that?
 
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deafbajagal said:
But I WISH there was a way we could be communication barrier free. It sucks when there's a barrier. I can't stand it. Oh, well.
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in 2099

we'll be able to plug a cable into a USB 45.0 port in our temples and hardwire ourselves into each others' brains.
 
^^ Lol.

The communication problem, It's a common thing though. Nothing new.
 
Oh yeah sure there's pleny of muderstanding on just about everything in life also on other Messageboard/forums too... the only way to lessen the muderstanding is to make sure that one other is/are understanding what the converstation begins and ends with..

I know one guy that is complete deaf. he always nods when people talks to him, I was wondering if he really understood what they were saying.. he just says no... he also proceeded to tell me..I just nod to end the converstation sooner... sheesh.. what if the guy was asking him out??? (shocked) lol

we can lessen muderstanding on this forum. if u're trying to be scarasic/being serious/ or being funny on the forum. try to use the smiley emotions that the forum provided to lessen muderstanding and be more pleasing...
well I need to stop rambling... I guess it ain't going no where.. oh well.. I'm off from my soap box..

cheers....
 
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