Invited guests that turned out to be from hell

[CoolieFroggie]

this topic of discussion came while i was with a group
of friends -- how would a host/hostess be cordial to
the "guest from hell" if the guest seems to be the
type that doesnt clean up after themselves, be polite
using "thank u" or other appreciative words or whatever else

i once had a guest from years back who seemed to think
that he/she could just leave their trash everywhere
and expected me to pick up after them, demanding this
and that and not overall appreciative of the hostess
who was kind enuf to invite them into their home --
with that type of guest, i know i would never want to
invite them back to my home if i had that sort of behavior from them.

some possible examples of "guests from hell" that
might be more common than most people might think:

use of computer without permission
not cleaning up after themselves
breaking items and not apologizing and/or hiding that fact not making the bed
smoking indoors when they have been asked to smoke outdoors

and more im sure some of u posters would bring up from
ur past experiences -- this discussion is stories of
any experiences u might have and/or how u have dealt with the "guest from hell"

 

[VamPyroX]

My best suggestion is to be blunt. Express your concerns. If that person won't respect your wishes, then kick that person out. It's your house. They should know to respect your house.

If you know that a guest-to-be won't respect you, then don't bother inviting that person. It's like having a roommate. If you know that person is horrible, don't bother having that person as a roommate.

 

[VamPyroX]

MOD NOTE:

Please respect this thread. If you have any concerns or questions regarding this thread, PM me. Thank you.

 

[JeepGirl]

I have no RESPECT for this thread.. sorry...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I have no RESPECT for this thread.. sorry...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Good Vent

The guest what you described is not your real friend. I´m sorry you had been through like this. It´s sad that he/she didnt know how treat hostess in manner way. Like what Vampy said is correct. Don´t welcome them in the future unless they respect you.

If you want to have people to be your guest then arrange with them what they can help you, not smoke in the house, no computer etc etc etc before have them as your guest.

I often deal with my friends before stay their or my houses what we can or not... etc.

and more im sure some of u posters would bring up from
ur past experiences -- this discussion is stories of
any experiences u might have and/or how u have dealt with the "guest from hell"

I remember when I used to live an apartment in England. Some of British people show no respect when I told them to not smoke in my place. They ignored me and lit their cigarettes. I told them to not do that but go to terrace to have their smoking. Of course my Dad & his 2nd wife are one of people who disrespect me. I remember my Dad´s word - "You can´t stop me to smoke because it´s my business". I was like and ask them calmly: "Who belongs to this apartment?". It got him mad and went off with his 2nd wife. I said simple: "Bye".

I married and move to live in Germany in 1985 and surprised to know that Germans show their manner & respect to every houseowners. I lived in Germany for 20 years with no problems... Of course they slept my place alot for the weekends with no problem... They support me with foods or give me gifts to thank me for offer them to stay with us for the weekends, also sometimes thank us for our good host/hostess and give children gifts or money. They took us to resturant etc.... I tried to remember what I heard from unmanner people in Germany but nope..... I would add my post if I has bad experience with Germans... Nope.

One thing I´m surprised that my British friends who visited to see us for holiday to see my first newborn baby in 1993. They respect me for not smoke in my house. They smoke outside with no complication which it´s great... wow (because I told them to not smoke in my house before they came to visit us for 2 weeks holiday). They respect me with lovely gifts for newborn baby, etc and then again invited us to resturant to thank us for good hostess for 2 weeks. :jaw:

We often do that when we stay at friends´s house for weeks... Take them to resturant to thank them for their good hostess... It´s manner way to give the hostess the gift to thank them for offer you to stay their place for the weekends or holiday, also give them the gift or take them to resturant or coffee house to thank them for good hostess during weekends/weeks. We often do that.

I tried to picture to myself how could I deal with unmanner & rude guests. Simple is explain them in friendly way to support me bit... If they doesnt bother to listen then act bad hostess - Go to resturant instead of cook in my house or doesnt bother to show them around until they notice how bad hostess I am. If I want to be good hostess - I would treat guests in the resturant if I has no time to cook in the house & take them out & show them around.

My Dad gave up smoking in 1992. We visited to see him in England for summer holiday 2000. I was surprised when Dad told my hubby to not smoke in his apartment. My hubby told him that he never smoke indoor but outdoor. (he gave smoke up in April 2004). Dad looked at me and remember about the past and aplogy to me... I told him to not worry about the past... Let its forget.

 

[JeepGirl]

Don't worry.. I had my reasons.. but you can speak whatever you'd like.. lol..

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Don't worry.. I had my reasons.. but you can speak whatever you'd like.. lol..

Okay, I understand. It look like I miss something here since I notice Vampy´s Note.

No problem, I understand.

 

[eternity]

I have no RESPECT for this thread.. sorry...

Uh you made no sense.. did you even have a point?

 

[javapride]

I had a guest from hell when i was living in ca, i invited my ex to come and visit plus she had some stuff she was holding for me per my request and she wanted to return them which was no problem whatsoever.. SO whilist she and het gf ( eh the particular one that i know of ) anyway they spent the weekend over @ my Duplex for a relaxing time well that didnt' start off well...

they trashed the place didn't make thier bed thier clothes was in the bathroom like they owned this place and im like eh??
i asked them to pick up thier clothes from the bathroom since i didnt want to drip water all over thier clothes by accident and they said fine no plm and i asked them while i was in the shower would they mind washing thier dishes and get that out of the way so i can vaccum before going off to my weekly meetings they didn't do that i was peeved so they left and i spent 3 hrs of cleaning the house and e mailing them if they intend to come over to spend the weekend then they have to also be held resposible for thier cleaning up and they repeated the same BS and fought all the time the last blow out was when they move up here next door to me and im like iknow they were following me and keeping an eye on me and im like im not a child! but they refused to do anything! they were messy had SO many dogs in thehouse and the house reeked of piss and etc. so that was the end of it ..... to make it short they were no longer allowed near me or anywhere near my home after they got evicted. THEN i went ahead and moved in a newer place alot more private there. then after moving out and going elsewhere... i returned home and since then no BS i always cleaned up at guests home when im staying over night for a long duration of the time i clean the house clean the kitchen and made sure nothing looked out of the ordinary and they let us use thier laptops for chat time so that helped and got things done when needed. it was good for me. and when i moved back east i took on the duty of the bathroom and cleaned the bathroom when it was needed. then when i moved over to my real dad's home i kept thier area clean and walkd the horses so it was pretty good experince for me
when anyone stayed here in hawaii at my home they know the rules house must be clean, the noise kept to a minium after 9 pm and the lights must be off when its bed time. and clean thier own mess int he bathroom...

so its all abt learning how to respect poeple.. unlike some people i have heard about and am appaled abt this but i know which is right and i just finished deep cleaning my bedroom for the fall clean up before x mas!

 

[Liza]

It is important to set boundaries with houseguests before they come over... you have to tell 'em. It also takes a considerate houseguest to anticipate boundaries at your house.

 

[kuifje75]

I am shocked at this thread. The expectations people have from their guests?!

When I was growing up, I always learned to be a hospitable host. If a guest did not make his bed, why make a big deal out of it? You can do it yourself. After all, it is your own house. As for washing dishes, I never make my guests wash dishes!!! You can ask Cookie Monster; she insisted that she do them but I refused her offer. I always thought it was about letting the guest sit back and relax, whilst visiting me. Same goes for my own family. I cook and clean up after them. And vice versa when I visit them.

I suppose it does help to have two bathrooms; bathroom for me and my bf and another bathroom for the guest and rest of house.

If you are gonna be anal retentive and controlling about how guest keep their areas clean, then perhaps you had better not invite them in the first place.

I think it is sad if a host has expectations of guest helping out. If that is the case, then I agree with Liza: talk about it beforehand and set up boundaries. People are all different, and I might be a wonderful guest for someone, but a horrible guest for the next person. I can't always know the expectations of my hosts.

 

[Cheri]

Guests from hell?


When I have a birthday party for my boys at my house, We invited all the cousins (my nephews and nieces) even my brother and sister, They played in the boys room and their room always looks like a tornado went through it. Did I mind? Nah, They were having a great time is what matters the most.

Sometimes one of my family members asked me for help around the kitchen, I don't mind if they do help me or not. I want them to enjoy the party while I cleaned up the kitchen and put away the foods.

I know I always pitch in when I'm at someone's house I always show my respect, that's just who I am. But, if their house already been messy by the time I arrived, Why would I help them clean up?

My family and my friend had used my computer, (without my permission) I don't even mind at all, It never bothers me.

My son's friend comes over the house every day after school, Sometimes he would stay for dinner. I treat him like I would treat my other guests as in taken good care of. I want those guests know that I'm a good hostress, and I do care about each one of them enough to take care of them, and make them feel welcome.

 

[CODAchild]

Guests from hell?


When I have a birthday party for my boys at my house, We invited all the cousins (my nephews and nieces) even my brother and sister, They played in the boys room and their room always looks like a tornado went through it. Did I mind? Nah, They were having a great time is what matters the most.

Sometimes one of my family members asked me for help around the kitchen, I don't mind if they do help me or not. I want them to enjoy the party while I cleaned up the kitchen and put away the foods.

I know I always pitch in when I'm at someone's house I always show my respect, that's just who I am. But, if their house already been messy by the time I arrived, Why would I help them clean up?

My family and my friend had used my computer, (without my permission) I don't even mind at all, It never bothers me.

My son's friend comes over the house every day after school, Sometimes he would stay for dinner. I treat him like I would treat my other guests as in taken good care of. I want those guests know that I'm a good hostress, and I do care about each one of them enough to take care of them, and make them feel welcome.

I liked what you said Cheri, we should all make our guests feel welcomed, and if they volunteer to help, that is great, if they don't, then that's fine too. Because you want them to come back into your home again knowing they will feel just as welcomed as they did the time before.
Boundaries are important too. If there is something that your guests did that you don't like, gently remind them, in a nice way, so your guest would be agreeable not to do it again. Sometimes we have to be a little more patient with people when they come to visit our home.

 

[SherryCherish]

I had experienced with bad guests before. Which i'm not very appreciate w/ it at all. I have no respect or trust in them after since. That changed our friendship becuz of that.

First, 2 ladies need place to stay for few nights. I knew them since childhood. I had to go trainning school and job that day. My goood friend wanted visited me and stay my place, beside had other guests. I had fun w/ him. After job, i came home and my apt was destory, i meant destroy. all stuff all over on the floor and some damages. I was like wtf! 2 ladies was look furious and yelled at me, and think i stole one of their money which is over 100 dollars. I was like I don't see any money, and if i do, i don't attempt to steal it anyway. I told them, u have no rights to destroy my house becuz of money missed? Later they found it in their pocket (small one), they not even apology to me and my roommate and LEFT! Later they came back, i told them ur not welcome here anymore!

Second, a couple always visited my house, always walk in and not even ask us to steal our foods and drinks, we had 48 pops in ref, and after end of day, only 8 pop cans left. And, they has no respects to smoke inside of house, which told them no smoke allowed. (that time i'm smoker) but only smoke outside or garage. It pissed me off.

I'm sorry you all have bad experience of guests or roommates. I been through same thing. We don't derserve it either. I do let my friends/family as welcome my house as long they respects my home. Even they do not ask me for foods, or help cleaning, which i don't mind at all. Or computer, which i don't mind, as long i see no respectful or rude.

 

[CoolieFroggie]

Good posting few of you.... Good some tips.... What if you are dealing with your own good friend and u don't want to hurt her/his feelings. how you guys deal with it?


Let me tell mine...
I had a ex-roommate when we are aware with food shopping that would alway limit with the freezer size, the person respect about the freeze limitions. my ex boyfriend and i were doing some cleaning the kitchen and i had a notice a bug coming around.. my ex boyfriend and i really struggle to find where bug come from till we found it.. oh my god.. i can't believe this gross.. my ex roommate left a bananas top of cabinets and it's look rotten for like 3 or 4 months and bugs go crazy over those rotten banana i was oh my god.. I beg my ex boyfriend to take it out from this place!

Same with dishes, when i was washing the dishes and i notice the cups were missing and i look everywhere but i didn't go to my roommate's room.. so i talked with my ex boyfriend guess what.. we only have 4 cups so where is rest of the cups left? and i look everywhere? so he said.. umm maybe in roommates's room i was like no no don't tell me.. so i decide to come in and i was like OH MY GOD.. it's everywhere bowls, cups and food.. i was so pissed off and i decide to pick everything up from his room and wash it all.. so i waited my ex roommate come home.. and we had a talk with him and explain that he can't leave this like that or we will have a bugs visting here. he make up with his excuses. i just let him talk and let him learn something in the future, kamra will bite him whatever in his another newbies roommmate or whoever decide to have him as roommate and for me.. i wouldn't never let him to be my roommate ever again!

 

[Cheri]

I liked what you said Cheri, we should all make our guests feel welcomed, and if they volunteer to help, that is great, if they don't, then that's fine too. Because you want them to come back into your home again knowing they will feel just as welcomed as they did the time before.
Boundaries are important too. If there is something that your guests did that you don't like, gently remind them, in a nice way, so your guest would be agreeable not to do it again. Sometimes we have to be a little more patient with people when they come to visit our home.

I also liked what you said too CODAchild, being more patient with guests when they come over and visit, Sometimes they forget their manners, how to clean up after themselves, how they didn't "thanked-you" for taking good care of them. But, I am sure they appreciated it so much with all their heart, without using words to express their feelings. If anyone didn't like how the guests are at their home, It's important to be nice, because if a guest sees you throwing temper tantrum, then that guest won't come to your home anymore. You would want them to say good things about you and your home, how you treat them, how you took care of them, and how you show your love.

 

[GalaxyAngel]

*remind me long haul years back* 1992's (my older son's Dad)
My ex bf invited his friend come over my place and staying for 2 wks but turn out a month.. Made me piss'n off. Rest of men are flithy and parties parties.. I told them, please respect my child's health and want use space spot where he can play his toys. Both men are not respect me at all... Made me nerve and feel alike crawl up the wall.

I spoke w/my landlord and any suggest ideas feedback... Went well supportive. I got eviction (pretend paper) and shown to two men.. My face acting up angrily front of two men, "thank you very much and ruinned my life"

Two men were took seriouis my word and paper written by landlord.. Finally, Both men are moved out and found their own place to live... I was so hell happy and got little move another side of apartment. They didn't know where am I living wherebouts. (chuckles)
Until found mr right guy become part of my life.. All together moved and settled a rent house. My man is very good respect and willing clean house chores share ourselves. *Glad that no longer hell guest*

Espically, My children' friends come over my place for overnight or two nights.. I begged my children, please please respect my house rules as long kept clean as well. Their own bedroom ain't my problem their own problem! My children' friends (as condiser guest but not HELL.. LOL

 

[Cookie Monster]

I am shocked at this thread. The expectations people have from their guests?!

When I was growing up, I always learned to be a hospitable host. If a guest did not make his bed, why make a big deal out of it? You can do it yourself. After all, it is your own house. As for washing dishes, I never make my guests wash dishes!!! You can ask Cookie Monster; she insisted that she do them but I refused her offer. I always thought it was about letting the guest sit back and relax, whilst visiting me. Same goes for my own family. I cook and clean up after them. And vice versa when I visit them.

I suppose it does help to have two bathrooms; bathroom for me and my bf and another bathroom for the guest and rest of house.

If you are gonna be anal retentive and controlling about how guest keep their areas clean, then perhaps you had better not invite them in the first place.

I think it is sad if a host has expectations of guest helping out. If that is the case, then I agree with Liza: talk about it beforehand and set up boundaries. People are all different, and I might be a wonderful guest for someone, but a horrible guest for the next person. I can't always know the expectations of my hosts.

No offense to you CoolieFroggie but this thread is tacky. The fault lies within both of the guilty parties when open communication isn't set up about how one party wishes his/her house to be treated and the other party doesn't respect the host/hostess' domain.

It all boils down to having common sense and KootchieBootchie is so correct in what he posted. Whenever we visited each other, I wanted to do dishes or other errands around the house, he refused and made sure I relaxed. Vice versa for KootchieBootchie when he visited me and my parents made sure I knew my proper manners to make the bed, clean up after myself and send a thank you card & pay dinner for my hosts.

 

[VamPyroX]

Good posting few of you.... Good some tips.... What if you are dealing with your own good friend and u don't want to hurt her/his feelings. how you guys deal with it?


Let me tell mine...
I had a ex-roommate when we are aware with food shopping that would alway limit with the freezer size, the person respect about the freeze limitions. my ex boyfriend and i were doing some cleaning the kitchen and i had a notice a bug coming around.. my ex boyfriend and i really struggle to find where bug come from till we found it.. oh my god.. i can't believe this gross.. my ex roommate left a bananas top of cabinets and it's look rotten for like 3 or 4 months and bugs go crazy over those rotten banana i was oh my god.. I beg my ex boyfriend to take it out from this place!

Same with dishes, when i was washing the dishes and i notice the cups were missing and i look everywhere but i didn't go to my roommate's room.. so i talked with my ex boyfriend guess what.. we only have 4 cups so where is rest of the cups left? and i look everywhere? so he said.. umm maybe in roommates's room i was like no no don't tell me.. so i decide to come in and i was like OH MY GOD.. it's everywhere bowls, cups and food.. i was so pissed off and i decide to pick everything up from his room and wash it all.. so i waited my ex roommate come home.. and we had a talk with him and explain that he can't leave this like that or we will have a bugs visting here. he make up with his excuses. i just let him talk and let him learn something in the future, kamra will bite him whatever in his another newbies roommmate or whoever decide to have him as roommate and for me.. i wouldn't never let him to be my roommate ever again!

Bananas!? Damn! My friends had that exact same problem. One day, they noticed a smell and thought something was dirty. They saw a sticky spot on the counter and cleaned it up. It still smelled. So, they bought a stronger brand of counter spray and sprayed everything as they wiped it up. It still smelled. They also noticed that more and more flies were starting to appear. Yet, they couldn't find the source of the flies or smell. A week later, they started moving things around on top of their refrigerator. Guess what? In the back, was a basket of decaying, smelly, moldy, and rotting bananas! O... M... G... ! It looked like something out of a horror movie! They yelled around for the culprit, and one roommate came forward... "Oh, so that's where I put my bananas a few months ago!"