I have a real bad habit.This has been going on for years.Well every time I have to talk to someone I always have to say I`am sorry I can`t hear you and or say I can`t understand you..The reason that I have to talk about this is because I got call out on this.people tell me that I should not have to say that I`am sorry.I hope some of you guys would help me out with this should I stop saying it to everyone I meet or just get a t-shirt saying Don`t talk to me and Leave me alone...Or get shirts made saying I`am sorry I CAN`T HEAR,YOU, UNDERSTAND YOU ,CAN`T READ YOUR LIPS.(this for the ones that talk way to fast. I can read lips)?
I'm Sorry
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pek1
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Jan,
I know and understand your frustrations. These are the same kind of people that would say to you if asked to repeat, "Oh, never mind." Never mind is right, so with that, this is what I suggest you do. If people are rude enough not to slow down and repeat what they say, it must not be important. It also shows what kind of people they are if they're like this. When they're old and decrippet, they'll remember how many times they were rude and wouldn't repeat to someone who didn't hear them and, unfortunately, it will shut them up and not seek assistance for themselves. Unfortunately, it's the game of "what comes around, goes around." I've said, "I'm sorry" too, but, in reality, I'm not sorry, I just want people to repeat what they said. If they have a problem with repeating or opening their mouths when they talk, they didn't have much to say anyway, did they? I didn't think so either.
Jan,
I know and understand your frustrations. These are the same kind of people that would say to you if asked to repeat, "Oh, never mind." Never mind is right, so with that, this is what I suggest you do. If people are rude enough not to slow down and repeat what they say, it must not be important. It also shows what kind of people they are if they're like this. When they're old and decrippet, they'll remember how many times they were rude and wouldn't repeat to someone who didn't hear them and, unfortunately, it will shut them up and not seek assistance for themselves. Unfortunately, it's the game of "what comes around, goes around." I've said, "I'm sorry" too, but, in reality, I'm not sorry, I just want people to repeat what they said. If they have a problem with repeating or opening their mouths when they talk, they didn't have much to say anyway, did they? I didn't think so either.
You are so right.
You're kidding, right? If they have a problem, it's theirs, not yours. Don't make it your problem, dear, okay?
Thanks. I will try very hard to stop doing that.How is your ear infection?
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Peppsiwoman,
Pete's right that you have no real need to say "I'm sorry," but lots of us say or sign the phrase because we're mildly sorry for the awkward situation, not for being deaf.
Just last night I was in Hallmarks looking for cards when I turned and noticed the salesgirl's mouth moving. She had a curious look on her face, like "Why is this old goat ignoring me?"
I signed and said "sorry," then signed and said "I'm deaf." It didn't mean I was sorry for being deaf, but at that moment I was really sorry for her, because the look on her face told me that it had suddenly dawned on her why I hadn't responded, and she looked stricken.
I sure know what you mean about wanting to wear a tee-shirt with "CAUTION, DEAF PERSON! MAY LASH OUT IF SURPRISED!"
If you're uncomfortable apologizing, then you should try to stop the habit, but I don't think it ever hurts yo try to put another person at ease.
Pete's right that you have no real need to say "I'm sorry," but lots of us say or sign the phrase because we're mildly sorry for the awkward situation, not for being deaf.
Just last night I was in Hallmarks looking for cards when I turned and noticed the salesgirl's mouth moving. She had a curious look on her face, like "Why is this old goat ignoring me?"
I signed and said "sorry," then signed and said "I'm deaf." It didn't mean I was sorry for being deaf, but at that moment I was really sorry for her, because the look on her face told me that it had suddenly dawned on her why I hadn't responded, and she looked stricken.
I sure know what you mean about wanting to wear a tee-shirt with "CAUTION, DEAF PERSON! MAY LASH OUT IF SURPRISED!"
If you're uncomfortable apologizing, then you should try to stop the habit, but I don't think it ever hurts yo try to put another person at ease.
Yes,I know it`s just that I`am around people that don`t know how hard it is .And they get mad if they have to repeat things over and over to me and I get to the point I feel like It`s my fault. Not everyone is bad I know that some people have better things to do than spend a few extra minutes trying to talk to me.I know that you and Pete are right. I have to try a new way of thinking and then maybe my life would get better.
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The hearing people should be the ones saying "I am sorry" for talking too fast after they have been told that u are deaf and rely on lip reading. It is usually us, deaf or hoh people, that have to accodomate to meet the communication needs of hearing people. It wouldnt hurt them to do some accodomations to meet our communication needs as well.
pek1
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Sorry I haven't responded . . . the doctor said it's gone, but, ever since, the right hearing aid isn't working.
pek1
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A guy at work the other night said, "Oh, never mind" to me, so I took his advice and "never minded."
If hearies have a problem repeating something, then I would venture to say that what they had to say to begin with wasn't all that important, huh? :P
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A guy at work the other night said, "Oh, never mind" to me, so I took his advice and "never minded."
Maybe not but I am the kind of person who hates being the only one not knowing what the person said. It could be important to me..but because the other person take another min to repeat him/herself, I will be left wondering. Most of the time I let it go but I also think it is not really fair to me.
Seems like great advice! Thanks for sharing!
My brother (HoH) used to say, "yea...yea..." pretending that he was hearing people who were talking to him. A friend encountered him at his work and later reported to me, "Your brother doesn't like me!" I said, "The next time you see him just say something that he must respond too. I guarantee he is not hearing you!" He later realized that my brother was not hearing a word since he refused to wear his hearing aids. I never made a judgment regarding my brothers embarrassment about his hearing aids but, watched him suffer throughout his youth because he refused to wear them. He was a good soccer player in High School and I used to watch his coach SCREAM at him from the sidelines and accuse him of ignoring him when I knew the truth. My brother refused to tell his coach he was HoH. I remain perplexed to this day as to why he withheld this crucial link to understanding.
Its probably for the same reason some people refuse to ask
for directions. Even though my husband and I both have
a background in ASL, now that he is HOH, (from years of
power tools and no ear protection) he refuses to get a
hearing aid, and refuses to practice his ASL. "I do fine",
or, "Don't need it" are common statements he makes to
me. (Even though I am growing tired of repeating every
thing I say 3 times) I wish he would learn sign or get
HAs. Very Frustrating!
for directions. Even though my husband and I both have
a background in ASL, now that he is HOH, (from years of
power tools and no ear protection) he refuses to get a
hearing aid, and refuses to practice his ASL. "I do fine",
or, "Don't need it" are common statements he makes to
me. (Even though I am growing tired of repeating every
thing I say 3 times) I wish he would learn sign or get
HAs. Very Frustrating!
VamPyroX
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If he won't admit it, then make a deal with him.
Ask him to take a hearing test. If he passes, then you will shut up. If he doesn't pass, then he has to promise to do something about it such as getting a hearing aid.
pek1
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I agree with you, VamPyroX! That is a good idea and call the guy's bluff. My mother is the same way, since she had a heart attack in January 2006. She knows I refuse to scream for her to hear me when she refuses to wear the headset I bought her to wear. I'm deaf, too, and because of what she's doing and acting like this (she's 80 years old), I'm back on a tranquilizer.
Raykat
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So right Shel.....I get sick of pp telling me how they take the time and trouble to speak more clearly me...i.e. move lips rather than mumble out side of mouth.........from my point of view if they spoke properly, enunciated their words clearly in the first place there would be no problem for anyone.
I am fond of saying that everyone should go for elocution lessons or speech therapy then there would be no misunderstanding.
Ditto. It also send me a big message that I really am not part of the group (family, work team, play team, etc).
You could've say "Baaahhh!!". Just joking cuz your post just made me laugh.