Just a new girl saying hello!

Anthropomorphic

Anthropomorphic

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Hello! How is everyone doing? I'm not quite sure what to write here. I'm not going to get into my whole life story, so I'll just summarize the recent issues of my deafness. I'm late deafened and have adapted very well. I grew up in the deaf community as a hearing person, so when I lost my hearing there really wasn't any culture shock. Not to say deafness is necessarily a good thing, but it was a bit of a relief for me because I get chronic migraines multiple times a week and sound was a big trigger for them. It’s now been a few years and I’m starting to go through a bit of a transition regarding my deafness. I’m in the process of becoming voice-off. I apparently still speak just fine and use inflection well and correctly, but it’s the incredibly uncomfortable feeling that I get when I speak that really bothers me. I’ve heard that if I stop talking I will eventually forget how to pronounce sounds and get a deaf voice since I have absolutely no hearing left, but I just feel like this is something I need to do for me in order to feel comfortable with myself. I do feel guilty for doing this to my friends who know me as oral, but it’s really weighing down on me to be the one to always make the effort to communicate by lip reading and speaking. It takes more energy than people realize. I’m not all the way voice-off yet because I’m trying to take it slowly for others.

If anyone else has ever made the ‘decision’ to go voice-off, especially when you still have the ability to talk please let me know what it was like. Was it hard? How did others take it? Did it make your life easier or harder? I know some parts will be harder obviously, but I think emotionally I will be better off.

:ty: for reading!
 
Hi, great to meet you! That's pretty neat that even before, you had a connection to the deaf community. How very lucky! And wow, I can imagine- I get headaches something awful too (though it's from irritated nerves in my neck because I sleep like a dork), so I can see it being a relief, as weird as that might seem.

I'm just a regular old hearie, so I can't really put my two cents in on this matter, but just wanted to say welcome!
 
Anthropomorphic said:
Hello! How is everyone doing? I'm not quite sure what to write here. I'm not going to get into my whole life story, so I'll just summarize the recent issues of my deafness. I'm late deafened and have adapted very well. I grew up in the deaf community as a hearing person, so when I lost my hearing there really wasn't any culture shock. Not to say deafness is necessarily a good thing, but it was a bit of a relief for me because I get chronic migraines multiple times a week and sound was a big trigger for them. It’s now been a few years and I’m starting to go through a bit of a transition regarding my deafness. I’m in the process of becoming voice-off. I apparently still speak just fine and use inflection well and correctly, but it’s the incredibly uncomfortable feeling that I get when I speak that really bothers me. I’ve heard that if I stop talking I will eventually forget how to pronounce sounds and get a deaf voice since I have absolutely no hearing left, but I just feel like this is something I need to do for me in order to feel comfortable with myself. I do feel guilty for doing this to my friends who know me as oral, but it’s really weighing down on me to be the one to always make the effort to communicate by lip reading and speaking. It takes more energy than people realize. I’m not all the way voice-off yet because I’m trying to take it slowly for others.

If anyone else has ever made the ‘decision’ to go voice-off, especially when you still have the ability to talk please let me know what it was like. Was it hard? How did others take it? Did it make your life easier or harder? I know some parts will be harder obviously, but I think emotionally I will be better off.

:ty: for reading!
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Welcome!


I speak, and I sign (not together lol)
Personally I see no advantages to stop speaking when I want to and when I'm comfortable doing so. It does have a number of advantages and does make communicating with people in certain situations easier.

I've never ever felt that anyone in my Deaf Community thought I'd be "more Deaf" or "better Deaf" or "more culturally Deaf" if I stopped speaking. Our community doesn't see speech as a threat - just a communication that some of us have and use on occasion.

You're ability to speak is a part of who you are, part of your individual identity (just like it's a part of mine) - and provided YOU (&I) are the one who choses when/if you (&I) speak then it's something that is worth maintaining ... at least in my opinion.

That being said - I completely understand that there are a number of situations where "voice off" is better... because I do the exact same thing for very specific reasons.
When I was taking my ASL classes (wayyyy back when) I made sure that I explained to my instructor privately, then the class that while I was able to speak (I have 99.9% 'hearing' speech) in ASL classes no matter what I was going to be 100% "voice off" - all the time, no matter what. Period. End of story.

I look at being able to speak as something that I happen to be able to do. It has it's uses & it's limitations. There are situations in which being able to speak clearly is a help and other situations where it's a hindrance.

It's a lot easier to maintain clear speech (through practice and use) then it is to attempt to regain speech clarity after not using it at all for a number of years.

Most importantly ... I'm not "less Deaf" because I happen to be able to speak. My Deaf identity is NOT defined by my voice, it's defined by my hands & eyes & heart.

You have to do what's right for you ... but please don't think that shutting off your voice will somehow change your identity...because it won't, it'll just mean that you don't use your voice to speak.
 
Anij said:
Most importantly ... I'm not "less Deaf" because I happen to be able to speak. My Deaf identity is NOT defined by my voice, it's defined by my hands & eyes & heart.

You have to do what's right for you ... but please don't think that shutting off your voice will somehow change your identity...because it won't, it'll just mean that you don't use your voice to speak.
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Thank you for your input. I completely understand where you're coming from. For me, I'm not wanting to be 'more Deaf' or change myself. It's simply that I don't feel comfortable talking in the hearing world because I can't hear myself. I don't know how loud I'm speaking, I forget how to pronouce things sometimes, and there are a few other reasons that are not related to deafness at all. I actually went voice-off for a long period of time twice before. And that was before I lost my hearing. It was due to medical issues as well as emotional and mental issues where becoming voice-off was just much easier on me. I still have those medical issues so it will still be a benefit in that sense. I never want to completely lose the ability to speak, because of course in emergency situations I would be able to get help to someone a lot faster than if I had to sit there writing everything down. I would still speak with my very very close friends who have been there as I lost my hearing and understand it better, but other people make me feel very uncomfortable at times (not from anything they are doing). I also figure, once I become voice-off, if I decided it's just not me and I'm even more uncomfortable with that, then it's not like I can't just undecide it and speak again. But no, I would never want to become more Deaf, or change me in that sense. Although I grew up in the Deaf community wanting to become an interpreter, I was still hearing, so I also grew up in the hearing community. So, I'm not so sure I can say I'm Deaf over deaf because yes I was a part of the Deaf community, but I wasn't deaf while being a part of it until a few years ago. Now it just feels like I'm a deaf girl in a hearing world. As a matter of fact, once I became physically deaf, it felt like people in the Deaf community treated me differently. When I was hearing in the Deaf community they welcomed me with open arms, they gave me my sign name, they invited me everywhere, including their own get togethers that were not part of the deaf socials. When I became deaf, it's like that all stopped. Like now I was just a late deafened girl who used to be a part of the Deaf community. I'm not sure if it was something in me, if I had changed, or what happened. But I do feel less Deaf now that I'm deaf.
 
Hello, nice to meet you. I am deaf, from california, and went to cornell university. where did you go? and where are you from?
 
Run away! Run away!

Nah, just kidding. Welcome. :) Just watch out for ^^^
 
matajan said:
what?

are you single? may i date you?
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No, I'm happily taken by a man who goes to Yale and he's a very good looking hearing who knows ASL. Here's my boyfriend:

422126988_small.jpg


Ps. He's going to be a lawyer.
 
Anthropomorphic said:
Hello! How is everyone doing? I'm not quite sure what to write here. I'm not going to get into my whole life story, so I'll just summarize the recent issues of my deafness. I'm late deafened and have adapted very well. I grew up in the deaf community as a hearing person, so when I lost my hearing there really wasn't any culture shock. Not to say deafness is necessarily a good thing, but it was a bit of a relief for me because I get chronic migraines multiple times a week and sound was a big trigger for them. It’s now been a few years and I’m starting to go through a bit of a transition regarding my deafness. I’m in the process of becoming voice-off. I apparently still speak just fine and use inflection well and correctly, but it’s the incredibly uncomfortable feeling that I get when I speak that really bothers me. I’ve heard that if I stop talking I will eventually forget how to pronounce sounds and get a deaf voice since I have absolutely no hearing left, but I just feel like this is something I need to do for me in order to feel comfortable with myself. I do feel guilty for doing this to my friends who know me as oral, but it’s really weighing down on me to be the one to always make the effort to communicate by lip reading and speaking. It takes more energy than people realize. I’m not all the way voice-off yet because I’m trying to take it slowly for others.

If anyone else has ever made the ‘decision’ to go voice-off, especially when you still have the ability to talk please let me know what it was like. Was it hard? How did others take it? Did it make your life easier or harder? I know some parts will be harder obviously, but I think emotionally I will be better off.

:ty: for reading!
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I am LD myself but have 20+ years of talking and being able to hear myself talk and the docs all say my speech will not be heavily affected. I'm curious as to why you strive for a 'deaf voice' why is it so important to you especially if you are unable to hear it.
 
blank canvas said:
I am LD myself but have 20+ years of talking and being able to hear myself talk and the docs all say my speech will not be heavily affected. I'm curious as to why you strive for a 'deaf voice' why is it so important to you especially if you are unable to hear it.
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I don't want the deaf voice. I just don't want to speak. That's why I would still continue to talk to close friends of mine, so I would be able to keep up with my voice. To me, it's not important how I sound, it's important how I feel. I want to feel comfortable with being myself, and I'm just not comfortable talking.
 
Anthropomorphic said:
Hello! How is everyone doing? I'm not quite sure what to write here. I'm not going to get into my whole life story, so I'll just summarize the recent issues of my deafness. I'm late deafened and have adapted very well. I grew up in the deaf community as a hearing person, so when I lost my hearing there really wasn't any culture shock. Not to say deafness is necessarily a good thing, but it was a bit of a relief for me because I get chronic migraines multiple times a week and sound was a big trigger for them. It’s now been a few years and I’m starting to go through a bit of a transition regarding my deafness. I’m in the process of becoming voice-off. I apparently still speak just fine and use inflection well and correctly, but it’s the incredibly uncomfortable feeling that I get when I speak that really bothers me. I’ve heard that if I stop talking I will eventually forget how to pronounce sounds and get a deaf voice since I have absolutely no hearing left, but I just feel like this is something I need to do for me in order to feel comfortable with myself. I do feel guilty for doing this to my friends who know me as oral, but it’s really weighing down on me to be the one to always make the effort to communicate by lip reading and speaking. It takes more energy than people realize. I’m not all the way voice-off yet because I’m trying to take it slowly for others.

If anyone else has ever made the ‘decision’ to go voice-off, especially when you still have the ability to talk please let me know what it was like. Was it hard? How did others take it? Did it make your life easier or harder? I know some parts will be harder obviously, but I think emotionally I will be better off.

:ty: for reading!
Click to expand...

Sorry am I reading wrong?
 
No, it's just not meant to be the way it sounds. There are two ways that can be percieved. I understand where you are coming from and how you are reading it, but it's meant to mean that I understand you can get a deaf voice, but it's still something I feel like I need to do. I'm not doing this because I wan't the deaf voice. It's just something that may come from not speaking.
 
Ok I have another question if you don't mind, sorry to seem like I am drilling you I just found your thread very interesting
 
blank canvas said:
Ok I have another question if you don't mind, sorry to seem like I am drilling you I just found your thread very interesting
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You're getting on my nerves for asking too many questions!!!





















Oh and hi there. Welcome along :)

Just kidding about the drilling. I personally like to drill. :D
 
blank canvas said:
Ok I have another question if you don't mind, sorry to seem like I am drilling you I just found your thread very interesting
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No, not at all. Sorry, I don't mean to come across that way. I'm just explaining what I meant by what I had written. I apologize.
 
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