Is It Appropriate To .....

[Cheri]

what do you mean so?
that isnt nice.

Agreed with Liebling, So what, and your point is?

 

[Kuifje75]

Who brought this subject about Hawaii in first place to cause the "drama" here is the one who is not nice.

It doesn't take one person to make drama going. It takes two or more people, including you, and me.

 

[Mistyrose]

Why are you and Liebling attacking me???
Im just mereling answering CyberRed's post, period.
I didnt say anything out of line so what is your problem
with me?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Why are you and Liebling attacking me???
Im just mereling answering CyberRed's post, period.
I didnt say anything out of line so what is your problem
with me?

No, I'm not attack you but honest with you what I think of your post because you continue with your posts about Hawaii here which is not really necassary.

 

[Mistyrose]

No, I'm not attack you but honest with you what I think of your post because you continue with your posts about Hawaii here which is not really necassary.

Read Kuifje75's post! Im not the only one who create the "drama" you
talking about, there were several other people in here talking about
honeymoon and Hawaii stuff, so quit picking on me, please.

 

[Kuifje75]

Why are you and Liebling attacking me???
Im just mereling answering CyberRed's post, period.
I didnt say anything out of line so what is your problem
with me?

Me? I was replying to Leiblings post.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Unique Wedding Gift Ideas

Wedding lists are a great way of giving guidance to your guests and ensuring that you don’t end up with 4 toasters, 5 kettles and 3 boxes of wine glasses! However, the etiquette of gift lists is still one of the most hotly debated topics in wedding planning today. HoneyMoney Director, Marianne Rogerson, offers advice on setting up your wedding list and explores some of the options on the market today.

Traditional Gift List or Modern Alternatives?

Isn’t it rude? ...Many couples still feel awkward about setting up a wedding list, worrying that they will appear rude and greedy. Nowadays however, most people realise that the wedding list has become an accepted part of modern wedding etiquette and the majority of your guests will probably appreciate some guidance and be happy in the knowledge that they are buying you something that you actually want. Traditionally the mother of the bride held details of the gift list, but nowadays it has become more acceptable to include details with the invitations most gift list providers will supply notification cards or you could include the details on your information sheet. Even so, a little note to the effect that a gift is not expected and that your guests’ presence at the wedding is the most important thing, will be appreciated.

...guests will be happy knowing that they're buying something you actually want!..Mix and match... When putting together your list, try to include a wide price-range of gifts so that no matter how much or how little your guests want to spend, they can find something to buy you. Also try to include a range of items, from the very practical to more unusual or frivolous gifts perhaps that cocktail bar set you don’t actually need but would look great on your sideboard! Older relatives may like to buy more traditional gifts such as linen or cutlery but your younger, funkier friends will prefer to buy something a bit more creative and fun. Adding multiple small gifts allows people to mix and match, and you could also include additional vouchers in case gifts in a certain price range run out. Don’t worry about putting very expensive items on your list you will find that groups of friends may club together to buy something larger.

What are the alternatives?...

But what if you already have everything you need for your home? Well, you’re not alone! With more couples living together prior to marriage these days, many already have an established home and feel they don’t need a traditional wedding list. There are several options on the market. Perhaps your cupboards are already full of wine glasses and cutlery, but how is your garden looking? Setting up a gift list of plants and garden related items will make you the envy of all your friends for many barbecues to come! Or with a wine wedding list you can stock up your cellar and are guaranteed to impress any future dinner party guests. Or if you really have everything you need, there are a growing number of charities who will allow you to set up a list of donations.

HoneyMoney provides a wedding list where you divide up your honeymoon itinerary into affordable portions so that your friends and family can buy you anything from a night in a hotel or a romantic meal.


Why not try this? ...If you are one of a number of couples who are paying for your own wedding and find there is no money left for your honeymoon, how about a honeymoon wedding list? This means that not only do you avoid the awkward situation of asking people for money, but your guests feel that they are actually buying you a tangible gift and hopefully one that you will remember forever!


Contact Marianne at HoneyMoney

Wedding Ideas | Wedding Gifts | Weddings


I'm not surprise about this article because it's an exactly same as in Europe....

 

[Maria]

Yes, I see the problem is you brought the subject over "Hawaii" up to add this thread here to remind us about Angel's posts at other threads which is not really necassary after saw Angels' question toward me how to add the word on the invitation card without add "money" on invitation card. I gave her an example how to get guests' attention instead of add "collect money for a honeymoon" on the invitation card. To me, I would put something on the invitation card. Remember each person is different.

I responded about Hawaii to SOMEONE ELSE. Angel's question in this thread is for everyone for their opinions/point of views, not just for you only.

I see no problem for have you to agree with Reba because I know each person have their own POV. I beleive to fulfill Bride and Groom's wish instead of follow the "rules".

I'm surprised that you never heard that anyone ask for money. Oh yes, everyone in the world do like that. Oh yes, I answer money and explain why I want money instead of gift when the guests ask me for wedding list... or didn't see registry card in invitation card.

Everyone in the WORLD ? That's not true. NOT everyone in the WORLD would do like that. I disagree with you there about EVERYONE in the WORLD.

 

[Mistyrose]

Me? I was replying to Leiblings post.

OH,NO!! im sorry, I meant Cheri and Liebling!!
My apologies! i should have said their names.

 

[Cheri]

OH,NO!! im sorry, I meant Cheri and Liebling!!
My apologies! i should have said their names.

Some of you won't admit that some of you have a personal beef against Angel which It's obvious. I know you brought up Hawaii on purpose just to push buttons and it's so junior high. I could pull up so many posts just to show your beef with Angel, but, I don't have the time. It's important to drop the past and move on, don't hold a grudge, It isn't a place for it here at AD, Don't you agree?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Read Kuifje75's post! Im not the only one who create the "drama" you talking about, there were several other people in here talking about honeymoon and Hawaii stuff, so quit picking on me, please.

I'm afraid yes, you are the first person who mentioned "Hawaii" at your post #31 to get ADers' attention to cause "drama" here since Angel's question to me over honeymoon without mention a word "Hawaii". It's really not necassary to bring those word "Hawaii" up here.

http://www.alldeaf.com/737536-post31.html that's how to cause "drama" here.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I responded about Hawaii to SOMEONE ELSE. Angel's question in this thread is for everyone for their opinions/point of views, not just for you only.

I didn't see anything that Angel mentioned "Hawaii" in her thread here? Yes you response someone else because she got your attention. Sure, everyone know her dream wish in several threads. I can't see the sense why the people brought the subject "Hawaii" here to cause "drama", that's because we know Angel's dream wish in several threads. :roll:

Everyone in the WORLD ? That's not true. NOT everyone in the WORLD would do like that. I disagree with you there about EVERYONE in the WORLD.

Yes... I am traveller and collect a lot of experiences from different cultures.

I doesn't mean allpeople in the world but everyone (I should say "most").

Have you read the link, I provided about wedding in my previous post?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Wedding Etiquette—Wedding Gift Tips

How soon should I send a gift?
Preferably, send the gift to the bride before the wedding or to the couple soon thereafter. In some regions gifts are brought to the reception and placed on a special table. Contrary to a current rumor that you have a year to send a gift, it really should be sent right away or within three months of the wedding.

Do I have to choose a gift from a registry?
No. A registry is for your convenience and you are not limited to what is on the list.

How much should I spend?
There is no rule, so it is entirely up to you. Let your affection for the bride and groom and your budget be your guide.

Is it appropriate to give money?
In some cultures it is THE traditional gift. If you are uncomfortable about giving cash or a check, you have several options. You can give a gift certificate to a store where the bride and groom are registered.

What do I do if I haven't received a thank you note?
Ouch!! This is an awkward situation. It is certainly OK to call and ask the couple if they received the gift. If you find this too awkward and the gift was sent from a store, you can call the store and have it traced. Just as a gift should be sent right away or within three months of a wedding, a thank you note should be written right away or, at the very least, within three months of receiving a gift.

Emily Post—Wedding Gift Tips

 

[Maria]

Lieblin' ~

Well, I don't see " drama " about bringin' up Hawaii. It's just that some ADers aren't that stupid enough to know what the money is for when it comes to the invitation cards issue.... AND, even thou Angel didn't mention about it in this thread. I am one of them to know what it is for and I am NOT the only one to know about it.

No, I read Reba's links. Hers are much more sense to me. And, I happen agreed with her.

 

[Reba]

Ugh? your post sound that you beleive to attend any special occassion gratis to greed foods and drink gratis on bride and groom's expense because any material are not important? You beleive that bride and groom play for their guests... I consider it's very, very, very rude and bad manner.

I guess our definition of "guest" is different. When a host invites a guest, yes, the host provides everything without expectation of renumeration. That's what it means to invite someone to a social event.

If you notice the wording on an invitation, it usually states, "So-and-So request the honor of your presence at . . . " That means, the hosts consider it an honor for you, the guest, to show up in person. Period.

If the host expects payment in exchange for food, drink, and entertainment, then they should sell tickets and call the attendees "customers" instead of "guests".

If the host can't afford a fancy banquet, then the host should scale down plans to fit his/her budget. That's much better than expecting the "guests" to subsidize the plans.

Of course, most wedding guests want to give presents to the bride and groom. But that's voluntary, not required, not an exchange for food and drink. Or is there someone at the wedding keeping a tally of gift values for each guest to judge how much they're allowed to eat? Or do guests call up the bride ahead of time, and ask how much the food costs so they can buy a gift that matches the cost? Of course, not!

I would rather to marry in register office or oversea than let guests to greed foods and drink on my expenses for gratis and plus play for guests.

If that's all you can afford, that's fine. Nothing wrong with that.

... I beleive that guests show their respect and honor bride and groom's wish because wedding is only once in forever... I feel sorry for Bride and Groom.

Why do you feel sorry for them? The bride and groom's wish is for their guests to attend the wedding. If the guests attend the wedding, then the bride and groom's wish has been fulfilled. No problem. I would feel sorry for the bride and groom if none of their guests showed up. That would be sad.

... I ask automatic what they want for their wedding.

Good, that's the right way. No problem.

Yes, thank you for correct my spelling...

I wasn't trying to correct you but when I looked up "vatrine" the search engine corrected the word for me. :P I wasn't familiar with that word before.

 

[Kuifje75]

I guess our definition of "guest" is different. When a host invites a guest, yes, the host provides everything without expectation of renumeration. That's what it means to invite someone to a social event.

If you notice the wording on an invitation, it usually states, "So-and-So request the honor of your presence at . . . " That means, the hosts consider it an honor for you, the guest, to show up in person. Period.

If the host expects payment in exchange for food, drink, and entertainment, then they should sell tickets and call the attendees "customers" instead of "guests".

If the host can't afford a fancy banquet, then the host should scale down plans to fit his/her budget. That's much better than expecting the "guests" to subsidize the plans.

Of course, most wedding guests want to give presents to the bride and groom. But that's voluntary, not required, not an exchange for food and drink. Or is there someone at the wedding keeping a tally of gift values for each guest to judge how much they're allowed to eat? Or do guests call up the bride ahead of time, and ask how much the food costs so they can buy a gift that matches the cost? Of course, not!

Bingo... well said.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Lieblin' ~

Well, I don't see " drama " about bringin' up Hawaii. It's just that some ADers aren't that stupid enough to know what the money is for when it comes to the invitation cards issue.... AND, even thou Angel didn't mention about it in this thread. I am one of them to know what it is for and I am NOT the only one to know about it.

No, I read Reba's links. Hers are much more sense to me. And, I happen agreed with her.

*sigh*

Yes it's not just you but me and others know Angel's dream wish. Yes we know her dream wish for years. I see no problem to fulfill her wish. I will be happy to know that her dream wish is fulfill at last after years....

This link, I provide is the same as in Europe. I do not agree with Reba's link because I beleive to fulfill Bride and Groom's wish and honor their special day.

 

[Reba]

For your information, I work together with Americans everyday for over 21 years.

A lot of Americans copy European custom because they are open mind to see sense what right or wrong.

I thought different countries' customs weren't judged "right" or "wrong" but different. Many Americans living in Europe follow the "when in Rome do as the Romans do" philosophy. That doesn't mean they will do the same things when they come back to America, or get stationed next in Japan.

I see myself in this thread here that I'm not alone who consider bad manner and rude to attend special occassion without something in their hands.

Here is the difference:

A guest going to a dinner party at a home in America wants to bring something but can't afford it, or maybe was taking care of a family emergency and didn't have time to go to the store. Does the American host want that guest to stay home? No. The American host wants the guest to show up no matter what because the enjoyment of that person's company is most important. The American host doesn't focus on the guest's "hands". The American host has the dinner prepared and the table set, so the host expects everyone to show up. The host graciously smiles and tells the guest, "I'm so glad that you came." The guest is sorry that he/she didn't bring something but the guest knows that next month he/she will invite tonight's host to dinner at his/her house, so the social obligation is fulfilled.

In America, when a guest shows up empty handed, the host ignores that, and just continues on with a pleasant dinner and visit. That's good manners.

In America, the guest tries to bring something but if he/she can't then he/she makes up for it by inviting the host to his/her house at a later date.

Either way, the host doesn't expect a gift or return invitation as prerequisite to entertaining guests.

It is the responsibility of the host/hostess to make the guest feel comfortable. It's not the responsibility of the guest to subsidize the expenses. It's the responsibility of the guest to have a good time.

The best "gift" an American guest can give an American host is a big smile and sincere thank you at the end of the visit, saying "I had a wonderful time; the food was delicious, and the table was beautiful; but most of all, I really enjoyed our time together."

After all, "time together" is the main point of socializing, right?

 

[GalaxyAngel]

OMG!
What happened everyone are still debate and disagree each others long run flipping each the pages continues.. Wha....a joke!

YOU HAVE TO RESPECT THEIR OWN TASTE.. WHY YOU KEEP criticizing AND POINT FINGER..

I cannot believe my own eyes read whole flipping the pages.. My gosh!

Rest of you some members who still ongoing disagree their own WAY AND TASTE PREFERENCES issued the guest and inviting.

Whoever prefer stay keep guest may continue bring pleasure gifts... you're stayed old fashioned way... That your own choice.. I'm not here criticizing you.. as long you're happy.. Stay stick w/it yourself...

Whoever other members prefer bring money attach into the envople.. That's fine w/me as long you're happy with it.. Why other members are disagree w/this.. Wha.. heck where your frigg'n respect their own TASTE!!


Cultures vs Weird Cultures aren't same issue the invitations without guest or with guest... So unique beautiful their own taste wedding... BUT... you still push their mouth shut and continue criticizing their full mouth shut! I do not approve what you've done...

Please take full bottle of chill pill and swallowed it!

**ahem**


What Wedding?

 

[Kuifje75]

Here is the difference:

A guest going to a dinner party at a home in America wants to bring something but can't afford it, or maybe was taking care of a family emergency and didn't have time to go to the store. Does the American host want that guest to stay home? No. The American host wants the guest to show up no matter what because the enjoyment of that person's company is most important. The American host doesn't focus on the guest's "hands". The American host has the dinner prepared and the table set, so the host expects everyone to show up. The host graciously smiles and tells the guest, "I'm so glad that you came." The guest is sorry that he/she didn't bring something but the guest knows that next month he/she will invite tonight's host to dinner at his/her house, so the social obligation is fulfilled.

In America, when a guest shows up empty handed, the host ignores that, and just continues on with a pleasant dinner and visit. That's good manners.

In America, the guest tries to bring something but if he/she can't then he/she makes up for it by inviting the host to his/her house at a later date.

Either way, the host doesn't expect a gift or return invitation as prerequisite to entertaining guests.

It is the responsibility of the host/hostess to make the guest feel comfortable. It's not the responsibility of the guest to subsidize the expenses. It's the responsibility of the guest to have a good time.

The best "gift" an American guest can give an American host is a big smile and sincere thank you at the end of the visit, saying "I had a wonderful time; the food was delicious, and the table was beautiful; but most of all, I really enjoyed our time together."

After all, "time together" is the main point of socializing, right?

Yes that is why I still invite people over to my home for get-togethers even though they don't bring anything, because I enjoy their companionship and I enjoy having them try the food I made, playing games and telling stories. I don't care about the ideas that people have to bring something.