ladies and gentlemen...theres something I have to admit, and I regret this forever...

Steel X

Steel X

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Hey everyone,

there is something I have to be honest with myself to everyone about myself...

and to someone that I have lost who is very precious, very special, and really did rock my world...til I didnt do something that I should have a long time ago...

I admitted that I have a terrible addiction to pornography, and that I cant really resist girls who flirt with me, yet I would NEVER go that far with other girls when I still have that special person in my life as I NEVER cheated on her, or lied to her, or even break her heart on purpose. I love her so much with all my heart, and she was someone that I NEVER loved so much before because she always treated me very kind with respect, honor, and trust. she was one hell of a perfect girlfriend to me. I felt she has made my life complete, I felt she was the world to me, and I felt that she was definetly the one for me.

But one problem is that for a year we been together, she wasnt very comfortable into something that I was into...pornography and flirting with other girls. she has told me a number of times that she wasnt comfortable with this yet I was foolish and was telling her that its nothing serious, etc...and that porn is just a guys thing and flirting with other girls would never lead to cheat or anything like that. as I said before I never cheated or lied to her. She has been suffering with this problem for a year and I didnt do what she expected me to do so she has went and decided to break up with me, and when she said she dumped me and wanted us to be single for awhile, it was like a major wake up call to me, and I went and told her I would delete all the pornography files off my computer for good and would cut off girls who flirt with me as I flirt back but seems that it was too late for me because her love for me has faded...and I begged her for another chance since I was SO serious about doing what she wanted me to do cause I dont want to lose her AT all but...sigh it was just too late for me so...I didnt do what I should've done sooner...so ladies and gentlemen, this is my fault and I regret it and will not forgive myself for not doin what she expected me to do. Gentlemen, if you have a girlfriend or wife who do not appericate pornography and flirting ACCEPT their feelings and do what they say so you wont lose them like I did.

This is a very hard lesson for me so if I was ever with another girl who do not appericate pornography and flirting, then I would do as she please so to respect her.

pornography is famous for lust and flirting leads to trouble cause it would cause trust issues.

Men, if you are in love with a woman who have such problems like that, then DO something to prove how much u REALLY love them such as to STOP looking at pornography and STOP flirting with other girls. DONT make the same mistake as I did.

So that's all...I already lost her, but I still love her SO much with all my heart and soul that I would DO anything to help gain her trust and love back to me...but I have no other choice but just let her go, since she already got someone else and I guess he knows better than I do when it comes to respecting women's feelings.

So, gentlemen, DONT ever make that mistake when you would regret and blame yourself for a long time like I did cause I'm not going to forgive myself at all for not doing what I should have done sooner.

So, remember gentlemen ALWAYS respect the woman's feelings and i mean ALWAYS.

Thanks for your time and patience and take care everyone...

-Dan aka Steel X

to many apologies to someone out there who I didnt do to meet her needs and demands and I hope someone else out there would just make her happy. I love you. Now good bye.
 
Aw Steel, it's take a lot of guts to admit your mistake in public forum, I hope this girl will see the kind of guy you truly are, I'm very sorry this had happened to you, :hug:
 
Angel said:
Aw Steel, it's take a lot of guts to admit your mistake in public forum, I hope this girl will see the kind of guy you truly are, I'm very sorry this had happened to you, :hug:
Click to expand...

Yea, I agree with Angel. Hopefully, it will help other people if they have the same problems. :)

Hang in there! :hug:
 
aww steel i agree with angel no one is perfect and with the addiction can work on get rid of addiction with some help smile
you are forgiven hugs

i am not perfect that i admit it that i make mistake for letting my ex go cuz i didn't go and i was stuck with no way to get out and i am working on getting out.
 
angel is right, you sure did have a guts how you share your experiences. I can imagine what that can cause. Many has different views about that. Just fight thru
 
It must have been hard for you to admit in open forum about being addicted to pornography that lead to break up. I'm sorry for the turmoil you're feeling now over losing her. I will keep you in my prayers, Dan.
 
Steel,

I admire your testimony, porn does ruin relationships, some people may not agree with me , that's only my opinion. It saddens me to hear your story losing your gf through this situation. Perhaps you can take steps into recovery by getting server that is anti-porn through christian servers to make your start pure. I know it will take sometime to recover this addiction, I will keep you in my prayers. Thanks for sharing

Here's a start Steel, going to change my avatar to resist temptation smile
 
ah steel X, don't feel bad.. I used to be that way til I realized porn was just a fantasy not reality.. so I basically moved on and not worry about porn anymore but sure.. people does have needs when feel lonely will turn to porn but u did brave thing to admit what u did was wrong.. I :applause: u and hope the next girl who will come along into your life and will understand how u had been thru alot in life.. :)
 
sorry about your loss..

One day your love will return you...
I applause you did speak straighten forward front of public on AD what you've done and addiction.
You want to come and clean...

That great start for you!
 
I have to give you props for being so honest. Whether or not you wind up getting back together, it appears you've made a change for the better. Not every woman is uncomfortable with porn, but I'm glad you're getting the message out there that if she IS, it's important to honor those feelings.
 
Steel X

I know we had our talk about this, and I really do know what you are going through right now, I can feel your pains, losing someone you love is a great pain that nobody can really understands unless they walk a mile in their shoes to feel what you're feeling. I've just been there myself and still going through it also. Sometimes you don't know if you should wait for them or attempt to move on, it's a struggle. It's a very emotionally situation that you have to face, when you don't want to. It felt like your heart been crushed 20 times more than you ever felt before. You and I had a real long talk about that, and you know I'm here for you if you needed someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on, or felt like cursing at someone, but be gentle with me. ;)

But, please don't end your life, if you are thinking about it, I know I've done the same thing myself, because I never understand what I ever done was so wrong, I've tried so hard and hard to make things right from relationships to relationships. I've always been honest, faithful, romance, but it seems like it's not enough for them :(

I know you're a great guy, Dan. I know that you made a mistake, but you're only human, people make mistakes in life, and learn from that mistake and hopefully never happen again. But, you gave her the greatest thing of all, You gave her so much love, You were faithful like you said you were, You showed her in so many ways how much you love her. You should be proud of what kind of man you are, most guys would love to be you. ;)

You just need more time to get over the bad incident, as well as to stabilize your emotions it'll take a long healing process in order to do that. Just remember what I said, I'll be there for you when you want someone to talk to because I do care, Dan. You're been a great friend to me, You've been there for me too. We both know it's the hardest thing to go through. You re still young and you might have to go through this a couple more times before you find "her". It sucks I know, and nobody ever wants to go through that kind of pain, but Life isn't going be the way we want it to be.

Nobody can make you get over your pain experience or your love for her if you don't want to. but believe me, there is somebody out there who deserves your love and will love you back the same way. What didn't kill you will only make you stronger, and that's what happened to me. She might have killed your heart, but never will kill your soul. You know the saying, if you love someone so much, You gonna let them go, if they come back to you, it's meant to be, if this person doesn't then this person is a fool. ;) Remember, You did nothing wrong, You didn't lie, you didn't cheat. You were honest with her about your addiction. Have you noticed, Dan most honest people get their heart broken more than those who are liars and cheaters.

Hang in there Dan!! :hug:
 
It's one thing to feel hopelessly lost without the 'one' whom you truly felt connected to and another thing when revealing an obsession that directly/indirectly destroys...tears apart the things, people around you that truly matters the most. Like others mentioned in this thread, it is with great concern as well as seeing how you openly admitted a deep problem, an on-going struggle, etc., here...friend, you have the courage to admit your shortcomings openly, now, take that courage and seek those who can help lead you in the right way, in the right direction...to a point where you'll not only crumble to such time of temptations, but to stand firmly (imagine how a 'King' must stand before his people-- ;) ) and be strong. Don't allow this and whatever how long you may have struggled with this, do not let this defeat YOU. Pull yourself together, slowly arise...in time, you'll not only become stronger and resisting such time of temptations, you'll become a better man, one whereas you will be able to reach many others, friends, family and finally, some woman's heart in ways you may never have dreamed or acheived...bottom line, it'll be so-ever beautiful and the sense of having a new belonging where you'll feel like a man with a new purpose....

Friend, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers--please, do take great care of yourself, do yourself a favor, seek counseling, friends, a church, a group who can help give you the sort of 'lift' you surely need at this hour. Friend, it's time to stand up and become the 'man' you can be (and want to be)!! :)





~RR
 
Hang in there!

That goes for me, as whatever everyone here have said same thing I was going to say... so please hang in there, hun!! U are truley for step in and speak out like that... like Peachly Lady said for being so brave to speak out in the open forums! That was very guts u have there... pls stay strong... hope u can move on to a better life and be happy for urself... :)
 
Oh! Sorry to hear that, hope everything is allright and problems can be solved....I know its difficult for someone to resolve the problems....can be treated in right thing in later in their lives and relationships, I know its very hard to get off that thing I mean the porn thing, I've seen soo many guys going thru themselves and cheats on their wives / girlfriends, I've helped them to stay on their relationships not cheating becuz its not worth of their time (its a waste)! Waste their breaths....

Stay Strong SteelX!!! You're forgiven, and we all still love you as friends! ;) we're here to help and share friendly moments with each others , better understanding each others lives and trust!

HUGS!

OH! BTW....hope she reads this and gets back with you someday and hope she understoods what you have been through....
 
Dan, I read the posts above and can see that they all care about you and so do I. I've gone thru some hurts in my life too when finally at 42 years old, I married my lifelong love, Dave. You're still very young, but still...it hurt you bad. With this hurtful experience, you will become a better man and a better partner for your future lifelong love. We are with you, Dan!
 
Steel X... I'm sure ya had to get this off your chest... yeah it did cost ya the girl ya were in love with..but maybe it a good lesson to learn for the next time ya meet another gal to fall in love, etc... maybe so.. I do hope ya will be all better....
 
Thanks everyone...

I've already quit pornography for good so I dont want to go back and look at porn again as it would remind me of what I were and what made me lose someone so important to me so pornography is considered bad luck when you are in a relationship with someone.

A long time ago, she has told me that porn can ruin relationships and marriage, and frankly, she was obviously right.

because porn can make other girls feel hurt and feel like they are not good enough for their man or anything like that. But for me, I just looked at porn because I like girls, doesnt mean that I love the girl any less when I still look at pornography but I figured as the more I look at porn, the more it would hurt her and I NEVER meant to hurt her on purpose since I admitted it was a stupid addiction of mine since I've been looking at porn for a long time before I even met her.

So remember this...Porn is BAD NEWS. Its just best to look at porn when you are REALLY single, but if you already have a girlfriend or wife, then STOP it immediately. surely porn is just a bunch of pictures or videos of nude women, but they always show "beautiful women with big boobs or perfect looking bodies" or whatever like that, but I never cared about the girl's body I was with...she was still the most beautiful woman I ever seen and met...no matter if shes a tomboy or a girly girl or that she doesnt have on make up or have big boobs or anything like that...what matters most is her PERSONALITY and thats what made me love her even more. So I wish I NEVER looked at porn in the first place and I dont know what caused me to be so addicted to porn...I just really wish I was never like that...it was like a drug addiction to me but with much will power as I try to have, I'm quitting it and dont want to go back to porn EVER again since it would bring me memories of why I looked into porn and why I lost someone over that kind of stuff.

porn can hurt women's feelings very badly, and thats what happened to my own mother too since she was married to a man of 10 years, has looked into porn as well and she was always greatly offended about it but he just didnt care and still looks at it anyway...I guess thats how I got it from him and I am greatly ashamed of it but I'm glad that man is out of our lives for good and porn should be out of my life for good too. I just dont care for it anymore since I rather face reality than fantasy cause this is the REAL world.

So this is my toughest lesson...and this is something I should REALLY change not for the girl, but for myself cause I want to make myself a better person.

So...thanks for all your advices and support in this, ADers...it is quite true that no one is perfect but it is also true that someone like me SHOULD know better than that and I think I just did so I dont want to make that mistake ever again.
 
didn't old day AD that people been tell you to stop spend on porn?

glad you finally did.
 
*speechless* I admire you for admit your mistake to the public here. I hope your girl will read this thread and will give you a chance.

Yes I'm agree with everyone here.

I know how you feeling... I'm sorry how you hurt but you know what it is and improve your mistake next time.

I myself made mistakes as well and improve to correct my mistake for next....
 
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