Is speaking and listening hard work for hearing people?

Someone, an interpreter, told me... there is a difference.

To hear someone... and to listen to someone. 90% of the people out there "hear," but only 10% "listens." To hear, it require no effort, but it's actually difficult to pay attention to someone which is a completely different ballgame. However when deaf people "hear," they're not actually "hearing," but rather "listening." At least that's how she explained it to me once.
 
evil_queen_lisa said:
i think speaking and *true* listening is hard for hearing people. They can *hear* what the person is saying fine, but to *listen* is hard. I believe it would be the same phenomenon in manual languages too, its easy to *watch* what the person is saying, but hard to truly *listen* (don't know of another word to use) while signing back.
*EQL*
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everytime I go to a resturant, I'm just as awe how people can keep up with the flow of conversation with each other. Are they actually listening to each other at ease?
 
hearing is different to listening. For example, i can hear someone say "that car is old", but i'd have to listen to tell if they are saying a statement that the car is old, or if they are saying it with disgust (they dont like old cars) or with awe (for example a vintage car).

in general, yes, hearing people can easily speak and listen. But to listen to the meaning behind the words is more difficult and many people argue that you cannot speak and truly listen at the same time.

that help any?
*EQL*
 
evil_queen_lisa said:
hearing is different to listening. For example, i can hear someone say "that car is old", but i'd have to listen to tell if they are saying a statement that the car is old, or if they are saying it with disgust (they dont like old cars) or with awe (for example a vintage car).

in general, yes, hearing people can easily speak and listen. But to listen to the meaning behind the words is more difficult and many people argue that you cannot speak and truly listen at the same time.

that help any?
*EQL*
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yes I can see what you are saying. Even at speechreading, I can tell what the person is referring to. Even in posts too... sometimes.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
yes I can see what you are saying. Even at speechreading, I can tell what the person is referring to. Even in posts too... sometimes.
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At my deaf movie night last night, I was paying attention to the lady announcing things. When she gave the name of the movie, she fingerspelled it out and then said it. She asked me if she said it right since she knows that I can still speak. The movie was Amelia. She pronounced it as "amaleeah" and I felt bad telling her the correct way even though she asked me to. She did say that since she has never heard correctly she never knows if she's saying things right or not. I basically told her that it didn't really matter, just as long as she gets the point across. She spelled it out and for a deaf person, that's enough, don't you think? Or, am I wrong?
 
If she asked, you should tell her. She wanted to know so there's nothing wrong with telling her. There's several times I asked someone to pronounce something for me... like the word unique. Just like how a signer asked how to sign something. Either way, yes, she got her point across with her own language.
 
If I am a little bit tired I find it very hard to speak, I know what I want to say but not able to actually make the words flow properly. This was especially bad when I had isolated myself due to depression for about a year, It was definitely very difficult to express myself and took some time to regain the ability to talk fluently.

I also notice that hearing people will sometimes search for a word [ tip of the tongue ] and draw it out visually, which I find quite fascinating.

When I was growing up, I found it hard on many occasions to concentrate on what people were saying, so I would sometimes stare a bit blankly and try to catch up - no idea what that was about.

Song lyrics are very hard for me to understand.

Nightclubs and loud music are not fun to try and have a conversation in if you are hearing, it's uncomfortable with people shouting in your ear and trying to really make sense of it is not easy.

:)
 
Oh I forgot to say, if someone talks softly I tend to rely on lip reading a fair amount to regain lost information, I don't know if that says something about my hearing or if it's normal since I saw above someone else mentioned it's quite normal to use visual cues.

I have noticed since becoming a student of BSL that my ability to communicate with hearing people has increased significantly, it's like I missed a ton of information and now it has all become clear because I actually give the person speaking my attention which I didn't really do properly before.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
everytime I go to a resturant, I'm just as awe how people can keep up with the flow of conversation with each other. Are they actually listening to each other at ease?
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I think they are half listening. I've always been told that in America, people talk more than usual before eating at a restaurant. I don't know really, but I like to get to the eating part. :P

And you shouldn't feel silly for asking because I bet there are people with the same question that feel too silly to ask. I like to read inspirational stories about people who have lost their hearing or sight and have succeeded in life. "Listening" is harder than hearing, I think. I don't think I have really understood it, but that's my guess.
 
untitled said:
I think they are half listening. I've always been told that in America, people talk more than usual before eating at a restaurant. I don't know really, but I like to get to the eating part. :P

And you shouldn't feel silly for asking because I bet there are people with the same question that feel too silly to ask. I like to read inspirational stories about people who have lost their hearing or sight and have succeeded in life. "Listening" is harder than hearing, I think. I don't think I have really understood it, but that's my guess.
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I think they do talk more before eating, but I think it is because they don't really get to talk much throughout the day other than work related issues (They are busy with work, kids, and studies). And you'll read how family dinner if very benefitial for kids.
 
untitled said:
I think they are half listening. I've always been told that in America, people talk more than usual before eating at a restaurant. I don't know really, but I like to get to the eating part. :P
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Me too, but usually have to wait for the food. :lol:
 
Lighthouse77 said:
everytime I go to a resturant, I'm just as awe how people can keep up with the flow of conversation with each other. Are they actually listening to each other at ease?
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Most times, it is dependent on the people at the table. Obviously if it's a couple in love, then yes, they will listen to each other. A lot of other cases, they are just "shooting the breeze" until the food comes. There are a few cases where a restaurant is the only place where family can get together and so they do their catching up at the table. My brother would not drive the 2 hours to visit with us after we moved to the St. Louis area from Columbia MO, so and after my mother fell in his yard and broke her shoulder I would not take her or my family there since he wouldn't make it safer for us. (His house is on a steep incline and there are no handrails at all.) To meet with him and be able to catch up, we would drive over to Columbia and meet at a restaurant just to visit and have dinner. It was the only way we could get him and my mother together before we moved to Florida and that dinner, neither his wife or children came at all. My mother didn't even get to see her grandkids before we left MO and she is very unhappy about that. We didn't get to have a decent conversation since it was a busy place and it was cafeteria style. (Golden Corral).

I know at social gatherings of clubs or groups, then there will be genuine conversation with listening and not just talking. I know I have been on all sides where I didn't really listen, or I was in a conversation where I didn't feel like the other person was really listening. I have been blessed with "lovey-dovey" type conversations with hubby before we married and after as well.

I hope this helps.
 
quirkylibra said:
I feel overstimulated with my HA's too. I take them out when I walk into my house most of the time. My brain needs the quiet. :)
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Ditto! I just got new hearing aids less than an year ago. I dont really wear them around the house much, only wear them when I should be wearing them, in public with friends, family, out to the doctors, etc etc. Unfortunately I cant wear them at work due to the high moisture in the air that can damage the computer chip inside the aids. But nothing's better then being able to say " AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... " in a sign of HUGE relief when taking out the hearing aids. Having to wear glasses AND hearing aids can make your head feel kinda... um... weighty? :)
 
Lighthouse77 said:
Just want to know what speaking and listening is like for hearing people. I never been hearing so I don't know what it is like. Is it easy? Hard? Do you struggle?
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In my experience, I'd say yes. I am hard of hearing, but my hearing loss is severe enough to be called " Deaf " by some. Ive worked in many public places, most notably places with machines, such as large kitchens. Sometimes people do have a hard time understanding me, it also depends on my focus on the topic at hand too. When im tired, i tend to " slurr " my words more often, etc etc. So often, people would say " Okay ", nod their heads, and all that, but I can tell with a glance they didnt understand a word I say. So I kind of inwardly roll my eyes up, and try to repeat myself.. other days I kinda just " Oh what the hell.. i give up ".

But I have to keep reminding myself that people DO have a hard time understanding, and not just my speech, but the whole being hard of hearing thing. Do I struggle? HECK YES!!! I struggle all the time. Thats another story for another day. But I do have to understand they are probably struggling to understand too. So I guess its a two way street.

Oftentimes, though, you will have just plain stupid people. Ever get the person who comes up to you and speaks to you in a VERRRRY LOUD VOICE, and then opens his MOUTH WIDE OPEN .. so wide that it looks like you are looking down the grand canyon??? So since I do read lips, it makes it well nigh impossible for me to even read his/her lips! :ugh3:
 
Lighthouse77 said:
Just want to know what speaking and listening is like for hearing people. I never been hearing so I don't know what it is like. Is it easy? Hard? Do you struggle?
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It's probably as easy as it is for you to understand when someone is signing. You look at them and know what is being said without having to think about it. Similarly with signing, you know what you want to say and your hands produce it without having to think about the process. However, it can be difficult in loud situations where external noise drowns out the person who is talking, which I suppose would be analogous to trying to communicate with sign in a setting with insufficient light.

So the short answer is that listening and speaking is generally effortless for the typical hearing person.
 
I grew up without sign languages. I do speak and hear with my hearing aids (now cochlear implant). I just don't know what it is like to have good hearing. I just only know what it is like to hear with my aids.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
I grew up without sign languages. I do speak and hear with my hearing aids (now cochlear implant). I just don't know what it is like to have good hearing. I just only know what it is like to hear with my aids.
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I see. In that case my answer was probably only partially helpful, so more specifically, except in extreme circumstances with a lot of environmental noise (either quantity or volume), typical hearing people do not have any trouble with speaking or listening.
 
I'm not sure if this is at all similar to the experience you are talking about, but in case it's helpful at all, I learned a little Japanese when I was in College, and now if I listen to something spoken in Japanese I find that although my ability to hear sounds isn't reduced, it is a lot more work for me to hear the sounds that make up their words (I don't know enough of the language to even try to listen to their meaning) because they are different than the sounds in English.

I don't know if I said that right, if the meaning got muddled up in the telling, feel free to let me know and I'll try explaining it better.
 
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