I'm Sorry

I agree with you, VamPyroX! That is a good idea and call the guy's bluff. My mother is the same way, since she had a heart attack in January 2006. She knows I refuse to scream for her to hear me when she refuses to wear the headset I bought her to wear. I'm deaf, too, and because of what she's doing and acting like this (she's 80 years old), I'm back on a tranquilizer.

Would writing on a dry erase board help you get off the tranquilizer?
 
Thanks, Buff, you reply was a goodie.

. . . from my point of view if they spoke properly, enunciated their words clearly in the first place there would be no problem for anyone.

I'm with you, Raykat. People who go right on talking while chewing, speaking with a cigarette between their lips, or rapidly talking over someone else are discourteous to everyone, not just the deaf. People who don't enunciate forget that they speak to communicate to others, not just to hear their own vocal cords vibrate.

I know this is a bit off topic, but I feel the same way about writing to others.

4 y dew sum think its sew kewl 2 rite like ya no there on a hi
 
Would writing on a dry erase board help you get off the tranquilizer?

My, my! Aren't we a smart aleck now, huh? :whistle: :giggle: I know what you mean, Buffalo. Helping my parents move, my oldest brother was going to get her checked out from the nursing home before we started (that's before I started my medication again), so I thought that if he did that, I'd go up to the corner gas station and buy a pack of cigarettes just to keep me calm. :roll: Even though we're close, just like everyone else, my mother does drive me crazy at times and that day would have been one of them. My brother almost gets me there occasionally, but the two of them would have succeeded at getting me checked into the nut house that night! On a serious note, we all do get along, but when moving my parents into assisted living, my brother likes to "take charge" and drive everyone insane, or at least, get most of us half way there! :run:
 
hmmmm, hearing people gotta realise , its not only hard for them to make clear for lipreading, lipreading is damn difficult! only need to go to Omar Zak's websites and i reckon all hearing gits should read that website over and over just to get the gist of what we go through, their ignorance to me , is criminal.
 
While growing up I was always given an attitude and mocked all the time for not hearing. One of my Brother's used imitate me saying "what" in loud mocking and condescending tone for extra good measure to make sure I heard him that time right along with everyone else who could hear. He always made sure I saw the face he was making so I would know what he was doing in case he wasn't loud enough.

Finally one day, when I got a little older, I came flat out and told him he's an idiot. I told him if he spoke clearly and at an even loud enough tone I would not have any problems hearing or understanding his words. Then gave an insult back and said everyone says you are the smart one, well now I can see that's not true. It took time but he finally changed his attitude a little.

I tried for years to cover up and hide my hearing loss/problems. It's also hindered me from being social. I got to where I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stand it when people gave me annoyed attitude and face like I put them all out of their way having to repeat it.

Ok getting off track here but long story short, yeah too late for that LOL, but really I apologized for years and finally realized it stemmed from my experience with my Brother. Knowing that helped me to finally stop apologizing for not hearing. Ito took a while to stop though. I got to where I would only apologize when they had to repeat more than one time. Now I don't apologize unless I don't hear due to my not paying attention but that's just polite.

I finally got a hearing aid which does help but also doesn't. That 's another story. When we apologize for not hearing we are indirectly setting ourselves up for taking blame where blame doesn't belong to us. It's not our fault we can't hear or have trouble hearing. Also when a person tells us the wrong information they don't admit it nooo they just blame us, the apologetic, saying we didn't hear them right or misunderstood them.
 
I too, got into the habit of prefacing everything with "I'm sorry, I have a progressive hearing loss..." I felt like I was explaining myself all the time!

After a while, I decided to say, "Do me a favor, face me when you talk, I need your lips!" Believe me, that gets their attention! If someone is talking too fast, I say, "Time out!" (while making the universal sign) and say, "I don't want to miss anything you're saying..." It tells the other person I am engaged and I value the words coming out of their mouth.

As my loss progressed, communication became increasingly difficult for all parties involved. I try to gauge the other person to see if I should just cut to the chase and ask them to write stuff down or use pidgin-sign. I'm still working on my ASL skills.

As most already know, communication needs depend on the environment. Ours is a world of never-ending adjustments and second-guessing...doesn't mean we have to apologize. We must educate others. And, if we have any strength left over, we remind ourselves why we make the effort to engage our world.

Just wish I wasn't so tired...

p.:hmm:
 
It seems to me that part of being deaf are the interactions with hearing people. Depending on the communication skills of both sides there are going to be times where you are going to have to say "I'm sorry but I didn't get that" etc etc. The fact that you are saying I'm sorry is, to me, just being polite. My hearing is not what it use to be and I am constantly telling people I didn't hear you or I didn't get that.
 
I've always taken "I'm sorry" not to mean I'm sorry for my hearing difficulties but that I am sorry for interrupting the person speaking.

Sometimes I say "I'm sorry, I cannot hear you" but I don't mean it apologetically so much as I mean it out of politeness because most of the time I'm interrupting the person. It's just another way of saying "excuse me" or "pardon me" to soften the interruption.
 
:twisted::ugh2: That would drive me mad. I used to lose screws out of my head growing up when that happened to me. Grrrrrrr.
 
Well I think people misunderstand what it means when we say "I'm sorry I'm deaf". It's not really that we are apologizing that we're deaf. It's more just courtesy. Even hearing people say it. When they mishear something they'll often say, "I'm sorry what was that?" or "Ber your pardon?"

That's how it is for me anyway. There are times that we have to acknowledge the fact that we're deaf so our different methods of communication is known to the person who is talking to us. If they don't know this then our lack or response or wrong response can be misinterpreted as negligence or arrogance.

Ron Jaxon
 
I lost my hearing about 4 years ago and am tryin very hard to learn to lip read...with some success. What I find just as difficult as the person speaking to fast is when you find someone who normally talks with whole lot of head movement! I don't appologize...I tend to use the words 'excuse me but I'm deaf. Please look at me when you speak, speak slowly and please dont shake your head when you speak!' Heehe I also find saying it with a big smile helps put them at ease and they are more likely to cooperatve I don't know..I just dont' think there is anything to appologize for!
 
This thread makes me feel almost obnoxious.

I don't apoligize for being Deaf. I just say, "I'm Deaf". In stores and places like that, I just walk up to the salesperson and say, " HI, I'm deaf !", While handing them my trusty notebook and pen and then say, "Please write things down". Then I ask for whatever I need.

Most often they are just too shocked to think about it.

I coldn't even bring myself to wear the "Sorry, I'm Deaf" tag on second life. So I wander around with a homemade tag that says " Crazy Deaf Cherokee".

I guess I'm just an old meanie. Because I tease people all the time saying, "My being Deaf, that's not a problem, YOUR not knowing how to sign.. THAT'S a problem"

:)
 
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The hearing people should be the ones saying "I am sorry" for talking too fast after they have been told that u are deaf and rely on lip reading. It is usually us, deaf or hoh people, that have to accodomate to meet the communication needs of hearing people. It wouldnt hurt them to do some accodomations to meet our communication needs as well.

i'm hearing and i agree completely. if someone doesn't try to meet your communication needs, then they are not worth communicating with.
 
i'm hearing and i agree completely. if someone doesn't try to meet your communication needs, then they are not worth communicating with.

Sometimes you have to communicate with them. It isn't just a social thing.
 
Sometimes you have to communicate with them. It isn't just a social thing.


that's true, and thank you for pointing that out to me. the only thing i can suggest is to try and find someone else who is willing to make the effort to communicate with you in a situation where you have to interact.

i promise, not all hearing people are jerks :)
 
that's true, and thank you for pointing that out to me. the only thing i can suggest is to try and find someone else who is willing to make the effort to communicate with you in a situation where you have to interact.

i promise, not all hearing people are jerks :)

No not all of them are. I used to be hearing (somewhat) but am now deaf, I have been on both sides of the coin and am finding that even with all the advances that have been made, hearing people are still clueless about dealing with a deaf or hoh person.
 
There are times that I say that I`am sorry because I feel like it`s just something that I need to say to the "hearing" because they have to go to all the trouble to talk to me.

When I have trouble hearing or understand come on the phone and that person get upset about having to repeat themself, I tell them I am the one that HOH and I have to deal with this all the time ,that it is not easy for me!
Most of the time this made the person think about getting up set with me!
I also say , I am sorry once in awhile when I talking to a friend or my daugther. I do hate when I can't understand a work that being said and the person will start yelling that word to me! I have to tell them to stop yelling and to try and use another word as I can't not understand the word . and spelling it does not help as I trouble hearing sounde over the phone . If a person said does not want to take the time to slow and repeat themself while talking to you , you're not missing very much! Good Riddance to them!
 
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